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all the poetries he ever made for me. all my favourite words from him.
he made his first ever poetry for me on november 26.
“if i were too afford you, you’d be my world and everything in this world would’ve been yours”
“if i get you, you don’t have idea how much i am gonna love you. it’s unimportant.”
“if i lose you everything but get you,
i’d happily lose everything”
“You’re so special. There is something about you i just can’t explain.”
“There is nothing beyond infinite i can’t love you more than infinite.”
“you fell too hard.”
“And only reason to get up was to look into your eyes.”
“i am not in senses when i’m with you”
“i can imagine a life without oxygen but not without you”
“my feelings for you are not expressable words can’t describe them, money can’t buy them and others can’t have them.”
“will i ever need a fragrance after i hug you?”
“your love making me build portals so i can go beyond infinite to love you.”
“if God asks me to make Dua that He will fulfill with 100% surety. I won’t ask for millions of dollars i will simply ask for you.”
“i am like limited. there should have been something–something other than words, something could actually show my feelings.”
“and it hurts too but makes me the happiest ever.”
“give me the hurt part you take the happiest one.”
“how can you be serious about me?”
“right now if they tell me live without Aymal or die i would rather die.”
“Aymal i love you more than the stars in the sky and drops in ocean.”
“think of me as a library and whisper all of your thoughts in my ear.”
“stop comparing yourself with moon. moon ain’t nothin like you, you’re way prettier.”
“you don’t even need to die to see Jannah, you got mirrors in your house.”
“if you vanish from the world i will track you by your beautiful scent.”
“you’re like sky to me wherever i go i see you.”
“give me your heart i will listen to it all the time.”
“i really wanna have my last breath in your lap. i wanna live my whole life with you.”
“give me yourself heaven is a bit of ‘you’.”
“Aymal. you’re so special. none has ever tried to explore you. you’re like a butterfly on a yellow flower.”
“can i take a sip of your tears?
but my heart won’t be able to handle it my lips will forever be in need of same taste and my stomach will grow flowers.”
“talk more about our memories, from your pov about me. i love it.”
“do you know why i tried?”
“no please tell. even if i knew it i would ask it again and again and again.”
“i love you more than the 1st drop of rain that ever landed on earth to the last drop of rain will ever drop.”
“if you were ocean i would dive into you knowing i can’t swim.”
“too high in your presence.”
“you’re my heart.”
“if i were to express how much i love you i would just tell you i am a bee and you’re my rose.”
“what’s the point of loving me then?.”
“faith on Allah.”
“i would happily live in a hell if i have an angel besides me forever.”
“and people call their lost love a chapter but to me you’re a whole library.”
“you’re like Islamabad in Pakistan, Taj Mahal in India, Eiffel tower in Paris France and moon in the sky.”
“maybe there’s something written far better for you.”
“i don’t want better
i want you.”
“i wish i was there to hold you tight. keep you close to me. and keep you warm. and give you forehead kisses. Oh God i’d give you the world my love i love you so much.”
“billions of books in the world and i wanna read your eyes.”
“i wanna write books for you, i wanna fill libraries with books about you.”
“if God asks for any one of my wishes i would ask to remove the silence when i am with you.”
“i love you so much more, more than stars in the sky more than drops of rain ever dropped in earth more than the blinks every living being ever blinked more than hair every living being ever had.”
“i am sky and you’re my stars,
i am dark nights you’re my full moon,
i am sun flower and you’re my sun,
i am bee and you’re my rose.”
“you come and talk to me in my ears even if i am dead i will wake up just to reply to you my love.”
“by whole existence i meant this soil and flowers on soil and those beautiful leaves on flowers and those colours of leaves and those scent of leaves and the world they are in and solar system that world is in and the universe that solar is in and the space that universe is in you’re even more perfect than all of this.
“meri jaan mere hath mn hota to mn tumhary naam pura hospital krwa deta.”
“apki toe lag jati hai table pr feet pr akr rolena mere paas i will be there for you.”
“you’re so beautiful Aymal that if i go blind i would still be able to see your beauty.”
“come to me love cry on my chest.”
“stay as you are and the water of the ocean would dry away but my love for you won’t.”
“only if words could express how much i love you there wouldn’t be a single paper left not filled with words expressing my love for you.”
“I am waiting on Allah, i am waiting on His miracle, i am waiting here for you, i am waiting because i fell in love with one of His servants and i have my faith on Him only He will unite us i trust Him and i believe in His ways only.
“i love every inch of you and every alphabet that comes out of your mouth and every single thought you get in your head.”
-
urdu shayiris
“For you ek phool likin ek khushbu ko phool ki kiya zaroorat jabky ek phool ko khushbu ki zaroorat hoti hai.”
“bahir jate waqt ankhon mn parda dala karo logon ki nazarain kharab ho jayengi tumhari ankhon k noor sy.”
“dil krta hai ankhon ky palkho pr rkhlu magr dar hai ky tumhari noor sy ankhon sy be-noor na hojaun.”
“dil krta hai tumhari ankhon sy giri harem ek boond pee loon pr nashy ki halat mn jannat wajib nhi.”
“jitna husan tera dekha lagta nhi kabhi jam mn esa nasha dekha.”
“tumhari husan mn itna madhosh tumhari baton ka hi andaza nhi laga paye.”
“tareefain teri likhny pr aun toh saari kitabyn dunia ki bhar jayengi. duniya ky saree siyahi khatam hojaegi amd meri sansain and mere din pure hojaengy.”
“adayen teri esi qatil mn talwar ki bajaye tera dedaar mangta hun.”
“khushbu teri esi ky gulaab bhi sharma jaye usmy bethi madhu makhi bhi tere peechy lag jaye.”
“tu chaly qadam qadam ugy phool jahan rkhy apny qadam.”
“wo bhi kitny qismat waly hongy jinko roz teri ankhain roz dekhti hongi.”
“mera dil mere paas hoky bhi mera nhi jabsy tumsy mila.”
“apky aagy gulab bhi sharma jaye.”
“dun gulaab ky phool mgr wo apko dekhty hi sharam sy marjaye.”
“teri in ankhon sy jo boond giry toh zameen sy zamam nikal aye.”
“sansain toh chal rhi pr rooh nhi hai jism mn ankhain toh dekh rhi hain pr nazar nhi arha kuchh tere siwa.”
“yu tera paas na hona,
esa lag rha hai qayamat ki ghari agai hai.”
“kiyun nhi lag rha dil usky bina kya zindagi ka maqsad sirf wohi hai ab?”
“ye sukoon kiu nhi ata mujhy tere bina kiya meri khushi sirf tumhsy hi hai?”
trs rahi hain ankhain tujhy dekhny k liye, kaan tujhy sun’ny ky liye, aur dil tujhy paas mehsoos krny ky liye.”
“teri kami ny is trhn dil pr asar kya, ky tanhai mm bhi teri arazoo ny akela nhi chhora.”
“tu kary ankh band toh dhal jaye raat aur tu gun gunaye kaan mn aur sota rhu mn sari raat.”
“tu chaly toh ury esi khushbu aas paas ky log smjhy kahi jannat mn toh nhi hum.”
“tujhy dekhu to palkhy na jukhy meri kabhi
aun tere paas to kabhi akela na paun khudko lagalu galy to teri khushbu rahy mere sath sada tujhy choom lu to mere hont khushk na ho kabhi tham lu hath to kabhi chor na saku chalu sath tere to kabhi khudko rok na saku karu baat tumsy to kabhi chup na bethu karo tum baat to kabhi na thaku sunky
karu to piyar tumhy dil na bhary kabhi kary jo piyar tu mujhy tujhpy jaan nisar kardu aur likhu tere bary mn to duniya ki saree kitaby bhardu”
“achi raat mn ap mere liye chand hain, aur tez sardi ap mere liye sooraj ki roshni hain, aur garmi mn badal ki chhau.”
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REMEMBER JUST REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I WONT FALL IN LOVE?????.THAT I HATE LOVEE I DONT WANNA FALL IN LOVE W ANYONE LOVE DOESNT EXIST YOU SHOULD ONLY LOVE ONE PERSON???? nahhh love is dangerous it pulls you into it without you even realising it, no matter how much you refrain from it you’ll inevitably fall in love. this guy i remember at times i used to wonder how lucky his wife gonna be cus this dood jus like me fr this is how i want my husband to be. slowly talking to him made me feel better, i started to smile when talking to him. i still remember when we called for three hours once as friends and how that one call made me feel better for days until we stopped talking for a week for smth bahhaha. i used to be a person like if i lost my any friends i wouldnt have cared at all but that dude stayed in my mind for that meantime i hated it despised it, he hurt me i hurt him it was a misunderstanding. i thought i was the only who cared until he told me i used to check if you were online, he didn’t wanna see my story but wanted to know what did i put so he scrolled until he found the stories on feed. he checked on whatsapp to see if i was online there. he fell in love when i listened to him and i fell in love when i cried for the first time when i was trying to end it bc i didn’t wanna hurt him but i couldn’t cus i didn’t wanna lose him. i wonder when this all will end, how will i endure it all? how will i carry the weight of breaking someone’s heart i once dearly loved. i wonder when he gets married how incredibly lucky she is gonna be. those hands of his i love so much, they are gonna touch her, he is gonna talk to her, laugh with her, and love her. she is gonna receive all the love i was promised by him.
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Sojourner ,
You keep making homes out of people. It only takes a leaked roof to drown a heart. You've been drenched too many times.
Traveler,
You have never belonged anywhere. You carve your name on the tongues of those who you meet. You forget it takes only a bad day for them to scrape their tongue clean of anyone they've ever tasted. They spit you out relentlessly.
Explorer,
Does it help? Pretending you want to be left alone. Traveler, do you ever get tired of being a stranger everywhere you go?
Wanderer,
Home is where you store all your hopes.
You have none.
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the way i constantly feel guilty abt having guy frens whom i just "sometimes" play games with or talk abt other stuff, anything but abt ourselves,, and i keep personal distance from them.. everytime i play games w one of em i wonder how amazing it would be if him (my future partner) and i were playing together, how fun it would be, rhe memories n everything,, Like i really want him, not anyone but him, I don't need/want anyone except him bc i wanna show my genuine love for him
bahahha imagine me loving him already here rn and this guy doesn't even think abt me yk???? oh God i hate it, give him to me
Idk i ask Allah to unite us when He thinks we both are ready and the time is correct,, BUT gawd (it's not even hormones ik hahaha) but oh how i wish us to grow up together, loving each other only, helping each other w our relationship with Allah, making memories. to be able to tell each other literally anything— things we can't tell anyone, our darkest side without holding back.
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sujood; it's an eternal abode where your heart resides. it's the only place where the heart is reluctant to leave it's lifelong abode. it's where the lungs breathes freely.
it's where the soul feels protected by it's creator as in those moments — it's the closest to it's Lord.
it's where neither you and your Lord wants to pull you away.
in those moments you learn how to breathe.
sujood is like a warm embrace from your Beloved Lord.
and when the head is lifted up, the soul forgets the familiarity.. as if finding an excuse to feel it once again.
it's a place where you can complain, cry, talk and stay silent, and your Lord will never ignore. He will be right there to listen.. and console you gently.
SUBHANALLAH.
and sometimes when you fail to find the familiarity the soul is searching for.. it feels.. disappointed.
#iloveislamfr#AAAHHH I WROTE THIS ????#i cant BELIEVE RHIS bc i opened notes and saw rhis and i Was like woah WHO WROTE THIS HEHE
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[11:58]
why does no ever talks about how awful it feels that you're not good enough? not just for anyone. but yourself. no matter how hard you try with true determination and multiple tries after tries.. it just..never works out.
atleast for myself, even if it was the smallest stuff, my small hobbies—literally anything i wanted to turn out good, never ever did. how everytime i look at myself and wonder what's there to like about me? would anyone still like me after taking a glimpse of the things buried inside?
okay let's screw worldly things for a while. why does no one talks about how awful it feels when you don't feel like you're doing enough on your Deen level, how everyone else is doing more than you—despite their silent battles. but then there's you... who fails and constantly fails.
i'm so so.. devasted how distant i got with Allah.. I'm feeling the familiar cold emptiness.. its like ive never been good enough. ive always fell behind everyone else. it's so painful. to even think abt future, present, past.
#girlbosslowmoments#SIGHGH GUESS WHO'S BACK#fr me having a breakdown once in a while and relieving the things i was trying not to focus on#Damn i realise how bad evruthin hurts and nothing makes sense
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is he a thought that can escape the mind that only grasps onto him?
is he not the one who rests in the Sabr of my wait?
is he not the one for who my eyes falls restless during my nights in Sujood?
is he not the one who my heart has yearned for ever since these vessels understand love?
#hanakwurandom#PLS MY LOVE PSLSLSL BE LIIIKE MY DREAM GUY I ALWAYS TALK TO ALLAH ABOUT#my Allah always listen so i trust him lots <333333#HE is still unknown.. but i lov him for the sake of ALLAH... YA ALLAH ALL THIS IS FOR YOUU
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i want to craft my words in poems for you like Ali (R.A) did for Fatima (R.A). i want to see the arches of your face curve the way his poems soothed her heart ease. I want to hold you in my arms and hush the aches of the contained vessels of your heart when they are in vain like Khadija (R.A) did for Rasul'Allah (ﷺ). I want to trace the ends of the bones like our Nabi (ﷺ) did for his beloved Aisha (R.A). I want to kiss the brim of your glass to remind you my growing love in these vessels as he (ﷺ) did for our mother Aisha (R.A). I want to sit and admire you when you're praying in the blues of nights like Hafsa (R.A) admired our Nabi (ﷺ).I want my ears to find ease in the echos of the recitation of your voice like the Ummah eagerly waited to listen to Muad Ibn Jabal (R.A). I want the brims of my heart to expand in awe of the hiqmah of knowledge you eloquently carry within the traces of your soul like Abu Bakr (R.A) held in his ever so beautiful words. I want to fall in love with Islam all over again everytime i gaze into your heavenly eyes. I want to admire your strive towards deen like the Tawakkul held by Musab Ib Umair (R.A) even when the sway of ocean shakes your core. I want to cherish the principals of honestly you'll carry within you like the transparency of Omar Ibn Al Khattab (R.A). I want the grounds of my house to be beautified with calling of Adhan in the hums of your voice just so as Bilal Ibn Rabah (R. A) used to voice the Adhan.
& so I'll for the day when each of these pleads are penned onto our Qadr's. & until the day comes when our souls will be in sync with these Dua's as I send to the heavens to be answered by His upmost Mercy.
(ameen)
#PLEASEEE I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE?2?((2(#this is actually so beautifully written.. Literally the perfect way to describe what i EXACTLY FEEL#and ofc this is dedicated to one my Merciful and Loving Allah chose for me heheheheheee#hanakwurandom
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i NEED to get this off my chest even tho im so tired rn. oh God i hate myself, im changing so much and idk how..ive been starting to wait for my friends reply WHICH IVE NEVER DONE BEFORE BECAUSE I DIDN'T CARE. tbh at times i feel so, so incredibly lonely..i start longing for some good friends to hang out with. sometimes i go out and see a group of friends together, my heart aches, and i detest myself for having a reaction like this. I don't really care about friends because never once in my life i came across a good friend and looking back at it is so...idk but ever since i dropped out of school my life took an 180, however, i did find myself (im still trying to) but i lost a big part of myself too—now i can't speak to anyone/and go outside without having insane anxiety.. and i wonder if ill be the same again, thinking about college scares me. it's such a pity and i hate it. i hate it so much. no one can understand this—me. and i can't do anything. im also struggling to study, ive always did..and i don't know anymore what's good about me...every part of me feels so broken and im trying to pick up all the pieces and do something but I just can't.
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sometimes i sit and think about how romantic it is to imagine that every version of me was made to be with every version of you. It's romantic to think how our love crosses universes and traverses timelines and that we were always meant to be, that nothing could keep us apart. Its a beautiful concept. it's so beautiful, how Allah wrote my name to yours before the sky was introduced to the sea 50,000years ago. i think nothing is more perfect than the perfect Allah Himself, made us for each other. i was created because of you. so i pray to Allah we have the love between us that pleases Allah! (ameen)
i love u
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don't be afraid to be "too much". Call me 5times a day because you wanna hear my voice or something came up and you wanna tell me about it immediately. Text me 15times in a row when i don't reply fast enough. Leave me cute messages when you can't sleep. Hold my hand. Everywhere. Sit really close to me on the couch. Keep your hand on my thigh. Always have a part of you touching a part of me. Tell me you love me every hour I don't care i want to be smothered in love by you
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Oh to be kissed until i can barely think a single coherent thought
LIKE...
impulsively kissing! kissing when laughing! kissing cheeks to say thanks! kissing noses! kissing foreheads! kissing hands! kissing wrists! kissing temples! kissing fingertips! lazy kissing! goodbye kisses! see you later kisses! wait for me kisses! be right back kisses!
(WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
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[12:53am]
dumping all of my thoughts here Once again...Been wanting to write this for so long SIGH FINALLY. this post dedicates to my future husbando fr. anywaays so.. I don't know WHY but sometimes i feel Like i already love someone else ???? i can FEEL it,, like i can feel the familiarity even tho idk who it is. i dont believe in past life but the concept of Past Life Lovers sounds so real to me. I CAN LITERALLY RELATE TO IT! me missing someone i don't even know??? yes. me missing someone's affection??? yes. me being wanting to be in THAT person's presence??? yes. me feeling like i already know my future partner, like ive met them before??!!!???!! Y E S. (hopefully i dont sound mad pls) and mainly because of this i cant bring myself to like someone bc i feel like ill betray him by doing it. Anyways if it is true that our souls already met each other in Aalam-e-Arwah,, then that pretty much explains it. like also when you come across someone and at first glance you hate them and you KNOW that you two won't get along with each other LMFAOO.
anyways here's the realest part.
sometimes when im making Dua for my future partner i can already feel myself loving him (MASHALLAH MASHALLAH mashallah...) here's one thing that i want to do when i settle with him (Insha'Allah) i want to tell him that "O my [inserts name] i loved you long before you came into my life" OHHH GOD THAT SOUNDS SO COOL!!!HEHEHHEHEHEHHE. and i want to let him know that even tho, you weren't present in my life and i didn't know you—you still held a very special place in my heart. you occupied my thoughts day & night (hate you fr), i always mentioned you to Allah, asking Him to guide you, asked Him to keep you firm on Islam, asked Him to keep you away from sinning. BECAUSE i loved you. i wanted nothing more to you have a very deep relationship with Allah.
#hanakwurandom#FUCJFKK ALL THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WERE KILLING ME WHILST WRITHING THIS#another mini rant here....#look ik i shouldn't be thinking about my future partner this much at this young age but whatever#(mf cant eveb imagine the amount of times i cried and got sad Bc of this lad)#family and future partner are very most and mainly important in life! so i should be thinkin abt them fr#that is my belief FR
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OMFMFMGGF I LITERALLY WROTE A PARAGRAPH AND THE VPN STOPPED WORKING AND NOW THE POST DIDN'T UPLOAD IM LOSING MY MIND AAAAAAAHSJFKFJHCJSLDKIDUFUDUDJDJFJ
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i hate anxiety so much. i actually think no one will ever be able to understand me(i dont even care about this tbh(,, but, it's the worst feeling ever, that such powerful, burning, overwhelming, feeling that drops in the pit of my stomach. the immense need of someone holding me, understanding me, consoling me? telling me it's okay, i can now breathe? yeah all that. i want all that. but on top of all that—i want to get rid of my anxiety. i want to walk freely out in the world without being self-conscious, i want to speak to people without shaking, without the feeling of something choking me so hard, and without me overthinking and overanalyzing every small interaction or action of mine after it's over. i dont think there's something to like about me
#girlbosslowmoments#Having anxiety Rn while writing this but Hahhah we dont care#the time that starts from 2am is not my time
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L O V E.
Love is when you find someone who brings you closer to Allah, and doesn't judge you if you fall behind on salah and rather motivates you and encourages you. It's about finding someone who, will hold your hand and teach you about Islam and isn't afraid to correct you when you're wrong. Love. is praying for them in your salah, and never failing to mention them in your Dua's. love, is when you wish for them, what you wish for yourself. Love, is finding peace in their presence, and being understood even when you don't enough words to express how you feel.
THIS is the love i believe in, if it exists.
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