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shrinking-slowly234 · 13 days
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5/27
So I actually made a physical food journal, hoping it would help me more to have to sit down and write it all out. Honestly, I can't say if it's helped any, but 🤷‍♀️
My toddler got my pens a few times and drew all over some pages.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 26 days
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5/14
184.6 lbs / 83 kg ⬇️ 0.2 lbs (from 5/8)
BMI - 31.63
I haven't been weighing because food has been so bad. I've felt sick all night, but since I got up today, I've felt like I was going to throw up. I tried but nothing. I just took some pepto, hopefully it helps.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 1 month
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5/9
I'm not going to weigh today.
I need to sleep.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 1 month
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5/8
184.8 lbs / 83 kg ⬇️ 0.8 lbs
BMI - 31.70
It's a loss. I'm down to 83 kg. Be happy about it.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 1 month
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5/7
185.6 lbs / 84 kg ↕️ 0 lbs
No change again.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 1 month
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5/6
185.6 lbs / 84 kg ↕️ 0 lbs
No change. I can't be mad about it because it's much better than gaining, which I thought would happen.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 1 month
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5/5
185.6 lbs / 84 kg ⬇️ 2 lbs
BMI - 31.84
WOOOOHOOOOO!
That's what I'm talking about.
Now I'm torn. I was planning on eating tonight but I don't really want to now. I know my weight will go up, mostly from water retention. But I've got a nice steak going. Haven't eaten since Thursday night.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 1 month
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5/4
187.6 lbs / 85 kg ⬇️ 0.8 lbs
BMI - 32.18
Off to work today. Hopefully will burn tons of calories, not eat and drop a significant amount by tomorrow. Wish me luck.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 1 month
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5/2
188.4 lbs / 85 kg ⬇️ 2.6 lbs (from 4/30)
BMI - 32.32
I finally got back down. Now I don't know what to do. Should I eat or should I not? I hate this.
* * *
So initially, I had planned on not eating, but like always, my plans never go well. I made it all day and then my husband was cooking dinner and I said fuck it. I ate a French dip sandwich. 1/3 a loaf of French bread with cajun butter, shaved beef cooked in cajun butter with provolone cheese melted in, dipped in au jus. And 1% milk because it was spicy. I felt sick after. I tried to throw up but couldn't. I'm so disgusted with myself. I even said beforehand if I ate I would be mad at myself tomorrow when I step on the scale and yet I did it anyway. It took forever to get back down to the 180s and I just fucked it up. What is wrong with me? Why do I do not but self sabotage?
Also, my throat hurts.
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Jesus. Well, this is the perfect example of why I never lose and always gain. I didn't eat at all yesterday except for dinner and a coffee from Starbucks. I was thinking it wouldn't be that bad since it was all I had. And it's over 1000 calories. It's more than double the calories I normally have (from food) when I'm actually planning on eating. Fuck. That isn't even counting all of the cajun butter. Fuck fuck fuck.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 1 month
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4/25
189.8 lbs / 86 kg ⬇️ 0.6 lbs
BMI - 32.56
Does anyone else weigh themselves multiple times in the morning and then go with the lowest weight? I can weigh, wait 10 minutes, and weigh again, and it'll be lower. So I keep doing that until the weight goes back up and then use the lowest.
So I don't know if I'll get to continue using the phentermine anymore. Apparently, the DEA changed the regulations on it. Now the clinic is only allowed to give you enough for one pill a day, you have to see the doctor monthly for refills and can only get it if your bmi is 30 or more.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 2 months
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4/24
190.4 lbs / 86 kg ⬇️ 0.4 lbs
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shrinking-slowly234 · 2 months
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4/23
190.8 lbs / 86 kg ⬇️ 1.4 lbs (from 4/13)
BMI - 32.73
Woohoo! Almost out of the 190s. I'm not going to dwell on the fact that if I hadn't gone crazy I probably already would have been out. Definitely not going to dwell.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 2 months
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4/22
So I went off the deep end a little. After the 13th, I kept having high days and stopped tracking, and it was just overall bad. I honestly don't know what I would consider yesterday, and I hardly ate, but the little I did was very fatty, high calorie stuff. I haven't decided if I'm going to weigh myself today. I got my period on Friday, and it was the worst it's ever been in my life. I was in so much pain.
I know I probably should weigh so I know where I'm starting from again.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 2 months
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4/13
192.2 lbs / 87 kg ⬇️ 1.6 lbs
BMI - 32.97
Good. Today is going to be a higher day so I'm sure it'll probably go up tomorrow but hopefully not for long.
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Wtf. I said higher. I didn't mean just a high day in general. Jesus, my weight is going to be so high tomorrow. 😭😭😭
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shrinking-slowly234 · 2 months
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4/12
193.8 lbs / 87 kg ⬇️ 2 lbs
BMI - 33.24
So much better 😌
But now I don't know what to do. Should I have another low day or a high day?
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The calories are all from two starbucks coffees and sugar-free mints.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 2 months
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4/11
195.8 lbs / 88 kg ⬇️ 0.2 lbs
BMI - 33.59
Well, it's slowly going down.
I really don't know if I should continue eating more calories or alternate high and low days or what. Why does this have to be so confusing?
I'm in love with this picture.
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Not my photo. Message for removal.
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shrinking-slowly234 · 2 months
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4/10
196 lbs / 88 kg ⬇️ 0.2 lbs
There's that.
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