mamaton

[mamaton]

Listening to instrumental music at 2-3am brings about certain emotions and provoke certain thoughts.

That vague and lurking feeling that I’m missing out something in life. Yet at the same time I am not willing to let go of what I’m having to seek that important missing piece. It may be greed, it may be fear, or it may just be fomo. 

People say you should learn to value what you have, and tell tales about how you tend to miss the good flowers just because you want to explore the whole field. Yet people also say not to settle for fine, but to look for great. What is the right way to go about life?

Sometimes I feel like I know what I’m looking for in my life, sometimes I’m not so sure. I’ve always believed I’m destined for greater things, and I have the potential for so much more. Yet I am stuck where I am without a clue how to move on to where I want to be.

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Also one of those emotions where you feel like you are by the sea by yourself. The wind is blowing, the sun not so clear and there are clouds in the sky. You look at the waves crashing on the shore and thinking about your life, the people in it, the universe, the linkage among them all. And you realize that you are so small, so unimportant, that you are just a being flashing by this everchanging universe. Then, all of a sudden, everything becomes so unimportant as well, and you feel like you can let go of anything. Nothing really matters after all.

In the grand scheme of things, some things that may seem important at first actually don’t matter. What’s left is that moment you are in now, with the sea and the breeze, and yourself.

[mamaton]

Limits reached soon

About time I polish up that resume

[mamaton]

Damn

[mamaton]

It’s a new year

I’m supposed to be writing all happy things to kick start my new year’s Tumblr. But amidst the myriad of feelings I’m having right now, I’ve decided to kick start the blog with naked emotions instead.

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When a family member says “don’t intervene in things that are not your business” or “whatever I decide is my business,” you wonder what is the meaning of family at all. At least, what is it to them?

All the years, all the conversations, all the efforts. It just takes one moment of ego for those things to disappear into thin air. When their primal need for pleasure clouds their judgment and their self-importance blocks their ears and their minds, what are we really doing here trying to have a talk?

Nobody likes to admit they are wrong. But there should be a limit to your denial. When are you gonna get a grip about yourself and start taking care of your life instead of waiting for some rich guy to come around and place you on a fake throne? If your life were a place where slackers succeed and people get on top without trying, then I don’t wanna be a part of it.

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After all the family drama, my wish to have a partner without getting married got stronger each time I visit home. After all, how are you to know how a person turns out in the long run? If the person is “the one” for you, marriage shouldn’t be the factor that “seals the deal.”

Work, friendship, family, commitment. I miss the time when all I had to worry about was to get a good grade to maintain my scholarship. Now life has so many layers to it that happiness is such a fleeting thing.

With the things going on in my life, I just need a partner who can support me through the storms, a true friend who stays with me no matter what and keeps me sane and optimistic. Or am I looking too far for too much?

[mamaton]

beautiful <3

Tamaki  -  https://twitter.com/ta_ma_ky  -  http://ta-ma-ky.tumblr.com

[mamaton]

Let me disarm you I'm not trying to own you

[mamaton]

Lost

Amidst all the chaos in the modern life, I wonder where I really belong. Where will I really find peace? When will I have all it takes to be comfortable? Who do I really want to be?

[mamaton]

Such art *drools*

Kim Han seul  -  https://hanseul-kim.deviantart.com  -  https://twitter.com/edcroo111  -  https://www.patreon.com/haren1125  -  https://www.facebook.com/Haren1125

[mamaton]

ちょうどそのように、私は再び恋に落ちる。

[mamaton]

Never saw elephants in this light before :O

Luqman Reza Mulyono  -  https://artjongkie.com  -  https://www.facebook.com/artjongkie  -  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoL_qo6qakgkL3F5eLzbiZw  -  https://jongkie.deviantart.com  -  https://www.instagram.com/jongkie  -  https://society6.com/jongkie

[mamaton]

I remember

The way he intertwined his fingers with mine. How he softly stroke the back of my hand.

It felt wrong, but I was drunk. Even now, I don’t know what to do.

[mamaton]

And snow outside

And jacket

Sweater

Mufflers

Woolen hats

And curling up in the blanket

Snoozing in the morning

[mamaton]

#always remember us this way #a star is born #lady gaga

[mamaton]

The Rain Sonata

It’s June

It’s the rain

The rain

You wish it didn’t rain

And you didn’t miss me

If it didn’t rain and you didn’t miss me

What else could you do?

I’m like the raindrop on those old streets

Watering our memories that stick to your brain

Those memories are like moss

Hold onto them and you will slip and fall

That old love is now long gone

The chrysanthemum petals won’t stop falling

Yellow your garden like my shirt

In June, the sky is gloomy

In June, you are alone

The sparrows on the rooftop have flown away

Just like me

Just like me

#khuc mua #hong nhung

[mamaton]

Their end

It’s near. But I don’t feel a thing. I guess everybody knew this was coming. But this end is so dramatic and tiring.

Marriage, something that is supposed to bind two people’s lives together in a sacred ceremony, doesn’t seem so sacred anymore nowadays. People get married then split as easily as breaking up from a relationship. Then there is a question floating around, whose fault is it. Does it matter?

When one party is unwilling to compromise and sees everything as a war of win or lose, the marriage cannot be at peace. And if s/he is not listening, then there is no point in talking either. Such a mess.

I wonder where this will go.

This makes me feel like taking a break from all human relationships altogether lol.

[mamaton]

I fall back into you every single time.

[mamaton]

I am so ruined