muchloves-rashidah-blog

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#294. 06/12 of the journey

“so never for a moment feel that your efforts are all a waste, for He never forgets and He'll soften those waves.” there are things which i couldn’t afford to share with you. not b’cause i’m selfish with my thoughts, but b’cause i never want you to crash. nor do i want you to feel heavy @ heart. what’s relatable? your enlistment day. i didn’t share with you that by the time i got home @ 6pm, i cried endlessly till 12am b’cause it was hard on me seeing you go, sending you off, rewatching the video i took b’cause i wanted to edit them. it was tough. but it was also something i couldn’t afford to share the feeling with you b’cause i want you to continue to be the strong person you are, b’cause my clear conscience tells me that i should be tougher to see my man @ his toughest. so i held on, i sucked it up, and proceeded with my days. until many while later that i told you about it. i wasn’t just upset b’cause you joked @ the wrong timing although yes, i agree that half the time when i talked about any other things in the world, that would be perfectly fine when you turned the tables to me. i was okay, i would even joke around it too. i was genuinely annoyed when you made that remark and honestly, it was hurting rather than funny to me. b’cause here i am criticising someone and you remarked that my description of her was like me. really? kudos. just kudos, man. i felt that it was good enough that i didn’t let my words run wild b’cause if i did, it wouldn’t be appropriate but of course, i stayed annoyed b’cause i just was. logic thinking would say that you don’t tell an annoyed person what to do directly. so that’s that. but what i couldnt afford to share my pain was how my morning was already tough on me i nearly teared in 812 to school b’cause my thoughts was just about us. how we’re so distant, how our memories came flooding my head, how i wished for many other things that could’ve had happened and well, having menses wasn’t a help of course. i blasted my music, didn’t greet anyone in the staff hub. i wnted to be on my own. even when i came and there was a teacher using my table, i moved on and used another table. purely b’cause i just really can’t be bothered anyway. it’s been hard for me. i know its been hard for you too. but i guess this ranting is about how i felt. seeing the paths you’d take to go home by cab. seeing the yuhua hangout plc every time i head home frm work. seeing the fetching plc after word everyday. seeing the carpark roads you’d use to ride off after sending me home. it’s tough. when i broke up with my bf many years ago, i made sure i took all the pictures, gifts and things of that relationship to help him move on in the future for good. b’cause somehow, someday, it has to happen for someone to move on. and boomz, karma? idk. well, i get to feel how he felt. but @ least for him, it helped him. i missed you terribly. i know i always do tell you that by text but by terribly, it means a whole load of it. 😔 i really meant it with all my heart... it hurts me when i see couples, b’cause i knew once, awhile while ago, i was like that and it felt nothing but complete with you there. and suddenly, it’s been 6 months of absence. it’s hard. i’m not @ the stage of giving up but i just feel your absence more prominently now. and god does it hurt. 😔😔 but its, okay. i’ve got many things to thank you for. i’m just a girl who’s hvg menses right now and can’t really tolerate as much these days b’cause of my raging hormones and sigh, ya. just, ya.

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

It is both a calamity and a blessing, to look at everything so deeply. It is both tiring as it is healing, but lives are meant to be led ever so fearlessly. . . Happy birthday my dear Aidil Iman. May Allah provide you with endless health, happiness and taqwā, love you.

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

Oh dear you, It’s your favourite time of the year again! I du’a that your hopes and dreams come true, with full taqwā & happiness. Continue being strong, we’re all so proud of you! Embrace your adventure there! Never ever for a moment feel that your efforts are all a waste, for He never forgets and He'll soften those waves. . . You're always in my thoughts and in my prayers. We'll cross paths one day, wonderful stranger. ❤️

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

Oh dear you, It’s your favourite time of the year again! I du’a that your hopes and dreams come true, with full taqwā & happiness. Continue being strong, we’re all so proud of you! Embrace your adventure there! Never ever for a moment feel that your efforts are all a waste, for He never forgets and He'll soften those waves. . . You're always in my thoughts and in my prayers. We'll cross paths one day, wonderful stranger. ❤️

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[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

#293: it's been long. ma shaa Allah.

9 September 2017. Saturday. 0149 hours. I was about to sleep when a vision flashed before my eyes. The day you brought me to ButterScotch Café and I could feel as though every single moment was real, as though I experienced it just moments ago. I started to tear, I felt sadness and misses. It was one of the nights where it felt tougher. And I knew I can’t possibly sleep with a heavy heart like this. I took my laptop and started looking through all our pictures and videos. ;’) It feels good to relieve those memories. We’ve gone through hella lot. I miss our dates, where it’s just about us. A mournful side of me said, “Why couldn’t you just stay”. The many whys. A stronger part of me said, “You know you got this.” Both are equally right. It’s just my emotions pouring out, I’m sorry. It’s just been, a little, tough. I know it is for you too. I love you.

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

Go forth, whether light or heavy, and strive with your wealth and your lives in the cause of Allah. That is better for you, if only you knew. Ar-Tawbah 9:41 . . Hear them out, give them your time. He'll clear your doubts, in a different rhyme. ☁️

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i find it silly to not type up a sweet nice caption but i think this will suffice; you're the best among the best ❤️✨

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

i'm very particular about colours and the words that i choose but my heart was certain that i didn't find the need to put it to black and white filter like it was and that itself, depicts how much of meaning you have in my life. ❤️ . . we've been through a lot together, strong as ever. and we're never stopping for anything or anyone. with His will, in shaa Allah, we'll pass the trials and tribulations from Allah as one, before He provides us the permission to build our lives together for the lifetime. . . when times are hard,hang in there with me okay? . . you're the best among the rest!

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

There was once a place,

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

There was no better source to speak and start upon. Other than the ones you seek from yourself. It is from your plights that lessons are drawn. To revive the dying heart and the mental health. . . Where were you and what did you do. That justifies the strength He loaned to you. And why now the complaints and tantrums you threw. He tries whom He loves, if only you knew. #syafakallah

#syafakallah

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

There was no better source to speak and start upon. Other than the ones you seek from yourself. It is from your plights that lessons are drawn. To revive the dying heart and the mental health. . . Where were you and what did you do. That justifies the strength He loaned to you. And why now the complaints and tantrums you threw. He tries whom He loves, if only you knew. #syafakallah

#syafakallah

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

#Tadabbur i find this so rich in meaning 🎈

#tadabbur

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

Happy to spend my afternoon & Ramadhan with @moooonirah 💛✨ Thank you for the warm hospitality! Missing out on @zarreenloke but join us soon! :') (at Eighteen Chefs at Bugis Junction)

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It's been awhile but here's how the Ramadhan Bazaar @ Big Box, Jurong East, is like! You can get your Takoyaki, Jeruk Asamboy & Togok Matrep here too, save the trouble of going to Geylang Bazaar you know? Side note, make full use of this blessed month! 💎✨

[muchloves-rashidah-blog]

It's been awhile but here's how the Ramadhan Bazaar @ Big Box, Jurong East, is like! You can get your Takoyaki, Jeruk Asamboy & Togok Matrep here too, save the trouble of going to Geylang Bazaar you know? Side note, make full use of this blessed month! 💎✨