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mainframe000 · 12 days
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Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.
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mainframe000 · 24 days
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Last year I had a chance to play Mörk Borg, which is the bleakest fantasy RPG I've ever played and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.
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So how'd it go?
Mörk Borg was probably one of the easiest games to learn. I made the joke at the table, if you've ever played D&D you are overqualified to play MB. It uses the D&D OGL, loosely, and is technically compatible with it, but this is not that kind of game. That's just all so you can roll your little d20.
The rules are free in the "bare bones" edition but trust me, you'll want to own the full art edition, get a physical copy and put it on your shelf. It is a gorgeous book and has a style that a lot of games lack. If I could distill about 10% of the style into my own games I would be extremely satisfied with my work.
Seriously like. Go to their website. Experience this. Do it now (or don't, I'm not your mom. But you should though).
This game feels in line with the perceived brutality of first edition d&d and its ilk. You may name your character if you like but don't get attached. You can have as little as 1 hit point and nothing pulls its punches here. Deaths are common, and expected and add to the feel of the world. You're not trying to save the world, not really. You're on the precipice of doom and you're just scavengers picking over the bones of the preeminent corpse of the world.
But you can also generate a new character very quickly with SCVMBIRTHER. Don't like your new one? Kill them and make a new one. As many as you like. It's a riot just generating these wretches and seeing what could be in store for you.
But while it is fun and also sometimes necessary to generate characters quickly like this, doing so misses out on one of my favorite parts of any RPG. The Character Sheet!
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To me a good character sheet is like a window into the soul of the game.
The game has this whole, doodled in the margins of your math homework, zine you found in a dirty puddle, graphited in a bathroom stall at a crust punk show ass aesthetic and the whole book is just like this. And I am eating this shit up! Here's the alternate character sheet provided:
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This soul appears to be a little scrunkled, can I get a new one?
Now I haven't talked about how the game plays yet or anything but just drink this in for a minute. If looking at this character sheet does not make you want to try this game then I don't know what else would!
I mean I guess knowing how the game plays would but like... Okay.
The game itself uses d20 rules, but much lighter. You have small stats, and add them to a d20 roll. No skills no proficiency bonus. You'll eat your 1's and you'll like it. The target numbers are usually pretty low, floating around 10-ish, unless you're dealing with something nasty.
You may have powers, but they seem to be pretty limited in their availability and uses. The game itself plays like D&D-lite, in that you are probably doing a dungeon crawl, or other dirty work you do as an adventurer. But you are not an adventurer, you are lowly scum just trying to make a quick buck. There's no heroics going on here. If your d&d group already plays like a bunch of murder hobos then you're basically already playing mork borg in spirit but just cosplaying as a bunch of heroes. This is the game you should be playing if you want to be a cutthroat little bastard.
The game uses Omens, a limited resource that you can use to improve what you're doing; deal max damage, lower damage taken, reroll a die (or someone else's) that kind of thing. You only get them back after a rest though so if you blow through them quickly you're at the mercy of fate (and fate is not merciful here).
Our group played Rotblack Sludge which is the introductory game from the main book. We did it in a single session pretty easily, even between doing food and a fair bit of goofing off. I imagine your group could do it in 1 as well, but 2 sessions tops for sure. There are a bunch of free adventures available on their website too if you wanted to get a little deeper! That link is to their "content" part of their site which is just an endless slew of free stuff. They really just want you to play their game. And quality enough that they know enough folks will buy it.
My main criticism of the game is that I'm not sure how this plays out in the long term. I think that narratively and thematically, the game is crushing it. But mechanically, the game is light. This is by design but I can see this turning away people looking for a long term replacement for d&d. I mean some committed groups will enjoy this forever regardless, but I feel like this has the legs for a few decent adventures before you'd wrap up and move on.
But a big part of long term games is character advancement. My understanding was that the levelling system in the game is pretty light to non-existent. It didn't come up in a one shot for obvious reasons. I'll admit I only own the free rules at this time, I'm still waiting for my copy of the actual book itself. So I had to go to my friend who ran the game to understand how the leveling system works. There's no experience points, so the group levels together. You check to see if you gain some hit points, you check to see if your stats increase, and you get a random piece of gear.
And when I say check I mean you roll some dice and compare to current. For hit points you roll 6d10. If the result is higher than your current max HP then you gain 1d6 max HP. Roll under and you lose 1 max HP. This choice frustrates me. I actually like that there's a chance to lose HP, but is this really the best way we could do this?
Okay that's not fair that's a knee jerk response. Let's talk about why it might work this way. This is a bleak world so it doesn't make sense for your characters to be able to heroically weather any storm. They're just people who got lucky and survived. So we want the ceiling for how many hit points a character can have to be on the low side. The system does do that, but it takes a weird path to get there, which feels out of place considering this is otherwise a very light game. I'm gonna talk about dice math for a bit so feel free to skip ahead to the next orange part if you feel sleepy.
The average of 6d10 is 33 (5.5x6), which means that characters who managed to level up multiple times are at much higher risk of losing a hit point. Average result of +1d6HP means about 3 hit points a level on average (accounting for the fact that you still could lose some along the way instead of gaining them). Assuming you start with 5 hit points (you might have 1-10 depending on your class), you're looking at 9 level ups before the odds are against you to gain HP. You might think damn. That's a long time. And assuming a character even lives to see level 10. And I agree.
So why does it need to be so convoluted along the way?
To replicate this system without the cumbersome dice roll comparisons you could have players roll 1d8-2: there's always a chance you'll get -1 HP, even 0 HP. After a character has 20+ HP it could change to 1d8-3, then 1d8-4 at 30 and so on. If you don't like the idea of players losing multiple HP then just have it be that any resulting negative is only -1 hp. But this way you're making 1 roll and decreasing the gain over time, while still gaining. You could also just roll a flat die every level, but I think in Mork Borg it is very thematic to have something like leveling up, which is normally comforting, be cause for fear.
Anyway this is easy enough to home brew out and it seems like a lot of folks do that. But I'm judging the game based on how it is not how I could change it.
The hit point math is done... FOR NOW.
The way stats level up is simpler. Roll a d6 for each stat. If the die is equal to or higher, gain +1 in that stat (max 6). If it's less, subtract 1 (max -3), a 1 is always a -1. I like the idea that your stats could fluctuate and that high stats are not safe bets. A few levels and weird rolls later and your worst stat could end up being your best. I think this part could be controversial but I like it and I like how they do it!
But there's not really much more to advancement than that. This is fine if you're just playing a short game. But you hear stories about people running campaigns for years on end and I guess... I just don't see that happening with Mork Borg. I might say it's not that kind of game but it actually kinda is though? They have rules for long term games.
The Calender of Nerthrubel fortells the end of the world. When 7 miseries have been accumulated, the world ends. At the start of the game you choose a die to roll for Miseries; as little as 1d2, as high as 1d100. The game master rolls the die and on a 1, the world gains a misery. So the size of the die does determine the upper limit of the game, but it is possible for the game to be over in as little as 7 in-game days regardless of the die type chosen. This is a very interesting mechanic! In fact I think it's one of the most interesting parts of the game! Most games struggle with a sense of urgency. Short of "you have 48 hours to save this prince" or "if you don't return with 25 wolf noses tomorrow you don't get paid", it can be hard to wrastle the players together to try and save the world in a timely manner. Meanwhile in Mork Borg your days are literally numbered. I can't imagine the tension that would come from being on your 6th misery knowing that every single day could be the last. That is truly bleak.
The role-playing opportunities in this setting for someone trying to grasp at the last ray of hope in the darkness, to fight against fate, or to battle the darkness within is truly incredible. The Dark Souls series has already probably come to mind by now for you and it's hard not to see that as an influence or at least a spiritual contender. There is something to be said about overcoming the odds and surviving in a bleak world. The Dark Souls franchise and periphery games have thrived on that for years. But when you die in that game, you come back you just lost some progress.
You don't come back when you die in Mork Borg, you just die.
So with no significant character advancement in the game, how do you meaningfully advance a character in a game like this? The game literally urges you not to get attached to your character. It's a bit tongue in cheek about it but it's not wrong.
At our table I was the only one who survived start to finish with the same character. And that wasn't from skill on my part i got a lot of dumb luck! We had 6 players and I think we had about 10 deaths? One player was on their like 4th wretch by the end of it! This seems excessive and I don't know if this is a standard experience, but we understood that's kind how it would go beforehand so our expectations were pretty set.
While I am sort of criticising this aspect, there is something pretty thrilling about going into a game without being too committed to your character. It makes those moments where you do realize them as a character in the narrative all the more meaningful, and more tragic when they die a terrible meaningless death. Nothing is precious in Mork Borg not even your life. So make the best of what you've got while you still have it.
Mork Borg is definitely not a perfect game.
But I cannot stop thinking about it and would drop any game to play it again, or even run it.
(and that's not even to speak of all the Borg spin offs like Pirate Borg, Orc Borg or CY_BORG!!!).
If you already play D&D or Pathfinder, Mork Borg is definitely worth your time to try, because you already know how to play it. It might not be for you, but if you go with the free rules and play a free adventure the only thing you're out is your time.
If you play other RPGs and enjoy dungeon crawls or hack and slash game play, this is still a great choice and will be easy to pick up and try.
If you're new to RPGs, Mork Borg is maybe a pretty weird one to start with, but is a really polished experience to try and a really easy game to cut your teeth on, so still not bad!
If you're more interested in character role playing, then Mork Borg might not be what you're looking for, but there are so many interesting narratives that can be explored here that I think would be really interesting and hard to replicate in other games!
If you're a power fantasy gamer, then I think Mork Borg might be a skip for you. Unless your power fantasy is to be a lobotomized mouse in Alley Cat Alley. No judgment, you do you.
If you took one look at the characters sheets up top and said "oh hell yeah I'm gonna play that!" and didn't read the rest of this lengthy text then we are already best friends but alas you'll never know it because you didn't read to the end... Oh well.
Now excuse me, I'm gonna dream about being ripped apart by a skeletal ooze and dying a painful death tonight (affectionate)!
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mainframe000 · 1 month
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mainframe000 · 2 months
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day barely even started and I already had to hear "thank you for being our wives, sisters, aunts" and "keep being women and giving birth and being delicate unlike us men" as compliments for international women's day
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mainframe000 · 2 months
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It's so weird talking to actual theologians bc they're always like "Wow youre incredibly well informed and good at presenting this information." And I have to stand there like an idiot and say "I learned it by trying to make good Tumblr posts."
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mainframe000 · 2 months
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garnet from steven universe is canonically a system!!
requested by anonymous and @zumester!!
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mainframe000 · 2 months
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The Red Knight by Ami Thompson
Updated 12/1/21 
Updated 12/31/21
Updated 1/29/22
Updated 3/12/22
Updated 4/23/2022
Updated 5/10/2022
Updated 8/13/2022
Updated 9/4/2022
Updated 10/25/2022
Updated 2/2/2023
Updated 4/5/2023
Updated 9/15/2023
Updated 2/25/24
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mainframe000 · 3 months
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so, did I ever tell you guys about the time my roommate accidentally simulated gender dysphoria in VR?
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mainframe000 · 3 months
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Before my vaginoplasty my doctor came to see if they'd need to graft extra tissue or if I had 'enough' to work with. So basically I just had to flash him real quick to which he replied in his french accent "very nice." but in a professional way, like it would make his job easier that i had a big cock. It's the last compliment that part of me ever got because an hour later he turned it inside out origami style.
quick, tell me the weirdest compliment you’ve ever gotten. my doctor told me i have impeccable eardrums 
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mainframe000 · 3 months
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My Human is Not
Written by Jackson Lanzing and Collin Kelly
Art by Sonny Liew
Star Trek: Waypoint Special #1
High Res Version
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mainframe000 · 4 months
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Y’know an awful lot of Terry Pratchett’s books are concerned with how powerful women are when they get angry and how important anger is as a driving force to defend what is right and to tackle injustice. 
A lot of his most interesting and most deeply moral characters are angry ones. Granny Weatherwax, Sam Vimes, Tiffany Aching. All are to a large extent driven to do good by anger.
And that honestly means a lot to me.
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mainframe000 · 4 months
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Kinda feel like there's some untapped meme/reaction image potential from old horror movie trailers...
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mainframe000 · 4 months
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mainframe000 · 4 months
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“chancellor palpatine, sith lords are our speciality.” funniest fucking line in star wars history. obi-wan, who has never killed a sith and knows he has never killed a sith, talking about himself and a guy who is going to become a sith lord within half a week, and speaking directly to the sith lord who is going to make that guy a sith lord, with FULL fucking confidence: “sith lords are our speciality.” he says this to palpatine’s face. to his face. to darth sidious’ face. in the most condescending fucking voice. completely unaware that he is speaking directly to the sith lord, to THE sith lord, who before the week is out is going to directly fuck over his entire life’s work and everything he loves and believes in: “sith lords are our speciality.” could you be any more cringefail. actually palpatine deserved his whole victory for not bursting into laughter then and there
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mainframe000 · 5 months
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what did they mean by this...
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mainframe000 · 5 months
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if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?
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mainframe000 · 5 months
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the year is 2028 and i am a quarter of the way into the latest 45-hour youtube essay epic everyone's been talking about
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