pokefanbri

[pokefanbri]

Bri's back story

Little back story, my mom's birthday is Halloween btw lol 🎃 She was a very wild child & couldn't be controlled by grama & grampa rip. Who always compared her to her older siblings who were roudy & eventually became roudy herself. Conceived me & twin bro in New Orleans where she had fun & came back pregnant w/us, Grampa passed in 96 & the fam split, she raised 4 kids on her own, did crack & broke under the pressure, got us taken away is the gist.

We were put in foster care when I & my twin bro (13) & 2 younger siblings were all split up into group homes after twin bro called cps & snitched on her, can't forgive her, paint himself as the victim & says I abandoned the family of which was only his opinion nobody else's. Since I reunited with her I'm unforgivable & discarded by him & my aunt by association. But honestly foster care was probably the best thing for us cuz we struggled to eat & were actually well taken care of. Twin & I got through our HS careers in separate schools w/the same build blueprint so was like a twin school...thank God he would have cramped my style 😎 We got jobs at 16 to save for apt after emancipation. The only issue was visitations, they wouldn't let us see her cuz CPS is ALWAYS AGAINST THE MOTHER... denied her rights to see us but we could see each other. (cuz drugs are involved regardless if from good homes or not, I had a roommate w/a similar situation w/her kids but she was a good mom) My younger bros got adopted out into & nice family, twin bro naturally got adopted by them as well cuz he wanted what they had. They got all their own cars & everything they wanted. However I went a diff route & not knowing it was an option I did everything on my own & humbled myself on the bottom living my own struggle....... while they floated in a pool & had loving parents & went on cruises without me.

Middle child always had a knack for making money 💰 starting young ADHD & had wild ideas to get in trouble, now has multiple businesses going & has 4 kids however he may be Fked up the most & may need exorcism due to antichrist & blasphemous behavior.

Youngest grew up right cuz he was too young & is very very funny, actually cares about me but doesn't know me.

Anyway mom spoiled twin more than all 4 of us to keep his mouth shut about her drug use after she told him,fought w/her alot whilst being spoiled at the same time while I cleaned & took care of the younger 2. Twin always played video games & ignored everything while I was screamed at with curse words & told to do everything for her except cook, traumatized the fk outta me. However paid me to play yazzi with her sometimes when she was high lol. Guys & friends going in & out of the place all the time, they didn't scare me...I learned to be very protective & wary. Misspent youth growing up early couldn't really be a kid so I'm sort of a kid still at ❤️ The group home drilled cleaning into me too 🫤 CindaBri over here. These days I'm very sensitive & am prone to crying since I was a kid. I don't do well with conflict, bullying, negativity of any kind I cannot tolerate. I have a huge heart despite how I grew up, I was a pushover & it took me a longtime to develop a backbone. I absolutely hate it when I'm mistreated, feels like I'm a punching bag for family to take it out on. Well hears something, I honestly do not give a flying rat's ass what they think about me or my mother. I am free from their controlling ways and I'm so grateful to God that he gave me the strength to sever ties on my own terms and not theirs instead. I'm allowed to do the same exact thing & cut people out of my life if its better for me & my health then that's what I'll do. Not because of hatred but because it's the right thing to do. As family oriented as I want to be it's just not possible for my family to get along and it's very sad & pathetic. I have to be able to heal from the trauma even more as I had the worst of it. now broken however beautiful 😊 Mostly independent & very strong/resilient 💪 I have Jesus to thank for saving my life more than I can count. Never learned to drive either to this day & always take the bus. I think I'm 10x slower, I work really hard & always burnt out.

Oh yeah here's the kicker, at 19 I started getting auditory & increasingly visual hallucinations ever since...i have a brilliant mind like I'm fkin Matilda after my trauma or some sh*t. I've been having de ja vu or precognitive dreams of my own life since I was a toddler, one of a week span smashed into 1 dream which was my strongest one. lately I don't remember my dreams since late 2023 😓 my gifts keep growing though & I swear I hear passed on family, friends, & even celebrities, & my calico cat of 15 yrs. Whatever it is I believe it's God given, but I don't know how to control it yet.

I have an amazing longterm memory I do remember my own birth (that's a good story too) My mind has a lot of knowledge to use but may be overloaded now as I've recently been having issues...Its why I write to get things down & vent.

I was diagnosed with "paranoid schizophrenia" w/ depression & anxiety, a lot of fam has mental issues it seems. Think I'm the only one diagnosed with mental illness but the eldest 2 boys should definitely get tested out for it too if they haven't seen a doctor already. There's alot of resentment from my family toward my mother cuz of her behavior in the past. As a God fearing woman I know better & choose to Honor my mom the best of my ability even if our relationship is strained, I know it's not her fault & it's the devil's work. She like my siblings are equally messed up by how our parents raised us, it's an viscous cycle of torture that needs to end, there's no love coming from most family & it makes me sick, family is supposed to stick together but we were left in the dust cuz they don't wanna deal with her. I believe the evil one has a grasp on people in many different ways, whether it be mental illness or hatred he causes havoc in everything he can, has a grasp on the people of earth. But the Father controls the universe, our story is prewritten & is a domino effect. My deja vu I've theorized it's like a time lapse of some kind, hope to God I haven't lived it already over & over that would be hell to me 🫤 Although never a dull moment that's for sure, oh if I could do it all over again ..... idk if I'd want to.

Fighting me on it & won't listen u have to have the patience of a saint. Doesn't like being proven wrong, very stubborn, mixed w/bipolar..gets angry. She keeps comparing me to my grandma. Think she's more mentally fked up than I am from her past too but I'm no psychologist. Luckily I raised myself to be better than that in this gen, self aware, I use logic & understanding but do stupid sh*t sometimes lol...I wanna break the cycle cuz it's a complete sh*t show. I don't want to be held back & torn down by family again & again just seems like even she doesn't care about me either sometimes. But she's getting old & cranky, wanna snap her out of it somehow. It's not a gypsy rose situation exactly I actually care I'm just annoyed & trying to get along with her, we do most of time.

And today I came to a starting discovery.

Seems I may need to check my mom for Alzheimer's/Dementia, think it's worse than I thought. She keeps having fits/episodes of memory loss & blaming me for things, thinks I touched her phone to change it to dark mode today but it's been that way for a month or so already & didn't believe me.

How to heal from the past when she won't give u room to breathe, thought i was making progress w/her, keeps buying cigs & soda everytime she has stamps or money & when she's out hits me up for money, I just got my 1st check & I'm trying to save, says I can say no but then bitches at me. I honestly don't understand her sometimes. And after the cigs are gone she's crankier which makes things worse. All the cigs she's had over maybe 2 yrs she could've had a car by now & I'm working my butt off for one, & all the food is eaten while I'm gone. Tried clensing the apt but just made her angry, mental illness or demons I can't tell sometimes.

I'm so tired I haven't slept after work yesterday & need it for brain function but I had 3 hrs to sleep b4 church this morning so decided to stay up ..idk how long I've been up actually my eyes hurt, Have 2 hopefully benign tumors in my head & she's stressing me the fk out. Church or sleep, was actually a good day. Was trying to recap to her on what I did today & I just got ready for church this morning, when did I have time to touch her phone? But doesn't listen at all & always threatens to kick me out when she's incapable of being her by herself anymore. And depending on an hour to the next day she fine again & tells me to ignore her. Fking crazy. I already have memory issues wtf happena when we both lose our damn minds. I have the choice between doing laundry to get tf outta here or watch the rewards show & rest my eyes...Bed looks good rn actually 🥱😴

[pokefanbri]

#Youtube

[pokefanbri]

You start dying slowly ;

if you do not travel,

if you do not read,

If you do not listen to the sounds of life,

If you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly :

When you kill your self-esteem,

When you do not let others help you.

You start dying slowly ;

If you become a slave of your habits,

Walking everyday on the same paths…

If you do not change your routine,

If you do not wear different colours

Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.

You start dying slowly :

If you avoid to feel passion

And their turbulent emotions;

Those which make your eyes glisten

And your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly :

If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain

If you do not go after a dream

If you do not allow yourself

At least once in your lifetime

To run away from sensible advice

Don't let yourself die slowly

Do not forget to be happy!

~ Pablo Neruda

[pokefanbri]

When u see subliminal messages in media just for you & mom doesn't believe you, & some are so obvious. But how are others supposed to see it if it's specifically meant for u to see. Talk about a beautiful mind. How deep is Alice going down the rabbit hole here & is there an archive cuz I feel a montage coming 😂 I'm onto u, what are u doin to me? It's not much of a surprise if I'm seeing hints everywhere & I catch on quick. You're not a time traveler so how the actual fk is some of it possible to begin with 🤯 Idk how to explain it. Old stuff & new, you're on a roll. I feel like it's building up to something cool & I hope to God I'm right. You're up to something. Seems like a lot of effort & wouldn't be for nothing, & goes back years. My love, Babie, ...u didn't have to, I'm really flattered. Maybe I'm imagining things but freaks me out but in a good way, totally seems like u studied in marketing to pull this off. Cuz it's u I'm not surprised. I'm sorry that it took a while to notice cuz things are dated way back. Since the 1st clue in 2021 I'm obsessed with finding more. I'm paying closer attention now & I'm learning, keep it coming if you'd like, I like it. I asked for more magic in my life & u delivered, u never cease to amaze me..u know I'm missing out. Idk how I can thank you, but thank you. Makes me feel special, I love u so much. Not just u but the whole team I appreciate, thank u too. Love u all like family.

You are so good that it hurts babie! Our meeting is like an overdue book, it's been so long. Hope to see you at the end of it & we'll have a beautiful reunion. Life does seem very fair does it, we keep missing each other like ships in the night. I can't wait to see u! I'm happy you're in my ❤️ always will be. Ever lasting love my King 👑

[pokefanbri]

I would die for you but would you die me

We belong together, it's us don't you see.

I saw you on one knee

And the altar, how can that be.

My dreams have been of you

And I wish you love me too.

Sorry I'm trying to rhyme

But we're wasting too much time.

My love for you is real

And a kiss let's seal the deal 💋

We'd meet one day and then I'd say

How I really feel

Waiting is the worst part

But you're really my heart

If there's something there we're not too far apart.

I can handle it, that's the truth

And Believe I can make it, not waste it in my youth.

If you want me I'm there, I'd do anything for you.

And it would be interesting to see 1 Angel then two!

Since I saw u it's been a while,

I'd like to meet you so bad & see that cute smile.

I hear you're the sweetest & have a huge heart,

I'd like to experience what really sets you apart.

And confirm my feeling since the very start.

My dream come true, my charming, my wish.

Maybe to break the spell we need 1 kiss.

But I'm hooked on you forever, I asked God to give me a sign

Only He knows the answer within His great design.

But why have I felt this way for so long

That by my side is you & it's right where I belong.

It would be a wish come true,

That the King & Queen of Freaks

is actually me & you.

Cause you would die for me

and I would die for you too

[pokefanbri]

I'm sitting waiting for the bus

Heavy is the crown by Daughtry pays in my headphones.

I envision during "lambs to the slaughter" millions of people heading to a big light & some fell into a big hole.

I felt like I was falling and I found myself hanging off the cliff of the pit.

I prayed and called upon God the legion of angels. "Please lift me out of this pit"

I look up & the angels all around me, their wings were so beautiful. Someone grabs my hand & I'm lifted up. I land on my feet. Someone touched my face, makes sure I'm alright. Everyone was familiar to me I was home.

I worry about the others in the pit & He said "Do not look back, Give her a robe"

As I put it on He said "Tell others what you saw here today, there will be a time when all must face becoming on the end days. The dates of heaven are narrow but open to all who seek it. You have light in you, I am with you always.

If your struggling, don't let the darkness win.

He's my father and he's your father that loves us so much & He's calling us home. This is my faith and I struggle a lot with it nobody is perfect. He finds you in the darkest of times when you need him most. Everything positive is Him, and just like any faith or religion I like to talk about it equally it's not a thing of shoving it down someone's throat it's the fact that I like talking about something that I'm interested in like everybody else. And it is the most beautiful thing I've ever been a part of that I've ever experienced in my life. If something so good is so wrong to talk about then I don't want to be right. Idk, as kids we were forced to go to church wear our Sunday best but as you get older you realize there's a reason for it. Children are innocent minded but as we become adults we're not so innocent anymore & we make mistakes. The children are already redeemed it's up to the older generations to know what to do & be good influence on others cuz we're supposed to know better. I've always wanted to be a mother but whatever God decides to take my life that's where I'll be. And I pray it's the best possible path and I could ever take cuz I swear I've seen parallel universe Bri's die in times I could have. Life is very short and I'm in the right life where Bri survived. I stepped on nails as a child that went right through my feet and I thank God for blessing me with that gift because there has never been a pain worse than that, that I've had to endure. Still no phone's broken lol. I may have a weird direction in life but God made sure I was okay and I still came to him anyway in the end, never had any doubt in Him. Never had a father growing up, so he's only one I need. One day I'll get my wings & be better for it.

[pokefanbri]

To a Shallow mind She is too Deep

for some to Swim.

The Intellectual Dept of a Beautiful

Woman is Sadly Unreached by many

who choose Not to dive beyond the

Surface of her skin.

༺꧁❤️꧂༻

My siSTAR.

You’re a Soul -Deep Woman ; you won’t find a worthy Love in the shallows.

Within your chest beats a Warriors Heart , and your bones are woven from star-dust.

You deserve someone who sees you as holy,

like the high priestess that you are.

Who worships at your altar as you do theirs, in body, mind, spirit and heart.

Someone whose words are prayers of reverence pressed openly against your bare soul.

Earth Mother, you deserve someone who sees that your wild medicine grows feral in the trees and honors it, not dismisses it.

Someone who sees the magic that surrounds you as you move between the worlds and feel between the layers of time.

Who understands that in every petal and branch, you see a ritual to be Awakened and know the names of the spells etched upon the stars.

Who howls to your Full Moon light as you summon the wildfire that stirs in their veins.

Medicine woman, you deserve someone who understands that to do your deep soul-work, to walk the path of your ancient mystery, is to disappear at times into the realm of the unseen, but that you will always return to them on the other side of the darkness.

That your love is strong enough to withstand time and space, and will last even when you move among the shadows and swim in the unknown.

My sister, you deserve someone who will choose you fully and actively seek to build a world with you — one of peace, love and passion.

A wanderer who longs for the little adventures that are found on a Saturday morning out on the open road, listening to songs that others make fun of.

You deserve a best friend who wants your calm, your storm and every loving breath in between.

One who understands the deep healing found in deep belly laughter, silliness and lying bare in one another’s arms.

For you, dear soul, only one who embraces you in your wholeness will ever do — someone who will never half-love you or pluck you only to watch you wither.

One who opens fully for you to behold their medicine as they do yours, one who will never be satisfied until their roots have penetrated all the way into the depths of your nourishing soil.

One who loves the fire in your veins and the thunder in your spirit. One who celebrates you for all that you are.

My dear sister, somewhere on this planet beats a heart deserving of your fire.

Somewhere, there is one worthy of your magic made of flesh, blood and spirit, who is not afraid to dance in your endless depths. One who will never settle for less than the brilliance that you are.

Take your throne, sister, rise up and take your crown. Hold your head high, for the one who can see that your bright light is a spirit with a warrior’s heart to match your own.

Those who are unworthy can never truly see.

Never settle for the shade when you were born to shine.

My sister, never forget that you are a soul-deep woman, and you won’t find a worthy love in the shallows.”~

Picture - My Daughter!!

Copyright ©

Creator Writer Author ✍️

Mike Harrigan.

All Rights Reserved

I Am.

You Are.

We Are.

Oneness.

Universal Consciousness..

🔥🕎🔯🕉️ 🔥

💎 ❤️💚💙💜❤️ 💎

♀️☯️♂️

💞♏♌💞

❤️ 🌟 🌎🌍🌏🌟 ❤️

[pokefanbri]

"I am a monster. I told you that."

"Yes, you did. And then you kissed me anyway."

[pokefanbri]

[pokefanbri]

She’s used to being the strong one.

She knows what it’s like to be alone and facing battles that feel overwhelming.

But that’s her life and she’s long accepted it the way it is.

She’s not going to be a victim, complain or seek help to get through her days,

For she has long known that she alone will be the one fighting for her peace, survival and sometimes, sanity.

Truly, all she seeks is happiness…

And it’s often the one thing that eludes her.

But she’ll keep showing up and keep trying.

That’s who she is and how she is built…

Pieces together from the often broken pieces of the times that she’s fallen apart and gotten back up and tried again.

Lovers have broken her heart, friends have let her down and people have disappointed her.

But she still keeps hoping and loving anyways.

She won’t let the failures of the past darken her hopes for the future.

She believes in love, dreams and herself.

She fights to become the woman she wants to be.

She chooses to never give up.

She’s many things, but she’ll never stay in one spot and doesn’t expect perfection in her life..

But she pushes herself every day to be better than she was yesterday.

Maybe someone will come along one day that doesn’t try to tame her wild heart and won’t seek to cage her passionate spirit,

But she hasn’t found it yet…

But it doesn’t mean she will give up hope.

But until that day,

She will do what she always has done.

Pick up her sword and fight the battles with unrelenting strength and fiery resolve.

She’s a unique and strong woman..

And that’s just what she does.

She knows the sun always rises on a new day..

So she keeps dreaming of the day when she will see the sunrise holding the hand of the one she loves.

Then, she will finally be able to rest.

|ravenwolf

Follow me on TikTok for exclusive content: @theravenwolf

Check out my full collection of 7 books!

https://houseofravenwolf.com/collections/frontpage/products/copy-of-ravenwolfs-complete-works-books-1-7-with-bonus-signed-unsigned-versions-available-x

[pokefanbri]

I've probably played and watched these missions 100x by now, for entertainment and research purposes. It is so well done, bravo. 😊🎮

GTA 5 Story mode Strangers & Freaks missions with Al Di Napoli Representing Criss Angel. Enjoy!

[pokefanbri]

I love conspiracy theories ☺️ but of course we should have faith, our history is so mysterious u can't help but be curious.

If you are true believer that you know that Jesus is coming back. Believe in him and he will make sure we are okay with the end of days is upon us. Be prepared, look around you, the signs are everywhere, I say this all the time the four horsemen have already shown themselves and it's only a matter of time. Be good with God before anything bad happens. Follow Him to the end as a true disciple of Jesus, do good deeds and be good to your fellow man & we will be rewarded in heaven. In these modern days we have to keep awareness of these dangers but know that He has us in His hands, mercy on us all 🙏

#Youtube

[pokefanbri]

This is a powerful lesson…

A high school class is learning about the Salem Witch Trials. Their teacher told them they were going to play a game.

"I'm going to come around and whisper to each of you whether you're a witch or a regular person. Your goal is to build the largest group possible that does NOT have a witch in it. At the end, any group found to include a witch gets a failing grade."

The teens dove into grilling each other. One fairly large group formed, but most of the students broke into small, exclusive groups, turning away anyone they thought gave off even a hint of guilt.

"Okay," the teacher said. "You've got your groups. Time to find out which ones fail. All witches, please raise your hands."

No one raised a hand.

The kids were confused and told the teacher he'd messed up the game. "Did I?” He asked.

"Was anyone in Salem an actual witch? Or did everyone just believe what they'd been told?"

And that is how you show kids how easy it is to divide a Community.

Shunning, scapegoating, placing blame and dividing will each destroy far more than they will protect.

Don’t allow fear to cloud your decisions. Use your own discernment. Trust your heart…and your gut.

The best teachers will show you where to look, but they won’t tell you what to see.

~Unknown

[pokefanbri]

I don’t know why you stir up my soul like no other,

you just do.

I tell myself it’s okay.

You won’t always have all the answers,

you won’t always figure out why things happen the way they do.

Some things just don’t make sense.

Things like you and I.

.

#paulaluisepoetry

.

Artwork by MS Artwork

[pokefanbri]

💞💓❤️‍🔥💋🌹🍷

#Youtube

[pokefanbri]

Jesus Christ's Resurrection

KJV

John 20:1 -20:31

The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre.

Then she runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and saith unto them, They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him.

Peter therefore went forth, and that other disciple, and came to the sepulchre.

So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre

And he stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in.

Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie,

And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself.

Then went in also that other disciple, which came first to the sepulchre, and he saw, and believed.

For as yet they knew not the scripture, that he must rise again from the dead

Then the disciples went away again unto their own home.

But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre,

And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.

And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.

And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.

Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.

Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.

Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.

Mary Magdalene (the 13th disciple & Jesus's wife) came and told the disciples that she had seen the Lord, and that he had spoken these things unto her.

Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.

And when he had so said, he shewed unto them his hands and his side. Then were the disciples glad, when they saw the Lord.

Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.

And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost:

 whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained.

But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came.

The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.

And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!”

Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.”

And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God

Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.

And many other signs truly did Jesus in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book:

But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.

[pokefanbri]

There are nights when I get emotional for no reason at all, and somehow I'd like to think that it's my heart weeping for my dreams that didn't come true. I guess I'd been so used to people talking about how painful a broken heart is, but this kind, I've come to learn, is something that hits differently. Time may make it feel better, but little random moments remind me of those things that I used to pray for, I used to work hard for, that I had to let go because they just weren't working out no matter how hard I try—and then I break a little.

I know that in life, finding contentment in what we have is key to happiness. But maybe the heart really doesn't forget. Maybe the stars do weep at night. Whatever the case is, my little hope is that those dreams I had to let go, those little things that shine and that person I so wished to have become, I hope that they're all broken pieces of the puzzle and one day, they will fall into their rightful place to show me something more beautiful than what my heart could ever ask for.

—Jun Mark Patilan

Artwork: hessah._.art (IG)

// my self-published poetry books are available here: https://shp.ee/q32fwqt