puppia

[puppia]

2018

How funny literally 4 years ago I decided to change my routine at a time of my life I desperately wanted to do something. I went to dayshift from working nights for 4 years. I don't regret it at all. I missed working w/ the people on nights but I don't think I could trade benefits of being on a normal cycle. No more insomnia, feeling drunk from no sleep, and honestly some days I felt like went into a work mode where I truly was not happy. Now I'm throwing myself into a different role. I've learned that I like to learn new things. I feel versatile and knowledgeable. I wanted to mark today because I realized several things.

I had my annual review. I must say it was probably the best one I've had ever. I feel like it has really highlighted how much I've grown as a nurse. I've never really had a bad annual review because really I know I'm a good nurse. Just hearing some of the comments that others have said about me I was just surprised. Since coming to dayshift 4 years ago I knew there several things right away I had to work on. 1. I'm too nice to a point that I know other people would take advantage. I'm still working on this because there are just times I need to say no. 2. I'm usually a people pleaser to a point. I've learned I don't need everyone to like me, I just need to be able to professionally get along with everyone. I've become an undercover bitch. I still don't feel comfortable in tense confrontations but I'm still working on saying something right away. 3. Feeling competent and being honest. I've learned this a long time ago but I do not try and act like I know something when I don't. Im not afraid to say, "I don't know." I know I have grown so much and proud of myself from what I have accomplished. Someone had written I was fearless. I didn't think I could be fearless lol. I know I'm not afraid to try or learn new things but it was a nice surprise. Someone else stated I was a good resource and confident and competent when it came to making clinical decisions. I'm not afraid to ask questions to things I don't know about so I can agree with this statement. I come to work w/ a big smile and can be firm with a patient about pain medications and if they are uncooperative or grumpy can usually still make that patient's day. I don't let no patient manipulate me especially with pain medication. No boo boo. Lastly, Im a positive influence which help with unit morale. I know I laugh a lot and it can be infectious..

I shadowed for a different department. I actually liked it a lot. I can see myself there which puts me in a difficult pickle with the new position I took. It also has made me realize It actually makes me want to come to work. Since Covid hit there has been many times I hated coming into work. Bed side nursing is difficult and challenging. It is frontline. I've realized for so many years it's my coworkers that I've really enjoyed and are reason I was able to get through the toughest times when I was at work. I also realized change can be difficult and scary especially putting yourself out there but also I learned just how much I can push myself as well.

2 more weeks. When I started nursing I had a goal of leaving bedside in 5 years. At 5 years I didn't have a plan in place to position myself to maneuver out. I went back to get my BSN. I thought after getting that I would have a plan. I didn't, instead I got comfortable. There has been so much movement and changes happening I decided to go along with it. I've pulled the trigger to get get myself closer to my goal of transitioning out of bedside. I will miss some components of it and there are some I will not. I just hope I will be happy. Hopefully no regrets.

[puppia]

Glad I survived another year and another roadtrip.. #35thbirthdaycelebration #latepost📷 #droughtisrealpeople #fearofheightsconquered👊😂 https://www.instagram.com/p/CQQDI1pjnBvTmbgeUoUf01DKw1lu05i0BSf-q00/?utm_medium=tumblr

#35thbirthdaycelebration #latepost📷 #droughtisrealpeople #fearofheightsconquered👊😂

[puppia]

I already can’t wait to come back…I’ll be prepared next time! #goals #swimminghole #burneyfalls #mccloudfalls #chasingwaterfalls #latepostbirthday https://www.instagram.com/p/CQQAxjiDS0gjBmTWo9twJIXFsP1YiC_YS9w5lM0/?utm_medium=tumblr

#goals #swimminghole #burneyfalls #mccloudfalls #chasingwaterfalls #latepostbirthday

[puppia]

Hike and then oysters..#backseatpicnic #oliverainthavinit #🌬☀️ (at Tomales Bay)

#backseatpicnic #🌬☀️ #oliverainthavinit

[puppia]

Change

Change is hard. Guaranteed that everything and everyone always changes.  An opportunity has come up that I’m heavily considering. It has come at a time where I’m breaking my routine completely. So maybe this is a sign. 

I haven’t listened to the rational side yet. I promised myself a while ago that I would try things even if it scared me. So maybe i just need to throw myself into it. 

[puppia]

DAAAAAAAAMN BERNIE, SAVAGE AS FUCK

[puppia]

I can’t tell if i’m just really tired or getting depressed..there are days i sleep most of the day and days where I don’t sleep at all...I need to get away man..

You don’t understand

[puppia]

But what happens when there’s only one of us left?

[puppia]

yes

[puppia]

Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They’re just an interpretation, they’re not a record, and they’re irrelevant if you have the facts.

[puppia]

[puppia]

Insanity is repeating the same action over and over again yet expecting a different outcome

(via sunshinecries)

[puppia]

There are inevitably times when it feels like you’re stagnant, when you feel a little foreign from what you used to be or what you expected to be now–feelings of directionlessness are common with big life changes

It just takes a while (sometimes a long while) of searching, of keeping yourself motivated to move forward and grow, but that’s okay 

[puppia]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76n2Rtm3tsw)

[puppia]

[puppia]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2-qaK13u5o)

[puppia]

Some secrets are safer kept hidden. Some secrets are too dangerous to share, even with those you love and trust.

A Game Of Thrones, George R. R. Martin (via nebarando)