maroonghoul

[maroonghoul]

Ranking of all the Christmas Horror Movies I’ve seen (as of 2023)

Updated for some new movies I watched this year:

36.Alien Raiders

35.Anna & the Apocalypse

34.Better Watch Out

33.Good Tidings

32.The Wolf of Snow Hollow

31.Jack Frost

30.I Trapped the Devil And this is why you never do surprise visits. Either that or call ahead and touch base long beforehand. It was a bit interesting that the ambiguity of whether it was actually anything supernatural went out sooner then I expected. Then again, if the devil can't keep lying to you, messing with your head would be his plan B. Of course, that means this had to be 90% atmosphere. How much you want to bet he could've easily left the whole time; this was just more fun?

29.Slay Belles

28.P2 Actually a bit similar to Better Watch Out, and while that one looks better visually, I rank this one higher because I believed this villain felt a little more like a real person. Lately, villains that are both masterminds and immature man-children disinterest me, because I can't reconcile those two traits in my head these days. I have a easier time if it's one or the other. Plus, maybe the grungier surrounding felt more appropriate because a too whimsical approach to this "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them" just rubs the wrong way.

That being said, yeah this location loses some of it's scare factor when it becomes monotonous and hard to navigate. I would've appreciate just a little more variety in the locations used I guess. The use of music is nice at least. Also appreciated how bloody the kills are.

27.The Advent Calendar While the gimmick itself seems to be the only link, I liked the idea of tying "Be careful what you wished for" horror stories to Christmas. Blame George Bailey.

That being said, there's an argument that the conceit of the main character is rather ableist. I can roll with it this time since her previous job and passion, dancing, heavily depended on having working legs, so it's easier to buy. For once, I'd like more disabled characters whose job and hobbies DON'T require it and so can visibly cope. It's getting frustrating.

I did love how open ended they left it. Sometimes, there being a choice at all is more important for a story then what the characters actually chose. Kinda don't want a sequel because of it.

26.Cronos To be honest, this would've actually ranked much higher if it used more iconography. Hell, it becomes New Years halfway through. I get why it's invoked though. It's interesting to go back to the start of Del Toro's career, with one of the most unique vampire movies I've ever seen.

In most body horror set ups like this, Gris would become the main threat, instead of remaining the victim pretty much throughout. I don't think he even kills anyone for their blood.

Vampires are at their most interesting, as a concept and as characters, when they're always in control of their choices, good and bad. Otherwise, why not pick zombies or werewolves?

It's pretty amazing that right out the gate, Del Toro took arguably the most popular monster type of all time, and likened it to a gentle grandparent. Great tone setter for his whole filmography, in hindsight.

25.All the Creatures were Stirring

24.Sint

23.The Lodge

22.Black Christmas (2019)

21.Body

20.Red Snow Yet another Vampire Christmas movie. This time, with a reality check that most of them would be arseholes. Not necessarily wild beasts. That would almost be an improvement.

The movie also keeps you guessing over what side Luke would fall to in the end. Given the way the actor plays it like even he doesn't seem to know is a good touch. And his feedback on the book's characters; snipes at the tropes or his own insecurity? You tell me.

Poor Olivia thought she was getting her own version of Twilight, and instead got Blade by way of Fargo. That sentence is utter nonsense without the context. I would say I want to see a show or movie like that, but I could probably get that fix by just catching up on What We Do in The Shadows. Not that this is anything like that though.

Remember, vampires aren't evil because they're not human at all. They're evil because they kept the worst parts of being human.

19.Pooka Went in thinking tis would be an update of Christmas Evil, but it's more like a Xmas-themed Angel Heart. An obvious commentary on how soul draining working heavily in consumerism can be, masking how bad and traumatized people can do mental gymnastics to avoid the hard truth about their mistakes. Literally, the worst possible Christmas I've seen that didn't have a typical killer. Of course, that twist ending reminds me of...

18.Dead End

17.Black Friday (2021) Also works as a Thanksgiving movie. Anyone's whose worked in a place that affected by Black Friday or Christmas shopping in general FEELS this movie in their bones. Even before the zombies show up. This is why I stay indoors or at work during these days. Sure, the titular day means less and less every year, but let's continue the trend.

16.Silent Night (2012)

15.It's a Wonderful Knife Remake a holiday classic, but make George Bailey a lesbian and Mr. Potter a low rent Trump (Oh god, is that saying a lot!) that gets so fed up that he goes on a killing spree dressed in what would happen if Ghostface bleached his entire costume? Sure, why not. Give the killer Santas a break. And you get to kill him twice.

Although, that third act superpower makes absolutely no sense. I get that it's meant to secure a few plot points together, but...just no. Seriously, where did it even come from? Also, even though how the love interest remembers it is making my head spin. Not how she remembers, but if she remembers both timelines. What problems would come if she only remembers one? And Joel McHale is way too good playing a prick then as a loving dad, I'm sorry. Community has ruined me for him.

Like the subtext of it all though. The messaging, I mean. Y'know given the fiasco going on lately behind the scenes with Scream VII, maybe I'll just pretend this is the real Scream VII. We'll see.

14.Wind Chill

13.Christmas Bloody Christmas

12.Santa's Slay

11.The Children

10.Rare Exports

9.A Christmas Horror Story

8.Day of the Beast Was this meant as a parody of every catholic horror movie released the past 30 years before it? It skewered them good! Pleas tell me the antichrist was fake in this and what we had was one of the insane yet friendliest rampages committed to film! It even has a Peter Vincent clone that keeps getting worse and worse things happening to him! I'd just preferred it was more visibly blasphemous.

7.Deadly Games

6.Silent Night (2021) Surprised? Maybe it's here because I over thought how the significance of the holiday tied in with the apocalypse in this movie. I'm sure if you went back far enough in history, hundreds or thousands of years ago, anytime winter rolled around seemed apocalyptic to people. Of course, mostly to the lower classes. And now with a hypothetical scenario that can feel as bad as those times must have felt, rather then actually tough it out or try to learn from, the government and the upper class jump to take the cowards way out. A little Poe, isn't it?

Cue one of the more depressing then maybe hopeful endings to one of these movies. (Depends to how you react to the very last shot and believe about the plot point concerning the homeless and immigrants)

5.Christmas Evil

4.Krampus

3.Scrooged

2.Black Christmas (1974)

1.Gremlins

#I trapped the devil #Silent Night 2021 #Day of the beast

[maroonghoul]

Terror Time 2023: Days 29 thru 31

Let me wrap this up.

Shaun of the Dead I feel like there's nothing left for me to add to this. Everyone and their mother have already analyzed every frame of this movie already. Edgar Wright's style of direction practically invites it, given how much it works to keep your attention.

Zombie movies do hit a bit different after these past few years, especially this one, given how the characters are so quick to think it'll all "blow over". Shaun at least tried to do things properly, even though he both overestimated what he thought counts as safe enough and was severely let down by certain members of his party (David moreso then Ed. Like, Ed actually came off a bit less of an ass this time watching). And now he and Liz live in a world that in a world trying hard to be post-infection while in denial of how much it's still in the shadow of it.

Yeah, this movie definitely holds up after Covid.

Cobweb *Spoilers* This movie started like a bit more down to earth People Under The Stairs, but it's third act veered straight into Malignant and Barbarian territory. I went in this one as cold as possible, but I still guess where it was sorta heading.

It's a bit interesting we're still getting the "deformed baby grows up to be horror villain" cliche. I'm at the point where I'm less confused over how A led to B (it was abandonment and growing up feral that did it this time), so much as when was the last time period where something like this was an actual concern? Early 20th century? I need the history of this trope now for some reason.

I guess the moral is, cycles of abuse make both the abuser and abused into horrible people. Sometimes, better flight then fight.

Bride of Frankenstein Gotta end with a classic. Also, another movie that's been analyzed to death. This one closer to the novel in some parts (Blind Hermit, Monster wanting a mate, learning to speak, then commit suicide at the end), but it's still very different. (Pretorious. He was worth it.). Hell it's practically a mirror image of the first movie; starting at the windmill with the final act being about making another monster. ("It's like poetry. It rhymes!")

Frankenstein's practically a supporting character in this now. He regressed in his character arc a bit then he was forced to retread his old ways until he can escaped. Seemed to be a way to excuse him after what he did in the first movie. I don't buy it. What happened to his father and Victor?

How long did the Creature even lived, if we assumed he died at the end of this? A week? A whole week and only one eight hour period was actually pleasant. Heartbreakingly so.

And of course, the ending plays like a what if scenario compared to how it played in the book. But I can buy it as something Mary Shelley would approve of. On one hand, maybe they shouldn't have put too much effort into the Bride as compared to her would-be groom. Give her some lessons, she could almost pass. It's a shame we never got one of the classic films do more with the Bride. Yeah, the loneliness is the point of the monster. But his characterization sorta went down as these films went on anyway. Hell, in the final movie, he was practically a diabolus ex machina. It's just sad that this character's lack of agency (except in one instinctual moment) is the only significant thing about her. That said, it's telling when the Creature realized he was kinda following in his father's footsteps (forcing his will on a being he was responsible for and getting backlash), he chose to end it all rather then double down. In a way, that makes him the most human of the Universal monsters. Though I might have to revisit the Wolf Man to confirm that.

Even so, these two films are still a good example of a lousy adaptation in detail, but not at all in spirit. They retain the point Shelley was trying to make; most men prefer seeking glory over responsibility, even though most times the latter follows the former. The masses really don't like what they don't understand, real or otherwise and most won't stop after they started.

Also, the importance of child support and safety nets.

Hope you had a Happy Halloween, everybody!

#shaun of the dead #cobweb #bride of frankenstein

[maroonghoul]

Terror Time 2023! Days 25 thru 29

Afflicted (2013) I'm guessing the reason they call it this is because "A Canadian Vampire in Paris" gave the wrong idea.

In all seriousness, the cruel ironic contrast between where Derek is in regards to death at the beginning and end of the movie; he'll be dead within about a year to never be able to die at all. *chef's kiss*. That being said, he put on quite a show during the events of the movie, I'll be a bit surprised if it's not taken as proof to the world vampires exist. The only logical place a sequel could go are the world governments opening a new vampire hunter department. Either that or Derek will have to move halfway across the globe.

The Man They Could Not Hang It's fun looking into an alternate universe where the Saw franchise started 65 years earlier. OK, I joke, but now I want to see it for real. Boris Karloff could sweet talk me into disemboweling myself!

I want to say this could all have been avoided if Dr. Savaard had a terminally ill person to be his volunteer instead but given how quickly everyone else seems to leap to conclusions as is, it probably wouldn't have made that much a difference after all. Then he's REALLY lose faith in humanity.

The revenge part itself was too short and had too small a body count. But I guess if you wanted a proper revenge slasher movie with this setup that had only one or two survivors, you would have to wait at least two decades before Hollywood would take a chance on that. Well, at least I get to see Karloff play both the resurrected monster And the scientist that created him at the same time.

Phenomena (1985) So the moral is I shouldn't be cruel to bugs because they can be my friends, but rat-faced boys and their families deserve death? Huh?!

Otherwise, it is a Dario Argento movie, though a little more star studded than usual. I think I've gotten use to the weird music choices for the exploration/escape sequences. Also, I don't know why it's always so satisfying when your serial killer villains die at the hands of animals. I guess it's because so many of them fancy themselves apex predators or such, that the universe literally proving that's not true as they're defeated is the icing on the cake.

So last Saturday was a full moon, so that meant...

WEREWOLF DOUBLE FEATURE!

Late Phases Werewolves already symbolize puberty in quite a few films, it's refreshing to see one symbolize something totally opposite.

While killing the dog upfront the way this movie did was hard to watch, I think it was necessary to make sure we at least understood Ambrose's side on this. He's not the most likable guy already, to the other characters included. But I feel that's what he wanted at this point in his life. And even though the werewolf itself wasn't in the movie much (Not that I blamed them, that design wasn't great), I think it ended up working to the movie's advantage. It actually becomes like a chess match, especially once the werewolf realizes Ambrose is on to him. Tom Noonan was a pretty obvious red herring all things considered, but I appreciate the actual wolf was the 2nd most religious character in the movie at least.

The climax stretches credibility when you see the normal man suplex a werewolf! Age isn't really an issue, since they're both old, but c'mon! What's the advantage otherwise?

Well, can't say I didn't get a good amount of gore I come to expect from werewolf movies. At least his son knew the truth by the end. Even if it lead to a quite goofy final shot.

Werewolves Within Werewolves seem to lend themselves more to whodunnits then vampires do for some reason. 'Cause if they're not the main character of a greek tragedy or in an urban fantasy setting, that's the kind of movie they show up in. I'm guessing it just makes the figurative killer within that more literal.

I do like that it's used to deconstruct that one archetype that's been constant in movies it seems the past 20 years, along with taking a shot at small towns and showing why most of the people who live there are the worst. Are there enough people left to even count it as a town at this point? If it doesn't, that's a lot of free real estate I guess. Last note, I liked which character got to land the killing shot on the werewolf. Revenge is a dish best served...without sandwiches. If you've seen it, you get it.

Child's Play 2 I saw the first one, along with Bride and Seed a long time ago. And I know I have even more to catch up on.

How is it that while this one seems to have a cleaner look then the first one, it feels a lot more darker? Lo and behold, adults actors not coming back for the sequel have serious consequences on the kid characters. This was practically setting up to be horror flick already without Chucky coming back.

Speaking of which, I like stupid he is in this. Not the concept, I mean the character's intelligence. He practically lucked (or fumbled, depending on your POV) into that disguise, and other than that, he makes just as many rational decisions as...well, an actual serial killer. I've talked before about how slashers tie into the true dangers of suburbia and the privileged. In this case, not only does Chucky have a better way to hide in plain sight then Michael but not as good as Freddy's, he also specifically taps into the bad that comes from people who live there buying into consumerism, with a product that even after it's "paid" for, continues to take and take and is never satisfied. Other that that, the real genius of Chucky's look is to show how he's constantly the most immature character in these films, even moreso then the actual kids. He's not much less mature as certain billionaire CEOs we hear about at least.

Maybe that's why, when Mancini had more control over this one then the first movie, he had the climax at the company factory. Even if he can't directly tie Chucky to the amoral corporation storywise, he could symbolically here. Even though I figured he would camouflage himself better then he actually did.

Good to see you again, Chucky. Next stop to catch up is Curse.

#Afflicted 2013 #phenomena #Late Phases #werewolves within #Child's Play 2

[maroonghoul]

Terror Time 2023: Day 20 Thru 24

V/H/S 94 It's been a long time since I visited this franchise and I know I'm still two entries behind. I'll get to them, but in the meantime, I want to talk about how much I like this one.

Holy Hell the wraparounds have always been the weakest part of these movies (sans maybe Viral since I skipped that one) and this is no exception. I don't think i get it. So the female members of a SWAT team are part of a videodrome like cult and tonight they're sacrificing their squad? I mean, OK.

Storm Drain this cliche about reporters going into the lair of the killer is now starting to wear thin for me. Even if sewers weren't creepy (and these ones very much are before the cultists show up), why would you be this willing to wade through literal shit for a story?

That being said, the Ratma effect is awesome. I may not understand how acid puke equals god, but I'm willing to overlook that because these ARE cultists and they may be more we didn't see. The final scene makes all those flaws worth it. It's an all-timer.

The Empty Wake This story easily has the best build up. Funeral parlors are great settings already, but add onto that a storm, loneliness, boredom, and then add sudden paranoia about the body not being dead; whoo boy! And even if that doesn't work for you, the zombie is great. The whole last bit of this plays like one of those stealth horror games in the best way. As a bonus, the zombie doesn't play fair.

The Subject Certainly the most balls-to-the-wall modern update of Frankenstein you'll ever see. It's also probably the best action movie adaptation of it. Also appreciate that as monstrous this version of the mad doctor certainly is, it remembers also he was never the only monster from that setup. I'm starting to feel like we're over the police being the designated heroes in horror films. Good.

Terror Of course when right-wing redneck extremists gain access to a vampire, all they care about is how to use it to blow up or set something on fire. Kinda also like you don't get that it IS a vampire until about halfway through. Good on him for taking revenger, but the best part is they were so stupid about it, they didn't even get the chance to carry out their actual plan. And I though being seduced by them was the dumbest thing you could do.

The Craft: Legacy I chose to watch this one over the original because I heard this one was less anti-women with power. Turns out, I might've been better off with that one.

the characterizations of the other three was so weak, you might as well combine them into one character instead. I don't even know anything about their home lives. The reveal of the main character's mother I guess is big to fans of the original, but it doesn't seem to really add anything here.

As for Timmy, yes he was a jerk, but I'm not sure he deserved getting, as far as the coven knows, brainwashed. Did they even know what spell they casted on him? A Woke spell? How does that even work? Though given his coming out of the closet moment later, I could think they actually casted a bravery spell on him by mistake. And thanks to it, he finally gains the spine to throw the BS he's been taught and regurgitating all his life by the patriarchy out the window. You can certainly see potential in a subplot in how men are benefitted by feminism too, especially bi men. But instead, they cut it short by getting him killed by an asleep David Duchovny. I get the point of his villain, but it's the kind of character that needs either a down to earth approach or a campy performance, and this has neither. I gotta find better pro-witch movies.

Dark City (1998) When I felt like rewatching Body Snatchers, I knew I had to rewatch this one too. It may not be an actual horror movie, but it's visuals take inspirations from some of the earliest ones. An example being the Strangers looking like a race of nosferatu without the teeth. Though honestly, whether I knew what was going on or not, I would still kill to live in a city like this. Granted, I would appreciate there being a beach to escape to plus actual sunlight. The choice is part of the point, regardless which one I choose.

Getting back to my first sentence; In a spiritual sense, this is Invasion of the Body Snatchers in reverse. In fact, I feel that describes a lot of movies released in the late 90s. Pleasantville, Equilibrium, American Beauty, and of course, The Matrix. A world where a few pod people stop and think; "Wait, what's the point of all this? There does need to be more to life." A bit overly optimistic, especially when considering what world event comes later...and the monstrous acts we as a society did in reaction to it. Does changing the world matter if not a lot of people care enough to wake up?

Evil Dead Trap I watched this and the following movie in one day. It's amazing I never lost my lunch. Now I know what inspired Gabriel from Malignant. I don't know how they got away with making this movie back then, but I'm glad they did.

Terrifier 2 As long as you can really stomach the most brutal, bloody, and cruel kills imagined by mankind, this is a good addition to your yearly Halloween watch traditions. As long as you have the time, of course. And I didn't even like the first movie that much.

The Haunted Palace (1963) Remember last year, I said I wasn't going to watch any more Vincent Price movies? Turns out I lied, including to myself. I'm hitting the Poe films of his I haven't seen yet, starting with this one. Yes, it's not really Poe instead of Lovecraft but whatever. The titular palace certainly lives up to the title, and there are a shocking amount of faithful Lovecraft trademarks here (my favorite is the Necronomicon actually have "Necronomicon" printed on it's binding). But overall, I didn't care for it that much. I guess it's a pet peeve when I feel characters are slow to realize someone being possessed or bodyswapped. Also, kind of weird the revenge subplot just stopped halfway through. Everyone knew this was the most fun part of the movie so well, they made two better Vincent Price movies that were all about revenge after this.

The worst part is the ending. Where the servants go? I thought they were fighting Charles? Did they escape or dead? Also, if Curwen is back in control, shouldn't the revenge subplot continue? This ended too soon.

The Blob (1988) This was a mean movie the first time I watched it and it's still feels mean now. I don't know how they got away with making this in the late 80s though I can see why it bombed. I even appreciate the twist where it was a US weapon gone wrong more then I did before (Though did they have to make the human villain one of the only two black people in this movie?) This movie takes the then passable "teenage rebellion" of the original and ups the ante by saying "F the police! F the government! and F date rapists too while we're at it!"

This is the best the blob has ever looked and ever will look. (Especially in today's Hollywood). Mad respect to any movie that takes a silly and taken-for-granted monster and finds a way to show why it scared people in the first place. I'm sad there wasn't a sequel, but at the same time, I'm not sure I need one. There's been plenty of religious horror made since anyway.

#v/h/s/94 #the craft legacy #dark city 1998 #Evil Dead Trap #terrifier 2 #the haunted palace #the blob 1988

[maroonghoul]

Terror Time 2023: Days 13 thru 19

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood I'm now believing the hype with Kane Hodder's Jason. Full-on zombie look aside, even him just standing there is chilling.

Otherwise though; Okay I knew going in the kills were neutered, but I didn't expect it to be at the point where I literally can't tell how a few of these people even died. Hard to think the MPAA were ever the good guys on this based on how unreasonably petty the cut demands were. If they were actual moral guardians, they might've taken such measures before filming had started. At least, keep the filmmakers from being set up to fail. Instead we're left with a repeat of Part 4 for the first two acts, and not as good.

Though, apart from the mixed messages of the abuser Dad being summoned back to save the day, the third act was easily the best. Practically a long montage of Jason getting the crap kicked out of him by telekinesis. It's a shame they didn't follow up on Tina or introduce another copy of any other Horror icon. She could've been the Mothra to his Godzilla. (not the shipping part!).

I think for the next Friday the 13th, I want to go back a few entries. One where they actually allowed some blood. Before Tommy Jarvis...

Hellraiser(2022) I only've seen the first two Hellraiser movies before this, so my standards might be a little too high. Granted, yes, the cenobites here look amazing. Jamie Clayton is a great Pinhead (or should we call them the Priest from here on out?). And it again feels right to have all this happen because a selfish rich man ruins makes all of this everyone else's problem.

But I don't know if this a tad generic setup was needed for this with the rest of our characters. The first movie was a play on Faust and the second was about an escape from hell, at first figuratively then literally. This setup feels more akin to every teen supernatural horror movie made in the last 20 years.

Yeah I get the addiction metaphor, and the point here being if you're too careless with it, you can ruin your friends and family's lives too. But it still feels neutered with the sexual tension when compared to I and II. And I already pretty much got the addiction metaphor from Evil Dead 2013.

The ending felt right at least. After a certain point, the smart move is to stop using the monkey's paw. And there sometimes is no way to fix things. I'm not sure we need to see Riley again, but I would like a less generic set up for the next one.

Deep Rising Honestly, if it weren't for the nasty way it eats people, this is a movie where you can easily root for the monster. It's like if the bad guys from a Die Hard ripoff got ambushed by something from Lovecraft. Everyone's either a rich prick, a terrorist, a mercenary, or a thief. Which ironically keeps this pretty light and fast. Also points for having a comic relief (Benny from the Mummy!) be whiny WITHOUT being annoying! Also, did we ever really find out what creature they were supposed to find in the unmade sequel? King Kong? Wouldn't have made sense from a marketing perspective.

The Exorcist III: Legion With rewatching the original still fresh in my mind, I can compare these two a bit more easily then I have in the past. This movie feels strangely smaller, probably because there's just one main plot, rather then the two from the original. I get why, although it just makes the Father Morning character stick out like a sore thumb even more. I'm half convinced he never shot any of his scenes with the other actors. Even the demon and Gemini killer are more creepy then terrifying compared to Regan. But I did like there was a bit more of a plan here then the original. Sure in both of them, it's about causing despair to everyone around, but at least this one is more complex then setting up a rematch with Merrin.

I get why Blatty might've been pissed the studio interfered to make this more of a tie-in to the original. Every artist likes doing something different then before. But, in a rare instance, I understand them and think they actually make this movie stronger. This was set in the Exorcist universe, so that's the brand you have to use. And I do prefer they tried what did get sorta worked last time someone in this city claimed to be possessed. It goes about as well, but it still worked in the end. Better then a cop just shooting, for all anyone can prove, a mentally ill patient.

So with the original creator writing this story, plus executive meddling that actually makes sense; of course this is still one of the greatest horror sequels ever made, even if it strangely feels more like an epilogue of the first film. I have no interest in the second movie or the prequel. Maybe I'll get to Believer one day. (I'm just more of a fan of the Halloween franchise). I have heard good things about the television show, so that might be my next step.

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014) I saw the original film five years ago in this case, so my memory's bit fuzzy. Although I do remember that one wasn't really a story. This is a remake in a sense, everything from the original more or less happened in this movie too, but there's also an actual plot. It's pretty much Scream, especially with the meta angle, but still. In any other circumstance, I'd have a problem with a killer being inspired by a movie, but this is a movie depicting actual events that were sensationalized, in the same town, so we have a more sensible message then what we would've gotten otherwise. I even liked the killer reveal. They fooled me with the creeper love interest, only to reveal it was actually the cop AND the insecure first boyfriend. Sure, the finale was a pretty lame setup, but at least it wasn't too long. Sometimes, you just gotta leave a bad town.

Also, Hi Amos from the Expanse! Sorry you lost your head.

Dr. X (1932) This was kind of an interesting experiment compared to other horror movies at the time. Not just the coloring, but the plot structure. Told from the point of view from an outsider coming in looking for answers instead of the monster. Worked for the book version of Jekyll & Hyde. Also, it's a fun premise; one of many mad scientists is an actual murderer, so you send another mad scientist to catch him. Even the climax is like something out of a nightmare, in a good way.

But...yeah. Lee Tracy's reporter character is just annoying and pushy. Completely useless and obnoxious until conveniently at the end. Look, if you're going to call your movie Dr. X and he's not the villain, he should get a lot more screen time then this. I also don't feel they made the most of their mansion setting. I'm a sucker for old dark house movies, but I guess maybe my standards really are high. Well, now when I reaching for something when I'm alone, I might find myself randomly saying "Synthetic flesh!" for no reason. So I guess there's that.

The Strangers: Prey At Night The marketing for the originals scared me way too much to see it at the time. But I was a bit curious about hearing good things about this one. First act is very good at establishing dread, even a little bit before they reached the trailer park. But when it starts, it almost never stops until the night is over. The quest moments are few, but they make them count. Should've known Christina Hendricks, the only actor I recognized, was chosen to die first. Of course once she's gone, there goes your sense of security. One slight disadvantage about the setup is that this is no one's home turf. Sure, you never believe any place is safe, but it also feels like our villains act rather carelessly. I guess that's the point; this is when they got too cocky and so finally paid the price. Their demises were pretty cathartic, especially with the one homage to Christine near the end.

For this new trilogy they just announced, I wonder if it's going to be a whole new group of psychos or just a reimagining of the trio. I'm even curious to how it'll stack up to a certain other slasher trilogy we just gotten.

Mad Love (1935) I went in expecting what would basically be Eye from Body Bags 60 years earlier. Was pleasantly surprised to see that was a red herring and the real monster is something totally not relevant now; an incel! Though yeah, no wonder this was Peter Lorre's big break. You could not have picked a scarier character for him. Bonus points where the effects from the implant feel somewhat realistic, apart from their blood types conveniently matching apparently. Sure, the guy will never play piano as well ever again, but muscle memory gave him a new skill.

Well, my big takeaway from this; I need more Peter Lorre movies on my watchlist.

I'm a few days behind here, but I will catch up!

#friday the 13th part vii #deep rising #the exorcist iii #hellraiser 2022 #the town that dreaded sundown #The strangers: prey at night

[maroonghoul]

Terror Time 2023: Days 7 thru 12

Possession (1981) I don't know what happened in this movie at all, and that's not a complaint. I came for two balls-to-the-wall scenery chewing performances, along with sex with Lovecraftian creatures, and I got it all.

As for everything else, I don't know where the creature came from, or what it's supposed to represent, in-universe or out. Though considering the bookends with Same Neil's employers here, and how one of them had pink socks like his unseen target described at the beginning... Maybe this all a situation similar to Possessor, where because he didn't want to come back, the creature was sent to replace him. After all, how do we know it's the only one? I guess what I'm saying it, this is about a quite literal destruction of the nuclear family. Getting rid of that might as well feel as earth shattering as actual nuclear destruction to the current generation. Though speaking of monster duplicates with possible plans of world domination...

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) I first watched this around 20 years ago, coming away scared of the idea pod people could ever come for me. Now I watch it, knowing on some level, I became one of them long ago.

Self-depreciating aside, the big thing I noticed this time around was "anvilicious" the theme was. the original movie was about communism, the 1990s version was supposedly about AIDS and the military, and the 2007 version was about the war on terror, all to varying degrees of quality, I hear. This one, I heard it's about the rise of the baby boomers and all the self-absorption that came with it, and we're still dealing with today. But I also saw a theme of city alienation, along with gentrification caused by conservatives. (That "maybe he's a republican" line also aged too well, especially with who became president just a few years later).

The famous ending scene of the movie, (moreso then all other scenes, so the surprise is ruined basically forever), can be a metaphor that if force doesn't make you assimilate, total hopelessness will do the trick.

I'm surprised there still hasn't been a fifth version at this point. I guess one of two main themes they can make it about (destruction of global culture via the melting pot of America) they touched on here, and, as demonstrated in a video by La'Ron Readus (https://youtu.be/9rJt6SeZfC0?si=kUC3A6gm9ysN8Q60), Get Out pretty much ending up tackling that already. Check his video and his channel out!

The other theme I can think of is climate change, but they even implied that here too. How much you want to bet their "dying world" died because of them? That they spent 100% of their energy surviving, they didn't stop and think about the actual big picture of the world they live on? The common perspective on logic vs emotion is that emotion is dumber, and more chaotic and hurtful then logic, but I liked to think of it as a gut instinct about the world around you that, even though you have no proof, can warrant analysis and investigation. That can at least help your psyche, and at most get a new angle on an issue you and everyone else takes for granted but can gain more. Logic is a tool, not the end.

Ending this by getting back to my opening joke metaphor, I'm hoping that it's more I'm nodding off and my duplicate is still a work in progress that can still be stopped. Part of the reason why I write, as well as just watch horror movies in general, is my effort to not become like them. It's helping a bit for now, but I think in the near future, I'll have to do more.

You Might Be The Killer (2018) This was kind of a funny idea. A slasher having a confidant to try and work out how he got to this point. Along with what I think was a subversion of a Final Girl. They kept expecting it from a supposed pure person, but is instead one that is a little too comfortable killing people, even takes to being the new killer more then the previous host. But yeah, they didn't do enough with this to justify feature-length. Honestly, a normal person brainwashed into a slasher, old family curses, the "hero" actually might being the real villain; the Fear Street Trilogy handled alot of the same stuff here, and frankly, better.

Spree aka the most Zoomer slasher ever. That's not an insult, either of zoomers or the movie. It's effectively in the same family as movies like Taxi Driver and American Psycho but with Tiktok lingo. That sound like a bad cut and paste job, but a good cut and paste job, like this one is, proves that really, all these new developments in technology and social connections have done nothing to solve societal problems that have been with us for generations. Scary and sad, but if it's true, it's true. This was uncomfortable in a good way for the most part, pretty impressive for a premise that could've been so in a bad way (besides all the secondhand embarrassment I felt with our villain protagonist). This movie's essentially about a spree shooter, so I don't think it's an accident he (mostly) doesn't use a gun. When he does, it's saved for near the end and a moment that's the final nail in the coffin for him being actually sympathetic.

Given that I'm talking about a movie about social media ON social media, I have to reflect a bit on it. I'm not looking for loads of followers. Sure, there was a time where I thought it was something amazing, when I joined Facebook for the first time. Until I realized that, even though I went to high school with all those my first few accepted friend requests, I had nothing of substance to talk about with them. So now, I'm either trying to find people with common interests, (especially in my area) or trying to express my honest thoughts on a subject I can engage in good faith about. Besides monetary reasons, I never understood being obsessed with having the most subscribers or views. I guess they're looking for fans rather then friends. Like I said with Pearl, it's a pursuit that is over before it's started if you can't find people who want to see it. When it comes down to it, I'd rather make connections with only a few people rather than a chat filled with gremlins. Showbiz is only worth it if you have something to show, not just something you think you want.

Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel The original was one of the most unsettling found footage films I have ever seen, with a fairly original set up and one of the creepiest clowns ever, mostly because it took the less is more approach. This one got rid of one of those; padding it out with so many people we supposed to believe are stupid enough to enter a haunted house with a confirmed body count! Even the scares felt less diverse; a lot of ghost woman with the same eye contacts.

Eh, to be fair, it's still unsettling, thanks to them using the same set. Sure, the last scene wasn't scary, but hey, it was near the end so they could get away with it, and Tully still pretty much won so...

The Sadness It's either Mayhem, but more larger scale and darker or the Crazies remake but bloodier and with a darker ending. I knew things wouldn't end well for the main couple just from how lovey-dovey the first few scenes were, but it was actually bleaker than I expected. I expected them either one of them to die or both to die and they'd all be real sad about it. I didn't expect one, if not both of them to get infected, and when they died, neither of them were giving a shit about the other. Yikes.

Also, I knew I was warned about the content going in, but I didn't have a reaction to it. I'm weird that way, I guess. I'm warned that this and Crimes of the Future were too intense, and I just shrug it off. But Malignant for some reason, gets me light-headed? Maybe it's more I can't stand hospitals, at least in movies.

The Babysitter (2017) This was super goofy, though a bit too pop culture heavy. I could've done with a bit more satanism, either more rituals or an actual demon. Also, move aside Home Alone; this the real Die Hard with a kid. Yeah, Samara Weaving's charisma is apparent even this early ( and really funny she's in a movie about two years later that has a similar premise but with her on the other side), but my favorite cultist is actually Max. I always liked seeing this himbo henchmen we've been getting the past 20 years or so. The guy who, if he's not trying to kill you at the moment, is actually trying to be your friend. I even been seeing this archetype in anime, so obviously the appeal is close to universal. Though I did find the age appropriate love interest a bit too sickly sweet that it takes me out of it. This was goofy fun, all the same. Maybe I'll get to the sequel one day.

#possession 1981 #invasion of the body snatchers #You might be the Killer #The babysitter 2017 #hell house llc #the sadness #spree 2020

[maroonghoul]

Terror Time 2023!: Days 1 thru 6

Alright! Meant to start a few days ago, but got busy. Here we go!

Dracula: Pages from a Virgin Diary Sometimes, I like starting my annual marathon with one of the many adaptations of Dracula. I was considering the Coppola movie from 1992, but the more I thought about how much I don't like the actual story changes from the book in that one, despite the title. (Mostly how it treats the female characters), I switched it with this one. Turns out those themes were here too, but unlike with the other movie, at least it was made by a director who admits he's doing something different with Dracula, and not claiming he's doing the definitive version only to not do so. That was interpretation. This is almost a parody, what with the opening montage nailing the uncomfortable themes of the original, and the Count literally seducing people with all his (stolen) money!

If any horror story lends itself to ballet, Dracula naturally makes the most sense. I'm only surprised to not hear at least a little nod to Swan Lake in there. I don't know if it's a rights thing or it would've been distracting, but oh well.

Telling the story out of order like this is pretty interesting. Introduces the vampirism more gradually and saves Transylvania, arguably the best part of the story, for the middle. Bit of a shock that this version rushes through that, but I guess you couldn't justify dancing while looking over legal documents.

But yeah, surprisingly this does make a better argument for why Dracula might be the real good guy better then Coppola's did. Maybe because the light dialogue leaves a lot more open, but it can be argued what's done with Mina and Lucy is either more consensual or more due to the normal men's biased outlook. They only think their nightmares are over by the end. But history can show it has only begun. Once you've had a taste of Chinese ballet dancing Dracula, you can't really go back.

Body Bags (1993) This theming on this one's a bit weird. Stories one and three are about serial killers, and two and three are about surgical implants gone wrong. You would think that if these themes weren't there, or one was present in all three (besides of course, at least one person has to die to fit the framing device). I mean, at least the nature of the horror is a bit different each one. First one's a slasher, second one is sci-fi with aliens it turns out, and the third is supernatural in the form of possession. But, from what heard is right, these segments really were the only one's from this rejected TV show that worked. the framing device is fun, even though it's surreal to see John Carpenter on screen for once. as for the stories themselves;

The Gas Station these places are scary enough to be at for long amount of times even without the crazed killer. I relate too much to that whole bit with the keys. Last note is slasher settings usually are one of two types; either the character is invading area the slasher is more familiar with or vice versa. Kudos to this one for making us think it's the second one while it's more of the former. Also, yay Sam Raimi cameo!

Hair Easily the least effective, but it at least makes me feel better about losing my own hair. Though that jazz music is really out of place. Just does not work.

Eye I think I saw this remade in the second V/H/S movie. But at least why it's scary is a bit different each time. Also, the inciting incident makes me like to pretend it's Dr. Strange's origin gone even more horribly wrong. I get why it's making him see visions of the dead killer's life, but does it possess by infecting his bloodstream or something? I feel bad for his wife and I also feel bad he ever got to play one last time when he felt like he had hope again. I guess they didn't have enough money to film at an actual baseball stadium.

The Blackcoat's Daughter The slowest burn of a horror movie I think I've ever seen since the Invitation. I didn't have any clue as to what the threat was until she called that nun the c-word. That kinda gave away the whole game, especially funny considering what I rewatched a few days later, as you can see. But yeah, once you see exactly where it's been leading up to, it sticks with you. The second part does too. Like the darkest possible Exorcist sequel you could've gotten without including a demon. Just goes to show rehabilitation and therapy are just as, if not more, crucial to get right as the actual saving.

Night of the Living Dead 1990 I haven't seen the original in about 14 years, so I can't do much to compare the two. Most of what it does different is cool, especially where the first zombie comes from. Other parts were making them more consistent with established zombie lore, but I'll still miss that trowel kill. There's still not as many zombies as most films that came after this one, but these are actually some of the scariest looking zombies I've seen in a while. I would've liked if just a little bit more of it was set at night, though.

How it changes the characters is a bit of a mixed bag. Yes, it's cool to Barbara a lot more competent. And I even liked how her arc to be tougher and less of a "helpless woman" has just led her to a world filled with toxic masculinity. That bit actually aged well. Less so what happened to Ben, though that's not Tony Todd's fault. Mostly how they changed his death. Sure, it meant they shifted his original death to Cooper who deserves it more, but sadly the original still resonates more in our world.

So yeah, an effective update of the story for the 80s/90s. But not too much for now.

The Exorcist I'm still on the fence over whether I'm going to see the new one. Luckily, this anniversary screening can tide me over.

Watching this now, I think a big reason why it's easy to consider this the greatest horror movie of all time (not the scariest movie of all time. That's different), is that most of it's scenes feel like a film rather than a movie. That might seem like a weird distinction, but it's the best to describe it. Friedkin pretty much directed every Regan-less scene so realistically and down to earth, more so then even in the most mature and sophisticated horror films made today. I know that sounds like an insult, but it's because those films go heavy on the atmosphere. Here there is none for the most part. Only character.

Of course, that changes with Pazuzu itself. I get the feeling most films, back and then or today, horror or otherwise, would either make it more ambiguous or more arthouse. This kind of performance you expect to see in more campy horror movies that aim for the cheap seats, but it's here in a movie with very down to earth 1970s filmmaking. Sure, it's laughed at now because we're all familiar at it or we're just in shock. (Or there are actually a lot of non-possessed kids who act like this), but I think that juxtaposition is why it's still leaves as big as an impact as it does.

You do it all subdued, people just look at the film as art. You do it like cheap shockfest, no one but the established horror fans will pay attention to it. But here, the world actually feels normal, and Pazuzu is made as urgent a threat as humanly possible to it. Hell, you can argue Linda Blair's, and Mercedes McCambridge performances being cranked up to 11 compared to everyone else works so well, because it's literally a different species pretty much.

Sure, a lot of horror is about the nasty surprises the world turned out to have had all along. But the first part of that is a clear idea of what we thought the real world is before it's upended like this. A lot of horror movies play like we feel like we're observing theses events from outside. That can be played with brilliantly, but I do feel the best one's are the ones who place as close to the level the characters are when experiencing. The Exorcist is one of the best films to have done that, so that's why I think it has landed as so many lists of the best Horror films of all time.

I leave what it says about faith, demons, and the belief in god to those more knowledgable in such subjects then I am.

Crimes of the Future Not really a horror movie, at least not to the extent The Fly, VideoDrome, or even the Dead Zone is. But it's definitely a Cronenberg movie.

I missed the bioengineered technology, even though no company today would make such things. But outside of that, I was expecting more of this to make me feel sick or at least wince. But most of the gross stuff is biopsies or body piercings taken to the next level. Not exactly Jeff Goldblum losing body parts one at a time, but considering what I think the point of this story is, I think it's intentional.

I relate so much to Saul at the start of this, considering I came down with some really bad acid reflux earlier this year. I'm not sure his solution is right for me, metaphorically speaking. But maybe I need to apply it to something else in me. Cronenberg for so long made films about the worse things that can happen to the human body. Maybe the reason he took a break from that until now, is he got a lot of time and step back, think, reflect, and maybe made peace with a subject that is still very much considered his oeuvre. The moral of the story; learn to get comfortable in your own skin. Or accept what makes it different from what society tells you it should be. Learn to live and make peace, even if it means you won't fit in.

Extra point here; I think I understood why Disney timed it so the Ahsoka season finale came out in October. It's the episode where they're fighting space witches controlling ZOMBIE STORM TROOPERS! Rad!

Until next time...

#Body Bags 1993 #the blackcoat's daughter #Night of the Living Dead 1990 #the exorcist #crimes of the future #Dracula pages from a Virgin Diary

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movies I watched: September 2023

Final bunch until I start my real big annual marathon! Here we go!

Night of the Demon (1957) So this is where the plots we've seen popularized in ones the Wicker Man and Drag Me to Hell came from. Personally, I prefer those, but probably because they were made in a time audiences could handle the leading man losing. Most of this movie is this smug know-it-all jackass mocking people for their religious beliefs pretty much. I'll admit, his final gambit to switch the curse back onto the main villain was a maneuver that would make Columbo proud. Though I still don't know what Karswell's whole plan outside of his demon hitman was.

Speaking of which, as iconic as that design is, it hasn't aged too well. The far away shot is the stiffest puppet ever seen, and even the closeup shot is...honestly, adorable. The most effective shot of it is near the end when it's tearing apart it's last victim. The claws not withstanding, it's head is in darkness with it's eyes glowing and you actually see the tearing even from a distance.

Though that was probably the key to it being one of the more effective horror films of the decade. Most times, the monster has to die or reveal to be secretly good. This is a demon, with no good bone in it's body, and it "gets away". Sure, the only real punishment it could've gotten is being chased away by a priest or an angel or such, but even that doesn't happen here. The devil is real. Demons are real. We might've escaped them this time. But by our own wit, not God's. If He is even real.

Side note, if I knew there was a Halloween party in this, I would've waited. Eh, close enough.

Christine (1983) It's surreal watching this after Halloween Ends. Sure, I think I've seen reviews saying that movie felt more like a remake of this movie plotwise. But now I see what they mean. Granted, the themes were handled with a bit more nuance in that film. I don't know; it's weird seeing a sequel to John Carpenter's most famous movie is used as a "backdoor remake" for one of his lesser known ones. It's at least a more interesting idea to handle a Halloween movie then a lot of the previous ones.

As for this movie; I never liked the 1950s. Even before and without knowing the awful political, racist, sexist shite that happened during it, I thought the aesthetics associated with it (cars, fashion, music, attitude, etc.) were the ugliest of any decade in the 20th century. Good ole days, my ass! The amount of similarities and homages to it in the 1980s were strikes against that decade too for me, in a weird guilt-by-association way. So it's oddly comforting that during a time where people, all the way up to the white house, were thinking "boy, don't you wish we could go back to such a time?", Both Carpenter and Stephen King made works that were responses in the fashion of "No! What are you, crazy?!"

But yeah, this does feel to me one of Carpenter's lesser efforts, not surprising since he practically saw it as a work for hire. It's a pretty typical King story, given a Carpenter coat of paint. I wonder if King gave him shit for being the second director of one of his adaptations that didn't redeem it's main character at the end. You wouldn't think the directors of book adaptations would make them more cynical then the produced-for-less-people source material.

Relic (2020) This film needs to be studied. by film scholars and then by students in film schools. It established a threat, a horror, that is unique to this movie, but you can follow what it's supposed to symbolize, and get a good handle on what it's doing in-universe to the grandmother. All without a single line of dialogue of exposition!

I really am so tired of films expecting to explain every weird thing in it, that I'm starting to love it whenever one just trusts you enough to get it and not raise arms about the small details that don't actually make or break a story. This is why the past few years have been seen as a golden age of the genre. It trusts us.

Another sidebar. Houses that turn into a magical maze that keeps you trapped might be one of my new fascinations. Simple, but super effective. I've seen it before in Grave Encounters, I heard it's in House of Leaves, which is on my reading list. It doesn't scare me, but I find oddly captivating. Got to try and figure out why.

Crawl (2019) If I covered Alligator, I'm going to have to cover this one. Though there's not much to say. A half hour of building mystery and tension, then once the gators literally explode onto screen, it's about surviving them and surviving them only and then credits. Not sure those many regular gators would have that strong a hankering for human flesh but whatever. Credit where credit's due, this movie made me jump the most out of any in recent memory. So it pretty much succeeded in it's main mission. Also, happy the dog made it, but it must've been miserable being wet for like 90% of the shoot.

Swallow (2019) Well this is new; body horror being the lesser of two evils. Hell of a pro choice message; "I'd literally feel safer putting anything else in my body". Many uncomfortable moments throughout, not all of them involving what she put in her mouth (though that freaking push pin!). Honestly, it's great to see a movie commits to that even the most egregious of supposed attention-seeking self harm is a symptom of a much larger problem. And that a film can be feminist and violent while actually looking pretty feminine. Though you probably all know that. We've all seen Barbie at this point.

I'm also watching Hot Fuzz. I'm not going to count it but I am watching Shaun of the Dead next month so I might mention it there.

Next month is the big one. Wish me luck and stay safe!

#christine 1983 #Relic 2020 #Crawl 2019 #curse of the demon #swallow 2019

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movies I watched: August 2023

Bodies Bodies Bodies Well, if Rian Johnson had a plan to make the next Benoit Blanc mystery a take on And Then There Were None, he might as well scrap it now.

I'm sorta in the middle of an Agatha Christie kick, so this was extra fun, even though, mild spoilers, it almost plays like a deconstruction of her mysteries. Also, despite having a young cast with a somewhat similar premise, this movie also plays like the Anti-Scream. In that franchise, we follow a group of friends; one coming in with baggage and the others gaining them the longer they survive. Only to find whatever problems they're dealing with this time is "solved" by removing the bad apples of the group when they reveal themselves. That might be why the first one, and the fourth one to a lesser extent, are still considered the scariest; the culprits there are someone Sidney knows longer then in any of the other movies, so the betrayal hits harder. That might sound like a slam, but to be fair, a reason why Scream had such a great track record on this is that it's killers are, more often then not, a different variety of compellingly written privileged assholes and all the returning cast are portrayed likable enough for us to consider them good people.

But here, it's not so simple. The good friends don't outnumber the bad this time. Heck, the two newcomers you can make the argument are the only ones who come the closest to being innocent by a wide margin. All the trauma and hurt this group has concocted up until the events of the movie were not gonna go away by ousting the worst one. (They even literally tried that and it didn't stop anything). The best solution would've been to dissolve this friend group completely, at least for a while, but that was not on the table.

Getting back to the Christie comparisons; sure in her stories, everyone has a secret and somewhat of a reason to kill, but once the one who finally acted on that is revealed, everyone else spontaneously gets a happy ending, regardless of all previous deaths. Granted, And Then There Were None's original ending was an exception, but in a strange way, revealing the mastermind to the audience at least left them leaving satisfied regardless of everything else.

But here, once again, these characters don't even get that. It's bad enough they don't have a Benoit Blanc, Hercule Poirot type to make this easier for them (Though I would love to see what an earnest Gen Z version of that archetype would be). To make it worse, all of them are actively trying to be that, but failing miserably because they're all, except Bee,

1. coked up

2. paranoid

3. inexperienced

4. sick of their friends

5. did I mention coked up?

With the final killer reveal being a textbook example of being completely satisfactory by being completely unsatisfactory. The grand reveal was anything but. Actual parodies of this genre wish they could've nailed this.

You would think with how I described all this, I would hate this move or think less of the murder mystery type stories it's mocking, but far from it. It's not my new favorite movie, but I'm glad I saw it. Sure, there's a lot of skewering Gen Z, but I could argue you could've told this story with any generation, with a few tweaks. It's because it's main point is, well, the cozy locked room mystery unfolding in today's world would not be nearly as neat as Christie made it look. It could be fun, but it's not a solution to all your problems. If anything, it's the exact opposite because, well people you know are dying. And it's even worse when reality ensues.

It's a good deconstruction. Though that doesn't mean it should be the end of the genre. It's something the genre can build up from and consider. Maybe either discourage from getting too realistic or to do so with a point.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter Like Haunted Mansion, this is another horror film that's not fit to release in Summer! Sure, it's release date is close to when these events took place in the novel (August), but given the tone it went for, closer to Autumn would've felt appropriate.

Here's a tangent. I know I watch horror movies all year long and my enjoyment of each of them doesn't hinge too much on what time of year. But I have a theory that certain types of horror movies do well or are more successful depending on what time of year are released in conjunction to what type of movie they are. From what I observe, I would think the type of horror movies that do well in the summer evoke more summer imagery, like outdoor recreation, wilderness, lighter tone. Jaws and any of the Friday the 13th movies are a good example. This movie, while set mostly at the sea, has a far darker tone than anything considered fun, especially when compared to what the layman would think they'd get from "Dracula on a boat".

And sure, while going goofier like Renfield might've helped it's mass appeal, I appreciated that it honed more to the book's dour doomed tone. (And besides, we already got Renfield this year, so our bases are covered).

The ending's a bit weird. On one hand, I'm weirdly glad it didn't pull as many punches as to who would make it and who wouldn't as I thought they would. On the other, I'm not sure how the character who survives would factor into the next chapter of the story if at all. Would he take another characters place? Get killed off within 5 minutes? We divulge from the book even more? Then again, that's assuming there was ever a sequel in mind here, box office results be damned. So even my problem here isn't even an actual problem.

It's a simple fact that in the original, Dracula was not a sexy seductor with a silver tongue, but more of the creeper in the back you don't see most of the time. In a weird way, nakedness aside, this might be the most true to the book version of the character I have ever seen. Honestly, it's to the point where, while I'm fine with sympathetic, human vampires depicted in movies, I kinda want, if are more depictions of Dracula the character, more versions of him where he's the exception to that again; an unsexy, perverted, entitled, bastard. The type of vampire no other vampire would want to associate with, because they think he's a creep. Like I said, cover all our bases.

Wrong Turn (2021) I haven't seen any of the other movies in this franchise. It never really looked like my thing. Still, I heard good things about this one so I was curious.

As an avid nature walk visitor, this is pretty much my worst nightmare about what would happen if I ever leave the trail. Booby traps, Territorial cults, regressing to a more animalistic state; it's all here.

I'm not sure about it's attempt at class commentary; only one of the city folk comes off like an asshole, and only one of the mountain cultists, any who's not an extra, seems to not be evil. And the former is the white guy and the latter is the little girl, i.e. the exact one's you'd expect. I preferred how Pumkinhead handled this myself. Not only was the inciting incident a bit more morally grey in that it was an accident, but it was clear even some of the mountain folk in that one thought the retaliation went too far, even if they couldn't do anything.

It's a shame that the part where Matthew Modine being guided through the mountains by those two guides was so short. I would've loved a whole movie if that was our main plot. It was a bit refreshing.

Pearl Toldja I was planning to watch this after X last year.

First off, Man I miss saturated colors in film. It easily makes any shot look more visually interesting, even when it contains the most mundane things. Sure, it shows up in a lot of recent films I watched, but usually in films also set in dark place, so there's a lot of black too. Yeah yah, makes what color is there pops, but I missed when more then half the screen popped. Course I guess that makes me a sucker, because that makes when this film gets grosser as it goes along even worse. Now you can see every maggot on that pig!

If you put this on after X, without knowing exactly what type of horror movie it was going to be, what you expect? Another slasher? But that only really made sense because the previous movie was made in the style of the kind of horror movie fit for that setting. That would be out of place in this WW2 setting. Supernatural? Could fit, if you took hints from Dracula or Frankenstein (the latter one you can argue it sorta did, but it clearly wasn't the main inspiration). But a supernatural element wouldn't have added to the themes Ti West was tackling. Going for 1918 specifically could seem arbitrary, aside from a reason why all the extras had to have masks. But of course, once the audition started being a plot point along with the scarecrow scene, made it clear what West and Goth had in mind for this film alone, and not just as part of the trilogy as a whole.

Not only was the a complete dark inverse of the Wizard of Oz and psychological horror structurally like May or Taxi Driver, it's a sad commentary that even when filmmaking was new, when Hollywood was just starting up, the myth so many young folk, especially women, believed over the decades that if they could make it into movies, all their problems would be over. The movie offers the horrible idea that none of these dreams never had a chance, no matter the time, not even when Hollywood was new. Even before the idea of a "Star" was a thing or a gimmick, men like the ones holding this audition was looking for their idea of one rather than actually help someone become one. This wasn't a good dream gone bad; it was always been a con. There's never been anything over the rainbow.

I have more to say, but I think I'll save it for MaXXXine when that comes out, so I can say it about the trilogy as a whole. Of course, now the question is what kind a movie would that be. As affecting as this was, is it strange to say I'll be a little disappointed if it was just this movie again, but in the 80s? I don't think West and Goth would've made a trilogy if it that's all that would happen.

Well, that's all for now. We're now pretty much in spooky season, so my yearly marathon is coming up real soon. It's going to be exciting!

#the last voyage of the demeter #wrong turn #pearl 2022 #Bodies Bodies Bodies #support the wga

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movies I just watched: July 2023

Independence Day I know, this doesn't count on paper. But a 90s big budget pastiche of War of the Worlds or Earth vs the Flying Saucers is still a pastiche of the type of movie that fit right in with a classic monster movie marathon. Besides, for anyone who says this isn't like a horror movie at all, I have two words for you; "Release me..."

Anyways, yeah there's not even anything I can say about this that hasn't already been said. Right around when this movie came out and was then syndicated on TV every 4th of July, My 7 year old mind thought it was the most intense movie ever. Nowadays, it feels optimistic to a fault, at least when it comes to humanity's capability and willingness to be our best selves and actually work together. It's become more hard to believe then any of the actual plot holes. (though good luck creating a virus that can infect computers more advanced then ours today even) Now it kinda holds up today for different reasons. Will Smith becoming a megastar from this movie remains entirely justified. Classic Goldblum performance. Melodrama that actually works for the stakes we're playing with. It's become comfort food. With a side of mass genocide and some cultural stereotypes. (And yet I've still seen worse in films like this).

I haven't seen the sequel and from what I've heard, I'm not missing much.

Nanny(2022) This movie, at different points, felt like a cross between His House, Jacob's Ladder, and even The Orphanage. If I can't speak for anything else in this movie, feeling it drew inspirations from multiple different films make it solid in my book.

I will add, while it could've gone the Get Out route as we could've expected (and it so easily could've) of making the white employers the source of the supernatural horror, it was refreshing that it went against that. Sure, the terrible reveal at the end is still pretty much their fault by delaying paying Aisha so many times, it is something caused by mundane means, at least as far as we know. White people are terrifying enough in a realistic setting, with the horrid status imbalance with the characters (and in general). Giving them a ghost or demon or something to foist upon people when it's not needed can be a bit too complimentary.

The Black Phone I originally wasn't going to watch this because Ethan Hawke's serial killer villain came off too much "gay coded" to me, especially uncomfortable when you take into account all his victims are young boys. I did read an article almost a year ago from someone who identified as lgbtqia+ (I don't remember as what though, seriously I can't find it again so I can't credit it. I am so sorry!), who had similar reservations but then saw it eventually only to realize this choice was based much more on the character being a stage magician and is not sexually motivated in his killings at all. But you could make the argument that it was that easy to mistake it for gay slander at all is a strike against the filmmakers. Please don't be this obtuse next time when it comes to marketing your movie.

Even that put aside, I'm sad to say I didn't get much from this. Want to see The Silence of the Lambs where instead of Clarice and Hannibal, it's a foul mouth little girl talking to Jesus about how she sees the dead zone? Okay, that isn't fair because Gwen is honestly the most entertaining character. Plus it's less glorifying the police department. But I couldn't bring myself to care about Finn because I felt his circumstances throughout felt, oddly enough, too clean. Not to mention, how his scenes imprisoned by the Grabber compared to Katherine in Lambs. Even when you don't know how ready Buffalo Bill is to kill her, you feel urgency just from how miserable she looked and acted in those scenes. Not to mention, a well is way more claustrophobic and scary then a basement that's frankly bigger then my own bedroom.

I've heard this described as, despite the R rating, to be more of a kids gateway horror film when it comes to this subject matter. And yeah, strangely enough that actually would make a lot of sense. I'm just used to the more graphic stuff it seems.

Haunted Mansion Good ole' goofy haunted house movie for the whole family. Sounds like a joke, but it's true and I mean it as a compliment. I know some people would want this to be more intense, considering that the ride is arguably the darkest product ever created by the Disney company. But remember, guys? It's Disney! I'm surprised Constance was allowed in at all. Though I did miss the Ghost Host's hanging body. Bonus points though, for the theme of grief making it hard to keep on living so while you need to grow from it, it's natural if you don't want to move on from your pain yet. Sometimes living, or haunting, in a haunted mansion for a while could be where you need yourself to be.

There are really only two problems. First, the Morbius-shaped elephant in the room. Though given how much CGI he's under the whole time (aside from a few photographs, we never see his actual face), he honestly could've been played by anyone. Hell, get an old character actor known for horror in his place instead. Sure, it's less "star power" (if you could call it that), but you probably could spare some expense in making him spooky and wouldn't have scared off some people rightfully turned off from seeing the a hole anyway.

Speaking of more or less people seeing this, that's the other problem. Others on here have pointed it out and I will too. Why was this being in July?! I don't even need to tell this is going to flop, just from looking at Barbie's numbers, plus the Ninja Turtles. If any movie released this year was made for October, it's this one, not the Exorcist sequel. Even if they didn't have faith in it, they're more likely to get the most amount of money back for it in a time people are willing to watch something spooky in theaters, especially if they have kids who can't stomach Saw X or the Exorcist: Believer.

But I think some of us know why they did it. A lot of these studios, including Disney, are willing to jump the gun to release a movie to streaming once it's clear it's not doing well in theaters. The excuse they'll probably use is that they'll release it to Disney+ just in time so you can play it in the background when the kids come back from trick-or-treating. And granted, it is a film just fine for playing for that purpose.

But no! It's likely the actual reason is to screw the filmmakers, particularly the writers and actors, out of money they would get from this because they're striking right now. So yeah, I want to end this month's post by saying I support both strikes; I think the guild's are entirely in their rights with their demands and I hope they get everything. No one, no matter what their chosen profession or industry, deserves to make less of what is needed to make a living, just so some billionaire who's only contribution to the storytelling process is to move money, can have a yacht. Don't tell me you can't get the metrics on how many people watch the content in your streaming service. Or that it's ethical to use AI to replace a human performance you could've gotten anyway if you actually accommodate for other human beings.

#id4 #the black phone #haunted mansion #nanny 2022 #wga solidarity #sag aftra

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movies I just watched: June 2023

I only have two movies this time, though one’s an anthology.

Knife+Heart I chose this one for pride month. Good choice too, because I can confirm this easily the gayest slasher/giallo movie I’ve ever seen, for content alone. Seriously, all the sexual subtext in all other slasher movies ever made is just TEXT here. I’m not sure I can ever go back. Every film from here on in I’m going to think the filmmakers are cowards for not letting at least one victim die by dildo. 

But, in all seriousness, I think I got what they were going for in the killer’s motive. Not just that he found their previous film triggering, but it would’ve been easy to have the killer be just a bigot, some closeted self-hating gay, or (god help us) someone taking revenge because gay people killed his parents or something stupid like that.

What we have is a person scarred and traumatized in a situation similar and common to sadly, a large number of people, especially in the LGBTQIA+ demographic. What’s twisted is that it is so common that a lot of people this has happened too or came close to it happening too all react and process it in very different ways. (I think it’s common in the movie, not that they heard about this incident already. That’s the theory I took away from this) You would find people who think back on their parent having a violent reaction to them being secretly gay and can make peace with it through a light porn film. Not because they’re a sociopath or weak-willed. But because anything more connected to harsh reality (and lacking any sexual release or expression) might make them run from it and impede development. 

But the characters in the film were so comfortable in that shared viewpoint bubble of this specific trauma they forgot there could be someone with a very justifiable alternative outlook on it, so they’ve become another tormentor to him. So now, one member of the community attacks other in it because he was feeling excluded, and rather impersonally to boot. Which makes the circumstances that finally did get him killed the final tragic icing on the sad cake. Other gay men lashing out on him in self defense, just as he thought he was doing throughout the story.

This was probably the smartest and most genuinely tragic reveal for a motivation they could have gone with. So kudos for that.

Also, makes this a weirdly good double feature with Across the Spiderverse, of all things. I know that sound crazy, but they’re both movies about an individual being excluded to from a group of people he’s connected with because of strife over what’s the appropriate amount of trauma for them. Just a shower thought.

Holidays (2016) I was waiting for the best day to watch this, so I chose Father’s Day both because I was having trouble coming up with one for that day otherwise and I head that segment was one of the better ones. Was it? Well...

Valentine’s Day Carrie if it was less Stephen King and more Tales from the Crypt. This one just left me with questions though. Were they picking on her for the same reasons as with Carrie White, hence “Maxi Pad”? The hell’s her home life like where she can just go from bullied to murdering for love like that? Does she even know if the bully’s heart is compatible with her coach? I feel like this is a reason why Carrie wasn’t a short story or why most revenge stories of this length are a touch less complicated then this. This just felt messy to me.

St. Patrick’s Day Well, if you had to do a horror movie St Patty’s Day themed without the obvious choice, killer leprechaun, something that calls back to the roots of the holiday make sense. Not entirely sure what this woman did to deserve this, but hey, fae folk follow their own rules like that. I kinda liked that she was either in denial or past caring that her baby is a snake monster, she just wants a child damnit. She certainly seemed past caring at the end. Maybe if the first half was as exaggerated as the end, I would’ve liked it more. 

Easter Another that left me with questions, though I think that’s the idea. This bunny monster is such a weird gross sacrilegious thing, I’m surprised that wasn’t more of an uproar about it. Though I guess it’s point is that it’s more supposedly child-friendly side makes Easter one of the weirdest holidays we got. I’m never going get Easter Jesus Bunny Monster’s Oh face from his side scar being fingered out of my head for a while.

Mother’s Day This was where I started to fall asleep. Good thing this is the type of movie you can watch in chunks. This one has a lot in common with the St. Patty’s day one, and none of that is in it’s favor. Woman is hyper fertile so she goes to folk hippie wellness compound who try to heal her and instead make her give birth to an abomination. And all I’m left thinking is; Why? I thought shortness was about getting to the point, not cutting the point out.

Father’s Day This has probably the best build up of any of these, even if the ending is weak. I liked the premise of the main character’s dad leaving her a record detailing step by step where she can find him again. Understandable motive for our lead combined with tension that builds literally step by step. I find it a bit weird where he took her the exact same route when she was little and he just focusing on recording the whole time like a jerk instead of just focusing on her daughter. I guess the idea was that her in the present would find all this familiar so it’s be easier to soldier on. Though wouldn’t it make more sense he just sent her a message saying “remember when I took you to X?” and we actually have the same journey being played twice? One what we actually saw and the other’s a flashback showing the two of them going down this, comparing and contrasting the two settings? And at the end? Aliens? This open-endedness is getting on my nerves. I got that deadbeat dads aren’t worth it, I just wanted to know why this one wasn’t precisely. It feels like a half baked metaphor.

Halloween This was the most forced of the theming. It’s one of those times I have more issues with the style then the substance. Yeah yeah, three women plotting against a man is like witches. But I would’ve preferred either actual supernatural witching stuff or hey, given the set up, go all in on ripping off Saw. Weird how the a-hole customer that started this got off easy, but hey, f the pimp too. Maybe the way I’d do it is to cut the beginning, start with him waking up with the dildo in  his ass, and the extra time is spent them disposing the body. And hey, given the holiday, make it so it’s in one of those decoration displays. I don’t know why the segment attributed to the actual spooky holiday is the least spooky of them, but I guess they were going for subverting expectations. 

Christmas So this is as close to us getting Seth Green in a Black Mirror episode. Still, it’s a good little character study in to what the people closest to us would do if they could get away with it, even if the technology is quite fantastical. I even liked the ambiguity of the ending, even it personally I would’ve twisted the knife more and shown her walk in acting possibly normal and him being skittish. But maybe I’m just stretching now.

New Year’s Another one where my only problem is that it ended too soon. Incel serial killer finally meeting his end, getting a taste of his own medicine by his female counterpart. That’s a fun twist but the structure is weird to me. We see him kill, go on another date, prepare to kill again, see that she’s a killer, then they fight until he loses and dies. Not bad, but it would’ve hit me more where the twist came later and she surprised him without a fight. Or they realized they’re very similar, hook up for real, but now literally slay together? Or hell, keep the fight, but go full on looney tunes cartoon about it tone wise so the gun having no bullet hits more?

I just found that the style of filmmaking of these segments don’t work for me. Sure, I could cut them slack because it was clear they didn’t have a lot of money. But I didn’t even believe most of them used it well. It feels like a lot of them don’t know what to keep in and what to leave out. And the pacing in each is way off in different ways. They’re short so I’m not stuck with them long, but but I feel a few minutes fleshing out the things I mentioned in each of them could’ve made them stronger. This was rough.

#knife + heart #holidays 2016

[maroonghoul]

Cozy Horror?

I've been hearing this above term recently plus some of the blowback against it. I'm one of those who doesn't care for it, but it doesn't make me angry like how I am with "Elevated Horror". I'm more confused. It's like every term I hear to define it, I think they're already terms for.

"it has low stakes and is not all that bloody." Oh you mean like gateway Horror or a kid's horror movie?

"It has the aesthetics of a horror movie but is not all that intense" so it's spoopy?

"it reminds me of all the nice things of fall" because it's a horror movie set at fall?

The term itself again feels redundant. As for the attitude of those who championed the term and get angrily defensive? I kind of get it, but I think they're looking at it the wrong way.

I get not finding the more intense or hardcore horror films fun to watch or easy to rewatch. It's typical. But the edgelord a-holes who would apparantly shame someone for not liking harder horror films don't speak for the general horror community. They are just another loud minority. A lot of female fans like horror media that don't invoke coziness at all, and plenty of male fans like the cozier horror films just as much as the non-cozy variety, whatever that is.

People who talk about it see it as a binary. But for me, I see all of Horror as an abyss or cave. That sounds negative, but hear me out. What would be called "Cozy Horror" would be around the edge if not a little bit in. All the other varieties are further in, with something like the French New Extremity as the bottom. (If I'm wrong, I'm not ready to guess what is.).

All of us, casual and superfans alike, are climbing into it all the time. A few just pear over the edge from time to time. The reason I picked an abyss instead of a mountain for this is that with a mountain, there's more of an assumption of either competition or "you're less of a man" if you don't try it. Instead, it's with something a bit more spooky, (heh), and more understandable about not wanting to go down there, if you're afraid of the dark or tight spaces. But because of that, most of us are understanding if others don't want to go far in, even if some of us have been doing it long enough to only feel satisfied going a bit deeper. It's all actually a matter of personal comfort.

If your favorite subgenre of horror is one that gives more deliberate cozy vibes or that's the only one you can stand, that's okay. That's fine. The least I can ask for is similar understanding that what gives me the same comfort is, for example, a bleak future where people who are still underpaid or overworked are force to make first contact with a brutal alien species that uses them more for breeding than food just because their employer only sees dollar signs. Or a bunch of naive college students trip out to the woods ends with their bodies eviscerated and their souls literally torn apart by demons beyond human comprehension who did it just to amuse themselves. Or a selfish abusive family man drags his family to a remote sketchy place in the middle of nowhere only to go crazy because of his lack of foresight and his inability to accept any real responsibility and grow up cause him to be susceptible to a horrible plan involving said family. Or a last of it's kind dinosaur is painfully irradiated to the point it lashes out on any nearby life, regardless if they're victims of the same disaster, only to die in one of the worst possible ways at the hands of a man who destroyed himself as well because he couldn't forget the full horrible implications of all that he found. Or, in the most isolated and inhospitable place on the planet, people deadened to any sort of attachment to each other, are invaded by an organism so alien to them, not can it look like something out of their nightmares, but it can also imitate them to such a degree so as to not only tear their bonds to each other asunder, if any, but can also make one realized how limited the human perception of the natural world, each other, and themselves really is.

I don't know why these make me feel cozy, but they do. Are they cozy to you? They might not be now. But they could be later. Along with much worse.

If the time comes you're ready, I'll wait for you deeper in the cave. We can share a blanket.

#cozy horror #godzilla #the thing 1982

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movie’s I just watched: May 2023

Shorter list this time. Here we go:

Resurrection (2022) I saved this one for Mother’s day because I heard the main character was a Mom. I was a bit afraid it wouldn’t factor into the plot that much, but I was reassured, especially with the final scene.

This is another one, kinda like Censor, where the whole thing might be in the protagonist's head. Where she’s so wound up tight at the beginning that her daughter’s accident only starts the ball rolling in her head some nightmarish fantasy of the worst case scenario. It helps that we never got any confirmation about whether of not Tim Roth’s character was a hallucination or anyone else can see him. Hell, given that we never get a flashback with him and his first lines is him saying he doesn’t recognize her, there’s a disturbing possibility that he is real, but is some poor guy who just looks way too much like her ex and she’s hallucinating everything he said. And that final reveal about the baby actually being inside him is too surreal and supernatural to not have heavy implications if it wasn’t in her head.

Granted, like the best of ambiguous films, the story works regardless if this theory is right or not. The point is, externally or internally, this character is tormented. I feel like the moral of this story is; Girlbossing can only help you in limited ways. When it come to trauma as severe as this, try to find therapy. Though given our culture, she still probably couldn’t. It’s not fair.

Mad God Here was a movie I couldn’t take my eyes off, and I still feel like I missed a few things. That’s how striking the imagery was. I don’t know what I can add to what’s already been said about the themes that others haven’t already. Cycles of violence not solving anything, the de-personification of mass labor, civilizations rising and falling again despite the sacrifices; those are what I can glean. Also, being reminded at various points of Eraserhead, Fallout New Vegas, Metropolis, and Cemetery Man. Probably not even half of that was intentional. 

It just wows me. Any one of the creatures in this could be the centerpiece or high point of any other film. Stop motion really has become a lost art. Sure, we know now a big reason why studios heavily prefer CGI, despite how good it actually looks, is cheaper and faster to make then any other effect. But works like this show that, if you’re actually comfortable letting film take as much time as it needs and use as much money as possible to make it look good (Better there than some executive’s overstuffed salary), you’ll allow a lot more variety in how each film is made and look. Gee, it’s almost like time crunches and trying to save money is actually bad for the product. WhO kNeW?

Scare Me I recognized the male lead, Josh Ruben, from CollegeHumor. And after that, this whole movie, to me, played like an extended Hardly Working sketch. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

I was worried a whole movie mostly about two people (briefly three) telling scary stories, and not actually showing us the stories, would look too cheap. Thankfully, there were some technical flourishes. The performances, including the bits their characters acted out so they’re effectively a performance in a performance, are good even if the stories themselves are hit or miss. 

The first werewolf one is just goofy, but that’s intentional. The Grandpa one is ok, even if it’s a touch ableist at a point. The troll’s a bit fun. And the “deal with the devil” one has a fun payoff. 

What this actually ends up being about, insecure white male (maybe?) getting violent with his more successful female colleague was pretty inevitable given how passive-aggressive they both are. Honestly, that they’re both such a-holes help kept what would be a too uncomfortable situation pretty light. You can mark this as another case of “actor known for comedy taking a serious villain role to show their range” movie, like Robin Williams. This was effective enough here, though I don’t know if it would work for him outside of it. 

Final note (and mild spoiler for two films), can’t help but felt like the mid-credit scene reminded of the very end of the 1982 movie Death Trap. Not sure if that movie was a direct inspiration for this. I saw that for the first time about a month ago so it’s fresh on my mind. Outside of that, this is pretty much a good hang-out horror movie. Especially for fans of the old College Humor.

That’s all for now. I’ll probably have less films to talk about next time, but I’ll try to make up for it in July.

#resurrection 2022 #mad god #scare me

[maroonghoul]

Expansion on my thoughts on: The Evil Dead Franchise

I wanted to expand on my point of view on Evil Dead Rise, since I don’t think I explained myself very well in my last post. This isn’t me saying this franchise is the most personal to me, or saying that this new one is an insult to it, because neither are true. I’m just trying to reflect on why it felt I didn’t engage as much as previous entries. Everything I’ve written on here is just my subjective opinion, nothing more and that’s not changing now.

I’ll even concede that over time, this one will warm up to me as much as the others ones. I think it’s possible...because I had to do the same for Evil Dead 2. When I first saw it, about 15 years ago or so, I didn’t know what to make of it.  Sure the wacky tone was fun. But I was taken out of it by the fact that this man was literally being tormented by his murdered girlfriend’s corpse. I felt this was because I was relatively new to horror films to that point, so “having fun with it” felt like like an alien concept given the subject matter. It wasn’t really my gateway horror film. I can think of a few more accurate examples, most notable the original Predator. And sure, I was tricked by my parents to rent Gremlins when I was little thinking it was another kids film. I DID NOT enjoy it at that time, for obvious reasons. But Evil Dead 2, after I sampled a couple more with a lot more serious tone, had a playfulness that felt like a good anchor to came back to. 

It helped me worked up the courage to watch the original, which I avoided until my last year of undergrad, because I heard it was so intense. When I did, I could take it. I was more experienced and granted, it showed it’s age with it’s cheapness a bit. But either way, I was able to vibe with it more then if I watched it instead of the sequel. And I believed it was because other horror films I worked up to seeing before it helped me to.

Army of Darkness I liked straightaway, along with Ash VS Evil Dead. Sure, it did some changes to the lore I felt off(The immortal maker of the book, Ruby, being played by a much-easier-on-the-eyes-than-any-deadite Lucy Lawless, for example), but it was consistent with the tone of 2 and 3, and felt like an true continuation of Ash’s story, selfishness and stupidity included. And for the 2013 remake, at the danger of repeating myself, while it wasn’t mind-blowing, I respected for committing to making me wince more than any movie I’ve ever seen. I didn’t even take issue that they had a final girl except the more rare final boy because I believed Mia more than earned the right to survive. Also that Jane Levy gave the best performance in the movie up to that point.

That actually brings me to my first reason here. If we were going by what franchise entries in order of release, the last one before Rises was the TV show. So the next entry having a darker tone again made sense for keeping things fresh. While for me, the last Evil Dead thing I watch before this was the remake, which had a similar tone. So, even though it didn’t make sense, it felt like I was getting more of the same, which wasn’t entirely true. 

To be fair, I did like the new lore connected to the new Necronomicon. I did like the performance given by the mom played by Alyssa Sutherland, both pre and post-possession. You generally don’t need a main villain for this scenario but given the point of this story, it made sense. The subtext of re-connecting with your old family for guidance, only to realize how it’s messed up beyond repair in cycle of abuse so it’s better to cut ties and save who you can. It’s one of those subjects where in a demon-less real world setting, you can see unfolding more or less the same over years instead of hours. The gore was good. Although am I the only one let down that the cheese grater didn’t do more damage to her leg? Maybe that’s the real problem. I’m too much of a cynical asshole.

Yeah, maybe that’s it. 

With the energy and tone this franchise is known for, giving any kind of happy or even bittersweet ending doesn’t feel right. There always felt like a nihilistic reason why each of these movies had their energies and tone. “These people are going to die horribly due to their own stupidity! Ain’t it great?!” I don’t mind if there’s a metaphor or point to the story of an Evil Dead movie. I just think it shouldn’t take less time to solve than Ash did. Not because no one deserves it, but I don’t believe these demons would so easily let anyone go. The happiness, if any admittedly, felt unearned.

I guess that’s my real point. It won’t feel right if this is the last we see of Beth and Kassie. Sure, it made sense to end where it did, but I don’t believe either of them is okay. I want to know more about how they’re holding up. But who knows. Maybe I’d like for them to stumble upon the cabin at the beginning years later. It’d be very interesting to see how Kassie, a kid who was exposed and lost her family to these things at a very young age, would develop psychologically. Would it be similar to Andy from the Child’s Play movies? (That’s a franchise I need to catch up on) And yeah, maybe all these survivors, including Ash, should meet up at some point. Or at least become aware of each other’s existence. I don’t want any of them to die (unless it’s written well). Death is cheap, but trauma is rich. 

A big reason why rewatching one of these movies every October for me is a must is because they each feel like a fun ride through a haunted house. I did like this enough, I’ll add it to the rotation. Maybe, in a few years, I’ll soften on this one like I did Evil Dead 2. It’s funny how I didn’t like that one at first because I thought it was too mean and not taking itself seriously. Now, I’m saying this one’s my least favorite because it’s too “precious” and serious. Maybe the real deadite is the one I became along the way.

#Evil Dead Rise #evil dead 2 #ash vs evil dead

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movie’s I just watched: April 2023

A bit late, but to make up for it, there’s a lot more than usual! Here we go:

Beyond the Black Rainbow Definitely the same director who would go on to give us Mandy, tone-wise. The old complaints for a movie like this would be that the plot is either too thin or abstract. But, for my mindset regarding horror films these days if nothing else, it’s become what I prefer. I’ve made myself so busy with errands and other things (including posting here), that a plot I only need half a mind to follow is a boon as long as it’s got an atmosphere I like. Granted, there was still a few plot things I missed that hampered my enjoyment a bit. But still, it was all enough that I hope to see more of Panos Cosmatoes’s work.

Hatching Here’s fun idea to watch on Easter.  It’s even kinda sorta has a resurrection at the end. But yeah, the metaphor is pretty clear as day. The monster symbolizing the girl’s hatred for her mother and all those pressuring her...plus puberty, I think. A bit of a shame the mother doesn’t suffer any real direct consequences at the end. But she does have to live with the fact she symbolically and literally killed her daughter. 

I know what the ending represents; the girl never being able or willing to be the perfect daughter again. But, in-universe, now I almost want a sequel, at least in spirit. This idea that a the Thing like monster has replaced one of your loved ones and it civilized itself enough that it might not kill again. Do you just live with it to keep up appearances? How? But, given that The Thing is my favorite horror movie, any excuse to explore the themes of that further are forever entrenched in my mind. 

Death Kappa Does a parody succeed if it makes you realize how much you miss the real thing? This movie starts out making fun of films like Pumpkinhead and ends making fun of 70s era Tokusatsu. Though in a way of just cranking them up pass 11. And now I just miss watching old giant monster movies. It helps that Kappa is strangely cute, even after murdering people.

Bonus points for portraying Japanese Imperialists in way just as dignified as Mel Brooks and Taika Watiti portray Nazis. Meaning, as the dumbest bunch of bullying nerds the world has ever seen. And given what comes later in his career, I shouldn’t have been surprised to see Hideaki Anno here.

In The Earth And now this year’s Earth Day feature; the Better Watch Out of Folk Horror movies. Even without the masks and tests, you can tell this was filmed during the lockdown. Given the threat level the film tries to sell him as, I would’ve expected Zach to be more of the stereotypical hard core survivalist type. Yeah, that would’ve made his evilness less shocking as a reveal. But I still had trouble buying it. 

Bit of shame people with epilepsy can’t enjoy this movie. Though I don’t know how you can portray the spirit Parnag Fegg messing with people’s heads without it looking ridiculous. Also, given what happened to Martin’s foot, I’m a bit let down there wasn’t more bodily injuries on him and Alma’s side. I’m not saying, I wanted either of them to be dead at the end, just a little more messed up. Again, I’m sick that way.

Evil Dead Rise *Spoilers*I might come off as too negative here. 

I liked this the least out of all the Evil Dead movies, but the reasons might be entirely subjective. I’ve heard a lot online how the scariest parts about this movie, fears connected to Mothers or being a Mother, spoke to some people. I don’t want to take that away from anyone. In a lot of ways, it’s super ballsy, including kids in the body count and deadite count. It’s less hackneyed to find another version of the Necronomicon from the past found and put together then...going to that cabin again. There’s some creativity with the gore. Given how indestructible these deadites are hyped to be, a wood chipper’s a reliable way to get rid of them as anything. I don’t even mind the loose ends like the remaining deadites left behind, because the earlier films built off of loose ends from each other. And I still wants sequels from this. 

But it feels like it comes at the cost of taking risks in areas I care about more, like tone. This and the last movie feel like they more directly inspired by the first movie, which is common for these requels. But here’s the thing; I understand why they did that with Halloween and Candyman and such. Because not only are the originals still regarded the best, it’s not even close. But Evil Dead never had that problem. Sure, 2 is considered the best, but all the other ones from the original trilogy are still seen as strong in it’s own right. Even the least scary of the bunch, Army of Darkness is an awesome movie. I get why the Alvarez remake focused on the original and nothing else. But I’m scared that the tone and fun from 2, 3, and the TV series are going to get abandoned because every attempt to continue a franchise has to be as serious as possible. Maybe that’s more of a concern about trends.

Sure, I get why that wouldn’t have worked at all with, like I said, kids getting killed and mutilated. (Unless you’re just as sick as Sam Raimi, who in the old day would make the youngest one get possessed too while he’s at it.). Balancing comedy and horror, especially the way Raimi does it, is a lot harder then what they were going for here. But that was what helped made these movies specials. That made them stand out. Looney Tunes with buckets of blood. 

Would I have want Lee Cronin to make a completely different movie? If this was where his passion lied, absolutely not. But maybe, I would like some comedic chops to contribute to this franchise again in the future. I’m sorry that I’m coming down on this. I guess I feel that part of the fun was when it feels like there’s a deadite behind the camera too.

Last thing, I would’ve figured Beth would’ve got the exact opposite takeaway from this. “If they’re going to potentially wander off and find a book that summons demons, Hell no I don’t want kids!”

Renfield Certainly a better foundation for a Dark Universe more than “Tom Cruise and a Mummy too I guess”. Well this and The Invisible Man reboot. It’s a rare treat seeing Nic Cage play the villain, but Dracula’s often a good one to make an exception, especially in a production that encourages his usual style. It’s also kinda funny with more people realizing the OG novel Renfield wasn’t as much Dracula’s slave as the adaptations would have us believe, having a film version where he fully betrays him and lives is refreshing. Making it an allegory for abusive relationships is the icing on the cake. Or maybe it’s the other way around. 

The mob sub plot I’m not as crazy for, outside of Ben Schwartz playing the most pathetic mobster’s son since Fredo. Loser side villains are fun when not overused. I can buy a mob family, when they realize that Dracula’s real and here, they’d form an evil alliance with him. I could’ve had more of that.

And of course, like any proper vampire films made post Hays Code, there’s a lot of blood. Granted, with one scene where it was clearly CGI, but better that then cutting away. 

I’m not too sure how you make a sequel to this, or even if you should. But more of the classic Monsters used in modern day metaphors in modern day dark comedies, please!

#beyond the black rainbow #hatching #death kappa #in the earth 2021 #evil dead rise #renfield

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movies I Just Watched: Mar 2023

Another short list this month:

Planet Terror: If these aren’t the grossest zombies I have ever seen, they’re the grossest I’ve seen in a long while. 

Once again, the fictional end of the world is caused by the US military dabbling in something without any proper precaution. Didn’t really care for the running gag with the mad scientist being castration obsessed. Not sure if that’s bro-humor or homophobia. Bruce Willis’s cameo as technically the main villain was kinda funny. if only for how they enjoyed making it obvious how detached he was from the rest of the cast. And of course, Tarantino shows up just to die, but not before deserving every nasty bit of it. Really surreal they’re part of a stolen plot point from 28 Days Later of all things. If you’ve seen it, you probably know the one.

 The rest of the cast work well enough. Marley Shelton’s doctor remains likable even as she goes off the deep end and her eye shadow runs (wait, did I say even? I meant especially), while Josh Brolin seems to channel his Thanos performance ten years earlier and even creepier. And what happens to their kid; child death in horror movies can be a stand out moment whenever it shows up if not handled recklessly. This isn’t reckless, but it certainly seals the deal on what kind of movie this is with it’s dose of dark comedy.

I know Rose McGowan’s gun leg is THE image of the movie, but I’ve been used to seeing it even before watching the movie, I was more affected by everything else. 

I should’ve know just how bloody all this was really going to get the second Tom Savini showed up. Then again, with him here and Rodriguez directing, calling this movie From Dusk Til Dawn’s grimier dumber brother seems appropriate. That reminds me, I need to rewatch that in the near future.

Scream VI: *SPOILERS!*

I felt like the previous one took a few more risks than this one, but I actually enjoyed this one more.

A part of me DID watch to relish the New York setting here, but Ghostface was always the type to be in costume when he’s in your house rather then around any sort of landmark. He would’ve been caught almost immediately.

Yes, the opening is a great first for the franchise. In hindsight, paired with the reveal of our actual killers, it felt like a callback to Mrs. Loomis betraying Mickey back in Scream II. Personal revenge taking priority over insipid fame-seeking meta commentary. 

Speaking of our actual main killers, Is this the first one since III where the motives are actually personal? And the first since II it’s someone taking revenge for family? It helps that there being THREE of them and they’re family kinda gives it a Texas Chainsaw vibe for me. And pretty cool that the climax is a literal blood feud between two families. (Though I’m confused, are the Villains the Bailey’s or the Kirsh’s?) 

Although that ends up being part of what I mean about there being less risks. With three killers, that means even less victims that aren’t just essentially extras which was about half the deaths this time (The bodega people plus Gale’s new companion), so the only new person who was expendable ‘til then was Anika. As for the core four, they’re actually less expendable now then the previous four have been (Randy died in only his second appearance and Dewey...) . Chad couldn’t really die no matter how many stabs because he’s new final boy Himbo. It wouldn’t been way too mean to kill Mindy, the black queer member, especially right after killing her girlfriend right in front of her. We literally just got Kirby back. The internet might’ve explode if it was definitive this time. Sam’s the new main character, who also makes a more compelling case of sticking around this time, (and hoping Scream vii doesn’t spin it’s wheels on her). Tara might be the strongest case, especially with how Jenna Ortega’s fame is skyrocketing so she could get too busy for more of these. But yeah, combining that with her sub plot of pseudo self destruction might not have paired well. I almost felt Gale was saved in reshoots, people repeating she was in a coma. I get it, but man, she would’ve went out strong. 

I guess, pay disputes with Neve Campbell aside, maybe it is time for some legacy characters to step back for now. Just do something to have less characters with plot armor.

Okay, Let me end this section on a positive note. One of my favorite bits was actually in the opening. Tony Revolori’s character becoming a killer AND getting killed because he doesn’t understand Giallo films was rather amusing to me, but I guess only because I know enough about horror movies to at least know what a Giallo is. Up to that, can we just say that was the actual big intentional gag of this whole franchise, am I right? All the characters talk about scary movies and most of the villains are trying to create a real life scary movie. Though the movies they’re referencing and trying to copy are Slashers films, the plots of the Scream movies always felt like they had more in common with Giallos, like the ones made by Bava and Argento decades before slashers. Slashers don’t have human, vulnerable schemers all that often, but Giallo do. The invincible killer that gets away with everything until the next killing spree were around in 70s horror movies (Michael, Billy, Leatherface, etc.), but they didn’t start being considered cool until Jason showed up a movie late in 1981. The eighties. A decade where psychopathic straight men seem to run everything. But we’re not in the eighties anymore, and as much as we can learn from it, we also need to leave it behind. Even though too many people prove to not get the memo, the joke is still on them at the end. Six times now in this case.

It’s crazy how the first and second time Ghostface was actually cheer worthy are in this movie, at the very beginning and the very end (Unless III had some moments, it’s been a while). While the end is gratifying with Sam weaponizing her own horrific family legacy against those who’s chickens have come home to roost, a slight evolution on Richie’s fate from the previous movie. I’ll still remember this entitled, pretentious asswipe getting done in by someone actually trained and experienced in killing (either the cop father of one of the kids he’s trained) beating him at his own game before he even got started, with a pre mortem one liner that would seem contradictory, but fits in how when you’re on the receiving end of the knife “Who give a f--- about movies?!”

Inferno (1980) Speaking of NYC-set horror films and Argento. This is a loose sequel to the original Suspiria. While it’s been a long time since I saw that one, I think I liked it more then this one. Suzy came into the plot because of a personal pursuit then got curious about the weird and horrific events around her. Mark in this movie, cared the least about who the Mother of Shadows is, yet he’s the sole survivor. Was that commentary about leaving well enough alone on such things? Usually you don’t punish any characters for trying to be smart in a horror movie unless movie is made before 1960. 

At least the kills were up to snuff. Failed decapitation by window and getting chewed on by rats before getting stabbed by a possessed(?) food cart vendor were highlights. Really hated how the guy drowns some cats before doing it. What was even the point of that? Not like Tenebrarum had any pet cats.

Skeleton costume at the end was cute though. Not even going to bother with the third trilogy in this sorta Trilogy. I heard it was even worse.

I’m likely going to have a longer list of movies to talk about next month. Until then...

#planet terror #scream vi #inferno 1980

[maroonghoul]

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