melettinggo

[melettinggo]

Aih i rasa embrassing 25 still failed a relationship. WHHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON SIAL. WHICH PART I SALAH SEBAB I GEMUK KE SIAL

[melettinggo]

Weird and sad truth about the boys in kl. First of all, i dunno what happened to me but maybe im the same as them. The boys are really something here. They're weird love the comfort and hanging around with the girls tapi tak mampu to stick to one girl until they get old. For real just tak mampu to be responsible on a person and fking asshole sampai tua but still horny bcs they're human.

[melettinggo]

Hey. Im here for the stupid episode in my life, again. Get to know a person, it is weird though

I think there's somebody who is better than me and suits him well 😊

[melettinggo]

Hi. I feel like want to write something in here.

Maybe i have to find another reason to be happy now. Being happy because my friends are happy now with their newly bf to be haha. It's good to see them rn. Something that i wanted the most is having a person who always be with me, proud of me, love me, cannot living without me. I envy that. Because that's how i treat people. I really need that. I feel unmotivated, unhappy bcs I did not feel that. Maybe ada something yang tak bersyukur. Tapi takpa. I believe you Allah. Please guide me and find a person who makes me love you even more. Im so sorry Allah when i forget you, didn't ask you for help while i needed you the most. Tahun ni aku doa untuk cari jodoh je. Semoga Allah temukan aku satu.

[melettinggo]

Is that means men are heartless

[melettinggo]

I wait for his message again. Idk

[melettinggo]

Hi it's me again. Haha kalau ada orang baca mungkin akan marah aku sebab been broken hearted so many times. Sejujurnya penat dan tak terluah pun. Aku mungkin perlu a professional help, idk

What should i do now? Is it my fault?

Aku respect the promises most of time. I dont understand why people aren't think the same. Yeah benda tak perlu persoal sebab mmg semua begitu isn't it? Ya tough time again. I attracted to someone that i thought has same pure intention as mine. Yeah nobody born like you. You're different. You're special. Most of people doesn't see you, your ability. You sincere feelings. It's okay to let someone go, again. That's how people works honey. Just remember Allah ada to guide you. Believe him.

[melettinggo]

Hopeless romantic

i dont know which experience gone wrong during my childhood atau sebenarnya personality? tapi personality is created according to our experiences. as i remember, my first love is my little brother, kadang kadang kawan but lawan tu sikit la. second person yang i like was a boy at my tadika sebab he looks cute atm. when i were 7, i received a love letter from a boy, my close friend. i dont know where he is rn. maybe dah ada gf dan bahagia sebab dah kahwin, but sadly i rejected him because i dont know how to react. when i grew up, idk if the look is matter to everyone. i dont really care about my appearance, skin tone, the body changes, my parents dont grew me up with look-bias, beauty standard or being realistic about the looks? entah lah

bila masuk sekolah, i started to have feelings, suka orang, suka senior. but kat situ lah rupa memainkan peranan. kalau tak lawa kena la buli. menyedihkan lagi is that bila aku start dating online form 2. fun facts? ya 

dating online since i were 14 years old. nobody stop me and idk if this resulted negatively. kenal orang yang salah pun waktu form 3, yang aku terlibat dengan negativity internet. that was sick. im pretty sure im not the only one who experienced this. benda nya berlarutan until habis sekolah and rasa overwhelmed sgt bila dah new phase in life, being adult is not easy and i aware of it. cuma, masa tu aku cenderung to do bad things yang orang lain mostly tak buat. love scam! 

now i am early 20′s dan makin dewasa. dah sedar mana silap but i kept doing it because of my sincere feeling. snap!! i am a hopeless romantic. kalau nak cerita kegagalan dalam bercinta benda nya takkan habis. mula mula i fikir, my feeling just too pure rupanya bukan tu je, it is a tip of iceberg. i cuba buang pendirian yang macam tu tapi i jatuh lagi.

nak atau tak, masih lagi cari seorang lelaki yang boleh dicintai. aku cuba sedaya upaya dan taklah guna dating app untuk mencari, by using application to text, searching people nearby, a guy texted me. good looking? not really, baik? not so baik but, perhaps he knows baik buruk but sama, still buat benda buruk. we go for a blind date. at my uni seriously ????? ya my uni, tempat paling banyak i went for a blind date. sampai dah lupa pun siapa i pernah jumpa haha

how bad my hopeless romantic started here. bila i jumpa lelaki ni, i remind myself to not expecting to fall in love because he’s gonna leave me. i think i should remain this in my mind. we went to a nearest mall and walk around, drink coffee, chatting about anything, suddenly he hold my hands. pretty shock sebab in public. few times he asked me to go to his place. hm ya end up i agree aaa bodoh gila. wrong step again!! i tried my best to not fall into his bed, bcs i know we will hook up. he said he was fall in love with me, because he loves the way i look. my appearance. dang. im not melted, it makes me sad, i cried tbh. bcs i need to fight, that what i heard was not true, it is a trap. i know. but bila sedih, emotionally is irrational, my head clouds. i just lost my mind, i let him touch me, hugged me, lastly i were in his bed, being kissed and and hooked up. kenapa dia cakap hes going to marry me, how easy i trust a guy yang i dont know. 

there is impossible for someone else to accept my weakness, while i am not fully able to accept the fate, that i not able to have children. and ya, i told him about this, on the first day we met. damage is done. again. 

kenapa dalam setahun i let myself suffer all over again, after ji nopal and the last one, yub. tbh it turns out, makes me sad. i hope i can stop myself fallover a wrong guy again

[melettinggo]

it has been a long time of not visiting this. tempat sis luahkan perasaan, nak menulis kat buku rasa tak ada privacy, anyone can read that book and knows the owner. memalukan sebab tak semua mampu hormat privacy hehe. tapi bukannya nak cakap orang sekeliling tak boleh jaga privacy saya, it just that kat sini boleh to be frank tanpa selindung, urm sounds hard? takda la cuma ya la menulis, boleh tulis apa apa je. 

since kat sini tempat paling secure untuk luahkan, tak tahu la better sambung tulis betapa broke inside i am. walaupun dah berbulan, and my heart still rasa yang sama kadang kadang. i still lagi rasa rindu kadang kadang. i dont know what i want from him. maybe rasa tak willing nak let go masih ada. only if he didnnt ask how were i doing months ago, maybe tak ada lah rasa sebegini. i buang feeling tu sebab rasa my body pain yang amat dasyat waktu pembedahan bulan february lepas. selepas dua bulan dia dtg and break my heart again. sekarang dah nak ambang ogos, idk kenapa nak counting days hari, tapi tak tahu apa yang ditunggu. hari ganti hari, kadang rindu dtg mula la rasa excited untuk text him back, he try his best to make me suffer, yet i still bodoh tunggu dan text him again, walaupun ada hari rasa sedih sebab dilayan begitu buruk, ada hari rasa gembira sebab tetap direply. i look pathetic, wait for someone whos not love me back, and it will never happened. 

[melettinggo]

kesinambungan nya, kan ada dua orang yang berpotens untuk aku pilih, yang lain aku hold dulu la, sbab mcm tak baik la pulak kenal semua orang dalam satu masa. aku actually berkenan sungguh dengan yang kat ukm tu. aku nak dia. cuma tu la soalan nya susah, and im doubting ada ke lelaki yang nak terima kurang aku. lupa nak stated aku ok je kahwin yang duda huhhhhhhuuhu 

yg ukm tu macam menarik sbb high education, aku suka and memang nakkk lahhh ya allah. cuma dia kan duduk batu pahat, meni cakap batu pahat tu ka,punggg hahdhadjdh. dia mcm ada masa depan yang baik, but i hope dia hensem lahh. mcm rajin gak,, 

second guy, dia hensem tapi jarak umur setahun. tak suka sgt yang dekat tapi gitu lahhh. tak berapa berkenan yg dekat sgt ni, tapi nampak gaya mmg baik lah, suka jeee ehhehehehe cuma i wonder, nanti dia reti kiss takkkk lollll study engineeringggg emmm low income hahahaha

tap gaji malaysia semua begitu punnn i nak yang hemse, ke yg bijak nak mampos. tapi harap yang bijak tu pakej hensem lah supaya suka sikit waktu dating. boleh spam igstory

[melettinggo]

hi, i wanna update a story, actually a lot of it. i decided to not being sad anymore bcs of that bustard. i only hope dia dapat balasan yang sama macam dia buat. however, i ve never feel tired of looking for jodoh. seriously. it doesnt matter, i just better cari someone yang betul betul jaga hubungan dan aku nak hawin hahhahaa. cuma aku kena kuat sikit lah, bcs aku maybe kalau dah sama sama akan suka pastu ya boleh fikir nak buat dosa, nanti dtgla setan dan nafsu . aih payah bukan? aku nak cari yg halal haram ratio yg sama pun payah. maybe buat test tu nanti je?????????

well, i just try cari jodoh through twitter ada je calon, cuma i baru reply betul betul 2 orang. salah seorang tu macam bagus lah, lulusan ukm, skrg study for master. cuma tadi aku bagi soalan susah hahah so entah la dia akan jawab bila. maybe jugak dia busy. 

[melettinggo]

i am lost again

i texted him last night, because there is a sign that he is being single now. i was very anxious, intense feeling of fear, the feeling that warns me wether i will be happy or sad again. at this moment, i can feel it all over again - butterfly in my stomach.

it wasnt as my expectation. in my mind, he was a kind, cute, honest, generous, charming and loved. he kept a lot of secret, i thought he is different but, no he is not. i feel terribly sad but not that shock. i met a lot of people like you, treat me just like you did. but that time was different. i felt the love - fake love.

we did hubungan terlarang. perkara dihalang agama dan not asian norms. we made out. both of us stuck with that things. i feel confused and hopeless

lat night i asked him to help me to move on by telling me the truth end up we agreed to be sex partner. i messed up, i cant deny the feeling. i need that too- we need sex. but he just want to have fun. he doesnt respect me but, do i deserved it?

my dumbass state feels like i want to see him, soi need to agree. i dah rosak. i rosak segalanya

[melettinggo]

hi, im tired. i mulakan conversation again, because i cant hold it anymore. i eel confused again, and entahlah.. why itis hard to find the right one. istarted to know someone but sebenarnya dipermainkan jua. bad luck. i text jiji again out of niwhere. i fikir dia rindu i tapi tak pun. iwas playing with my own bayng. i cant have it anymore. i know i yg mulakan masalah sbb text dia padahal dah tahu this is no longer work. he lied to youabout his feeling but i keep deny it. tapi kenapa mesti i. kenapa tak terus terang segalanya jiji. i try so hard to let you go but hati just does not allow me. i nak tahu tu mmg masalah i sorang atau both us cant let it go? i just entah. apa yang i boleh buat jiji?

we really need to

[melettinggo]

PsychologyDaily.com ➤ Therapy App ➤ Stay Motivated

[melettinggo]

saya agak hairan lah, kenapa sesetengah lelaki sangattak jaga batas. kalau sya diberi masa untuk ulang balik masa i will take a good care of myself. saya dibesarkan dengan tahu batas antara leaki danperempuan, tapi once dah habis sekolah ternyata dunia kat luar ni terlalu berbeza. saya terkejut and never stop with that act, biar sentiasa terkejut daripada rasa biasa dengan maksiat. saya jumpa ramai kenalan lelaki memang rata rata nya sangat perperangai jahat dan tidak menghormati wanita. saya kecewa. selama ni rasa jaga anak oerempuan yang susah sampai anak lelaki pun dibiar menjadi jahat. sedangkan lelaki sepatutnya dijadikan pemimpin. saya orang yang cetek ilmu tapi alhamdulillah allah bagi saya peluang punya pemikiran yang tajam masa kecil dulu. ada guru yang baik, yang bagi ilmu bermanfaat. alhamdulliah. peluang yang sangat indah kurniaan tuhan. semoga guru guru yang bagi aku ilmu yang berguna, yg aku ingat sampai skrg diberi balasan syurga dan jadi orang yang baik baik. dan semoga doa baik baik ini berbalik pada aku ya allah. amin

aku tak tahu pengalaman orang lain macam mana, tapi setakat ni aku jumpa lelaki memang tiada yang baik. aku kecewa dan memang rasa tidak percaya pada orang baru. memang betul sekurang nya dapat tahu their true color tapi sedih la, kau dapat tahu hakikatnya lelaki mmg hidup berlandaskan nafsu. yang tak tunjuk, ya memang nampak indah, nampak baik. tapi tuhan je tahu. 

[melettinggo]

i forget something. i forget you let me go. you pushed me away, you made me sad, i have sleepless nights. i feel sad. 

[melettinggo]

i dont know how to react, youre my happiness need to replaced as sadness