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[robot-thighs]

a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this

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[robot-thighs]

"if you ship this thing it's because you're too naïve to understand that it's toxic and that you wouldn't like a relationship like this" actually it's because I see one of them as a mentos drop and the other as a bottle of coke zero and I want to watch the mess they'll be together

[robot-thighs]

[robot-thighs]

Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.

That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)

If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:

How to clean dishes by hand

How to make your bed (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to fold clothes (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to take a shower & dry yourself off (also provides ways to shave beards, armpits, legs and genitals)

How to shave legs, armpits, beards, pubic areas, etc. (a more in-depth guide)

How to mop the floor

How to sweep the floor

How to swallow pills

How to make small talk

How to make eye contact in different situations (or how to avoid it while still looking natural)

It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

[robot-thighs]

#sailor moon

[robot-thighs]

[robot-thighs]

do u have a vibrator in ur pants or is ur penis just so scared

[robot-thighs]

Either people need to learn how to tell the difference between an “I’m sorry” that takes direct responsibility and an “I’m sorry” that signifies sympathy, or I’m gonna start responding to unfortunate information with a solemn nod and a “Sympies,” because I am tired of receiving a “Why? It wasn’t your fault” every time I try to vocalize compassion.

[robot-thighs]

please help them find snart

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what the point of mmf threesomes if the dudes don’t fag out a lil

[robot-thighs]

well that neighbor feud took an amusing turn.

[robot-thighs]

Reblogging would be a great help, but don’t feel pressured to

#vote 3

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i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday

[robot-thighs]

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

[robot-thighs]

Oh well. Just learned how to draw Brainstorm. Celebrated it by putting them in the situation 👍

#transfoama #simpatico #gasp

[robot-thighs]

matching icons for you and your colleague significant other <3

got new brushes and trying different teniques™

btw send fic recs

#transfoama #simpatico #THEY