romantic-reveries

[romantic-reveries]

why have to wait a whole year to celebrate a new beginning when everyday is new and is bringing something new and perhaps unexpected… when you can always go to sleep and wake up to a sunrise you’ve never seen before… i think we should start celebrating new days. happy new day!

[romantic-reveries]

horizon forbidden west scenery - part 43

[romantic-reveries]

[romantic-reveries]

[romantic-reveries]

Today is wearing on me and it’s only 10 AM.

Yesterday, we left work early to spend TWO HOURS at the vet for an annual appointment. In what fucking world should we have had to wait that long? Anyway, whatever, fine. We leave. We make it to my craniosacral therapy appointment in the nick of time. Somehow we accidentally double booked for the same day, but being that the vet was at 3:30 and my appointment was at 6, that seemed, in theory, like plenty of time.

So we leave, and it’s 7 pm. We need to eat. We decide on Chili’s, where they seat us, and no joke, not one server even acknowledges us as we sit there for twenty minutes, not even with drinks. Not a “I’ll be with you in a moment!”, nothing. I totally understand that places are short-staffed, I get food taking awhile to come out, but to have MULTIPLE of them walk by, to have the hostess who seated us walk by us repeatedly to clean tables and not once notice that we didn’t even have DRINKS? Crazy. So we leave, and she’s like “oh, bye! Thanks for coming!” Fucking weirdo??

So we go somewhere else, finally get food, go home. Great, cool. Except it’s like 8 pm. So we eat. I shower. I stay up until almost 1, thinking surely that’s enough time to digest, right?

Except I wake up this morning and the back of my nose is stuffy and burning from reflux. Hurts worse than it ever has, and I start the morning crying.

And all that, really, having a late therapy appointment on a weekend when I usually do them on Sunday, so I can spend this weekend with my boyfriend who I know loves me—I know. And I try to be rational and logical. I don’t truly believe anything has changed. But I’ve known him for a few months shy of a year, and suddenly it’s become an issue where when he has his kids every other week, they apparently hog his phone in the evenings until it dies, so I feel like we’re not even talking that much anymore, which is frustrating to me? We don’t HAVE to talk every evening, but we did for ages. He was so consistent about calling every single evening, barring him falling asleep on the couch or something. And I like having the option of talking to him if I want to. Talking about our days. And I’ll call, and it rings, which means it isn’t dead yet. So either they have it, see me calling and ignore it so they can talk to their friends (they literally both have laptops and a tablet??) or he’s lying. Which I don’t think he is, and again, it’s fine if he doesn’t want to talk everyday, but it feels like this almost intentional unavailability. If he WANTED to talk to me that bad, he’d go be like “hey I need my phone” or he’d ask his company for a new one, since he needs one anyone. It’s old and doesn’t even hold a charge for a whole day anymore. Or he’d get his kids a landline or one of those cheap cellphones that only have a calling feature so they can talk to their friends or whatever. And then I get in my head about how maybe he just doesn’t care as much now about talking to me often. I dunno—time moves on and novelty wears off, right?

And then I just feel like I’m being a petty whiny baby and I’m probably just tired and I’m sick of not feeling good again lately and I hate this stupid country and everything it’s been doing and that we all just have to march on like everything is normal and I get that it’s probably not actually the stuff I’m fixating on, but still.

#personal

[romantic-reveries]

How to Ride a Werewolf

Now remember, a lady rides sidesaddle, NOT astride. Your mother would be in hysterics at the very idea that a daughter of hers would ride a werewolf astride! Why, next you’ll be showing ankle…

#LMFAO

[romantic-reveries]

[romantic-reveries]

[romantic-reveries]

Tell me why I reached out to this man today that I used to want to be with because I was… being nostalgic, I guess? And was like, y’know, more friends is never a bad thing. I just couldn’t be friends with him right in the thick of everything, but now I’m with someone else and very in love so why not?

That said, realistically our friendship was only a few months long initially, and one in-person visit, and I assumed it only meant so much to me because of how much I liked him romantically.

Tell me why this man says he’s been meaning to reach out because he’s reading a book right now and his bookmark is “our ticket from the aquarium”… which we went to in December of 2022. We’ve spoken only a few times and not very in-depth since about February or March of last year? And he still has it available and is using it as a bookmark??? I can’t even excuse it as me thinking through a hopeful romantic lens or whatever, I just truly think that’s very sentimental and not accidental at all. 😭

Also, this other guy I liked in my early twenties has been randomly in my mind more lately and then I see a billboard the other day that’s like… a memorial for this woman who has the last name of cousins of his I remember seeing on his Facebook.

So I Google her, and it’s, I believe, his aunt who was killed in a drunk driving accident in 2003. I’ve lived in this town for eight years, and known of him for six of them, and never once saw that billboard. I would’ve recognized the name and associated it with him then, too.

It was just weird to be thinking of him more and then see that.

#personal #life is fucking weird dude

[romantic-reveries]

if a vampire were to steady my throat by wrapping their hand around it and maneuvering it so that they can feed from my neck i don’t think they would get anything. On account of all of the blood immediately rushing down to my

[romantic-reveries]

[romantic-reveries]

[romantic-reveries]

Rainer Maria Rilke, Selected Letters, 1902-1922

[romantic-reveries]

[romantic-reveries]

not enough people understand that disability benefits are basically what it would look like if you turned "if you're too sick for school you're too sick for video games" into an official public policy

[romantic-reveries]

[romantic-reveries]