soexcuseuswhilewesingtothesky

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me, sitting bored at a table with 20 nerds: *sighs

me: why didnt they just fly on the eagl-

20 people screamimg at once, a fork is thrown at me, someone flips the table, the room is on fire

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He loaf

#puppy

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faramir. you agree. reblog.

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Paul: “may thy knife chip and shatter”

Feyd, internally: what the fuck? He’s got a signature gang sign before a fight AND a catch phrase? I usually skip straight ahead to killing people. Does he always do this? Is it weird I’m not doing this? Okay what is my response going to be? You know if I win this fight I’m absolutely using this on the next guy. Oh shit everybody is looking at me, quick say something

“May THY knife chip and shatter” fucking nailed it Feyd…

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I could have lived in peace (stayed warm in my bed) but my enemies (job that pays my bills) brought me war (e-mails i have to respond to)

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Just remember 60 people signed on to stab Caesar and he only had 23 stab wounds, the real moral of the story is group projects have always just been like that

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"if you see someone shoplifting, no you didn't" no but like. i really didn't. i have never in my life seen someone shoplifting because i'm not watching anyone else in the grocery store..? how are y'all noticing things like that. my only goals are enter the store, survive, exit the store

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I always wondered why the Western Zodiac and the Chinese Zodiac were both called zodiacs if one was associated w astronomy and the other w time in general. Like what defines a zodiac that the word is only used to describe these two things? Looking up the word “zodiac” in the dictionary didnt help bc it only talked about the western one.

Well, I decided to look up the etymology for zodiac and it turns out it comes from the Greek for “circle of little animals.” I love humans

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What’s the most simple thing you’ve ever had to explain to a fully competent adult?

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