shashashautaa

[shashashautaa]

Interrupted from her distant thoughts and discomfort, the warmth of the human body Ankh inhabited and she was unwillingly borrowing, it took Mezul a moment to understand the words he was saying, and her expression shifted to one of mild bewilderment as she thought about the question.

“I... just do,” she finally said, turning her gaze on him. “I can’t create cell medals, I can’t regain my other cores- or if I can, I haven’t found the way to do it yet... what else can I do but bear it? I don’t have a choice in the matter.”

She hesitated, then, before turning her eyes away and walking slowly over to peer out the window, shoulder against the windowsill, taking care not to dislodge Ankh’s bird in the process. “I ache, of course. You know that. It doesn’t end, nothing is ever good enough, but I can pile up minor distractions enough to almost forget, sometimes.”

“And, I suppose... it’s become normal to me. In a way.”

Taka, Unagi, Tako | Mezul

#ic #[ ankh 03 ] #wc: 167

[shashashautaa]

The unexpected surge of darkness as the cape closed over her left Mezul temporarily frozen in place, no longer able to see the uneven street below her to assure her safety in moving. Not that she should be moving, anyways- she had been offered the hiding place she’d asked for, and seeing as she couldn’t see where she was going, she might accidentally stumble out of it and right into the hands of her pursuers.

Not that they could kill her... probably. Or so she assumed- in this place it seemed anything might be possible.

So then, to wait. The men would likely not stay long- humans tended to be wary of very very very large non-human creatures, in her extensive experience. She took a cross-legged position on the ground and settled in- perhaps now would be a good time to contemplate, then, why it was she was always running from someone these days.

Interlude with a Knight || Closed

#ic #[ nk 01 ] #wc: 154

[shashashautaa]

She didn’t mean to stay long. The food held no appeal to a tongue that could not taste it, the music no appeal to an ear that could not enjoy it, and the crowds no appeal to a girl who was not truly a girl, who couldn’t form a connection to all these joyous, happy... fulfilled faces.

And the sense of romance in the air was absolutely stifling. It reminded her of Gamel’s futile attempts to garner her attention in such a way, made her chest ache, dully and faintly, so faintly. She almost wished it hurt more, just so that she’d be feeling something.

She had only really come to see what all the fuss was about- gotten some semblance of an appropriate outfit to get in the door, made sure not to cause any trouble, not that she could- but that particular intrigue having been exhausted, she was more than ready to go when a familiar voice spoke out beside her, causing her to turn her head to look at the other greeed, head tilting slightly in benign curiosity. She wasn’t frightened of him anymore- hard to be, really, when she knew him so unnaturally well- and his company was once again a... nice... prospect.

“It seemed interesting. I wouldn’t have expected to see you here, either.”

@shashashautaa

If there was one face he wasn’t expecting to see here, it was hers. But it was kind of… nice, seeing a familiar face that wasn’t an unpleasant one- mostly. Ankh would just watch the other Greeed from a distance for a minute or two, trying to decide whether or not he should go over. The other option, continuing to stand here by himself, was admittedly tempting.

But he strode over nonetheless, a plate of food still in hand, and he came to a halt next to Mezul, clearing his throat a little awkwardly.

“I… didn’t think I’d see you at a place like this.”

#ic #[ ankh 04 ] #ca winter ball 2015 #fambly time

[shashashautaa]

Don’t you start with me, boy || Closed

@themightyskeletor

Today had been a remarkably bad day. Several of the fish she’d been tending had died, she ached from her head to her toes with emptiness, and she couldn’t even, as she would like to, create yummies to supply her with cell medals- which would be mostly useless, but at least she wouldn’t feel so absolutely helpless.

Ever since her temporary sojourn in Ankh’s mind and body, that had been a feeling that had nagged at her incessantly.

So when some ridiculous little stick found its way in front of her feet, sending her sprawling to the ground, it barely took her two seconds to whip her head up and snarl at the creature holding it.

“Watch where you put that thing, you cheap excuse for a halloween decoration!”

#ic #[ skeletor 01 ] #IM TERRIBLE AT INSULTS IM NOT CLEVER ENOUGH FOR THIS #wc: 129 #themightyskeletor

[shashashautaa]

Interlude with a Knight || Closed

@whohassummonedme

Perhaps, Mezul considered as she ducked around a corner and out of an alleyway, the sounds of pursuit fading but not quickly enough for her tastes, it was time for her to spend some time thinking about why it was that she seemed to have been running ever since she first stepped foot in this city.

Not right this second. Right this second she happened to be busy, well, running. At least this time it wasn’t from the laughable ‘law’ of the place, but the point remained that without anyone to focus on keeping out of trouble, Mezul seemed to be winding up in trouble herself more and more often. Of course, if she had all eight-plus feet of her Greeed form, she wouldn’t be in this particular predicament, but she didn’t, currently, and so here she was.

Her steps were slowing, not by her own choice- even Greeed became weary, despite being composed of medals rather than flesh and sinew. Casting around for a place to hide in the rapidly darkening night, she happened to cast her gaze up, and-

up-

and up-

until she realized that what she had assumed to be a very large and very dark building was, in fact, not a building at all. Unless buildings in this particular area tended to move and have near-glowing eyes set into all that shadow. Her surprise cost her, though, and she realized her pursuit would be close on her heels now, her hard-won distance lost in her moments of staring.

Well, and what other option did she have, then?

“Do you see anywhere to hide?” she asked, more than a little frantically, trying to pitch her voice loudly enough that he would hear her, without being so loud that her pursuers could do the same.

#[ nk 01 ] #ic #wc: 298 #whohassummonedme

[shashashautaa]

That was encouraging, at least- of course, not many would actively ignore what seemed to be a young girl, but there were plenty of people who were significantly more... aggressive. Not that Mezul couldn’t handle them, but that always tended to draw more attention, which was exactly what she needed to avoid doing, right now. She’d reached the limit of her powers today, and she could only run so fast on as few core medals as she had... and she had no desire to find herself in a human jail.

She had more important things to do, after all.

She hesitated for a moment, not entirely sure how to continue without arousing suspicion, before she noticed the stack of papers hugged to the other woman’s chest. Good enough, then. She pointed at the fliers, perhaps a little rudely, and said, “I was wondering what it was, exactly, that you were advertising.” An utter lie, but then, she didn’t mind being dishonest in order to reach her goals.

Law Trouble || Closed

advertising for her new bakery in the middle of a season not attributing to its name was … a little more than difficult. still, juvia had put forth a valiant effort, an arm’s worth of flyers hugged to her chest, she’d decided to turn in, to return to the roads that would take her home to regia. she’d shivered against the cold, unconsciously reversing osmosis back into the crowd. though she loved the familiar sting of winter air, juvia found herself wanting for warmth.

that was when she’d felt a different chill rolling up her spine. was she being watched?

juvia turned, curls falling over the swell of her chest, settling in the dip in her shoulders. her eyes widened, just momentarily, as she realized she’d been right in her assumption, but the rain woman soon settled into a warm smile, breathing out puffs of cloudy steam against the afternoon’s chill. 

☂ { of course. how can juvia help you? }

#[ juvia 01 ] #ic #its no problem!!! #wc: 167

[shashashautaa]

The last thing Mezul expected when she walked into Ankh’s current home was to be assaulted by a small brown avian creature- though perhaps, given Ankh, she should have expected it entirely. Mezul turned her head to look at the creature on her shoulder curiously, thoroughly interrupted from her attempted perusal of the apartment. Ankh’s words barely really registered until the bird shifted, feet tiny pinpricks against her shoulder as it adjusted itself and cocked its head at her, expectantly.

Ah. Whistling.

How did that work again?

It wasn’t, of course, that she didn’t know how to whistle. Most of the creatures of her kingdom used various similar sounds, whistles and clicks and chirps, both to communicate and to navigate the vast territories of the waters they lived in. It was more that she had never thought to bother with whistling in a human form, and the whistling she did know how to do, this body really, didn’t.

What was it Ankh had done? She hesitated to make sure he wasn’t watching her (he wasn’t, he was sulking) and then pursed her lips a little awkwardly, blowing air through them and producing a thready mimic of the whistle the bird and Ankh had both given, hoping that would satisfy it.

Turning her head back to Ankh, she awkwardly crossed her arms and glanced around. Was this what her apartment would look like, if she ever bothered to find it? It seemed... small. Confining. She couldn’t imagine Ankh being truly satisfied with this as his living situation.

Taka, Unagi, Tako | Mezul

#ic #event: splicesome #ca event tag #[ ankh 03 ] #wc: 256

[shashashautaa]

Silence reigned for the rest of the journey, too thick for them to seem friends to the outside eye, too intense for them to be strangers. As the anger subsided into a simmering general discomfort, other feelings rose up to take its place- she did her best to ignore them, guilt and buried grief and, in a way, contentedness, though she doubted he could recognize it as that. It was almost a relief, that her own envy still pulsed clear and strong in her chest. She wanted... she wanted what he probably didn’t even know he had.

But mostly, right now, she wanted to be in her own body, in her own mind. She didn’t want to have what he had and couldn’t even appreciate yet dangled in front of her like this.

When he stood to step off the train, she followed suit, noting that she was moving more naturally now, in this form, growing accustomed to its shape... and to its senses. As they stepped off the train, she looked around, then focused on the small back in front of her, lips pursing.

“Is it far?”

Taka, Unagi, Tako | Mezul

#[ ankh 03 ] #event: splicesome #ic #ca event tag #wc: 188

[shashashautaa]

Well, at least he wasn’t yelling by the time he started spewing questions. Mezul dropped her hand from his mouth and wiped it against her coat, more for effect rather than because he had spit on her hand while trying to talk past it, given that she couldn’t feel if he had or not. 

“Of course I know Ankh,” she said, near-dismissively, though her stomach twisted at the thought that he was here. Was it more comforting or worrying? She couldn’t quite decide. “There are only five of us. If you’re going to buy this fish for me, perhaps you should finish paying for it before burying me in questions. This is hardly the place to sit and talk.”

FISH KITAAAAA - Gentarou/Mezul

        “YOU’RE A GREEED?!”, Gentarou shouted. He clearly approached the wrong person today. He could handle one Ankh. One, singular, one less than 2. Well, maybe not all the Greeed were as bad as Ankh. But boy, he sure didn’t have a good record with them so far. “How many of you guys are there?! Do you know Ankh?! Was he always such a jerk?!”, Gentarou had a slew of questions. This was very good news for him, at least. Finally he could get a scoop on Ankh, and maybe find a strategical standpoint to befriend him from.

#[ gentarou 01 ] #ic #wc: 119

[shashashautaa]

Law Trouble || Closed

@juvilation

Being chased by authority figures was uncommonly, well, common in this city, it seemed- though perhaps more because of her complete lack of subtlety or care for rules than because of any particular difference in police activity between cities. She hadn’t even done much, this time- she hadn’t stolen anything, she’d just torrented a man in the face with a gust of water for being pushy and irritating.

Alright, so maybe that counted as ‘much’. Regardless.

Luckily, all of her experience had also taught her that her form was advantageous- even looking for a short young woman with black hair, they’d skip right over her if she could simply find someone appropriate to stand near. Small groups of other similarly aged woman worked best, but for now... Spying a young woman only slightly older than her assumed form, Mezul made a quick decision and jogged up to her.

“Excuse me, may I borrow a moment of your time?”

#ic #[ juvia 01 ] #wc: 158

[shashashautaa]

Impact || Closed

@shslsyoko

One of the things Mezul missed most- aside from the obvious, her cores- was having access to an abundance of water and aquatic life. It was the closest she could ever be to being whole again, likely, as much as it ached for the Greeed to admit even to herself. At least when she’d been fighting the OOO boy, she’d been able to slip away to the bay, to the river, to any of the several nearby bodies of water.

Not so much, here. She’d more or less claimed the small pond her fish had been living in in sector six, but it was just that, after all- a small pond. It was limiting their growth, and it simply wasn’t enough for her, either.

Anyways, long story short, she’d stolen a fish tank. A very very large, very unwieldy fish tank. Where she was going to set it up was in question- she was thinking about finally figuring out where the ‘apartment’ she’d been assigned was, though maybe she could simply find an abandoned building somewhere instead. Cities always had plenty of those.

So lost in thought, and with a very large box full of fish tank blocking her view, it wasn’t really a terribly huge surprise that she managed to swing the box straight into a passerby as she was turning a corner, the impact causing her to stumble too, the box dropping to the ground with a heavy thud.

Glancing back at whomever she had hit, she straightened up, then turned to offer them her hand, not looking even remotely remorseful.

“Are you okay?”

#ic #[ touko 01 ]

[shashashautaa]

It could have been almost peaceful, for a few seconds. The body she was in was not her own, but it could sense the world in a way she hadn’t been able to for centuries. The person with her could not be trusted, but felt more like home than anything she’d felt in too long to even remember. The city around them was teeming with the push and pull of human desires, human greed, but she didn’t mind- for once, she felt complete enough to ignore the need to make yummies (not that she could have, in this place, apparently).

It could have been fine.

If he hadn’t opened his mouth again.

Her already stilted steps halted entirely as her throat seized up, and she had to swallow hard a couple of times to open it back up when the human body’s lungs started to protest the lack of oxygen. Too-long fingers curled into tight fists at her sides, and she stared down at the ground, jaw clenching slightly.

He felt so much anger, and it was so tempting to just give in to it.

“Not,” she said slowly, carefully, “that you have any right to be so accusing, not that you have any right at all to judge me for what I may or may not feel towards anyone, but feel free to check for yourself. I have never once felt anything towards him but anger and loss and fear. I would say I hope you don’t think my affections so easy to gain that they would latch onto someone whom I did not know before he stole my freedom from me, but I know better even without feeling what you feel and remembering what you’ve known. If you must think so little of me, I would prefer that you keep it to yourself.”

Taka, Unagi, Tako | Mezul

#ic #[ ankh 03 ] #event: splicesome #ca event tag #wc: 305

[shashashautaa]

tajadoruu:

Ankh drew in a shaky breath, rubbing at his face vigorously. “Right. I… don’t know, though, anyone who’d know more about it than us. We could go find a TV and watch the news, they’d say something there if there was a way to fix it.” He hesitated, thinking. “My apartment is in Sector 3. Unless your housing is closer, then…”

Planning helped, he could plan, he always had a plan. He always had an out. Him, Ankh. It helped, to hold onto the sense of himself, because the presence of Mezul’s medals, her feelings, her memories… It terrified him. He felt as though he was losing himself to another entity, and he’d already had to feel the horror of that once before.

He brushed hair from his face again, irritated with the way it cascaded over his shoulders and got in his face. “I don’t want to wait it out, if there’s any way to prevent that.” He sighed, gaze fixed on the ground. “…I must say… I… expected you to loathe every fiber of my being.” He spoke suddenly, chewing at his lip as he thought. The last thing he wanted to do was get into this with her, but the words had spilled from his mouth unbidden.

“I mean… I can feel how you feel about us. …It’s foolish. The others don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve it.”

She had to pause and think about that- was her housing closer? She’d never been there, didn’t even really remember what it was, exactly. F.... something. It probably wouldn’t make much of a difference anyways- they might as well go to the place he obviously considered safe enough, instead of a place neither of them had ever been. “Then we’ll go to your apartment,” she started to say, only to pause when he began to speak again.

The words hit her like a punch in the gut, and she drew back, shoulders straightening and jaw tensing. That feeling of avoidance, needing to change the topic or run away, rose again, but she pushed it back down, only allowing herself to turn her head to look away from the other Greeed. It made it a bit less uncomfortable, at least.

“... Caring about someone...” She hesitated, then gritted her teeth. Did she even have a right to talk about this, something that she couldn’t ever feel properly? Yes- even if she couldn’t feel what humans did, she felt it in her own way. “Loving someone isn’t dependent on whether or not they deserve it. It’s not... It’s not something you turn off and on. I can’t look at you, or Uva, or Kazari, and say ‘This person has hurt me, so I won’t care about them anymore’.”

She crossed her arms over her stomach, chest tight. She’d never talked about this with anyone before, and somehow, Ankh didn’t seem like the safest bet. But... he’d started it.

“And it’s not something you can lose the right to, either. There is nothing any of you could do to me, or to anyone else, that would be so bad that I wouldn’t care for you anymore.” She let out an uncomfortable, tense laugh. “Kazari has more than proven that.”

Biting her lip, she fought the tears sparking in her now too-human eyes back, and shook her head harshly. “Anyways. It doesn’t matter.” It did, but there was nothing to be done about it right now. “We can go to your apartment. I don’t even know what my housing assignment was, I never bothered to go there.”

Taka, Unagi, Tako | Mezul

#ic #[ ankh 03 ] #citta event tag #event: splicesome

[shashashautaa]

tajadoruu:

The sound of her voice–of his own voice–made Ankh shudder, and he shook his head, trying to speak. His throat ached, and he hated the concern, the pity in the other’s voice. But another part of him, a foreign part, stirred, craving the sympathy. He wanted the comfort, he desired it.

Taking a deep breath, Ankh shook his head once again, straightening and uncurling his arms from around himself. He jutted his chin up a little haughtily, although his body shook, undermining the effect. “…Whenever you saw, I don’t want your pity.” If he was… feeling things, seeing things that didn’t belong to him, then she might’ve felt the same. The thought made him a little sick, of her digging through things he would’ve wished locked away, found in no mind but his own.

He couldn’t look at her, he realized. Every time he glanced at the tall human form, he just remembered her affection, her care. Her utterly senseless and undeserved care. The most peculiar feeling of guilt ate at him again as he drew in another breath, trying to gather himself. None of them deserved that from her, so why did she feel it?

Perhaps, he thought suddenly, for the same reason Eiji offered his hand when Ankh didn’t deserve to even be near him. Because they were kinder than he would ever be.

It didn’t help the twisting knot of guilt in his stomach one bit, and Ankh dug his nails into his palms where his hands rested at his sides. He had to pull himself together, had to stop this… whatever this was. This influx of emotions that wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t let him gather himself or quell the flood.

“I don’t know. There… I don’t know, diseases have cures, this one has to have one. In the very least it has to be… temporary.” He prayed that it was temporary.

Part of her wanted to snap that she didn’t have any pity to give him anyways- but it was an utter lie, and though she opened her mouth, she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. Instead she stayed turned away, trying to stamp down the nearly sickening urge to lash out, or to run away, or anything except being here in this moment.

“Then... we can either wait it out, or we can go find someone who knows more than we do about it.” She would opt for the last one, personally- she didn’t care if anyone saw her like this, but she didn’t want to be in this body, in this mind, that didn’t belong to her for any longer than she had to. She didn’t want to feel what he felt- she didn’t want to think about how much clearer her vision, how she could smell the grass and feel the cool sting of cold air searing her lungs.

It has to be temporary.

She didn’t want to feel this.

She turned back to look at him again, face stony with the effort it took to block out the faint pulse of his remembered horror, to not delve deeper. As much as she didn’t want to know... a part of her did. Wanted to know, wanted to understand a little more. She sidelined that particular desire aggressively, jaw clenching. “If you have any ideas, I’m open to suggestions,” she finally said, the words coming out more terse than she had intended. “I don’t want to stay like this any more than you do.”

Liar.

Taka, Unagi, Tako | Mezul

#ic #[ ankh 03 ] #citta event tag #event: splicesome

[shashashautaa]

Mezul winced and slid back away from Gentarou, eyeing him warily. Had he lost his mind? It seemed rather like it. Still, he was going to buy her this fish, and she couldn’t very well just walk out with it now that literally everyone in the store was watching them. She should have just run when he first called out to her.

Too late now.

“Stop yelling,” she hissed, reaching her free hand out and clapping it rather rudely over his mouth. “I am not made of coins. I am made of medals. They are specifically created to give my kind life- I am not going to sicken or die from them. Calm down.” She tipped her head, brows furrowing. “You should know this already- to have gotten your hands on medals, you must have already encountered another Greeed.”

FISH KITAAAAA - Gentarou/Mezul

          Gentarou’s eyes widened when he saw the medals absorb themselves into the girl’s body. He rubbed at his eyes, just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. Nope. They were gone. Really actually gone. No longer were those medal’s existing on this plane. They now exist inside of this teenage girl. She explained herself and the medals, and it didn’t help Gentarou with the concept one bit. 

          “Y-you’re made of coins?!” Gentarou yelled out in concern, not even worried that he was in a public place. “I swallowed a few quarters once as a kid and Gramps had to take me straight to the hospital!!! We need to get those things outta you!!! Just spit ‘em out already!”, Gentarou said, tears nearly forming in his eyes. This girl was going to die from eating so many medals and there was nothing he could do about it other than hope she’d throw them up. He reminisced of the good times he had spent with his new friend. Like that one time he stopped her from steal– erh, freeing a fish from the pet store. He thought about that time her body consumed medals. What a short lived and exciting friendship this had been.

#ic #[ gentarou 01 ] #( genchan for chrissake ) #wc: 139

[shashashautaa]

The way he trailed off after his vague excuse for an explanation had Mezul instinctively stepping forward, half-lifting her hand only to let it hover uselessly in the air. His expressions half-scrunched her face, from irritation to confusion to distress, with hints of something in between that she didn’t want to recognize, to acknowledge, something she’d understood in herself but never in any of the others.

Hearing that voice thick with tears was like being slammed into by a freight train, gut wrenching and a suffocating feeling of useless, burning anger filling her chest. But the feelings took a backseat to the aloof thought that really, what had she expected? What had any of them expected? As if each and every one of them wouldn’t have done the same thing, if they’d been given the chance.

It wasn’t happening now, couldn’t be changed, and she railed against the thoughts in her own mind, trying to fight her way past the foreign emotions and memories. She’d never stood on this side of the equation, had never watched herself yell and cry and slowly come to the understanding that this was the last turn, that Ankh was on His side, but she remembered it now, remembered what lead to it, silken temptations and a desperate, unending need that was his sole purpose.

She’d never realized before, that being complete had not been his main goal, but rather his only goal.

She could feel the twisting terror of sharp pressure in her back, hands grasping inside of her to pull out her cores, the realization that she, he, never should have trusted Him, never should have been willing to turn his back on him, as if it were happening right now. The half-step she’d taken forward was regained as she stumbled back, hand lifting to cover her mouth and stifle the choked sounds trying to force their way from her throat.

"Ankh...” Even as the single horrified word left her, she could guess at his disdain for it, for her useless need to comfort him and set it all right. She shook her head sharply, turning away from him instead. “How,” she asked instead, trying to smooth even the pained edges of her voice, to hoard his pain, her pain, inside of her again.

As he always had.

Taka, Unagi, Tako | Mezul

#ic #[ ankh 03 ] #event: splicesome #ca event tag #wc: 385

[shashashautaa]

"You're always welcome here."

“… But for what? What do you want from me now?”

#ic #meme sunday answers #tajadoruu #( FUCK YOU )