mothmanmalewife

[mothmanmalewife]

[mothmanmalewife]

i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday

#yes #some of it was good but most of it SUCKED and has since been orphaned on ao3 #i was writing that shit at 11 years old it was of a LOW quality 🫡🫡🫡🫡

[mothmanmalewife]

the only reason why ten year old girls are destroying stupidly overpriced products at sephora to make “skincare smoothies” is because they aren’t being given access to a yard with a variety of mud, sticks, rocks, puddles, and old ceramic planters to make potions in. the children yearn for the apothecary

#when i was a kid i made potions out of the various shampoos and conditioners in the bathtub bc i didnt like feeling muddy 😭 #it was only sticks and dirt if i was at school

[mothmanmalewife]

listen i'm usually above taking potshots at reborn baby dolls but the sound I made upon opening Facebook Marketplace and being met with this thing sent my cats flying across the house

[mothmanmalewife]

(SOUND IS CRUCIAL) this video is has murdered me dead the music the editing the way information is slowly revealed about the two of them the plot twist the breaking bad images. WILLIAM WILLIAM WILLIAM. all over minecraft parkour someone help im seizing

[mothmanmalewife]

like to charge reblog to cast

[mothmanmalewife]

#if i saw this id simply die right there. horrific

[mothmanmalewife]

i like socializing with other queer people but man there is nothing quite like having a married straight guy as a friend

[mothmanmalewife]

I knew having Redditors cross-train on Tumblr would produce weird fucking magic.

[mothmanmalewife]

gay new yorker. faggot about it!

[mothmanmalewife]

[mothmanmalewife]

you. american adult with a drivers license. can you tell me who has the right of way at a 4 way stop

[mothmanmalewife]

i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii

“Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!“ 

“Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.“ 

“We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.“

“Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.“

“On April 19th, I made bread.“

“ I have buggered men.“

“If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.“

“It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.“

“Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!“

“Epaphra is not good at ball games.”

“Two friends were here.  While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus.  They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.“

“Secundus likes to screw boys.“

[mothmanmalewife]

[mothmanmalewife]

[mothmanmalewife]

medieval peasant: I see... so, it is the case that there are many paintings within this magical book? it is not so strange after all.

me, trying to show him tumblr to scare him: I was kind of hoping this would be a bit more confusing to you

peasant, suddenly pointing at the screen: hark! cynocephali

[mothmanmalewife]