nerdy-philosophy

[nerdy-philosophy]

SOMETHING HAPPENS AND I'M HEAD OVER HEELS

izzy's oh moment

(speedpaint under the cut)

[nerdy-philosophy]

I'm still on self-imposed pause while I let some injuries heal up, I couldn't miss celebrating Calypso's Birthday!! She deserves the WORLD!!

Something about the pure gender joy of this absolutely lights up my soul. Gender is somehow such a controversial issue right now - when it's really just about expression and celebration of the divine self! Seeing Wee Jon have this glorious moment, and knowing the sincerity Kristian Nairn brought to this character, is just elevated to something so personal and dear to me. This wasn't a punchline, this wasn't a throwaway little inside joke from a panel, this was Calypso's birth and I'm so fucking happy she's here.

[nerdy-philosophy]

To be loved is to be changed

[nerdy-philosophy]

chill 🌅

[nerdy-philosophy]

WIP !!

I am still recovering from episode 7

[nerdy-philosophy]

on why am I crying today

[nerdy-philosophy]

You're still here. I forgot about you.

[nerdy-philosophy]

I'm obsessed

OFMD S2 Moonlight Scene + tumblr reactions

[nerdy-philosophy]

[nerdy-philosophy]

So fun story about my roommate

so last semester, my new roommate, without consulting anyone else, put up these stupid wall stickers. and I had to live with em alllll year.

(ignore the tapestry, that's mine)

so, end of the school year starts coming up, we're gonna have to take the damn things down anyway. so I decide to have some fun with it.

on sunday, while roomie was away at work, I took the stickers off the wall and started cutting up the letters. and this was what she found when she came home.

this was just above the couch, the first thing you'd see upon walking in the door. and my favorite of all, in the corner where the couch met the wall:

the next day, while I was in class, she came home and saw it. and promptly began acting like I did not exist.

It was the greatest week I'd had since moving in.

but only a week. one day, I texted our collective roommate group chat that I was taking an online test, and that I'd need quiet for about 2 hours or so. and when I finished, I left my room to find bare walls where my art once was, and a ball of letters in the trash can.

so I fished it out. and left this.

but I wasn't done quite yet. I fished out a couple favorites and put them back up in my room (partly bc I had gotten a bit attached to nut,)

now, you might notice that "tit" has lost its "s". that s now serves a greater purpose:

forming the word "penis" that I hid on the wall behind the couch before I moved out.

suffice to say, that roommate hasn't talked to me since.

[nerdy-philosophy]

NO MORE BADLY DRESSED TOWNIES

i’m now confident enough in this to make it public, let me know if you encounter any issues

removed outfits:

random formal wear on holidays

san myshuno “weirdos” who wear a face mask with bathing suit and tights

raccoon suits

socks and sandals hawaiian shirt tourists in san myshuno

fake vampires

weird rain outfits

wedding dresses you didn’t choose

kids in scout uniform

bears in granite falls

festival outfits in san myshuno (the geek festival cosplays have been left alone)

tragic clown

university mascots have not been completely removed but reduced

compatible with and recommended to use with simthingclevers mod. that one disables some of the ugly items for random, while mine changes the situation outfits to everyday. so to fully remove ugly townie clothes you should use both together

download here

[nerdy-philosophy]

I cannot stop thinking about the silk as symbolism for Edward's heart and how the only person the entire season that sees that fabric other than Ed is Stede.

Like in episode 4, in a quiet and private moment left alone in Stede's quarters he runs the scrap of fabric through his finger tips and he thinks about his life, how his mother told him they were not the kind of people that deserved fine things. And as soon as Stede comes into the room to talk to him, Ed takes the fabric he was holding in his hands and he haphazardly, hurriedly shoves that piece of cloth under his jacket. He buries it under Blackbeard's clothes and keeps it there, hidden away, until the end of the episode.

But the first time we see that piece of cloth, it is in Ed's hands in Stede's quarters, because it's a place that is starting to feel safe for Ed to be vulnerable and open in.

And then we get to the end of the episode, after they have spent some time teaching each other about how to be a pirate, about how to be a noble. After Ed sheds every part of Blackbeard to be Jeff the Accountant for the evening, how he still makes up an identity because he himself is not worthy of being in such high status company. And after all of that, after spending the earlier part of the episode being looked down upon by the captain of the ship he invaded for not being wealthy while being Blackbeard, after spending the latter half of the episode being looked down upon as Jeff for not understanding their stupid dinner etiquette, after he has been humiliated and embarassed, what does Stede do?

He handles it, he goes to the servants, the people at the party that no one gives a shit about, that none of the wealthy fucks really pay attention to, and he uses their knowledge to enact a passive aggressive cruelty on all those who mistreated his friend, Ed. He systematically dismantles every fake identity those aristocrats have built themselves upon, until they are tearing each other to pieces and burning down their own ship.

Stede's care for his friend destroys nobility, and Stede and Edward row happily back to the The Revenge satisfied that they have properly shown those judgemental wealthy assholes that they are not to be disrespected. And while I think that Blackbeard pursued Stede originally because he was bored and Stede wasn't scared off by the name Blackbeard and instead told him to 'suck eggs in hell", not just surrendering like Ed was complaining that most people do during episode 4. I think when Ed comes back inside the ship in episode 5 to see the party breaking out into a fight, to see the ship beginning to burn, that is when Blackbeard's motivations stop mattering, and Ed's feelings turn to love.

So what does Ed do? He pulls out his little scrap of fabric, that he's had tucked away, and what I love about the way this scene is portrayed in the show is that his sleeves from his fancy dress have a ruffle on them that blurs the line between where the sleeve ends and the red fabric begins, so it looks even more like Ed is wearing his heart on his sleeve. And instead of hiding it away when Stede comes to talk to him, he keeps it there. He gives Stede the opportunity to see that it is there.

And what does Stede do? First of all he calls it lovely ("that's a lovely piece of silk you have there"), and Edward calls it tatty ("What this tatty old thing?"), this piece of cloth that reminds him of his mother, of his home, of his status and his station, and Stede tells him those are the best things and he asks, he asks Edward if he can take it. And then Stede pulls that piece of cloth ever so gingerly from Ed's fingertips. He takes Edward's heart from him, and I don't think Ed really realizes what he had been offering keeping that fabric out until it is removed from his hands. Because he freezes, the only thing that changes in his position as Stede takes the cloth from him is his eyes. Which hesitantly turn upwards to look at Stede. Who then does nothing but fold it, reshape it if you will, and tuck it into Ed's breast pocket, on full display. Stede literally takes Edward's heart from his sleeves and puts it on Ed's chest, lets him carry it where it should be.

And the beauty of the production for this scene is that it is night time, it's dark out, Ed is wearing a deep purple shirt, and the red of that silk sticks out so brightly and beautifully against the rest of his clothing.

When I started watching the show, the first six episodes were already out, and like many of you I was worried in the beginning that this story was not going to play out in a way that was satisfying as a queer person. But then I went on Twitter and I saw that David Jenkins had this scene as his Twitter header and the amount of relief and comfort that I felt seeing that, knowing that he wasn't trying to hide the inherent romance of this scene. It was so freeing.

Episodes 1-3 show you who Stede is before Edward and ends with the introduction of a man who is bored of his life, seeking out a man that piques his curiosity. Then Ed gets a full view to Stede's heart just be being in his ship, because Stede has never hidden anything. His love for the sea, his eccentricities, it's all there. Ed knows before Stede is even aware that he is there that Stede had someone in his life named Mary and that Stede believes himself to be a coward. And their first interaction after Stede has nearly died is for Edward to hold his hand. But the end of epsiode 5 tells you how this story is going to play out. That Stede is going to be the one to capture Edward's heart.

Anyway, back to my homework now.

[nerdy-philosophy]

Guard your hearts lads, here he comes! 

[nerdy-philosophy]

Ed + loving Stede for all the things he was always mocked for

[nerdy-philosophy]

unhinged pride month energy from the our flag means death cast… iconic

[nerdy-philosophy]

Y’all for real,

I need less fics/ concepts of Ed going all Kraken on Stede’s ass and waaay more stubborn determination to not be like his father.

One of the best things about their relationship is that Ed is so fucking gentle with him. And he’s a pretty naturally amiable guy, but it’s this special kind of carefulness reserved specifically for Stede.

He goes so out of his way to speak kindly to him, touch him only with affection and reassurance, vocally express his delight at all of Stede’s silly little habits. I think the harshest we’ve ever heard Ed be with him is when he’s being a dick about the map burning up, and it lasts for two minutes before he’s like “oof, that was so cringe” and spends the rest of the episode making sure Stede feels happy and appreciated.

It’s the small shows of care for his well being too. He doesn’t just generally want Stede alive and mostly uninjured, he doesn’t want him to hurt himself with the lantern sparks, he arranges for someone to come get Stede just so he can sleep a little and feel rested for the road ahead

Fuck Ed doesn’t even want him to feel scared, or think bad things about himself.

Cause he’s lived his whole adult life as a pirate, a literal pirate, and still the most impactful source of pain and trauma he’s endured to this day was watching his mother be mistreated, the terrible choice he had to make to protect her. Ed’s mother coped with her abuse by teaching her son that nothing can get better and that they were designed by God to be undeserving of comfort and safety, something that low key really fucked him up. More Ed continuing to nuke the cycle of abuse please! If the events of episode 10 are Too Big and he messes up, I get it, healing isn’t linear, but holy shit please stop letting it go unexamined. Don’t ignore this context.

I don’t think that resolved look is just for promising to end his mother’s suffering, but also “I will not recreate it.”

[nerdy-philosophy]

chapter 4 - 29

friends again!

read from the beginning / read on tapas / my art blog / my personal blog / art instagram / heartstopper merch / read the next update early on Patreon!

Charlie, a highly-strung, openly gay over-thinker, and Nick, a cheerful, soft-hearted rugby player, meet at a British all-boys grammar school. Friendship blooms quickly, but could there be something more…?

Nick and Charlie are characters from my debut novel, Solitaire. Heartstopper updates three times a month, on the 1st, 11th, and 21st.

I really appreciate reblogs and shares - please help me spread word about this comic! I’m so excited for people to read it!

Buy Volume One: Amazon UK / Waterstones / Book Depository (ships internationally)

Buy Volume Two: Amazon UK / Waterstones / Book Depository (ships internationally)