michuzurek01

[michuzurek01]

>Morning shift

>Customer is angry that we disabled his card

>calm him down because it is a security measure

>We had to block his card because he spent 5k on Genshin Impact at 4AM and almost drained his entire bank account

>The instant we unblock his card he spends 200 more dollars on Genshin Impact

[michuzurek01]

this is how I imagine having a werewolf boyfriend looks like

[michuzurek01]

[michuzurek01]

#jjba

[michuzurek01]

Marine life specialists noticed a spotted eagle ray mother was having trouble and helped her deliver two baby rays 

(Source)

[michuzurek01]

at a lesbian bar wearing a vampire costume: I vish to eat your puvsy *my plastic fangs slip out of my mouth and into someone’s drink* *I cry and pull the fire alarm before running out*

[michuzurek01]

ok lets settle it. which laios is getting the best dick rn

#poll #dungeon meshi

[michuzurek01]

kill the shift manager in your brain

[michuzurek01]

have you ever considered just moving on?

hell no bitch!!!!!

[michuzurek01]

Every time I like or reblog a post, I leave a little bit of man residue on it

Every time I reply or add commentary to a reblog, that’s five times as much man residue

Me following your blog means your whole blog has man residue

I’m spreading it everywhere

[michuzurek01]

[michuzurek01]

i figured yall would appreciate this photo

original instagram post from vinnikolaus

[michuzurek01]

I can't be the first to make this connection

[michuzurek01]

[michuzurek01]

Me: I hate gossip

Also me:

[michuzurek01]

the 3.5mm headphone jack was the wound through which light entered your phone it was a little cave for angels to live in inside your phone and big tech got rid of it cause theyre scared of God the wrong way

[michuzurek01]

going insane by one line from tng of “China was thought to be a myth until Marco Polo proved it was real” or something. Jean luc what do you mean. Ive been googling “Marco polo discover China” and it’s all just like yeah he went to China at some point and recorded some of tge culture. As far as I know no claims of China being thought to be a legendary mystery place before polo. Captain what did you mean by this. Jean-Luc