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shield-sheafson · 1 hour
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Was messing around on Birds of the World earlier and came across my new obsession
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Smugness written all over his inaccessible little face
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Where might he be found you ask?
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Here
(Computer enhance)
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Here, on Inaccessible Island (where I will be posting from here on out)
Also found in this remote location…
The Inaccessible Island Rail
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Known for being the smallest flightless bird in the world, this Rail possesses the souls of anyone that actually accesses the island
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shield-sheafson · 4 hours
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I wish the world worked like it did in the stardew valley universe. If I'm strapped for cash I should be able to go grab some blackberries off the nearest roadside bush and go sell them to a grocery store for a quick ten bucks. I should be able to think "huh I wanna go talk to the wizard today" and then I go talk to the wizard in his wizard tower
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shield-sheafson · 5 hours
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btw in case you have valid reason for suspecting otherwise, a queer person saying "i think that it's important for everyone to acknowledge that queer identities and sexualities are complex" does not mean "i think you should fuck people that you don't want to have sex with." as a wise man once said, "no bitch, thats a whole nother sentence"
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shield-sheafson · 6 hours
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attention joann's shoppers. there is a freak in the yarn aisle buildinf a nest
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shield-sheafson · 10 hours
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(Via)
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shield-sheafson · 1 day
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Don't fuck with me cuz I grew up on the mean streets of Happyville, where you have to fight to survive. Mayor Sunshine and the Funsketeers used to corner me outside of Old Mr. Happy's Sweet Shop every day on the way home from school and try to shake me down and y'know I didn't always win those fights. Sometimes Mayor Sunshine would be at City Hall the next day with a busted nose or his arm in a sling, and sometimes he'd walk away one nickel richer and I'd have to go without my oversized lollypop. I once watched an anthropomorphic kitty cat wearing jodhpurs and an adorable little waistcoat hold up a gas station with a Mossberg. It's a goddamn war of all against all out here.
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shield-sheafson · 1 day
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shield-sheafson · 1 day
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puppygirl wants me to leash her and say a bunch of specific stuff while having sex but i grew up on a ranch in arkansas so I pretty much just let her fuck off and do her own thing until i feel like wandering around in the woods in which case it's her job to get bit by snakes first
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shield-sheafson · 1 day
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shield-sheafson · 2 days
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new favorite bit is saying "I would be fangirling so hard if I met him in real life 😍" about random species of fish
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shield-sheafson · 2 days
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shield-sheafson · 2 days
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should i get into bird watching?
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shield-sheafson · 2 days
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i am skeptical you could do that actually, tiktok user
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shield-sheafson · 2 days
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went to the doctors they rpescribed me dress up games
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shield-sheafson · 2 days
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Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken
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shield-sheafson · 2 days
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godspeed u crazy faggots friday
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shield-sheafson · 2 days
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yeah man we can tell
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