skully-64

[skully-64]

Kids these days who think that being a bard is just about swinging swords and playing lutes disgust me. Where’s the pizzazz? The showmanship? The seduction??

#adam sent this to the dnd server and i said that if they did not behave themselves i would make the bbeg either aroace or happily married #(and also ace)

[skully-64]

Yikes

[skully-64]

[skully-64]

How do I be cool like Jesus Christ

Be kind

[skully-64]

before the poll, a quick definition of terms:

"mutual" - you found this post from a mutual (on their blog or your dash) "following" - you found this post from someone you're following, but who isn't following you "random" - you found this by scrolling through someone's blog, who you don't follow. this includes people following you "For You" - you found this on the For You page "recommended" - you found this in a "Check out these blogs" popup, or a "recommended" post when looking at a different post "other" - you found this post some other way. comment how? "reblog ✅" - you're going to reblog, queue, or schedule this post "reblog ❌" - you're NOT going to reblog, queue, or schedule this post

with that out of the way:

[skully-64]

fucked up how true crime almost always means rape/killing/kidnapping shit. what i lf i wanted true crime about the #1 best walmart shoplifter.

#yeah i'd listen to that podcast

[skully-64]

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

[skully-64]

She said she knew a place and she took me here

[skully-64]

oh you're in a horror film/book and your phone died/has no bars? how boring. I think phones in horror SHOULD work. they should ding only to have the protagonist check and find nothing. they should get calls from somebody you don't know but is still somehow in your contacts. google maps should lead you to one place, no matter what address you type in.

phones are such a big part of our daily lives, removing them from horror removes the horror from our experience. what if the horror felt like it could happen to you, right here, right now? what if it felt like it was already happening?

[skully-64]

hey google when will the amount of life you have missed out on stop hurting

[skully-64]

if you like penis coladas.. and getting shot in the brain!

[skully-64]

semiaquatic secret agent

[skully-64]

[skully-64]

[skully-64]

there are some internet friends where eventually you start calling them by their real name and then there’s times where its like nah son your name is crispy forever

#my dear second favorite son is named bitchboy and that his name shall remain for the rest of eternity #unless he asks me to call him something else

[skully-64]

REBLOG IF IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO BOTHER YOU IF YOU'RE MY MUTUAL

[skully-64]

dont let people tell u ur attraction to fire is "abnormal" or "hazardous" prometheus doesnt have his liver eaten every day for u to ignore the allure of arson