persional

[persional]

"underground" apr 2024

[persional]

[persional]

i know ive posted this before and nobody cares but like set weight point just has to be real. i just looked up how much i ate in calories yesterday and it was over 2500 which sounds like a lot (and it was, it felt like a HEAVY eating day, lots of junk food, lots of alcohol) until you look at my fitbit data bc i went for a run yesterday and also had to walk a bunch to get to/from my movie on top of my regular dog walks so yeah i ate 2500 but i expended 3400. almost 1000 calories difference– and yes neither of those amounts are exact but they're pretty close. if im always eating 900 calories less than im expending then how am i literally consistently GAINING weight????

[persional]

Gerardo Dottori - Tramonto Lunare, 1930, oil on masonite

[persional]

ancient sumerian little girl kicking her legs up in her bedroom imprinting images of gilgamesh and enkidu kissing on her cuneiform clay tablet and then taking it to her mom to bake and preserve it

[persional]

This year did NOT go according to keikaku

[persional]

my beautiful girlfriend "open link in new tab"

[persional]

Merab Abramishvili (Georgian, 1957-2006)

Pomegranate

[persional]

Mark Rothko

[persional]

Sydney Mortimer Laurence (1865-1940) Northern Lights

[persional]

im just dumping my thoughts here bc i cant say anything serious on twitter i dont have enough characters. anyway i do feel on some level like me getting way too drunk and tweeting too much last night somehow caused sophie’s death especially bc i woke up at 2:11am and then again at 4am and looked at twitter and heard about it so early 

[persional]

just made my own lil workout timer based on a joanna soh beginner vid and did the whole thing, well, kind of out of order, but I did do pretty much all the moves! which means i am Strong popular too contrary belief

[persional]

This is a blessing post in hopes that good money comes your way.

Likes charge, reblogs cast.

[persional]

watching eve’s bayou.... overwhelmed by Family Dynamix again..as i usually am. how are these kids aware of like what infidelity is?? i think if i saw my dad with another woman at age 10 or whatever i’d be like huh. no idea what that’s all about. i would probably assume in monogamous relationships it’s fine to hook up outside the relationship honestly. but i also didnt know about sex until about that age. i would probably be really confused. i would not react with the kind of composure they’re displaying. then again. im from a white midwestern family where it’s just assumed you don’t have feelings

#i

[persional]

im watching go fish and it’s reminding me of the time those terfs started calling me bisexual bc ive been in a relationship w/ had sex w a woman w a penis and it’s like... literally you all have sex w strapons all the time what the fuck i cant believe people. i also think like there re lesbian sex workers who have sex with cis men/men with penises for $$ there are so many reasons to have sex it’s so fucking stupid like this is literally my job to think about this and granted the person i fucked like did not give a shit about me and thought it was ok with me that she didnt give a shit about me but maybe that’s something for wlw in general to consider maybe that’s something for trans wlw to be allowed is a community to develop a healthy sexuality bc imagine being raised as a boy only to realize you want to have sex w women as a woman and then having no framework in which to develop that desire im not really trying to excuse the other person who like abused me and had sex in ways that were really disrespectful to me, someone who didn’t care about me and told me she cared about me and had sex with me, im just saying people are such terfs about everything and you literally create a hostile environment for survivors who have been abused/assaulted by trans women to tell their stories like there’s nowhere i feel like i can say “this person hurt me” and have it not be received as “oh trans women are inherently abusive” bc that’s not!!!!! true!!!! i love trans women so much i see yall as standing in solidarity esp trans lesbians i love yall so much im tearing up AGAIN and i wish i could say “this person fucking hurt me” without it being some kind of statement against trans women or trans lesbians like i just wish!!! ugh!!!!!

[persional]

do you want to talk about camille?

when you were young,younger,you climbed the crabapple tree outside my housewith bare feet and a smile.we are still asking ourselves what to do with you.we have a new question about the memories of you, too--i used to be able to remember the ages of my cousins because we were all in orderme, you, my brother, your sister. and so on--what to do now that we have all of the memories we'll have of youa few extra preciousthat once somebody else hadand now nobody else does.that's what you didwith your grand exityou made a somebodyinto a nobody.who else lives in that house, besides your sister and your mother?nobody.the second syllable of your name used to dip and split when we would yell for youand we would always yell for youbecause you were always runningyou were almost flyingall the time.these last year or so i watched your bones turn hollowand you were almost liftingoff the ground.all the time.i watched your eyes sink brown and holy into your facei saw somebody like you at a party andi had to get out of the house.you got out of your houseyou got out of the countryyou got out of denmark and minneapolis and pragueout of the familyout of the picturesout of the camera frameout of your faceout of your body.sometimes somebody's healing process is just dyingis just learning to get out.sometimes people aren't meant for this worldwhose gravity keeps our feet so tightly rooted to the ground.sometimes people take flightbecause they have to.to remind the rest of us to stay.

#this pasted without line breaks and i kind of like it

[persional]

margery kempe by robert glück