radialarch

[radialarch]

#writing music folder #writing what? who can say #love this despite the shades of greige but like. the taskmaster weirdos can't fuck to this

[radialarch]

remember in like 2007 when everyone was poking each other on facebook

#just reminded today of it for some reason #can't fathom why #blogger yells at void

[radialarch]

troubling

#lmao here til end of service i assume #blogger yells at void

[radialarch]

abruptly having the most incomprehensible breakdown ever i think but tonight i am thinking about the iskryne books, where emotionally repressed protags get soulbonded to wolves & and then when the wolves go into heat they get fucked about it with clenched teeth because of the emotional repression

so: thinking about this & also about most emotionally repressed man of all time jo yeong, do you see where i'm going

#i'm not even reading these right now do you understand. i am reading pern #but the vibes are more correct for jo yeong with the wolves #it is CORRECT that the royal guards are a wolf pack & jo yeong's wolf is mated to lee gon's wolf #& still every fucking time jo yeong thinks he's crossing a line & it's the only time he ever wonders what if he'd never bonded #anyway i thought about this & my heart fully clenched into a fist how can i read a cool 50k of this incredibly niche concept immediately #send help. #blogger yells at void

[radialarch]

so I can't actually look at your taskmaster posts straight on bc it's like looking at some sort of like higher being and I'm simply not strong enough. But I still want to ask you about it bc I really like TM!

Do you have a favorite season? A favorite contestant? Do you have thoughts on Liza Tarbuck's final task?

asdfa;j;kl anon i'm so sorry for the unhinged tweets but this is so funny to me. how do you watch the show. liza literally said alex had "a greedy bottom" on air & i HAVE to assume alex enjoyed this because it aired! on the television show which alex executively produces! god fucking bless.

also THE TASK was to "tell the taskmaster you love him in the most meaningful way" and at no point did anyone feel the need to pause & explain why having alex sit on a cake would be meaningful to greg, presumably because every single episode prior to this one had already made it perfectly clear.

there are such delightful moments in basically every series and if i talked about them all we would genuinely be here all day but here's some quick standouts:

series 5

the songs about rosalind were SUCH bangers? mark & nish's in particular was a triumph, loved when they revealed their musical talents. overall greg's dynamic with nish was SO funny. i really enjoy when they have secret contestant-specific tasks & want every single cheeky text revealed. sally is also... so hot, my god. nail that watercooler.

series 7

everyone had such a good dynamic, greg had a fantastic time, rhod tried to strip alex every episode, just chaotic as hell. james absolutely breaking in studio, phil leaning into the dick, everyone was game for anything & it really gelled wonderfully. sidebar the nearly-nude picture of greg is GREAT, i won't let anyone say anything otherwise.

series 15

"this is a show about pedantry" frankie is so correct and his delivery is impeccable, he made me cry-laugh so many times. ivo is a hopeful puppy and i loved it every time anyone suggested he needed a refund from eton. mae is obviously the hottest of them all but kiell subbing in for coc was also a delight. a lovely cast.

series 16

how are the sues so adorable???? i love that they became bffs immediately. also susan is the CUTEST, her outfits were incredible, and rada was obviously worth all thirty grand from the way she mimed every idiom to perfection. julian's dynamic with alex, also unmatched. genuinely the unhinged energy in this one was off the charts.

#some kind of human interaction #i started the back catalog at s4 so going back to see the early dynamics has been SO fascinating #just a dude about to embark on a journey of self-discovery; and also alex #he claims he's only there to be eye-candy and admin in series TWO #like congratulations on training your perfect top #did you have to drag the whole nation along though #a completely normal television show

[radialarch]

family-friendly (M | 1k | Alex/Julian)

“I'd like you to kneel down here,” Julian says, and points to the carpet at his feet.

just to be clear: this isn't rpf so much as it is just writing down what happened in s16e10

#taskmaster #listen. i don't choose what to write. #what a fucking show. congratulations to the man who orchestrated an entire elaborate universe #in order to -- as far as i can tell -- get humiliated on national television as hard & as often as possible #good for him. follow your fucking dreams #anyway this is about a man putting another man on his knees and spitting in his face #a real thing that happened on real television #welp have some writing #a completely normal television show

[radialarch]

@softbrah

highly recommend the gentle art of fortune hunting bc the “I’m yours for the month to do with what you will” vibe is very fun

i'm HERE, i'm SCREAMING

i have read... so many kj charles so rapidly over the space of a week and a half, here's a ranking of my faves

charm of magpies (original trilogy): lucien vaudrey constantly does SO much to drive action and is SO fun about it, 10/10, more tattoos please

an unnatural vice (sins of the cities 2): justin and nathaniel abysmally failing not to fuck despite their better judgment, god. great dynamic, great shenanigans

spectred isle: saul and randolph constantly falling over each other suspiciously? extremely good. randolph being compelled to give saul a weird baptism for some reason? sir that is your dick talking.

the band sinister: tell me more about rookwood/corvin tbh, i'm haunted by that blowjob

any old diamonds (lilywhite boys 1): kjc write more dubcon

will darling adventures: i feel like kim's pov might have made me really feral about these

the ruin of gabriel ashleigh (society of gentlemen 0.5): KJC WRITE MORE DUBCON

#“gentle” “art” #god i hope this is ruinous (positive) #blogger yells at void

[radialarch]

i have read... so many kj charles so rapidly over the space of a week and a half, here's a ranking of my faves

charm of magpies (original trilogy): lucien vaudrey constantly does SO much to drive action and is SO fun about it, 10/10, more tattoos please

an unnatural vice (sins of the cities 2): justin and nathaniel abysmally failing not to fuck despite their better judgment, god. great dynamic, great shenanigans

spectred isle: saul and randolph constantly falling over each other suspiciously? extremely good. randolph being compelled to give saul a weird baptism for some reason? sir that is your dick talking.

the band sinister: tell me more about rookwood/corvin tbh, i'm haunted by that blowjob

any old diamonds (lilywhite boys 1): kjc write more dubcon

will darling adventures: i feel like kim's pov might have made me really feral about these

the ruin of gabriel ashleigh (society of gentlemen 0.5): KJC WRITE MORE DUBCON

#my kingdom for an entire novel of lucien's shanghai days #blogger yells at void

[radialarch]

unfortunately want to write again... don't know what about

#send prompts frankly #i'm really at a point where i need to become insane about two people #blogger yells at void

[radialarch]

omegaverse tkem where the first thing jo yeong does when he presents is ask lee gon to bite him, because lee gon will always be his first duty so what's the point in pretending someone else can have him

jo yeong, lee gon's teeth imprinted silver into the junction of shoulder and throat, at age fifteen, seventeen, twenty-one. the heat that throbs there, not quite his own. no one else can touch him. lee gon with his arm thrown joyously over jo yeong's shoulders, nudging his elbow conspiratorially into yeong's side, his presence as palpable as a kiss.

jo yeong takes two days off a month, spends it alone. he's already got everything he's allowed to want. the rest he locked away when lee gon broke skin.

#need to exorcise this before it makes me insane #sorry just. [clenches fist] bond of convenience. #of course jo yeong sees this as obvious. of course it's all he can let himself want. #lee gon's teeth aching possessively every time he spots yeong's collar shift over the scars but yeong never tells him when he's taken leave #duty's just another word for love

[radialarch]

have you considered that vampire (human) is actually much lighter even than a human child, accounting for how in some mythologies vampires are able to levitate or move with superhuman speed?

excellent, excellent. if we do not want to commit to the destructive power of fifty thousand nukes we should examine other possibilities.

the density of a human person is apparently very near water (1000 kg/m^3), so a human weighing 60kg has a volume of 0.060 m^3. what if the vampire (human) weighs the same as the vampire (bat)? that would give vampire (human) a density of 0.0024 kg/m^3.

things that are denser than our extremely light vampire:

air at stp (~1.2 kg/m^3)

air at the top of mount everest (~0.55 kg/m^3)

helium at stp (~0.17 kg/m^3)

hydrogen, the lightest gas, at stp (~0.089 kg/m^3)

air on mars, mostly carbon dioxide (~0.015 kg/m^3)

six times less dense than the atmosphere on mars! no wonder they don't show up in the mirror

#the second simple trick to escaping a vampire is just running straight through them like they are a fog #some kind of human interaction

[radialarch]

so this is a reasonable proposal, and here's the fun part about e = mc^2, which is that c^2 is just so unbelievably large that plugging in a human weight at 10kg (size of a small child) and bat at 2kg (twice the size of largest known bats) will still give you not only an explosion worth thousands of nukes, but also a vampire you can identify because you will either be able to fling a snobby caped adult into the air like a toddler, OR a bat is hitting you in the face with the exact same force as a goddamn brick

#is a vampire menacing you in his castle? try this one simple trick of just throwing him away! #blogger yells at void

[radialarch]

assuming the heaviest common vampire bat and the lightest adult human:

e = mc^2 = (60-0.04 kg)c^2 ≈ 5.389e9 gigajoules ≈ 1.288 million kilotons of TNT

for reference here's the estimate for energy released during the trinity atomic bomb test

#[animorphs voice] the mass gets stored in z-space #blogger yells at void

[radialarch]

#blogger yells at void

[radialarch]

covid knocked me out for a week & i spent a large chunk of it doing an mdzs reread, & apparently i am in the mood to be tender about big complicated feelings! so here are my two favorite juniors fics about missing people who are gone, and people who are here, the terrible heartclenching ways you love your family

your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian (G | 10.5k | Lan Sizhui-centric)

“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”

Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.

“I’m all right,” he croaks.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

A Matter of Technicality by impossibletruths (T | 17k | Jin Ling-centric)

In his defense—not that he needs one, of course, because he’s done nothing wrong, technically, for the most part, but if he did he’d have this one ready, just in case—Jingyi started it.

Jin Ling comes up with a foolproof plan to repair his uncles' relationship. Unfortunately, his uncles can be very, very stupid.

#sorry i still don't have an mdzs tag #anyway. in a mood about stories where love will save you #this is funny bc i did take the first part of the week to read he who drowned the world #a story about how love is not enough #ouyang my beloved #anyway. #recs: fic

[radialarch]

what mental illness is it when you abruptly grow so incredibly annoyed by your own hair that you have to buzz it off every two months

#me (wrong): oh maybe i'll grow my hair out a little more this time #me when the hair grows half an inch: this situation is an immediate threat to my well-being #blogger yells at void

[radialarch]

Sometimes, fires break out at places that are very popular. If there's a fire at the entrance, customers run to the exit. But that single exit door may not open. Why not? Because some asshole parked a truck in front of it. If you hire us, we'll prevent such bizarre accidents from happening. Boss. Okay. Write down your bank details.

사자 THE DIVINE FURY (2019), dir. Kim Joo Hwan / Jason Kim

[ID in ALT]

#middle gif came into my house and took me OUT #i would die happy at just the glimpse of his cuff under the jacket sleeve #one days my dreams will come true and he will kiss a man on-screen #& on that day i will simply expire #wdh national treasure #'which nation' all of them.