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Blog Post 11/30

 Toni Morrison’s Nobel Prize Lecture begins with Morrison speaking in first person about a story about an old, wise woman. Morrison shares that the story is about an African American woman, the daughter of slaves. Then, she focuses on a conversation between this old woman and a group of children. The young kids had come to make a mockery of the old woman though she is clearly well respected and wise. After being asked if the bird in the child’s hand was alive or dead, the blind woman is forced to take a deeper look into the concept of language and words. The narrator expresses the power of words, wether they be good or bad. Growing up, a saying my mom tends to recite to my brothers and I is “say what you mean, mean what you say” along with your typical “if you don't have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.” Taking a deeper look, it is true that someone’s words can change another’s life or change another’s perspective. Sometimes we forget just how strong words can be. 

-Sydney Emerson 

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Blog Post 11/30

Toni Morrison’s lecture was both moving and inspirational. Being the first African American women to be awarded this literature prize is truly remarkable. It shows just how motivated Toni Morrison was as a writer, and how much she believed in saying what you want to express through writing. Particularly, in her speech she talks about the power of language. Morrison makes a powerful statement about language stating that “We die. That may be the meaning of life. But we do language. That may be the measure of our lives” This statement is moving and makes the viewers of her speech think about life, and the place that language has in our world as humans,  as well as what it can do for our future. 

Olivia Beaudet 

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Blog Post - 11/30

This lecture by Toni Morrison explains the impact of language and words. Use of language can be extremely powerful. In Morrison’s lecture, she describes how language was used as a form of violence. A blind, old woman is confronted by young children. She is blind and cannot see the children. She cannot see their gender, their race, their clothes, or their facial expressions. All she has to go off of is their words. The way they speak to her incites violence. The impression the woman takes away from this encounter is a result of language used. The main takeaway from this lecture that I got was the understanding of the power of words. In writing mood is set and ideas are conveyed through words so it is important to use them responsibly and effectively.

-Meghan C

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November 30, 2021

This piece by Toni Morrison is particularly relevant and interesting to me as I just finished reading Beloved in my literature class. Based on that book and this reading, I can see how and why she is regarded as one of the best writers of all time. Morrison says “she thinks of language as... an act with consequences,” a point of view I’ve never considered as a writer or reader before. When we write, she suggests, we commit certain acts with language, wether that be shocking, saddening, questioning or any of the other emotions we can invoke in readers. The consequences of such linguistic acts are what we wish to create as writers, meaning we must be pointed and accurate with our use of language and make sure it creates the effects we are looking to convey. I like this approach because  it frees the writer of any ideas about what they ‘should’ or ‘need to’ write in general, and in turn allows them to reclaim artistic agency over the language they are using itself. The story Morrison tells in this piece is obviously something larger than just this lesson regarding writing and language, yet this is the part that truly opened my eyes about the power of written and spoken word.

Emily Brouder

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Blog post 11/30

After reading this piece, I felt more confident in my own abilities to write acceptable papers. I always thought I could use more help in my writing and that I can make it seem better because of fancy words. However, adding fancy words and extra details doesn't necessarily make a paper better. It is how I use my own language to get my point across. There is also more that I can write about than I think. There is always something past the surface of what I am trying to say. I wonder if there are specific ways I can really try to dig deep. Are there questions I can ask myself to dig deeper and think about everything related to the point I am making? Even if I catch everything, is there more I can ask myself to dig deeper into each of the points? Finally, I was able to say to myself that I can make anything important in a book or story a point in an argumentative essay. Sometimes I disregard points I think are not important, but throwing them away may be detrimental. I know I can find a way to make all my points heard through my own language without leaving anything important to me out.

Charlotte Cute

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Blog Post 11/23

Something that I noticed during this section, as well as throughout the rest of the novel, is how Myriam battles with guilt after her assault. Even though she puts up a really strong front of being mean and kind of a hard-ass, I thought it was really important that Myriam demonstrated to us, as readers, that she really struggled after her assault to illustrate just how significant of an effect such a traumatic event had on her. In the chapter titled “The Other Women”, the district attorney mentions to Myriam that some of the ‘other women’ have been seeing a really good counselor. This really upsets Myriam, and she repeats the phrase “the other women” multiple times. It is an instance where yet again, we see Myriam wrestle with PTSD and guilt in the aftermath of her assault. Throughout the entirety of the novel, we see Myriam use meanness as a defense mechanism. She puts up a strong front of being a hard-ass who doesn’t care about much. However, we can see through the guilt she faces that Myriam’s meanness is merely just a front. As hesitant as she is to admit it, Myriam cares deeply about other people, which is why she feels so guilty, especially about Sophia’s death. She never even met Sophia, but she feels so at fault for her death. The same goes for the other women. She doesn’t know them, but she cares about them and sympathizes with them, which is why she wrestles so much with guilt. 

-Molly

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Blog post 11/23

I read the first pages and instantly thought of earlier in the reading when Myriam said that the only mental health issue that could be given was PTSD. This is what was given to her by the rapist. She is living with this as she is running she imagines him here. She decides to have sex with married men just to get back men and ruin their lives. She has properly dealt with things and is coping in an unhealthy way it is the only way she knows. After he dies his actions don’t go away they are forever there. As is her PTSD she will always have it and she will never forget what happened to her because it will never change. She even ends with her thinking of Sophia. I think this is very poetic as she beings the book with her and ends it. It represents it always comes back to her. Sophia can’t be forgotten and neither can what happened to her. She is once and always affected by the trauma but she can try and learn how to cope with it.

-Madison Gant

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In response to Syd:

After reading this section and Syd’s posts, I relate on many different aspects about being a women in society. As Syd states, being an athlete, I go for runs very often outside and through neighborhoods and on main roads. When I was young, I was always taught to keep my music low volume in my headphones because it is not safe for women to be alone. That being said, I’ve always kept my music low, but I never feel completely safe. Contributing to what Syd was saying, sometimes you have a gut feeling and need to do 3 left turn to make sure no one is following you. It is sad to be a women and have to go through this. All of our everyday actions have to be altered because we are scared for our safety. When I am driving at night, I get paranoid that someone is following me. Instead of pulling into my house, I tend to do a loop around the neighborhood to make sure no one is following me. Before I get in my car, I check underneath to make sure no one is waiting there to attack me. Being a young women is being seen as vulnerable, so we have to take extra precautions to make sure we are safe. Myriam’s feelings and worries are very valid, as being a women is having a target on your back for being vulnerable. Especially because she was already raped, having something slightly remind her of that trauma is very unsettling.

Ella Cormier

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Blog Post 11/23: Response to Syd, Olivia, and Samantha

As a young girl my mother always warned me about the importance of checking your shoulder, knowing your surroundings, and always having a buddy with you. As women many of us do not think deeply into this, it has become a part of how we operate in our society and behave as individuals. For me personally, I hardly ever get gas at night and if I do I would go to a station in my small town where I almost always see someone that I know. I would never go into the city alone at night or stop on the side of the road alone. I think in recent years society has brought more light into this issue and questioned how we can create an environment where women do not feel this way. Myriam Gurba is a prime example of an individual who questions society and does not settle for the reality if she feels something needs to be changed. In this reading she shares her experiences to shed light on these issues and give insight to how women feel. Many individuals do not understand the mindset that women have to have. Myriam does not settle for the norm and that is shown in her writing.

-Meghan C

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Blog Post #9 November 23rd

I understand that Myriam protects herself by being mean to others and that she suffers from her traumatic assault, but her thoughts confuse and irritate me. She discusses how she reached her goal of achieving a 4.0 grade point average and gotten stronger then decides to set herself a new one: “to have sex with a married man” (146). Why does she want to cause others the same irreversible damage that she suffers? Why does she want to tear apart a family with a new baby? I know that he violated her and I understand wanting others to feel the pain that she suffers. I understand how the innocence of the family is similar to her innocence before the assault. I know that earlier Myriam claims that love is too risky, but I do not understand her active efforts to creating more suffering. Myriam continues the circle that the Osmonds began. The Osmonds touching Macaulay, Macaulay touching Myriam, then Myriam touching a professor. I noticed that the professor in college that she sets her eyes on teaches history, the same subject taught by Mr. Hand. Macaulay violated Myriam in his class and the professor did nothing to help her, where the circle of touching continued.

-Ariana White YUBABA

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Blog Post: Response to Syd and Olivia

When reading this section, I could also relate to Myriam’s experience on her run. As a girl, growing up I was always warned by my mom about walking by myself. I was only allowed to walk around my neighborhood if I had a friend during the day and I wasn’t allowed to roam around when it was dark out. When I was younger, I thought this was stupid and unfair. As I grew up, I started to understand why my parents had these rules in place. Hearing so many scary stories of women being followed while walking has steered me away from walking around by myself, especially at night. When I was in middle school, an older man followed my friend and I when we were leaving the ice rink. When we noticed, we started to run and he chased after us until he eventually gave up and went back to his truck. This experience has caused me to always be alert and aware of my surroundings. I can’t imagine the fear that Myriam must endure, especially since she still has trauma from being raped. It’s sad that in our world, women have to live in constant fear and even something as simple as going for a walk can actually be dangerous.

-Samantha Mercauto

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I already made a post but woke up in a cold sweat remembering this song. I feel like Myriam would absolutely have this song on her Walkman.

Specifically starting at 0:50

This is also for anyone who has had a similar experience or maybe not a similar experience, just anger.

-Meg

#Spotify

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Blog Post 11/23: Response to Syd S.

When I read this section of “Mean”, I recalled a similar feeling that Syd talked about in her blog post. As a female runner, I have heard of so many terrible stories of women like me who are just innocently going on a street run and then get cornered by someone who is creepy and has negative intentions that are often related to sexual assault. I am lucky enough to have never been in an awful situation like this, but it is scary how frequent things like this do happen in our world. Due to how many times I have heard about awful situations like this, I am always on high alert when I am by myself on a run. There have been a few instances where I have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach and feel the need to turn my phone on and call my mom while someone or something moves past that I feel could be a potential threat. This is the scary yet harsh reality of the world we live in. The Chapter titled “The Other Women” stood out to me as an accurate representation of the culture surrounding sexual violence, consisting of mostly women. The district attorney tells Myriam that “I can put you in touch with a counselor who works with victims like you. She’s very good. The other women have been seeing her”(145). This quote saddened me but demonstrates the awful reality of sexual violence. 

Olivia Beaudet 

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Blog post 11/23

While I was reading this week's reading, I almost felt a sense of closure from Myriam. On page 154, she is explaining how some of the parts of her assault she felt were too personal to share and how she hoards all of these memories within herself. While she is not willing to tell details, she is accepting of the fact that she is like a collector, and that these memories will be with her forever. In the past, as I mentioned in class, I felt as though she was changing herself because she did not want to be the person she was when she was assaulted. She felt the need to push that experience deep inside of her, locking it away for no one, even herself. However, she is now able to see herself again. She doesn’t need the closure of telling others what happened to her, as long as she keeps to herself what happened. While reading this specific part, I could understand what she was conveying. Although I do not wish to trauma-compare and my experiences have not been as graphic, the way she explains her feelings and how she has coped with a traumatic event is where people can relate to the emotions felt. I feel as though it is very hard to convey feelings like those, but Gurba elaborates and takes them to a point where the understanding is clear and concise.

Charlotte Cute

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Mean 11/23

In pages 142-145 of this weeks reading I find multiple areas in which I can relate to as a woman and general and through relation to real life scenarios that I have seen and how they have affected the victim. As a woman I can relate a lot to the feelings and thoughts that run through her head as she goes on a run. Especially with headphones in I know the feeling. As an athlete, I do a lot of running through different streets around town with my headphones in. I can remember so many times were I have that gut feeling that makes you scared someone is following you or you pass someone and you speed up. Ive had to unfortunately do the three left turn trick as I was on a run once to see if someone was following me while I was running, and scary enough they were following in a car. It just shows how vulnerable women are when they are on a run and we see it in real life which validates Myriam’s feelings. Her feelings in this section are extremely valid and the way that I see her mind directly jump to what happened to her with the slightest reminder is exactly how it works in real life when someone is raped. When someone is raped there is trauma there, and that constant uneasiness never goes away, so for me, it was really interesting to see how she kind of goes through her emotions as I have seen it first hand. 

-Syd Shinopulos 

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Mean 11/23

In the beginning of this weeks reading, Spring Semester 1997, I found her commentary during her run connecting in a way. Her description of her fear of invisible hands wrapping around her sounds too familiar. Personally, learning to cope after a rape is probably one of the hardest things you can do. Sometimes you never heal, anything can remind you of it and the pit in your stomach feels infinite. And if you haven’t experienced rape or sexual assault there is a whole level I feel people miss. The process of picking up this book and knowing that she will perfectly describe the aftermath of assault is repetitive and agonizing. The anxious thoughts she experience when running, especially the feeling that he was right there happens too often. Sometimes you get a whiff of a certain detergent that his mom used to clean his clothes and you feel completely entrapped. Or someone brings up the movie you both watched the night he went too far and you no longer are in control of your own breath. Sometimes its difficult to encapsulate the entire experience of being a survivor, however Gurba continuously hits the mark, even when it is triggering. She comments that the sense of having to go to the bathroom was in actuality the feeling of, “…his pressing….”(142). This is not a dramatic addition to her tragic story to make readers feel uncomfortable, it is a true feeling that I have absolutely felt, THAT is uncomfortable, having a constant feeling that he is still there hurting you all over again. Although this book is very difficult to read, I cannot express enough how talented Gurba is to translating her trauma into this uniquely formatted model.

-Meg Yubaba

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Mean 11/23

One thing that I found interesting about this final section that also occurred in the previous section was the inclusion of information from the trial of Myriam’s rapist. It is worth noting that it is on page 152 that the rapist’s name was revealed to be “Tommie Jesse Martinez Jr,” almost the end of the book (152). The anonymity of Myriam’s assailant reminded me of the several movements for increasing the use of victims' names rather than those of assailants. Often it is the name of criminals that gain notoriety rather than remembering and honoring their victims, and it is because of this that many people have advocated for news and media outlets to stop profusely using the names of assailants in reporting.  A recent example of this is the push to stop the use of the name of the shooter who carried out the attack on Marjorie Stoneman Douglas high school. Advocates for this explain that focusing on the assailant rather than the victims gives incentive to future perpetrators hoping to become famous for harming others. I think Gurba intentionally did not include the name of Myriam’s assailant because of similar reasons, making sure the reader focussed more on her story rather than his gruesome acts. In this choice she was able to reclaim parts of her identity damaged in her assault and shift the reader’s perspective to see her for more than just a victim, a courtesy and right that everyone who has suffered abuse should be granted.

Emily Brouder