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and on the fifth day god invented people who are younger and more successful than you in order to teach you some kind of fucked up and evil lesson

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Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

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I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

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if i were a woman, i would tweet “ginger snapped so jennifer could body”, but i’m not a woman, and i don’t use twitter, and i haven’t seen jennifer’s body, and i don’t make a lot of money or have a car or look nice

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gay new yorker. faggot about it!

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they thells she shells by the he whore

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The sexual tension between a girl and not feeling real every time her birthday comes around

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my job in the leftist commune is babybel unwrapper and everyone wants to fuck me

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EVERY DYKE IS A HERO by GANG. 1990.

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ArT iS iMpOrTaNt

don't cry craft

@danielhowell + @amazingphil + dost thou wish to live deliciously ft. slime

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Romeo and Juliet, 1884

by Frank Dicksee

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Please help the family of a non-verbal autistic child (who has been losing weight because he only eats certain kinds of food, largely unavailable during this time) leave Gaza!

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i got the last stardrop and i already forgot what i have typed in as my favorite thing

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there are no plotholes in saw because they re-explain the same events every movie. “but how did-” wait until hello zepp starts playing. “that still doesn’t explain-” they explain that two movies later.

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the humble "like" is oft mocked despite what it does for us. "like, three people" is a vastly different statement from "three people". "and i was like 'what the fuck'" is vastly different from "and i said 'what the fuck'". i love you "like" and anyone who says you make people sound stupid will be killed on sight