perksofbeingatallpotato

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

As he walked down, the paparazzi were clamoring for his attention. “Colin, here!” Shutters clicked. “Colin, Colin!” He obliged for a minute or two before turning to the side to look at you.

And you held his gaze from where you stood until it was your turn to walk the carpet.

UPDATED ON FEBRUARY 15, 2023 at 11:44 pm

You took slow, careful steps. Breaking eye contact with Colin to look down at the ground as you felt a blush or a stupidly wide grin breaking across your face.

When you looked back up, his eyes were still on you.

You smiled at him and said a little hi when stood next to him before turning your attention towards the crowd. He gently placed his hand on the small of your back as you posed together.

Colin has been doing these appearances for decades, it’s a wonder how he’s not blind from all these lights. You thought to yourself.

“What if we give them something?” Colin asked after hundreds of flashes. You looked at him as you asked, “something like what?”

“What if we kissed on the red carpet?” He shrugged a little. You chuckled. “Well, I’m just kidding. Unless you know, you want to.”

“Well, it is going to be something.” You answered as if contemplating the idea.

You took a few seconds, “let’s do it, Colin.”

“Really? Are you sure?” He said it close to your ear to make sure you’re hearing it right.

“Hell, yeah.” He smiled at your response and you both turned to face each other, laughing a little.

Colin placed his hands on your waist and you started to lean toward each other.

Then you felt his lips against yours.

For a split second, the crowd went silent before roaring.

The clicks of camera shutters and bursts of flashes doubled.

And somewhere on the sides were your publicists and their jaws on the floor.

#Just a random valentine super short story inspired by the photo #Happy hearts day! #Colin Firth #Imagines #Colin Firth imagines #Updated at 15 February 2023 on

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Quarantine

Harry Hart x Reader Warnings: A little swear word. Word Count: 1,345 A/N: Surprise? I’m back again with another story! Started writing this about two weeks in after the world started to shut down. Maybe I should’ve put that as a trigger warning. To some, the lockdowns and the pandemic may be traumatic. Is it too soon to write about the pandemic? So, if you're following me on Twitter, you probably know that I've had covid once again. I tested positive on the antigen test after I experienced headaches and colds, and then I lost my sense of taste the day after. I think that pretty much confirms the accuracy of the test. My symptoms are mild and have improved since. I'm on my 5th day of isolation today. Thank you for the get well wishes! Much appreciated.

The title might sound boring, but I hope what I've written is not.

"I'm going to have to require you two for quarantine. We have to make sure you weren't infected. As we speak, both of your places are being prepared. But, you two are going to have to pick who's flat you’re going to stay at for 21 days. I need you two to look after the other, and support each other while in isolation." Merlin said as if he was giving you two a mission brief through the screen.

Your mission overseas went well. However, with the rising number of cases of nCoV all over the world, Kingsman couldn’t risk an infection within the agency. Even if they’re stocked and well-equipped to handle a case or the quarantine of their agents, they deemed it would be better for your overall health to stay at your own home, or whichever would be decided.

You opened your mouth to try to say something but Harry beat you to it. "I think it would be best to stay at (Y/N)'s place." He suggested. "(Y/N), do you agree?" Merlin asked you. "Yeah, sure." You haven’t thoroughly thought about this, you just agreed because it seemed like the proper answer at the moment. "Very well then. I'll have your things prepared, Harry. Anything you might need out of the usual aside from your clothes, toiletries, electronics, books?" "Let me think about it. I'll put it on the list if any. Thank you, Merlin. I'll be in my room packing a few of my things." Harry said to you and to Merlin, then he left.

"Merlin, I think it'll be better to convert the room I use as my home office for Harry's room while he's there?" You asked although it was more of a suggestion. "I was meaning to ask you that. I'll finalize the furniture orders.” You could hear his keyboard clacking, “And done. How about you? Do you need anything?" "Uh, I lost my yoga mat. I think I'll need one." "Added to the list. Anything else?" "Let me think about it too. I'll ring you if I've come up with something. Thanks, Merlin, you're the best."

As you walked back to your room inside the Kingsman mansion, you realized you were not exactly fond of the idea of having to live with Harry for weeks. You’re not used to sharing your space with someone. Harry would essentially be moving in. He’s probably not a bad roommate though, you just know it’s going to be a huge adjustment, especially with the fact that both of you aren’t allowed to go outside for weeks.

It took the whole day, but considering the norm outside of Kingsman, the furniture and other essential deliveries were fast. Your flat was spick and span, and your home office, Harry’s room, for the time being, was set up as if he’d been living there for quite a while.

You unlocked the door and welcomed Harry to his new temporary home. You gave him a little tour of the place, though there isn’t much to see. The last stop of the tour is his room, and you left him to get settled. “Thank you, (Y/N).”

The next thing you did was take a shower to wash off the day. You were poked and prodded by the Kingsman staff in personal protective equipment while waiting to be sent home. Both of your and Harry’s lab results are normal, but it’s not enough assurance that none of you caught the virus.

Merlin sent you home with a feast of takeout food for you and Harry, knowing you’re both exhausted to cook on your first night in quarantine. It’s almost unbelievable he’s human with all that brainpower to think of everything and then execute those things.

After dressing in your pajamas, you went downstairs to reheat the food, but Harry had the same idea. He was already in the middle of setting the table. “Dinner would be ready in a few m–“ the ding of the oven interrupted him, “–oh, moments.”

You were sat across from each other at your 4-seater dining table. Although this was your flat, it felt foreign to be in it with Harry. You’re not exactly close to him and have never hung out with him outside of Kingsman, you get to train and sent on missions paired up together, but you haven’t really bonded with him on a personal level. Now suddenly, you’re living with him. 

There was a little small talk, including agreeing on how good was the food, “I have to ask Merlin where he got this because this is good,” you said. “Just don’t tell him that it was good, otherwise he’d say that he’s the one who made it.” And you shared a laugh.

Harry would’ve also done the dishes had you not insisted it should be your turn. If you had to pry the plates off his hands, you would. Besides, there’s still plenty of time for him to do the dishes as he pleased. Thankfully, he let you do it without a fight.

The next morning, Harry was already up before you were. When you arrived downstairs, everything was already set on the table. He was probably reading the morning news on his iPad.

“Good morning. Time to eat.” “Sorry, have you been waiting long? You should’ve had breakfast ahead without me.” “Nonsense.” He then poured you a cup of tea and you smiled in return.

The rest of the breakfast went by uneventfully, by now Harry has caught on with the division of tasks, but it’ll be better to talk with him about this just to be clear. You both got separate instructions from Merlin and had to do a daily medical log while in quarantine. So the two of you disappeared into your rooms to do that and some other paperwork.

By lunch, you finally went over with Harry the division of tasks. It’s not like you were setting house rules, it’s just so that you both pull your weight around the house, and not feel like a burden to the other. He did have some questions, suggestions, and other things he would like to do while he’s at your place. You have a small lawn in your backyard, and he asked about your plans for the place. He suggested it could be improved with a few plants, aside from the faded lawn chairs and the wild grass that has survived on its own. You agreed to let him do whatever he thinks would be good. He gave up living in his own flat probably thinking of your own comfort, this is the least you could do for him.

And then the rest of the week was spent with the following routine, except on the weekend.

Morning workout

Taking turns cooking breakfast or doing the dishes

Taking a shower

1-2 hours of desk work

Lunch. Again, whoever’s in charge of the cooking and the cleaning up

A little tidying up of the house or your room

Few more paperwork

The rest of the day goes on without a specific task at hand. Sometimes you do a bit more workout. Sometimes you try to finish a few of the personal projects you’ve started a while ago. Sometimes, you do a bit more online shopping.

Dinner. Dinner arrangement. You know how it works.

But you often end the day with a bath and skincare or a self-care (Yes, you’re a bad-ass agent and you’re also a huge fan of self-care)

By Saturday, you went on with your usual weekend plan of not getting out of bed until your stomach complained that it was hungry. However, you suddenly jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom, quickly brushed your teeth, and washed your face.

You were doing a half-run going downstairs and yelled an apology. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.” “I was beginning to think you died in your sleep,” Harry said, and you playfully pushed him on his shoulders.

It wasn't that late, just half-past nine, but Harry surely had been waiting for quite a while.

_____________________________________________________

Another A/N: Too light? Needs a bit more plot? Part 2? Yes. I’m just warming up. ;) Do you want this to be a series? You can suggest things. Let me know!

#Harry Hart x Reader #Harry Hart #Kingsman #Merlin #Kingsman Imagines #75th Post

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

Hi! I absolutely love your writing!!! Thank you for writing Colin Firth stufffff!!! I was wondering if you take requests? Thanks sm and keep well!☺️

Oh my god, I just saw this! I also don’t recall getting a notification about this in-app or through email.

Hello, yes, I do take requests but can’t really promise when I can finish writing it. But I’d love to hear your ideas! Really sorry it took me this long to see your message.

#Asks

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

Oh yay! Great! Can you please do a Harry Hart x reader where the kingsman have lunch together all the time and he finds out he's in love with her when she laughed at that one time he had a "single mushy pea on the brim of his spectacles"? Please make it a fluffy end. It's based on a kingsman red carpet interview about colin being a messy eater dressed perfectly and all, and I love that little flaw. It's cute. Thanks.

Took me forever to finish this one as I’ve really, really loved this idea. I rewatched their interview about this over and over again as I was writing this. I hoped I did okay. Let me know. ☺️

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

And maybe, just maybe, if I put him out of the box I’d find motivation and inspiration to write.

#Funko Pop #Harry Hart #Colin Firth

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

Hello

s.o.s

Dear Kingsman fanfic writers,

we need more of harry hart x reader fluff, smut, hurt/comfort….!!!! PLSSS 

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

Kingsman: The Mushy Pea

Harry Hart x Reader Request Warnings: None Word Count: 645 A/N: I began working on this two years ago. Hello anon, terribly sorry. Writer's block. Survived mild covid. Still surviving life and all the other stuff. I wanted this to be really cute and fluffy, that's probably why I kept putting it off and why it took me this long. Hope you guys will like it despite it being short. Let me know. Request: “Oh yay! Great! Can you please do a Harry Hart x reader where the kingsman have lunch together all the time and he finds out he's in love with her when she laughed at that one time he had a "single mushy pea on the brim of his spectacles"? Please make it a fluffy end. It's based on a kingsman red carpet interview about colin being a messy eater dressed perfectly and all, and I love that little flaw. It's cute. Thanks.”

It's not every day that all Kingsman agents are sent out on missions, there are days when you just have to clock in, do a bit of office work, and clock out as if working a normal day job.

There were even times when you tried to pretend to be an actual tailor and hang around the shop, but in reality, you were checking out the fabrics you want for your next suit. By the third time you did it, the tailors knew what you were up to, but they didn’t say a word, maybe they loved having you around.

Sometimes, you'd even pop by Merlin's office and annoy the hell out of that Scotsman until he kicks you out, or be a useful side-kick and help him oversee a mission.

Most days like this seem slow when you're used to all the action out on the field. It is kind of boring waiting around for something to blow up or a terrorist to come out of hiding and the sorts.

The highlight of a normal day at Kingsman is eating lunch together with the other agents. Sharing a meal, exchanging stories that aren't classified, and chatting about current events give everyone a sense of normalcy in this otherwise extraordinary line of work. Though the discussions are usually centered on Eggsy's antics and embarrassing moments, because, well, he's always the first one brave enough to share his mishaps.

Today's lunch was fish and chips. Roxy was out on a mission, so it was just you, Eggsy, Percival, and Harry at the table. You often take a seat between Eggsy and Roxy, across from the senior agents. It wasn't intentional, there are no factions, you all just kind of got used to this seating arrangement.

Once the food was served, everyone started digging in. It could be the gloomy weather, or they went on a sparring session at the gym because no one hasn't said a word yet.

Harry was sitting across from you, gulping down his plate. A perfectly-dressed man, posh and all, eating as if his life depends on finishing everything on his plate.

After a few spoonful, you looked at him and noticed something. It took you a while, but a wide grin spread across your face when you figured out what it was.

You broke the silence by laughing at Harry.

Of course, he looked at you and raised his eyebrows.

This caught Eggsy and Percival's attention, they looked at you, puzzled. When your laugh finally died down, you pointed out that there was a mushy pea perched on the brim of Harry’s spectacles. And they laughed at it too.

Harry Hart, the epitome of a perfect gentleman, a messy eater.

Who would have ever thought?

Despite being the center of attention, he smiled at you. Suddenly, he felt like butterflies were fluttering inside his stomach.

As someone who once aspired to be a lepidopterist, he knew that it was impossible, but he was sure that what he felt at that moment was real.

He shrugged, "I eat like a warthog." And then he laughed along with the group.

Harry took off his glasses to remove the mushy pea and smiled again at you.

You turned back at your plate, as did the others. Harry then went on to explain how he is used to inhaling his food because, for him, he could taste it better that way rather than eating it slowly.

You laughed, "isn't that the opposite of how our sense of taste works?”

He just chuckled in response.

Harry suddenly felt tongue-tied. It was at that moment that he knew that all he wanted to do is to make you laugh, so he could hear it over and over again, and to make you happy, for the rest of his life.

And that's what he set on to do.

#Harry Hart x Reader #Kingsman Imagine #Fic Request #Kingsman Fan Fics #Colin Firth #Galahad

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2022 Update:

With the pandemic restrictions being lifted up across the globe, we were reporting back at the office 5 days a week. And most, if not all, of my weekends are spent doing house chores.

It's been my life cycle for a good while now.

Also about two months ago, I lost another family member, and of course, it wasn't easy. I haven't fully recovered from our loss last year, and we've gone through another.

Life fucks you up like that sometimes.

Anyway, I have been saving up for a new iPad for quite some time, to stir up my imagination and creativity (hopefully), and because I was still using a first-gen iPad Mini for writing and streaming. But as I've mentioned, life happened, and I couldn't prioritize buying one, aside from having a hard time deciding which one to get.

My best friend kept convincing me to get an Air, I was originally saving up for a Mini.

Until this week!

I decided it was time, otherwise, I might postpone my purchase again. (And prices are going up because if the inflation)

So here I am, slowly going back to working on some fics! 🤞🏻

#Yay me #Celebrate small victories

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

Honeypot

Harry Hart x Reader Warnings: NSFW, NSFW, NSFW Word Count: 2,095 A/N: Hello! I’ve been on a semi-hiatus on all my social media stan accounts. You know, sometimes life just gets to you, and then the lack of new Colin Firth content just kind of bums you out. Although there were updates about Operation Mincemeat, I haven’t checked it all out yet. So, the reasons for my disappearance are in my previous post, and now, let’s get on with the story. This one has been in my drafts since 2019, and I was finally able to finish it up recently. I took inspiration from another Kingsman fanfic. Hope you’ll enjoy this and of course, your thoughts are very much welcome.

Your mission today is to download a copy of the data from a known illegal arms dealer's mobile phone.

Everyone knows he's shady yet he never gets convicted due to the lack of evidence or witnesses. He has tight security and the only way to do it, according to your intel, is through a honeypot mission.

It’s your least favorite type of mission. You’d rather be caught in a firefight than sleep with the enemy. But this comes with the job you signed up for.

Merlin assigned Galahad as your back-up, posing as your chauffeur and bodyguard.

"It's showtime, baby." You said, mostly to yourself, to instill confidence. "Good luck Lancelot, be careful," Merlin responded.

The party was bustling when you arrived. You mingled around, plucked a flute of champagne, and took small sips. You're never a fan of drinking on the job, but these missions are always the exception. You engaged in a few small talks before you spotted your target and gradually made your way towards his view.

You tucked your hair on your shoulder, exposing the nape of your neck to the direction of your target. You then looked around and locked eyes with him before turning away and pretending to listen to the group you're with, laughing when one of them said something funny.

Merlin was watching you through Harry's feed, but he didn't have a good view of the target, so Merlin hacked through the ballroom's security feed. "Good, you got his attention."

Not long after, he slowly made his way to your group and introduced himself. He shook their hands, but when it came to you, he took yours and planted a kiss on your knuckles. 

"Hook, line, and sinker," Merlin commented.

It could be your natural charm, or the alluring dress you're wearing, or just the way you were trained to capture a target's attention. The important thing is that the first step was done.

Soon, he’s standing next to you, his hand is on your lower back and you could feel his body heat against you. He is hot in a literal sense. After the introduction, he has everyone engaged with his anecdotes.

If you take away the evil, he's not bad-looking. Marco looks like a sculpture of Adonis that came to life.

Your neuro-linguistic programming training seems to be working well, and not long after all the little flirting and your second glass of champagne, he asked you if you wanted to see the penthouse suite.

You whispered in his ear, "I've been waiting for you to ask me that."

"If you told me that earlier, you'd already be cumming right now, love." You bit your lips. To him, it looks like you were turned on, but the truth is, you're repulsed and you had to stop yourself from puking.

He took your hand and he led you to the elevator. Two of his guards followed.

Inside, he couldn't keep his hands off of you. He pressed his body against yours and wrapped his arms around you from behind. He started kissing your neck, and you could feel his growing member against your ass.

The elevator dinged. He led you towards the penthouse door and quickly swiped his card. Once inside, he pushed you against the wall and started making out with you. His guards stood inside the suite by the door. Once he finally moved his lips down to your jaw and on your neck, you asked him if he could show you to his bedroom and he immediately obliged.

Inside the room, he started taking off his suit jacket. "Mi Amore, ready for my love-making?" You smirked, "Mmm… I wanna do this my way." "Sí, let's see what you got eh." You pushed him on the bed and straddled him, kissing him as you grind your crotch against his.

Merlin begins his radio silence until you send a signal that the job is done. Meanwhile, Harry was forced to listen, in case things went wrong.

Marco didn't let you do everything, he reached inside your underwear to play with your clit and your moans were heard over the comms.

Not long after, Harry promptly went to the restroom to tuck his growing member in the band of his underwear. He was about to leave the stall before he heard you say "Can you touch yourself for me please, baby?"

What Harry didn't know, Merlin had you wear the prototype Kingsman contact lenses. It almost has the same functions as the Kingsman glasses. Except you have no way of capturing a live feed from your contacts yet, but you can see the feed from Harry's.

You saw him hesitate for a moment before looking down and started to unzip his pants again. Meanwhile, the man in front of you had already obeyed your command and seemed to be enjoying himself, so you let him be.

"That's good, baby." Harry pulled his erection out of his underwear. "Yes," you cooed.

You can now see him moving his hand up and down his length. "You're so big, love." You said, seemingly towards the man in front of you, but you were saying it for Harry. "I want to be filled by you."

You are so turned on with Harry obeying commands, you could feel the wetness in your underwear. "You're so thick, I want to be wrecked by you." It is the truth, his length and his girth are impressive. Your mouth watered at the thought of giving him oral.

At this point, your target is already buck naked, his clothes are discarded on the floor. You're standing at the foot of the bed, looking at the man in front of you but watching Harry's feed.

You start to strip and wished that Harry could see it.

"I'm going to touch myself now." You announced to give Harry a mental picture of you.

Once you start to feel your knees going weak, and your core is dripping wet. You instructed the man on the bed to wear a condom. "I'm ready for you now." A little warning in case Harry would no longer like to listen. But, a moan from the other side of comms suggested otherwise.

You lowered yourself onto the target, a loud "ah" escaped your lips. "I'm going to ride you now." You were very vocal, saying everything you were doing. It was like you were having phone sex with Harry.

You tried to suppress your moans, but you have riled up the man in front of you that he's fucking you hard, that your moans came naturally.

Harry could no longer listen to you being fucked by another man, but right now his member has a completely different mind of its own.

You closed your eyes so you could focus on listening to Harry's breathing. It was shallow. "Are you coming, love?" You heard quick deep breaths. “Come for me, love, I want you to come for me." Shortly, you could see Harry emptying himself before you closed your eyes for your release.

Your muscles contracting around your target sent him to the finish line. You kissed him one last time before shooting a dart from your bracelet. You then used your earrings equipped with tech that transmits your target's phone data back to HQ.

Once the download was complete, you made your way out of the room, and you winked past the guard stationed in the living room.

Once you made it back to the entrance to the hall, you started to walk downstairs and immediately see Harry looking up at you, you nodded to signal mission complete and he nodded back in confirmation. He left shortly to bring the car out front.

The drive was silent. No one uttered a single word except when communicating with Merlin. The Kingsman HQ is a two-hour drive away. And Since the mission wasn’t a high priority, no jets or choppers were necessary for the exfil.

"Merlin, I know this is short notice. But can you please book a room somewhere on our way back? I feel filthy, I need to take a shower and change."

"No problem, Lancelot. Galahad, is it okay with you?" Merlin takes good care of all the agents and makes sure that all is well with them. "Yes, Merlin. Positive." Harry replied. "Good, let's find you a place."

For overnight missions, Kingsman normally books the suite with adjoining rooms. However, on short notice, Merlin was only able to get you a premium suite with one room and a small living room.

Upon arriving at the hotel, you could feel that Harry is avoiding you, he can’t look at you straight.

You head straight to the bath inside the bedroom, opened the faucet, and started to undress, but a hem got stuck on the zipper making it impossible to do on your own. You left the room barefoot and found Harry standing by the window flipping through the tv channels.

He couldn't avoid you now, he's the only one who can help you. "Help me, please?" You walked up to him and turned around. "Can you make sure it goes all the way down without a hitch?" With a little hesitation, he obliged. And instead of clutching it against your chest, you let it fall to the floor, much to Harry's surprise.

You stepped away from the pooled fabric and turned around. Harry stood there frozen, but his eyes seized the moment. Underneath all that manners and gentlemanly ways, he is still a man after all. He looked at you from head to toe, his breathing quickened, and back up again to your face where his eyes stayed.

It was only for a few seconds but time felt slow. You took his hand, and when he realized what's happening he opened his mouth to try to say ‘what’ but no words came out. You led him towards the bathroom and handed him the washcloth.

You stripped off your last remaining clothing and climbed inside the tub. Harry rolled the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows and sat by the edge.

Harry's still not sure what to feel. He's embarrassed. for what he did and for thinking you'd take him to bed. He’s hesitant. He knows he wants you, but he’s unsure if you’d like that. He is grateful. He gets to take care of you and is willing to do anything to make you feel better.

He knows how dirty it feels after a honeypot mission. The body's response and reaction were all natural and part of the deed. It might've felt good at the time, but you'd sometimes still feel uncomfortable in your own skin whether you're the one who did the fucking or the one that was fucked.

For a while, only the sound of the water Was heard. Harry washed your back, it was gentle compared to the scrubbing you'd do to yourself in the shower and even offered to wash your hair. His long fingers gently massaging your scalp. It was unusual, but it was also a different level of intimacy. Your thoughts wandered to how his fingers would feel in different ways. “I know how filthy it feels,” he said, breaking the silence. “Yeah, does that make us ineffective spies?” “I think that it’s just us being human.”

He grabbed a robe and held it up — covering his view of your body, and then offered you a towel. "I, uh, should get you something to wear from the gift shop. Any recommendations?" Harry asked. You slipped the robe over your arms but you never tied it up.

"I'd rather wear your shirt after doing things with you, is that okay?" You stepped towards him, still trying to dry your hair with the towel. Harry seemed lost for words. You took another step and threw the towel at the counter.  "I would understand if you’d say no." Standing a few inches away from him. "Fuck the word no, it's a yes, darling." And in a split second your robe has dropped to the floor and he has lifted you by your thighs.

He carried you towards the bed and swiftly took his shoes off before plopping you on the bed with him falling on top of you.

"Y/N, you don't know how much I want to ravage you, but I will take it slow and taste every inch of you."

And he did. Harry took his time leaving kisses on every inch of your skin, leaving you begging for him to do you now.

#Harry Hart x Reader #Kingsman x Reader #Kingsman Fan Fics #I'm bad at naming original characters #NSFW #10.10

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

2021 Update 2.0

Hi!

If you're not following me on Twitter, well then... Hello! I'm still alive and kicking! I didn't intend to just disappear from Tumblr after I posted my previous update, but just a few weeks after that, I lost a family member. We did everything we could to protect her from coronavirus, but another disease took her away, one that she was battling for years. My life has changed again, drastically. Still adjusting to life without her, but I'm doing better now.

I hope you are all safe and well and got or is getting vaccinated. I experienced chills, fever, headache, and allergic reactions after my first dose, thankfully the second dose was easier on me. Yesterday was exactly two weeks after my second shot of AZ! Fully vaccinated and still wearing masks. (Doubling up my mask if in crowded spaces.)

Again, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone one of you who has read, liked, and left comments with the stories I posted whether it's here on Tumblr, Wattpad, or AO3. I hope the next one I’m going to post won't disappoint, you guys have waited a good while. Let me know!

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

2021 Update:

Hello! How are you all coping? It’s been almost a year since lockdowns started, I hope you and you family are doing well despite everything. I am terribly sorry I haven’t been posting new stories, I have a few drafts along with a few requests that I’m still working on whenever I have the free time.

I started a new job last December 2020, (thank God I got a job in the middle of a pandemic) which is why I’m mostly missing in action on most of my Colin Firth social media accounts.

But I promise I’ll be delivering a new story soon, you guys up for more NSFW stories? 😉

[perksofbeingatallpotato]

Fitting Room One

Harry Hart x Reader Warnings: NSFW, NSFW, NSFW Word Count: 1,769 (Totally unintentional) A/N: I think we all know what happens in fitting room one. I googled and ‘popping one’s cherry’ doesn’t always refer to ‘losing one’s virginity,’ but it could also mean ‘do something one has never done before’ ;) Posting this in celebration of my two years on Colin Firth stan Twitter and for reaching one thousand followers! Thank you everyone for sticking through all my shenanigans.

An afternoon trip at the tailor shop on a weekday usually guarantees there aren’t any clients around, and the man at the front desk is busy doing actual tailoring.

You and Harry Hart had decided to meet-up at the shop before heading to the HQ. You planned to restock your weapons and ammo after your last mission. Unlike Harry, you don’t have an arsenal at home.

When you arrived, he was already there.

The ring of the bell announced your arrival. Harry turned to see who entered the shop. He smiled, that kind of smile that makes your heart flutter when he saw that it was you.

“Hi Harry,” you spoke. He was standing just outside fitting room three waiting for you. "Hello," he said when you walked up to him.

He opened the door, gestured for you to come in first, and held the door. A whiff of his perfume as you walked past him made you ache for his embrace. 

Stepping inside, you were welcomed by your own reflection. Then you saw in it that Harry checked you out as you walked in.

You hadn't seen each other for almost two weeks, with the exception of quick and encrypted video calls. You were both sent on separate missions on different continents. And besides, your relationship is what can only be described as surreptitious.

That meant going on dates requires a lot of effort and sneaking around, which is why you’ve only gone out thrice in the months you’ve been dating. Most of the time that the two of you get to spend outside of work is whenever you hang out as a group with Merlin, Eggsy, and Roxy.

None of you has spent the night at each other’s place yet. The fact that Eggsy, Roxy, or both of them randomly show up at your door whenever they feel like it makes it extremely challenging.

He was about to pull the hook that opens the secret door when you felt this strong urge to give him a swift kiss.

You turned to him and placed your hands on his waist. You just had to, especially with the way his suit contours his body. You stood on your tip-toes and placed a kiss on his lips. But Harry had other plans, he pulled you against him and he deepened the kiss.

Your hands slowly traveled up to his chest, to his shoulders, until it found its way at the back of his head. Harry, on the other hand, made his way down. His strong, calloused hand went from your chin down to your waist. He pulled away from the kiss momentarily to tell you how much he’s missed you. And you responded by kissing him again. The next thing you knew, you felt his growing excitement against you.

He gently pushed you against the wall and started to unbutton your suit jacket.

A bit out of breath, you stopped him and said “remember when... you said one does... not use other fitting rooms except for fitting room one... when popping one's cherry?” And Harry looked at you with the naughtiest twinkle in his eye.

You fixed your jacket and he let himself out of the fitting room first. He wanted to check if there are customers inside the shop. It would seem odd for them to see the two of you leave the room together.

Fortunately, the place was still empty. The man at the front desk is still probably in the back room.

Harry held the door open for you. Once you stepped out, you could no longer wait for his gentlemanly gestures like opening doors, and you headed straight to fitting room one.

He followed promptly. Locking the door behind him and heading straight for your lips with such urgency.

He wasted no time undressing you, his lips trailing kisses on your body with every piece of clothing he took off of you until you stood there in nothing but your birthday suit.

With the mirror behind you, Harry has a great view of your derrière and this turned him on even more. He started kissing you again like a man drowning and your lips were air. After a while, he trailed his lips to your jaw, down to your neck. He cupped your breasts, massaged them, and made sure to give them adequate attention with his lips and his tongue.

Harry guided you away from the mirror to the wall. He got down on his knees and looked up at you as he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder. He slid two fingers in and complimented just how wet you are, and then he tasted you. His mouth started doing wonders on you. You've been stifling your moans; afraid someone outside might hear.

Harry was making passionate love with his lips on you, only pausing to finger you and watch you squirm, until you reached your climax. You grabbed his hands and held them tight. You felt so weak.

He stood up and kissed you, making you taste yourself. You were still panting from your orgasm, but you whispered in his ears, "now, about that cherry?"

Harry started removing his jacket and you helped with unbuttoning his shirt. Harry worked on his pants, his desire for you visibly evident. In what seems like a blink, the fitting room floor is littered with pieces of bespoke suits.

He lifted you up and leaned you against the wall. Your arms are wrapped around his neck and he is holding you on your thighs. Harry asked you if you were sure about this, he needed a yes or a no. You’ve never been so sure of anything in your life until this moment, so you replied with, "yes, I’m absolutely sure."

He aligned himself against you. He looked at you as he slowly entered you. He wanted to see the look on your face as he connected with you for the first time. You moaned, and Harry crashed his lips against yours to suppress the sound.

His thrusts were slow, passionate. The way Harry fills you is sending you to a different high. You’ve never felt like this with another man. You were moaning against his ear, and his breathing growing heavy despite his gentle rhythm.

"Harder." You whispered, and without thinking twice, he obliged. Harry went from gentle to rough. He was grunting. He was going in harder and faster, that you lightly hit your head against the wall. Harry saw this, though he didn't stop, but he slowed his pace a bit and managed to apologize in between his heavy breaths.

Without pulling himself out of you, he gently laid you on the floor. He pressed his body against yours. His weight on top of you is comforting and is turning you on even more.

You started kissing him as he goes again — slow, gentle, and he starts picking up his pace without worrying about you hitting your head on the wall. Your hands were digging at his back and Your low moans and his grunting were the only sounds that could be heard.

He was making love to you, rough but still with tenderness. And not long after, you reached your second orgasm and it sent him over the edge. “I’m sorry, I think I’m going to cum,” and Harry withdrew himself from you. He released his load on your stomach, and his warm white liquid reached your breasts.

Harry was hovering above you and he leaned in to give you a kiss, “you’re so beautiful.” He searched for his pants and used his handkerchief to wipe his cum off of you before collapsing beside you. The two of you were laying on top of your discarded clothes, catching your breath. You cuddled up to him, and he wrapped his arm around you.

“Let’s just stay here for a while and rest,” Harry said and you managed to reply, “yeah.” You are both well-trained spies, but nothing could’ve prepared you for what just happened.

You didn’t know how long it has been but you closed your eyes, and Harry might’ve snoozed for a while.

When he woke up and you gave him a kiss on the cheek. “We’re going to be late,” you sat up in search of your clothes. You were on your knees reaching for your shirt and the sight of you stirred something in Harry.

He kneeled behind you and put his hands on your waist. You looked at him from the reflection on the mirror and he gave you a look that says he would love to ravish you all over again.

Little did he know that you also couldn’t get enough of him. “One more?” You asked him. “Yes, darling, if you insist,” he chuckled and he started kissing your shoulder. Slowly, you felt his breath against your neck and the tender brush of his lips followed.

He held his erect cock and moved it up and down your opening, hitting your clitoris and making you whimper. You leaned forward on your arms, aching for him to penetrate you again. Harry continued his teasing until the head of his cock was wet with your juices.

Harry watched from the mirror as he took you from behind. You put your hand over your mouth as he enters you.

One of his hands is on your hips, and the other one’s on your breast. You could see from the mirror he’s biting his lip. You didn’t know your sweet, gentle Harry loves to do it this way. He was watching your breasts move in the mirror with his every thrust.

This time you both orgasmed at the same time, he was intoxicated from the sight of you and from the feeling of you around his cock, and he wasn’t able to pull out in time. He released inside of you. When he pulled out, you were dripping wet with a mix of his ejaculation and your orgasm.

After that steamy lovemaking, you two started to get dressed. He picked up your clothes from the floor. Your crisp and tidy white shirt, as well as your suit, have creases in it that hopefully won't be noticeable, as did Harry's.

You were both spent from that last one and would love to stay here all day and do more things, but unfortunately, you both have to go to your respective debriefing.

When the two of you arrived at HQ, Merlin was there waiting. He looked at his watch and said, “Galahad, late again, sir." He looked at you and added, "you too, Lancelot.”

#Harry Hart x Reader #Kingsman x Reader #Kingsman Fan Fics

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Colin Firth donated one of his signed and worn tie for Cahonas Scotland’s Celebrity #LoosenUpAuction supporting Testicular Cancer Education and Awareness.

You can bid on the tie at ebay, link is posted on content source.

#Add this to your Colin Firth collection #Bid now #I wish I have more than enough moolah so I can bid

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The untold story of Mr. Darcy’s ugly holiday sweater in Bridget Jones’s Diary

Decades before hipsters wore them ironically, Mr. Darcy (Colin Firth) donned an iconic ugly sweater: a moose-emblazoned turtleneck for a New Year’s Day turkey curry buffet in 2001’s Bridget Jones’s Diary — and, in doing so, gave us what might have been the first major pop culture appearance of the now-infamous holiday ugly sweater.

Iconic as it may be today, the actor has far-from-fond memories of the sweater (or rather, “jumper”) that he wore during Darcy’s not-so-cute-meet-cute with Bridget (Renée Zellweger). As the yarn goes: “The set was lit at about 140 degrees Fahrenheit; it melted candles and desiccated the turkey curry,” says Firth. “I almost tore the jumper to pieces pulling it off between takes — I probably lost about 15 pounds. I had little love for it by the end.”

Firth wasn’t the only one sweating over the homely masterpiece. “We sent out the knitting challenge to approximately 20 or 30 knitters,” says the film’s director, Sharon Maguire. “At first, none of the designs worked. They were lovely, but they just weren’t funny. So eventually we decided it had to be a moose, not a reindeer.”

Despite the dedicated deer selection, Firth — unlike the rest of us — still isn’t a fan of the festive fad. “I have at times been unfairly blamed for subsequent surges in Christmas sweater sales,” he says. “For whatever reason, I tend to break a sweat at the sight of them.” Also, “I never noticed it was a moose.”

Source: Entertainment Weekly

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Drunk and Disco! Artgjjyfhuhgdsfqaaaaa AAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!

I'm terrible at leaving feedback srry

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Drunk and Disco

Harry Hart x Reader Warnings: Drinking Word Count: 1,184 A/N: Just something light, happy, and funny (I hope). ‘This is ABBA’ was definitely my playlist when I was proofreading this. I’m not a dancer so I had to do a little research on the dance moves, forgive my descriptions. Oh and yay, just hit 250 followers on Instagram!

It was a Friday and the traffic’s bad. Just thinking about driving through, or sitting through that traffic is already making you tired. Which is why you decided to spend the night at the mansion.

Merlin said you’d be the only one staying tonight.

So, you started your night early. You showered, put on some sweatpants, a white baggy shirt, and a pair of socks with cartoon characters in it. Basically, whatever you could find inside your wardrobe that is not your uniform.

The amazing thing about staying at the Kingsman mansion is there seems to be an endless supply of alcohol and food. You walked around in your bedroom slippers as if you own the place, and raided the pantry for your dinner. You decided for something quick and easy, macaroni cheese. It would’ve been quicker and easier if Merlin decided to stock the pantry with an instant one. You made a mental note to give Merlin your suggestion.

Since you have the whole mansion to yourself, it was eerily quiet. The only sensible option is to blast some music, no neighbors are going to complain anyway. Thanks to Merlin for equipping the place with wireless speakers.

The drinks you've been consuming might’ve affected your choice of music, because you chose disco. shortly, ABBA was singing Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

And then you were singing along as you cooked, moving your hips to the song while you stir the pot, and of course, drinking to your heart's desire. You've enjoyed it so much that you didn't notice you’ve made macaroni cheese for about 4 or 5 people.

You pulled a bowl and you started to eat, but the music, and quite possibly the alcohol, is really making you move. You danced and sang around the kitchen while holding your bowl of macaroni. You moved from the kitchen to the dining area, to the living room, all while grooving to the music, singing, and eating spoonfuls.

At that moment, no one would certainly suspect you are a well-trained spy.

It was when Dancing Queen was almost done when you felt the weight of someone watching you. Out of instinct, you turned back and threw your spoon toward your uninvited audience, as if it’s going to do a huge damage.

And there he was, Harry Hart, holding the spoon you tried to use as a weapon, inches away from his face.

It's nice to know drunk and disco you still have aim.

“Good catch, Harry!" Sober you would definitely not say that. "What are you doing?" A mix of amusement and confusion is visible on his face. You had to pause the music. "Eating, and dancing, and singing, and being merry. Wanna join me?" You shrugged. "I was doing some paperwork." Either Merlin is forgetful these days or Harry had just arrived. "No, you're not. I'm the only one's supposed to be here tonight." Sounding disappointed, but you’re actually glad for the company. "But I am here and you're causing such a ruckus." You rolled your eyes at him. "Well, since you're here, loosen up a little, will you?" Harry pursed his lips and he seemed to be contemplating your invitation. 

You walked towards him and offered him your bowl of food, since he's already in possession of your spoon anyway.

Harry obliged and took a dollop, "this is good." The selection of cheese at the mansion surely made a basic macaroni cheese more delectable, but you're not going to tell him that. "Of course! ‘Cause I made that. And there's more where that came from, come along." And then you lead the way to the cheesy pot.

"Oh, nooo." Harry was going to get a bowl of his own. "Harry, loosening up a little means eating straight out of the pot." Astonishingly, he agreed to it. After you removed the pot from the stove, the two of you were digging into it, taking turns pouring each other drinks, and sharing a conversation. Turns out Harry was indeed doing some paperwork, but he kinda snoozed off a little and you blasting Mamma Mia woke him up. 

"I'm so full." You groaned. "Me too, I now have what you call a food baby." Harry said. "No way!" You went to take a look but there wasn’t any food baby visible from his fit figure, "liar!" “I'm still on the first trimester," he tried to explain and you both laughed.

You resumed the music and SOS started playing. You sang along and used your spoon as a makeshift microphone. To your surprise, Harry knows the lyrics and he sang with you, mimicking what you did with the spoon. 

Satisfied with the dinner, the two of you moved the party to the living room. At first Harry was just swaying along to the music. 

But after a few more liquid courage, Harry was moving his arms and his hips. It was a moment you'd never thought you would ever see. Harry Hart was dancing his heart out and he's also very much inclined to a dance off. 

Soon enough, the two of you are doing a little jive, singing a lot of duets using the bottles as a microphone, moving your entire body along to the song, turning with both arms up in the air, doing the disco finger, the hustle, bumping your hips together, flossing, doing whatever dance move you could think of, or trying to invent one, complimenting each other's terrible dance moves, taking a drink in between the dancing and the singing, and laughing all night.

It was fun, and exhausting. "I'm just gonna rest here." You decided to lie on the carpet, clutching the almost empty bottle of alcohol against your chest. You looked at Harry and he was panting, "good idea," and he laid down beside you.

"I didn't know you're an amazing dancer." You chuckled. "Neither do I, until today." You both burst into laughter. "Well, you're not so bad yourself." And the two of you burst into laughter again. "You are such a cute, handsome old man, do you know that?" Harry mumbled an incoherent response. You turned to look at him and his eyes were already shut. You laughed again, then music was fading and you're slowly drifting off to sleep.

When you opened your eyes, a bald man with a very unimpressed look on his face was looking down at you. Your head is throbbing and the light is making everything worse. 

You closed your eyes again and Merlin spoke, “what did ye do with Harry?” He started laughing. “Look at this poor man!” You opened your eyes and turned to Harry. He was still fast asleep, his mouth slightly ajar. You wanted to laugh along with Merlin, but you ended up crying a little because it made the headache worse.

Harry Hart, who was always looking perfectly polished, is sleeping on the carpet of the mansion, showing a bit of his chest, drunk, with his mouth slightly ajar.

Despite the pain, you knew you needed to sit up to snap photos of Harry Hart to remember this unique moment.

#Harry Hart x Reader #Kingsman Fan Fics #Kingsman x Reader

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“Alone again. Naturally.”

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