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me showing the doctor where to amputate my leg as i ready the tourniquet 

#underrated classic

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why the fuck is it called the xbox 360 what does 360 mean???????????????????

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the tumpet. bwaaaa

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me at Olive Garden at 11:02 am staring down the elderly people impatiently waiting outside knowing we should’ve opened 2 minutes ago but my boss is in the back cheating on his wife with the girl who makes the salads and he has the key to unlock the doors

#i mean wow #i prob already did this one but it doesnt come around often

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someday this picture will be on the tumblr radar with millions of notes. and then it will be so big to where it will destroy all of tumblr thats what i believe

#because of course it is

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What do you believe in now?

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idk where “monkeys like bananas” came from but im so glad its a thing because its so fucking funny for no reason at all

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glad to see that youre back! i missed you

never gone even when I'm quiet

#asks

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the cropping of your header makes me want to off myself

ok do it then?

#asks #a terf^

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Three butch friends of mine finishing the basement of my first house around 1996.   They worked for beer, and not even anything fancy. 

#i love cowboy jen

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tbh i was kinda disappointed the first time i sucked a dick. idk what i expected it to taste like but i was just like “oh okay”

#a classic truly

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Hey guys just a heads up!! pay close attention to ur halloween candy bc people are disguising TESTOSTERONE BLOCKERS and ESTROGEN TABLETS as candy!!! they out here tricking kids into transitioning!

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New set up

#im sure ive already certified but its been so long yadda yadda whatever #a personal favorite

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you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

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this morning i sat outside in the cold waiting for 8am so i could put a large bag down in my dorm. my only company were your reblogs. it was still very cold but i giggled a few times so that was fine

aww. I'm glad to hear that.

#asks

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Why is Selena Gomez so big on ig? What did she do