proteuus

[proteuus]

not that I have been very active on tumblr much anyway, but I am officially signing off for good </3 my instagram is @/elliotnoahpatterson if u want to follow me there :-)

#I'm not using instagram either at the moment but I intend on re-downloading it at some point #I did post a picture the other day but I just downloaded the app then posted it then immediately deleted the app again lol

[proteuus]

should I pretend to be a boy or a girl while I try to illegally sneak my overweight bag onto the airplane. probably a girl right. no one would expect a girl to be able to carry a bag more than 10 kg

#i forgot to weigh it before i left but it just feels heavy.... i think it's too heavy i only paid for 10 kg #but maybe it isn't overweight maybe i really am just a girl who can't lift more than 10 kg

[proteuus]

the coffee in the ryanair terminal is awful but whatever thanks for the cheap flight girl

#btw milk town just dropped u should all listen to it

[proteuus]

after I detransitioned or w/e I started using the women's bathroom again sometimes and it's so much nicer than the men's omg. like the difference is insane

#I didn't really detrans I consider myself genderfluid now but I stopped taking testosterone #mostly because I forgot lol but then I just stopped forever #sometimes I put on a necklace and take off my big coat and use the women's room #and sometimes I take off my necklace and put on a coat to use the men's room. as is convenient for me #I don't know if this is ethical but it's great for me and no one has ever bothered me

[proteuus]

I journal obsessively but actually one of the best ways to assess my mental state is to read my school assignments. the reflection journals I wrote for my spanish class last year are so funny. my manic episode started halfway through the semester and it was like

reflection 1: I find the subjunctive tense challenging at times, however, I find its artistic implications very compelling.

reflection 2: I used to use the class period to write in my diary about my ex boyfriend, but then I stopped doing that and I found I learned a lot more. I also started watching catboy amvs while I do my assignments and I think it adds a certain je ne sais quoi to my work

like. girl what

#that's not a verbatim excerpt from my reflection but explaining the ex boyfriend and catboy amv thing is real #I can feel this quality creeping into my current assignments/emails and I am trying to resist it like someone trying to resist an evil curs #mental illness #bipolar

[proteuus]

[proteuus]

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

[proteuus]

just realized my hw assignment is a podcast so I can play minecraft while I listen to it !!!!!!! YES

[proteuus]

you’re very special to me *gives you this*

[proteuus]

siphonophores will never not freak me out. stop doing that its SCARY but also please don't ever stop doing that you ethereal marine cryptid

[proteuus]

#saw these when I was walking around tonight #europe is insane they just have this stuff laying around #if my study abroad had coincided with the peak of my dark academia era that would have been insane #I don't think I could have completed that responsibly tbh I think the power of that combination would have killed me idk

[proteuus]

#art museum I went to yesterday :-)

[proteuus]

A windy day with a moderate temperature will make you feel like you got reborn into a world that really loves you this time

[proteuus]

just booked my trip to vienna :-0 ! ! ! ! ! !

#I can't believe they made the city from the billy joel song real... <3 #also that song is good but at 13 I was listening to vienna by the fray and idk if the lyrics are as meaningful #but just listening to it the sound of the song is absolutely devastating #anyway yeah I didn't think I would be able to go on another trip but then my dad said he'd pay for it. say less #(also I forgot I decided I would live with my parents for my senior year of college so I'll actually not have to worry about money much)

[proteuus]

[proteuus]

Anaïs Nin, from The Voice

[proteuus]

i like the idea of doing shakespeare adaptations set in high school a la 10 things i hate about you or she's the man but i feel like we're missing some opportunities by only doing the comedies. i wanna see macbeth but it's about a really high stakes student council election