sendoshutoskitten

[sendoshutoskitten]

At what cost? - shuto sendou.

*might be ooc

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"This is bullshit!"

Ubers' number 18 slammed himself to the lockers out of frustration. After having one last match; chance, to prove he was worthy, all the wasted effort led him and his team losing.

'I blocked one goal... But at what cost...?'

He thought, letting himself plop onto the ground. Sendou's foot started to be accompanied by sharp, intense pain along with the muscle feeling knotted from all the running.

"f-fuck..."

Moaning desperately of the mental and physical pain, taking a deep breath trying to cope with his stress. But starting his cope with going on the internet was a horrible idea.

No one except his team cared or even impressed of him for blocking Hiori's goal; everyone was solely paying their attention to the spotlights.

Perhaps, maybe, definetly, Sendou did receive threats again. It was always like this for him. They had always put high expectations on him ever since 2018's Japan U20.

Some were using Sendou's own insecurities, his weaknesses and finally death threats as cruel as you can imagine just to attack him.

Sendou never made it into the starting 11 in the new U20. He was one of the reserves ranked in the same place as Hiori. He went from the top striker to a lowly substitute.

The poor boy was all alone in the lockers; all the other teammates went ahead to shower while he was crying his eyes out. He wipes the tears with his towel, wishing that someone could wipe it with their own hands instead.

But sendou didn't want his team to see his true colors. They had seen Sendou as a tough, confident person. He didn't want them to know he was a crybaby. Spoiled for compliments. Because that isn't how a man acts.

Sendou was already 19 years old, but he was still acting as if he never went through puberty. Yet he just wanted to be happy. He missed the feeling of being showered with praises back then when everyone didn't get used to his goals.

Sendou was the star striker of the Japan U20. People found him cute. Funny. Until Sae and Shido came to steal his spotlight. Sendou thought at that time, he would still do a good job even if he wasn't the star.

Nah.

Sendou was just pushed back to the sidelines. And even if he tried his hardest to catch the viewers' attention, they had their eyes on the older Itoshi from the Real Madrid. It was just so unfair for him.

And there was Shidou too; their first meeting didn't go so well. Sendou had to cooperate with him so he wouldn't be dead meat. He felt under so much pressure. And that wasn't it; it was when the badmouthing started.

Sendou didn't talk to anyone else after that match, just snatching his bag away and walking straight home without a single word. He was disappointed in himself, and he still is. Sulking in the lockers, not knowing how to make up to his 'mistakes' as people said.

'If... If I can score at least one goal... Perhaps I can finally receive some appreciation, right? Everyone will give me the attention I deserve... Then the hate will stop...'

He starts to cry even harder, Sendou's sounds slowly growing louder. He tries to shush himself into the quietest he can, he covers his face and struggles to hide the redness in his eyes.

Sendou could neither go out of nor stay in the lockers if he didn't want his teammates to see him crying. He could only hope that they weren't going to walk into his situation.

He continues to sweat not of heat, but of his stressing. Sendou didn't have the urge to even wipe it off with his towel anymore. He was tired. He wanted to rest.

The time was already 9pm. The time where all the members were supposed to be in their bedrooms by then. Surely, one of them was gonna check up on him if he was gonna keep isolating himself in the lockers.

His hyperventilating grew worse, as Sendou continued to break down into tears and kick his feet in frustration, accidentally throwing his sports shoes off of his feet and flying it in the air. He was aware that he was crying like a child but he didn't care. He was holding all of it in until Sendou could have his alone time.

A queasy feeling occurs, Sendou felt like he was gonna throw up from crying so much. He had been agonizingly crying for the past 2 hours; yet not a single worry from his teammates.

After a while, Sendou's tears dried up. Almost ten in the evening. Still hugging his knees, as the time passed by. He didn't feel like doing anything but just stare mindlessly. He was just relaxing, that's all.

Sendou suddenly dropped himself, letting himself collapse on the floor as the his bottle spills the remaining water. His body went numb, the atmosphere becoming thin.

He just took a quick nap, then he went back to the dorms.

No he didn't.

#sendou shuto #blue lock #sendo shuto #shuto sendou #oneshot #light angst #out of character.