shannankle

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occasional posts from users

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Be more off-putting. Say more bullshit. Write more weird nonsense.

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augh my disabilities

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Ok. Watched dungeon meshi recently .... and why did noone tell me Falin is also autistic??

Like. Yes yes, all the mob vs laios autism polls are fun, but mob is so much more similar to Falin than Laios -  not just in how their autism manifests, or their personality, but like..... they're even both extremely powerful in their magical fields!! They both see and communicate with ghosts!!! They both ride the line between human and monstrous!!!! I love them so much...

But. If we're talking comparisons, between Mob and Laios...

I really think they're two sides of a coin. None is better than the other, they do vastly different things and are great in their own rights because of it.

Laios is an adult with autism who is surrounded by people who are annoyed by his presence or generally find him strange or offputting. He highlights the struggle of that, how hard it can be to find and keep true friends that actually care about you and aren't lying about just tolerating you when you're neurodivergent - and how even when you have great knowledge or skill in something, just as often it helps you, it will also make people look at you weird. He's loud. He's unapologetic. He's passionate!!! And the right people will come to appreciate that. But it doesn't erase the struggle that being so open often comes with.

Mob's narrative, on the other hand, is a coming of age story. It's about a traumatized autistic kid who isn't open, isn't loud, who makes an effort to not stand out - because he got burnt in the past, and he himself burnt others in the past, as a result of how his autism manifests. And it's about how he comes to realize that coming out of that shell is worth it. That there will be kind people waiting on the other side, that you're not doing anyone any good by ignoring your own wants and needs. That you have good to offer to the world!! That there's good people to meet !!! That you have more strength in yourself than you think !!!! And how even at your most destructive, all your flaws and true colors revealed, mask finally off .... your friends will still love you. Because you were always yourself. Even when you were hiding.

They do different things.

Dungeon meshi is a more realistic story - there's no otherwordly psychic powers amplifying the autistic symptoms present. It's just a weird, wonderful autistic man with his encyclopedia of knowledge and his small gaggle of friends. And the autism may not be absolutely central .. but it's there. Following the story every step of the way, influencing it that way or the other.

Mob Psycho 100 on the other hand is a lot more fantastical, and a lot more idealistic. There's no heavy worldbuilding to dive into, and the monsters and antagonists they face aren't the main course - instead, the main focus is on Mob, and his inner world, and gradually revealing more of it. In that way - while DM is an 'outside looking in' kinda story, mp100 is an 'inside looking out' one.

And I love both of them.

(Keep in mind I haven't read the dungeon meshi manga yet, just watched the anime ;^^ so I'm sorry that there's probably a lot more to add to the comparison on that front. Please don't spoil in the notes tho!!)

#dungeon meshi #mp100

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If I had a nickel for every time an anime had a main character who was told to "read the room" in a scene that pretty much confirmed them being autistic coded I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice

#mp100 #dungeon meshi

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#mp100

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Finally got a clear shot of noonoo carrying her spring, it's her favourite toy

#spring spring spring #cats

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Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken

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petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

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we're all aware of how much self-control Qian has, so i went back to screencap the 5 times (through ep10) he actually swore:

1. first time rescuing Yuan

我他媽問你小遠在哪

"i'm FUCKING asking you where Yuan is!"

2. when San Pang asks if the one Yuan likes is Qian

媽的 你在說什麼啊

"what the fuck are you saying?"

3. venting to Yuan about work-related drinking culture

媽的 陳總他們太會喝了

"fuck, chen and the others can really drink"

4. punching Yuan after drunken forced kiss

你他媽幹什麼

"what the FUCK are you doing?"

5. nosebleed #???

靠

"shit/damn" (this is pretty mild and i personally don't consider it a swear word but i guess technically it still is)

#unknown the series #language notes

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things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

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Devotion.

I just want, or rather need, to write about this scene, because it stuck in my head for the last seven days. And because of the wonderful @lurkingshan I decided to post it...

This scene is the culmination, the end of the years that Qian has forbidden himself to feel joy or love. Romantic love that doesn't demand, that doesn't require him to be in control, to take care, to be the big brother. So far he has not allowed the depth of his feelings for Yuan to surface. He has kept them locked away, kept control of them. He knows they were there, but couldn’t or didn’t dare to face them, to name them. And he would have continued to do so if Yuan hadn't finally told him what he actually wants from him. It wasn't enough for him to tell Qian that he loves him, that it was his own problem, not Qian's, that he was content if the person he loved was happy. The talk with San Pang and the staircase talk were the first steps, Qian is finally able and willing to face those emotions, but couldn’t make up his mind. Still couldn't name those feelings.

Everything is too much for him. He is overwhelmed by the decision he has to make and the possible outcome of that. He could lose Yuan, if they don't work out in the end. If those boundaries are finally crossed, there is no going back to where they were. So Qian needed to hear that Yuan doesn't want him as a brother. Every time Yuan told Qian he can take care of him, he is there for him and holds up the world together with him, it was as a brother. In Qian’s mind, he said that as a brother. All Qian brought Yuan was suffering and sadness and abandonment, because he fell in love with him.

In his mind, Yuan shouldn’t love him as something else than a brother, because that would harm both of them. Because loving Qian isn’t a good thing to do. Qian knows that Yuan loves him but hasn't understood, or rather wanted to understand, the extent of his feelings. Yuan wants to be his partner. He wants him to be able to rely on him, to be Qian's rock, no matter what life brings, he wants to be there for him. And not just for the moment, but for the rest of his life. And not just as a brother Qian has to take care of, but as a lover, the one person who puts Qian first.

He wants to be Qian's partner, he wants to protect him and take the burden off his shoulders. He wants Qian not to have to deal with everything on his own, but to open up to him, to share his worries and hardships with him. And Qian finally understands what it means when Yuan tells him that he can summarize his life in two words: Wei Qian. Yuan puts Qian above himself, he would run to the end of the world for him if he had to, he would fight against the rest of the world if he had to, he will protect him, he will take care of him and love him no matter what the world holds. And finally Qian understands that it's good, that Yuan won't just leave him once he opens up, because he loves everything about him, his dark sides and his light ones. Yuan can take care of him to the end, can love him to the end. And Qian surrenders. He's always in fucking control, no matter what, he has to control everything, even his heart. But at some point, all resistance breaks. He just had to understand.

And when they get into the bedroom, Qian is beaming. The lightning focusses on his face, this delighted face. He is like pudding under Yuan’s kisses, touches, breathes. In that moment he exists only out of his emotions. There is nothing more and nothing more is needed in this situation. He has never looked so weightless before and has certainly never felt like this.

We know what Yuan imagines at night, or at least we have a pretty good idea. We have witnessed countless moments when his love and affection for Qian literally leaked out of his face, while Qian tried to suppress his feelings with a petrified expression. But finally, he can feel them. He allows himself to give in. He allows Yuan to take care of his world, to let him feel how much he loves and desires him. The power of emotions and sensations are depicted on Qian’s face. He has his eyes closed, tasting every single moment, savouring every single touch. Blissfully.

Yuan's presence is Qian's entire focus. Just as Qian is Yuan's entire focus. And he makes sure that Qian feels good, that he forgets everything, all problems and responsibilities, illnesses and losses, for the moment. He takes care of his world. This one thing he wanted to do for so long, he is finally able to do.

(Well, there is an edited version out now with this whole scene as one without the flashbacks, but I saw the other one first and I loved it, so I stick to it.) The whole scene is repeatedly interrupted by scenes from the past and it is always Yuan. I was also a bit irritated by the time jumps at first, I get why people are annoyed by this, but it makes sense. We know that Qian is Yuan's whole world, the centre around which he has revolved for years and for which he would do anything. We see scenes that led to where they are now. Their shared history. Their shared memories. The sequences speed up and at some point it's just Yuan’s face at its core. Yuan. Yuan. Yuan.

And you can understand, without needing to be told, that Yuan is also Qian's whole world. He is the centre, the heart that gives his own life warmth, with whom he can let himself fall, who knows him better than anyone else, who was always there, even when he physically wasn't, the only one who could tell him to do things he didn’t want to do, the one he can’t fucking live without. And Qian surrenders. The feelings he couldn't allow for so long are now boiling out and we have these close-ups of his face and see how he's longed for it. How touch starved this boy was.

I don't need a close-up of Yuan to know that he's enjoying every single second. Would it have been nice? Sure, but I think narratively, that's the way they wanted and needed to go. And I love this whole scene. It's aesthetic, it advances the story, it's intimate and it's fitting for the show. Because Qian always was Yuan’s world and Yuan is Qian’s whole world.

I just wanted or needed to say I love this scene, its buildup, its pace, its hecticness and this disconnected feeling. It's Qian's scene. It's what we've all been dying for, for Qian to finally give in. And when the emotions overwhelm you, then it becomes hectic, then nothing hangs together and thoughts can't be grasped, can't be put in order. You jump from moment to moment, starting at one point and ending at a completely different one. It's Qian's scene. It's not Yuan's. We've had enough scenes to see Yuan's love and devotion, now it's time for Qian. We are, like Yuan, experiencing Qian in his first moment of absolute devotion. Without time, without place, without anger or fear. He doesn't think about the past or worry about the future, because for the first time he lives in the present. Yuan gives him this security that he can let his guard down, give up the control. I don't think Qian has ever felt as safe, secure, and loved as he does in this moment. And I love it so fucking much! Perhaps I just ignore my little dissappointement in them rushing this whole thing, because I watch those scenes with a narrator in my mind and he is giving me so much more in those scenes than the actual scene shows. But I understand everyone who is dissapointed with this scene and editing.

#unknown the series

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#if it's with you

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Though there may have been some hiccups earlier, this first kiss is so damn romantic.

23.5 DEGREES | EP8

#23.5 degrees

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vampirism poses the question "what if there was a fundamental, horrible, unending well of want in your soul that, if truly satisfied, would lead to great pain for all those you hold closest and, in turn, their absolute and total revilement of you?" and naturally as a person with no problems I don't relate to this in any way at all.

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TOPTEN SUPAKORN as Darin in GODDESS BLESS YOU FROM DEATH (2024)

#goddess bless you from death