mercury-lurks

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one minute you're at work experiencing stress levels that would kill a full grown horse and the next you're psychologically cold-cocked by someone in your tumblr DMs mistaking you for their 55-year old milf ex-girlfriend named joan and calling you a bitch but promising that he's good for you because he fixed up the plumbing on the house and installed cabinets in the kitchen

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and a show accurate version:

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the real problem with necromancy is all of these necromancers are pursuing immortality instead of dying so all the good necromancer names are taken for like centuries at a time. the other day i met a guy who called himself skull james

#it's me... skull james #kin: james

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Lemmings don’t jump off of cliffs unless they’re being chased. Frogs don’t stay in boiling water unless they’ve been lobotomized first. Crabs don’t pull each other back into the bucket unless they are desperately and randomly grabbing for anything to try to get themselves out, out of fear for their lives.

Actions taken in specific, negative conditions don’t exemplify the nature of all beings.

Before you mock a sheep for staying with the flock, ask what dogs nip at its heels when it strays too far, and what wolves wait just beyond the edge of the pasture.

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I know this isn't ninjago guys but I finished this 17 hour painting for my art class and I was proud of it so...enjoy.

I love Egypt fun fact about me. :)

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Kristoffer Zetterstrand 2003- oil on canvas

blue_average | blue_close | blue_distant | clear_close | dense_distant | LowMist | Overcast | standard_average | sunset_average | sunset_dense

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life advice: if ur cishet male friends dont let u call them babygirl theyre not worth it. but also this is dangerous bc then u’ll buy them a coffee at starbucks and they’ll say thank u daddy and u will automatically respond ur welcome babygirl and then the entire starbucks will be staring at u bc it is 2:45pm on a wednesday. this may happen multiple times. do with this what u will

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friends asked me to make this and i couldn't say no.

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im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing

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do you ever hear people talking about something and you’re like. fuck. let me be real for a second. i’m too much of a commie to have this conversation

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The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason:

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