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why small kittens are always either the most pathetic or the most evil creature you've ever seen

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“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do

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Pretty little blue nevus ☺️

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normalize having more than one best friend. "best friend" shouldn't just be a title reserved for one person... best friend is a species...

#best friend isn't a person Danny it's a TIER

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um anyway. kererū appreciation post

#i miss seeing these guys all the time #so entertaining watching them land on a small branch #or get wildly drunk #there are signs around a local nature reserve #because they fly low so you have to be careful not to hit them #but they're so beautiful #totally underrated NZ bird #aotearoa #personal

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do it for her (your thirteen year old self)

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If you're lamenting the fact that you used to be able to shoot through a 500-page novel in like a day when you were in middle school and now you can't, it's worth bearing in mind that a big part of that is because when you were in middle school, your reading comprehension sucked. Yes, mental health and the stresses of adult life can definitely be factors, but it's also the case that reading is typically more effortful as an adult because you've learned to Ponder The Implications. The material isn't just skimming over the surface of your brain anymore, and some of the spoons you used to spend on maximising your daily page count are now spent on actually thinking about what you're reading!

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Controversial take if I've ever heard one

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capybara

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count dracula? um, okay. 1. now what

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My cat has to wear a cone this week and it made me think of an angel whose halo is a cone.

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it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.

i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.

so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”

And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”

I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”

And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware

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Let us suppose that the "average" horse would have equal proportions of all these parts. The degree to which each part in this poll deviates from the "average" size (20% of total) will determine how large or small that part of our horse will be (i.e a horse with only 10% in Legs will have legs half the size of the average horse).

I will draw a picture of the horse we make!