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1 week down update

hey guys, so yesterday morning on about day 6 I woke up to be 50.5kg, so it worked and along the week I had no slip ups did my exercise and counted calories. However. Last night I had a binge. AND HAD VODKA. so all that fast food and fat will definitely be stored as fat from the alcohol. I woke up to be 51.5 :( I ate a total of 2500 calories, but since my deficit is 500cal a day to get to my goal weight for the 6th. before I binged I was -350cal for that day so I took 850 cal off the 2500 which still put me into a deficit of 500. now I just have 1650 to make up for which is roughly 3 days worth of food, so I'm gonna starve for 3days and burn the remainder 150cal off with exercise. I'll exercise more anyway if I have the energy to try get rid of the fat I ate last night but that depends on how tired I am. with this plan my week 2 progress will still reach a deficit of -7000 per week and we'll be back on track for 48.5 :). let us just pray to the gods together that fast food didn't go straight to my thighs and my metabolism will burn it off fast and do me a favour. I would've just purged it up but I have long sharp acrylics on and every time I try to stick my fingers down it cuts my throat and bleeds, plus I was in public so I didnt have an object to use. alsooo I would've just taken the laxatives when I got home but it was like 2am and I was very drunk so I fell straight asleep. I have a driving lesson on day 3 of the fast so I've already picked out a low calorie drink of monster white to keep me focused so I dont crash the car lol. 11cal for the driving should be fine. please does anybody have any tips on excuses for not eating I could use.

praying this doesn't affect me too much and by the end of week 2 I'll be 49.5 I'll let you all know in a week!

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I'll be updating u along the 3weeks, today day 2.

since the clinic I've been eating regular healthy meals, and am currently 51.5kg. it's my birthday dinner in 3 weeks and I want to feel confident in my dress so as a starter I want to reach 48.5kg for the day of the meal. my goal weight is about 44kg but I will be happy at 48 for that day given the circumstances of time. due to this I need to lose 1kg a week but I freaked out last time over not being able to take a sh1t and unable to reach laxatives to resolve it. so I decided to eat normal healthy meals and just burn the cal through exercise (im burning 1000 per day) so I can take sh1ts often while losing weight quickly. howeverrrrr im still not going to the bathroom, maybe from the amount of exercise im doing idk??? but I decided not to back out this time because looking good for this dinner is important to me so I reached out for some laxatives. since im eating regular and exercising secretly my mum thinks im not going to the bathroom from an actual health problem not my diet which is why she agreed to buy me them :)))))

if im not 48.5kg in 3 weeks after all this hard work of healthy eating, excessive exercise and laxatives I SWEAR I am DONE.

#anor3c1a

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update

I can't escape it somehow, ana always shows up. parents are worried and I'm getting put in some clinic program. being forced to eat and having to write all my foods down for the clinic is torture, skipped 2/3 meals today tho :)).

I never say that thinking im happy I didnt eat, I say that thinking im happy ill be skinnier tomorrow. food is just what it takes, even though I find myself unable to eat a carrot due to its starch content.

#ana rant

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looking for advice

I haven't taken a sh1t in 11 days so I was thinking to try recover because of my age I won't be able to reach laxatives, made some oatmeal with milk and grapes this morning but realised after eating 600 calories I don't want to eat. I was practically forcing myself and didn't even finish. I want to starve for the rest of the day I can't bare to stop losing weight but I'm sorta worried for my stool if I keep prolonging a sh1t. this is all kinda tmi but yeah, I'll let you know what I end up doing. even if I do eat to recover from my body in starvation mode its so so so hard just looking at the sky makes me want to relapse lol. I feel trapped either way and no. there's no way I'm telling anybody.

#anor3c1a #advice

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was so full and it made me feel like I was going to be fat the next day, purged it all up then did a work out. won't be eating for the rest of the day as im not sure I got all of it up

#ed not sheeren

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tw/ana

hey guys so I haven't eaten in a while and I was going to break my fast with a small piece of cal friendly food but turns out im not allowed in the kitchen for 5hrs cus of a business meeting, and you know when you're at the end of your fast and you have HAVE to have some food now. I live in a big city so my local shops are fast food chains which means I cant even go out and get something, also my mother doesn't want to help me by dropping off a salad or something, so im ordering pasta. I didnt rly want to but I dont feel I have much of a choice given the circumstances. hopefully this 1 meal won't affect my weight too much but yh thought I'd tell u.

#ana rant

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just to note I'm 51kg as of this morning, getting there slowly.

#anor3c1a #ed not sheeren

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tw/ana

hey. I wasn't hungry at all today even though my total cal for today was 380, not sure if that's a good or bad thing. kinda internally panicking about it because I know when my stomachs aching its working. we'll find out tomorrow on the scale I guess.

good news:0.....im very close to 51kg, hoping tomorrows the day.

#ed not sheeren #ana rant #anor3c1a

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todays update after lasts nights little fiasco. I'm okay just pushing through the guilt

psa: i will be posting my every life detail most likely daily :)

#ed not sheeren #anor3c1a #i wish i was weightless

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tw/ana

just binged last night 2000kcal of pure junk sugar and fat. gonna kms was doing so well

#ed not sheeren #ana rant