orphika

[orphika]

On DVD?

What's a dvd?

#ic

[orphika]

What's a Big Hero 6?

What's a dvd?

#ic

[orphika]

You think that's bullshit, wait till I tell you about Betamax.

What's a dvd?

#ic

[orphika]

The new VHS and the old Blu-ray.

What's a dvd?

#ic

[orphika]

eurydice - sarah ruhl

[orphika]

[orphika]

#dash comm #ooc: story number 4 really hit him but I'm tapping out 'cause I know shit be fraught IRL

[orphika]

Can't have everything.

#dash comm

[orphika]

[private]

Even then.

Can't learn without starting out stupid.

[Private]

@orphika

Nero says I never loved her

Do you think that's true?

#ic

[orphika]

[private]

I'd kiss you if you were here. Get Sorcha to do it.

[Private]

@orphika

Nero says I never loved her

Do you think that's true?

#[ private ]

[orphika]

[private]

I think you love her. I think you want to have never loved her, because she's let you down. I don't know if you know how to forgive people. It's good guys and bad guys and you're gonna kill all the bad guys and that's it with you. Once someone's crossed the line they're dead to you, and now it's happening with her and you don't want to call that shot. But you can't compromise, because if you did, you might not have been right with all your other calls. People might have died and you might have been wrong about it and I don't know if you can deal with that.

[Private]

@orphika

Nero says I never loved her

Do you think that's true?

#[ private ]

[orphika]

[ private ]

How you feel is how you feel. I will always love that woman, whoever she ends up being. I didn't even keep my hands off fake-ass Francesca, remember?

OK. Listen. I don't want you to get fuckin' tagged and bagged at the airport, and you've got hunters in town. So... I am gonna find a way to get to you.

He hates me now too...

#ic #private

[orphika]

[ private ]

A lot harder to stake a heart when you bury it six feet deep. You'll learn, and I'll remember, and everything'll be...better.

I'm glad. You are very much not alone. I just - I don't want you to decide the way I feel makes me the villain in your eyes. If you're going to hate me I want it to be for a white lie. That's all.

I won't lie to you. I won't always want to tell you everything, but I can at least promise I won't lie.

He hates me now too...

#ic

[orphika]

backstage @ jean paul gaultier // spring 2012

#you know why

[orphika]

You cannot get everything you want out of this. Sorry.

It's fine. I'll find someone to take it out on.

Let's hope you feel that way in six nights' time.

Would it be easier if it was my idea? If you could point at me and say, that asshole, he put it in her head, she was doing so well and he told her to go and be what she always has been, deep down?

Would you sleep sounder every sunrise then? If you believed that?

#ic

[orphika]

I hope you're doing better. I hope you continue to do better. I hope it's heaven on Earth. Just like it should be. Forever.

I love you.

Would it be easier if it was my idea? If you could point at me and say, that asshole, he put it in her head, she was doing so well and he told her to go and be what she always has been, deep down?

Would you sleep sounder every sunrise then? If you believed that?

#ic #ooc: he will not ask if she finished the packet HE WILL NOT ASK

[orphika]

[ private ]

OK.

Truth?

Every fucking night of this week I'm going to get madder and madder. I am going to watch her get exactly what she really wants and always needed in real fucking time and it is going to kill me because I couldn't give it to her. I don't even mean the fucking Blood. I mean the home. The sense of purpose. The - every goddamn FIBER OF HER BEING is her Prince and Mother's Daughter. That's the only reason she thinks she's worth fuck-all to anyone. And I. could not. give that to her. For her to feel real and whole and like a person at all she had to go back to being Majura's fucking project, her Angel of Fucking Music, and that means it's a fucking LIE because whatever she feels like it's just MARIA. FUCKING. MAJURA. In her veins and in her head. And -

Do I need to say it? Do I need to tell you why that hits differently for me? Why I want to walk into her fucking garden and open up my soul and let it rot, let everything she planted and grew and made here fall back into decay like it was always fuckin' meant to?

I hope it's heaven. I hope it's fucking bliss. I hope Maria rots her soul and eats her mind and takes my fucking ring and throws it into the fucking Pacific and she never fucking knows or cares who I am again. Because then at least fucking ONE of us will be happy.

So yeah, Chez, I'm real fucking angry, actually. And it's only going to get worse. And I fundamentally do not feel the same way about it as you, and I can't fake it just to make you feel better. I'm sorry. I won't do that. I will not fucking lie to you. All I can do is not tell you the truth.

He hates me now too...

#ic #private