mochatheangelkiller

[mochatheangelkiller]

no matter how terrible my day is. i can always end my day in bed imagining fictional characters making out sloppy style and fucking raw. and that's beautiful. there's some good in this world mister frodo and it's worth fighting for

[mochatheangelkiller]

What in the destiel happened?

Misha Collins outed Jensen Ackles, a straight man, as bisexual, as a joke, again

[mochatheangelkiller]

Happy death day, Jason Todd

[mochatheangelkiller]

Dean Winchester every day -- 78/326

Supernatural 4x18//The Monster at the End of this Book

[mochatheangelkiller]

How do we forgive ourselves for

all of the things we did not become? Doc Luben, "14 Lines from Love Letters or Suicide Notes" line 13.

dropped everything to make an angsty drawing of my favorite boy on the anniversary of his death. Happier pic under the read more cause i made myself sad

he deserves all the hugs today

#ogh i love that line

[mochatheangelkiller]

I'm not getting over the fact that people used to complain that Bruce and Dick were "homosexual propaganda". Like.. you see a 12 year old boy and a grown ass man and the fact THAT THEY ARE TWO MEN IS THE PROBLEM?

"I can excuse pedophilia, but I draw the line at homosexual propaganda!"

"You can excuse pedophilia?!"

[mochatheangelkiller]

friendly reminder that dean was originally written to say “i love you” here

[mochatheangelkiller]

season 8 is fun because you get the most boring flash back to whatever sam was doing paired with the most raw display of gay love in history

[mochatheangelkiller]

Unionized is un-ionized in my brain permanently

#damn chemistry #atlas rambles

[mochatheangelkiller]

if you were going to buy 3 seasons of supernatural on dvd which would you pick? you can only have these 3 seasons

#13 6 11

[mochatheangelkiller]

One of my hips always tells the truth and the other always lies

#prev. concerning

[mochatheangelkiller]

#regarding dean #i want to see him struggle with the possibility of dean losing everything he is

[mochatheangelkiller]

I should write this into a fix. It would be such a good one

Pain rant incoming

It's different for everyone. For some it's a constant, low hum. Always there, never faltering. Sometimes that pain gets worse but it never goes below that baseline.

For others, it comes and it goes. Whether that means it hits you in an instant and stays all week or it creeps up on you.

Everyone fights a different battle.

Everyone's battle feels like the end to them in one way or another.

Some feel the pain so much they just want it Done With.

Others feel the pain a little but so constantly that it's driving them mad.

And some. Some feel both.

Starting as a minor ache, not like pulling a muscle. Not quite. It feels different. You can almost sense it. Muscle pain happens when you go too hard at the gym the day before or when you stretch your arm for too long. This… is different. This starts like multiple hands are poking you with a scalpel, slowly dragging them along your skin, making multiple paperthin cuts. The cute feel like they go down to your very soul but you can ignore them. The hands start forcing their way into the tiny cuts on your body and it hurts but you can ignore it. You can ignore the hands as they shove themselves alongside your muscles and ligaments and bones and organs. You're almost able to ignore the burning. You're almost able to ignore the hurt. You can ignore the pain but the pull of it hurts so much you want to tear your skin off.

And while all of that is happening your brain tells you “let it happen, X. You've had a good month. You deserve this.” You can't deny how right they are. You can't deny that you do deserve this. You know that your tears are worthless because crying doesn't make it better. Crying makes your eyes burn like flaming gasoline is being poured into them. But you can't help but let them fall. Let the tears ease the pressure on your skull and feel the burning set in once the tears slow. And now when you need the tears most they won't come. You can't move to put eye drops in because even the thought of moving makes your body burn. So you stay put and feel it.

It doesnt get worse most nights. In fact, it usually stays at the same level once it reaches its peak. But just that constant, burning, aching pain is enough to slowly drive you mad.

Then you wake up.

At some point you fell asleep from it all.

As you gain consciousness again you still feel that ache.

But it's low enough that you can mostly ignore it.

And you take it easy that week.

Because if you don't you know it'll be worse tomorrow.

And really, who can afford to take time off work

#atlas rambles #chronic pain #atlas writes

[mochatheangelkiller]

Hey mom can you come pick me up? The genes you gave me said they're gonna make me miserable and I kinda want to be not that for once

#coming across old posts and being confused about them

[mochatheangelkiller]

I will be 50 and grumpy and angry and still be posting about my babygirl and his felonies like I'm 15

[mochatheangelkiller]

I was just watching a video where someone said wolf spiders taste like celery and pork and I wonder if all spiders have the same taste or if they're like tomatos

[mochatheangelkiller]

Waffle House is a bottom brat

#i stand by this