monruue

[monruue]

Clark groggily blinked his eyes open. Something seemed off. His ceiling appeared unusually distant, and its familiar features seemed altered. His gaze shifted to a peculiar sight—a bat was perched on the ceiling. Bats in his bedroom? Bewildered, he turned his head, only to discover a slumbering figure beside him, resembling a Calvin Klein model.

Panic surged within him. Had he followed someone home from the bar last night? What had possessed him? And what would his children think?

The man stirred and opened his eyes. Clark launched into a flurry of apologies, admitting he had never been so intoxicated and couldn't recall anything from the previous night. The man looked at him with bleary eyes.

“Relax, Superman. Your virtue is intact.”

“What happened?” Clark realized he must have revealed his secret identity to a complete stranger.

“I brought you to my med bay and extracted the kryptonite from your chest, but you were shivering and dragged me into bed with you. You said you needed to protect me from the cold,” the man explained, slipping on his pants. “Since escaping your grasp was nearly impossible, I decided to make myself comfortable and settle in for the night.”

The events of the past week flooded Clark’s mind, and the man’s identity became clear. “Oh! I’m so sorry, that was presumptuous of me. Umm, I also want to apologize for trying to attack you yesterday when you found me, Batman.”

“What does presumptuous mean?” Someone mumbled nearby, but was quickly hushed by another person.

“Call me Bruce.” Bruce yawned, rising to his feet. “Don’t fret. I did use your son as bait, after all. And consider yourself lucky, I don’t usually sleep with someone on the first date.”

Clark blushed and fidgeted nervously. “I’ll take responsibility for my actions.”

Bruce smirked. “Moving a little fast, aren’t we? Are you sure you want to be taking responsibility for me and my eight kids?”

“E-Eight kids?”

“Yes, you can start by taking one off my hands. I recommend Damian.”

“You can’t send me away! Alfred would never allow it!” Damian protested from under the bed.

“We can play with my new Xbox! Dad just got it for me for my birthday.” Jon chimed in.

Bruce bent down to address the two kids huddled underneath. “I won’t, provided you stop eavesdropping on private conversations.”

Superbat Family Fics

[monruue]

Clark: Morning Bruce! Welcome to the House of Elle!

Bruce: Clark? You’re working at the flower shop now? What happened to Martha?

Clark: Oh, I usually help out at the shop during the holidays. How may I help you today?

Bruce: I’d like a bouquet please, with some specific flowers.

Clark: Sure! We have a wide selection of flowers from all over the world and outer space, including rare and exotic ones. I grew some of them myself.

Bruce: Lovely flowers you have here. Are those the ones you cultivated on the Watchtower?

Clark: Thanks! Yes, some of them are. Feel free to choose the flowers that you’d like, I’d be happy to arrange them in a bouquet for you.

Bruce: I’d like six of those roses please.

Clark: Great selection!

Bruce: And some of these lavenders.

Clark: Okay!

Bruce: A single dahlia.

Clark: Sure!

Bruce: Hot lips.

Clark: Thank you!

Bruce: And kiss me quick.

Clark: With pleasure! [kisses Bruce]

Bruce: [stares at Clark] I want two kiss me quicks. And hot lips.

Clark: [kisses Bruce twice] I like your lips too! Anything else?

Bruce: [snatches the hot lips and kiss me quick flowers and smacks them onto Clark’s palm] How much?

Clark: Oh for you it’s free! Would you like another one?