rebeccamadams
It's about what you leave behind
feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen
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A heaven of their own 😊
A step by step process of this will be available at my Patreon on october 1st
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“healing involves taking responsibility for ways in which you’ve let yourself down as well. not in a way of guilting yourself for the times you didn’t love yourself the way you needed to, but in a way of acknowledging any parts of you that may still feel heavy. forgive yourself.”
— iambrillyant
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SPN - One-shot
Useless drabble that came to mind one night. I do not do this for a living
WARNINGS: Panic Attack symptoms, heyyyy I write what I know xD
You stood rooted to the spot. You couldn’t move, every limb was frozen and not responding to your minds’ desperate pleas to run away. You weren’t in danger. You knew you weren’t in danger. But your mind was playing it’s horrible tricks on you, convincing you that you needed to flee. Now.
Your breath was coming in short bursts, an enormous weight on your chest constricting your lungs and making you dizzy from the little bit of oxygen you were getting into your system.
You managed to make your way down to the ground, leaning against one of the many bookshelves in the library of the bunker for support. Reaching the cold hardwood floor, you pulled your knees up to your chest and hugged them as close to your body as you could. By then the tears were streaming freely down your face in endless concession, you were no longer able to hold them back. Your mind was racing, a thousand thoughts a minute keeping up in time with your frantic heart beats.
You faintly registered hearing footsteps coming towards you. Weird, as you had thought you were alone in the bunker.
You recognized your name being said from across the room, it sounded like it was eons away. But you couldn’t respond. You could barely hear anything, sounds coming in through your ears as if you were underwater, waves crashing into you in bursts. There was no way that you were cognitive enough to respond.
The echoing footsteps stopped in front of you, you registered a hand that had come to rest gently on your knee. Your name was said again, softly this time, not as abrupt as it was before.
Your hair was brushed back out of your face, the hand wiping away some of the tears that were still cascading down your cheeks. You felt an arm go under the bend in your knees, another one on your shoulders, pulling you away from the bookcase. You felt yourself being lifted up, your instinct to clutch tightly into whoever had you giving you the ability to move slightly. You buried your face in their neck, one hand clutching their shirt, the other wrapping around their shoulders as if your life depended on it.
The warmth, the comfort of another body so close, you started sobbing even heavier. Shivers racked your frame as you heard a quiet ‘shhh’ing’ from the person carrying you.
They took you to your room, gently placing you on your bed and covering you with your multitude of blankets. One last brush of your hair to the side, and the person started walking toward the door.
‘Stay?’ You managed to squeak out, wiping your eyes. Your sight had barely adjusted but you were still able to see the silhouette of the trench coat, lit dimly from the hallway light.
He paused in the doorway, looked at you over his shoulder, hesitant. Unsure if, in your current state, you remembered the events of the prior day with Chuck and the boys.
‘Lu-Lucifer? Please stay.’ You managed to get out in-between sobs. You remembered and you knew that you should care... probably. But actions speak louder than words, right? He did just help you after all and you had no desire to be alone right now.
He walked over to you slowly, thinking you’d come to your senses and yell at him to get out of your room. But you didn’t. You scooted over on your bed to make room for him. He was doing his best to appear aloof as he looked at you. You wondered why he was being nice, but decided at the moment you just didn’t care. In all honesty, you couldn’t help wondering when the last time was that someone wanted to simply be in his company? Probably not anytime recently, you’d assumed. He cautiously laid down next to you, the bed creaking a bit under the added weight.
You could see the slight hesitation in his eyes, unsure if this was the right move. You tried to take a breath to steady your frayed nerves, and ended up choking on a sob instead. Despite this you smiled at him shyly trying to be reassuring, then grabbed a hold of him and inched closer, bringing your head to rest on his chest.
He didn’t move for a moment, clearly uncomfortable with the situation he had gotten himself in to. You let out an unwilling sob again. He sighed and adjusted to you and settled in. He moved an arm around your shoulders pulling you closer to him, his instincts telling him to stop these ridiculous actions immediately. But he decided against listening to his inner voice, why, even he didn’t know. But he did know that he needed to hold you close as your sobs racked your tired, now aching body. He cleared his throat.
‘Go to sleep now,’ his hand started to trace circles on your arm, ‘you’re safe.’ he whispered into your hair. You’re safe… who am I right now? He rolled his eyes at himself, disappointed in these soft actions.
Your tears started drying up, heart coming back to a normal uncrazed rhythm, a warmth spreading through every muscle in your body, easing the tension away. You assumed it was his doing. Working some of his infamous angel grace into you, easing the strain from your attack. He was succeeding. You were sleeping peacefully before you could even register how relaxed you finally felt.
He looked down at you, taking note of your steady, easy breaths that were now laced with sleep. He smirked and said to no one in particular, ‘Alright... so maybe not all you humans are abominations.’
#spn#spn lucifer#casifer#supernatural family#supernatural imagine#lucifer x reader#spn lucifer x reader
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