sparkynekolinz13

[sparkynekolinz13]

[sparkynekolinz13]

We aces must start having pilgrimages to this place.

We have this city in my country that literally translates to ace mountain, and I think that's absolutely awesome and more people should know

a holy place 

[sparkynekolinz13]

This looks amazing!

Yo ADHD folks are you looking for an app to help you remember to get stuff done?

Because if so I’d like to recommend Habitica!

You make a little avatar of yourself!

Totally customizable!

And!!! If you’re wheelchair bound, guess what! Wheelchairs for your avatar are free! Check it out!

You have the categories of Habits, Dailies, and a To-Do list

And every time you check something off, you get health and XP!

Huzzah! I leveled up!

Use your XP to buy items and rewards!

I'ma give my little avatar a new helmet!

You also can get little pets!

I hatched a dragon!

[sparkynekolinz13]

If you realized you were LGBT+ late in your life, then I’m proud of you for doing so! Sometimes it takes a while to figure out, and it doesn’t make you any less valid! I love you all!

[sparkynekolinz13]

I would be shocked if this hasn’t been done before, but...

#depression #why didn't I think of that

[sparkynekolinz13]

I really hope 2019 is the year when the rhetoric “virgin=loser” freaking dies. I’m so tired of seeing and hearing this crap about how insulting/offensive is calling someone a virgin. I’m 28 this year, still a virgin and IDGAF. It is not a bad word! It is not an insult! You don’t need to get laid EVER to be a whole person. Those people should get a life. My fellow “no-sex” people, y’all valid and perfect!

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 

[sparkynekolinz13]

This pun is too amazing not to share.

I’m a Canadian ace. I guess you could say I’m... Eh-sexual.

🥁

[sparkynekolinz13]

When you’re aro/ace and the group you’re with starts talking about people they find hot

[sparkynekolinz13]

This is a really interesting read!

Hermeneutical Injustice in Consent and Asexuality

I was introduced to the concept of hermeneutical injustice a couple days ago and it’s been blowing my mind. I’ve been struggling for a while to reconcile consent and asexuality, specifically in the context where asexuality isn’t known. If asexuality isn’t an option, how can someone’s consent be truly free? Anagnori’s post on Asexuality and Consent Issues sums it up well:

Consent can only be freely given when all people involved are mentally, physically, socially and financially able to say “No.” An imbalance of power or of information limits the options that one of the partners can take, and it casts doubt on the voluntariness of the relationship. […] How many asexual people consent to sex that they would not have consented to if they grew up knowing that asexuality was a good, normal, and healthy way to be? How many people are pressured or manipulated into sex because they believe that they need to be fixed?

Queenie’s post on Mapping the grey area of sexual experience: consent, compulsory sexuality, and sex normativity shows how prevalent these experiences are:

I’ve had countless conversations with other aces who felt pressured into sex before they discovered asexuality, not necessarily because their partner was standing over them saying, “You must have sex with me or the heavens will smite you with thunderbolts” (although that has happened to some people), but because they couldn’t think of a “good” reason why they shouldn’t want to have sex. They loved their partner. They had birth control. They hadn’t experienced trauma. What was stopping them? Why didn’t they want it?

I think part of the problem is that there’s this idea that people’s natural state is wanting sex and wanting to consent to sex. […] You don’t need a reason to consent; ”you need a *reason* to opt out of sex rather than a reason to opt-in in the first place.“

This is a personal topic for me. I wouldn’t have consented to a lot of things in a previous relationship had I known that asexuality existed – had I known that asexuality is “a good, normal, and healthy way to be” – and there’s a lot of hurt in that for me. I was blamed and blamed myself for not being sexually attracted to my partner; after realizing that I’m asexual, I was able to stop blaming myself for not feeling sexual attraction. But then I became angry. I was angry at my ex for pushing sex. I was angry at the abysmal state of sex ed. I was angry at compulsory sexuality. And I was angry at myself. Why hadn’t I had the courage and confidence to say no?

I blamed my ex for a while – why did he push it when I said no so many times before? why did he enjoy it when I was clearly disinterested? – but that didn’t feel quite right. I said yes multiple times, and people can’t read minds. So then I was back to blaming myself. Perhaps if I truly felt so strongly that I didn’t want to have sex, I would have said no every time. But that doesn’t encapsulate the pressure and feeling of brokenness that I felt – the unspoken social norm that because I didn’t have a “good” reason to “deny” him, saying yes was a given. The problem is that I was left with no way to explain my hurt. On the surface, it shouldn’t have been a big deal: he said yes, I said yes, therefore everything was consensual. The problem is, had I known about asexuality, I would have said no. It felt like a wrong had occurred, even though there was no one to blame. And that is hermeneutical injustice.

Coined by Miranda Fricker in her book, Epistemic Injustice: Power and the Ethics of Knowing, hermeneutical injustice is “the injustice of having some significant area of one’s social experience obscured from collective understanding owing to a structural identity prejudice in the collective hermeneutical resource.” twin_me’s introduction to epistemic justice explains it well:

Hermeneutical injustice is scary because of the word “hermeneutical.” What we need to know is that “hermeneutical” just means “having to do with interpreting things” – and in our case, “having to do with interpreting our experiences.” The foundational idea is fairly straightforward: having certain concepts helps us interpret our experiences. (Imagine trying to interpret the experience of anger or jealously or being “in the zone” without having a name or concept for it). But, how is this injustice? The answer to this question lies in the fact that a lot of experiences never become concepts that everyone learns. In fact, the concepts that everyone learns are often the concepts of people who are doing pretty well in society – not marginalized people. So, roughly, hermeneutical injustice happens when the reason that a relevant concept doesn’t become part of the collective consciousness is because the concept interprets an experience that is felt primarily by a marginalized group. Because [there] is no concept for the injustice the person is feeling, the person can’t express, understand, or know it.

Fricker discusses a few case studies, the central case being the story of a woman, Wendy Sanford, who had severe depression after the birth of her first child. She blamed herself for her depression, and her husband blamed her as well. A friend convinced her to go to a workshop on women’s medical and sexual health, where one of the small groups she was in started talking about postpartum depression. Suddenly, she was able to make sense of her experience. Just knowing that she was experiencing a real phenomenon that other people experience changed her life. Even though many people experienced postpartum depression, it wasn’t talked about, and it wasn’t in the collective consciousness.

The parallel between Wendy’s revelation about postpartum depression and an asexual person’s revelation about asexuality is clear, particularly when the asexual person is in a relationship with a non-ace person. Fricker writes, “the primary harm of hermeneutical injustice consists in a situated hermeneutical inequality: the concrete situation is such that the subject is rendered unable to make communicatively intelligible something which it is particularly in his or her interests to be able to render intelligible.” In sexual situations, an asexual is left without hermeneutical resources to interpret their feelings. The collective hermeneutical lacuna around asexuality – or to go one step further, the lacuna around asexual feelings in general, i.e. lack of sexual attraction without a socially prescribed reason – harms the asexual person’s ability to consent. Learning about asexuality is therefore not only a hermeneutical breakthrough, but an overcoming of epistemic injustice.

Asexual invisibility is harmful in more ways than specific situations of sexual consent, too. Fricker asks, “Is hermeneutical injustice sometimes so damaging that it cramps the very development of self?” She gives an example using Edmund White’s autobiographical novel, A Boy’s Own Story. As he describes his love for a friend, the collective hermeneutical resources classifying homosexuality as a “sickness” or an “adolescent stage to pass through” conflicts with his own feelings. His sense of self is being formed by collective understandings of homosexuality, which are more powerful than his singular personal experiences. “The primary harm of hermeneutical injustice, then, is to be understood not only in terms of the subject’s being unfairly disadvantaged by some collective hermeneutical lacuna, but also in terms of the very construction (constitutive and/or causal) of selfhood. In certain social contexts, hermeneutical injustice can mean that someone is socially constituted as, and perhaps even caused to be, something they are not, and which it is against their interests to be seen to be.”

Similarly, an asexual’s sense of self is formed by collective understandings of sexuality, leading to feelings of brokenness, abnormality, and isolation. When the collective hermeneutical resources construct sexuality as default, there is no way develop a healthy asexual selfhood. Moreover, asexuals are socially constituted as sexual where, particularly in intimate and physical relationships, it is against their interests to be seen as such. We see the harm in this played out again in issues of consent. The collective understandings of sexuality are more powerful than the singular personal experiences of asexuals, and an asexual person doesn’t have the courage and confidence backed by hermeneutical resources to say that their feelings and experiences are valid and must be respected by their partner.

When you find yourself in a situation in which you seem to be the only one to feel the dissonance between received understanding and your own intimated sense of a given experience, it tends to knock your faith in your own ability to make sense of the world, or at least the relevant region of the world. […] hermeneutical injustice not only brings secondary practical disadvantages, it also brings secondary epistemic disadvantages [… that] stem most basically from the subject’s loss of epistemic confidence. The various ways in which loss of epistemic confidence might hinder one’s epistemic career are, to reiterate, that it can cause literal loss of knowledge, that it may prevent one from gaining new knowledge, and more generally, that it is likely to stop one gaining certain important epistemic virtues, such as intellectual courage.

When I learned about asexuality, it was like the floodgates opened. Suddenly there was a term for my experiences and an entire community built around discussing them. Backed by this collective knowledge, I’m much more confident in my self, my boundaries, and my relationships. However, I was still left with pain and bitterness about my previous relationship; I didn’t have a model or framework in which to analyze a situation where lack of knowledge – for which no one was accountable – would’ve affected consent.

Now, we can talk about these consent situations as hermeneutical injustice. It encapsulates the visceral feeling that something wrong has occurred, yet no one involved in the situation is directly responsible. Fricker concludes, “hermeneutical injustice is not inflicted by any agent, but rather is caused by a feature of the collective hermeneutical resource – a one-off blind spot (in incidental cases), or (in systematic cases) a lacuna generated by a structural identity prejudice in the hermeneutical repertoire. Consequently, questions of culpability do not arise in the same way. None the less, they do arise, for the phenomenon should inspire us to ask what sorts of hearers we should try to be in a society in which there are likely to be speakers whose attempts to make communicative sense of their experiences are unjustly hindered.”

When people say that sexuality is a personal matter and no one should care what people do (or don’t do) in bed, it means that the collective hermeneutical lacuna around non-heterosexualities will never be filled. When people are confused on why some asexuals feel the need to “come out”, I can now explain hermeneutical injustice. As Anagnori concludes:

This is why asexual awareness is so important. We need everyone in the world to know that we exist, not only so that we can be respected, but so that millions of other asexual people can have the power to make informed, confident choices about their own sexuality. We need asexual people everywhere to know that they are not broken, abnormal or wrong for what they are feeling, and that they have the right to reject sex at any time, for any reason. When asexual people can confidently say “No,” then they will also be able to say “Yes” with more certainty and weight, and they will have the option of forming sexual relationships that respect their asexuality and bring them happiness.

In her article, Queenie goes on to state that the simple knowledge of the existence of asexuality might not be enough to counter compulsory sexuality, i.e. aces aren’t “suddenly free from pressure and expectations” after realizing they’re asexual. I completely agree. To analyze other consent situations, there’s Emily Nagoski’s model of consent (with addendums made by other people, as mentioned in the first paragraph of Queenie’s post). I’m also particularly fond of Lisa’s non-binary power model of consent. However, for the very specific case of an asexual person consenting to sex when either partner had no knowledge or understanding of asexuality, I believe that hermeneutical injustice is the best interpretation of the situation.

[sparkynekolinz13]

This is amazing.

Coming into a fandom late

[sparkynekolinz13]

Reminder: Don’t let your brain bully you, sometimes our minds are cruel to us. You deserve to live, you deserve to eat, you deserve to express your feelings. People do like you! You’re doing a pretty good job, and you are worth more than you give yourself credit for.

[sparkynekolinz13]

i’m so done with the way girls in twenties are treated. i’m so done with people who literally create timetable for us. 20- 24  find a guy, 24-26 make him propose to you, 27-29 get married. i’m so done. i’m do not want to get 2 a.m texts from my best friend who is freaking out that she is gonna die alone. i do not want see my 20 years old friend wasting her time on some guys who are not even interested in her. i do not want see us falling for every nice guy who does not look creepy. i do not want to see girls get sad or paranoid just bcos they do not fill in the schedule. you are ok. you should enjoy your life at its fullest and one day you will find 10/10 so do not pursue 6 just because you do not want to be single. it is ok and one day you will find someone. do not split your love with people who does not deserve it. keep it for yourself and when time will come you will know. i know it hurts. i know you wish u could just open part of yourself and release the buzzing love. but not every kind of love is romantic. show it to your family, friends, plants, yourself.

[sparkynekolinz13]

[sparkynekolinz13]

Details From Disney Movies

In The Lion King, unlike the other lions, Scar’s claws are always displayed throughout the movie.

In The Little Mermaid (1998) when King Triton is introduced, you can see Mickey, Donald, Goofy and Kermit the Frog in the crowd, underwater.

In Cars, the flies are actually tiny cars with wings.

In Hercules (1997) the Fates tell Hades all the planets will align but only show 6 planets aligning. These are the 5 planets plus Earth that the ancient Greeks were aware of and could see with the naked eye.

In Zootopia, while Officer Judy Hopps is ticketing cars around the city, she never crosses the street illegally. She always uses a crosswalk and looks both ways before crossing.

In monsters inc, sully’s chair has a hole in it to accommodate his tail.

In The Brave Little Toaster, all of the walls in the cottage are cleaned only as high as Blanky can reach.

In Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, during the food storm the president’s of Mount Rushmore get pied in the face but Abe gets hit in the back just like his assassination.

In Cars the truck stop advertises “convertible waitresses” i.e., topless.

In Finding Nemo, Bruce the shark starts crying when Marlin starts talking about Nemo, saying “I never knew my father”. Male sharks mate with the female then leave, so baby sharks never actually meet their father.

The Magic Carpet from Aladdin makes an appearance in Moana.

In UP, there are craft supplies on the table by Ellie’s hospital bed when she gives the Adventure Book to Carl.

The hold up scene in the Incredibles is actually an homage to a similar scene from Die Hard with a Vengeance, which also starred Samuel L. Jackson.

In Toy Story 3 (2010) Buzz Lightyear’s batteries are exposed showing the Buy n Large brand, the same company responsible for making WALL·E.

In Ratatouille (2007) Anton Ego’s typewriter resembles a skull and his office a coffin.

In Monsters, Inc. (2001), there are multiple sizes of coffee cup for each of the different sized monsters.

In Toy Story 2 (1999), as the restorationist is going through his equipment, he opens a drawer filled with chess pieces. This is a reference to the Pixar short “Geri’s Game” where a similar looking man plays a game of chess against himself.

In Inside Out (2015) while going through Imagination Land a game box can be seen in the background with Nemo on it called Find Me.

In Cars, you can spot Sully and Mike in cars form!

At the end of Ratatouille (2007) Anton Ego is a little bit fatter. This is especially poignant since he states, “I don’t like food, I love it… if I don’t love it I don’t swallow.”

In Coco we can see The Incredibles poster.

Insuricare, the company that offers “car life insurance” to the cars in Cars 2, is the same company Bob Parr works for in The Incredibles.

In Inside Out (2015) two of the memory orbs on the shelves contain scenes from Up (2009). One features Carl & Ellie’s wedding, while the other shows their house.

In Toy Story Woody is trapped in a crate which is stuck under a ‘Binford’ tool-box. Binford is the fictional tool company in the TV show Home Improvement which starred Tim Allen, the voice of Buzz Lightyear.

In The Incredibles, in Bob Parr’s home office, there’s a photo from a fishing trip where it appears he caught Bruce from Finding Nemo.

In Cars 2 (2011) while in a pub in London there is a tapestry on the wall that is the DunBroch family tapestry from Brave (2012), except they are portrayed as cars.

In “Ratatouille” (2007), Linguini has to hide Remy before his second day of work. He offers to hide him in his pants, revealing his briefs covered in The Incredibles logo.

After the plane is blown up in The Incredible, Helen (Elastigirl) knows the plane debris is going to fall on them due to seeing the reflection in the water.

[sparkynekolinz13]

Don't kill yourself, please.

If you’re suffering from depression and are looking for a sign to not go through with ending your life, this is it. This is the sign. We care.

If you see this on your dash, reblog it. You could save a life.

[sparkynekolinz13]

The other day at the mall i saw a 15 year old sitting in a Claire’s piercing booth and it took every fiber in my being to not just grab her and take her to the actual, clean and sanitary and not guaranteed to fuck up your ears tattoo shop literally next door. Like I was frantic. Snakes manifested in my house

Piercing guns almost ALWAYS cause infections

They hurt more because they jam dull jewelry into your ear

Needles from a professional are designed to allow for minimum damage thus less pain.

The people working there literally have no idea what the fuck they’re doing and just guess it with a 1 hour training video vs a professional who trained under a mentor for at least a year and has a passion in the craft

They use bad metal for healings (copper, silver, etc) that can irritate ears. Surgical grade steel should be the only thing in your healing piercings

They put them on way to tight, causing swelling issues. Swelling is normal and piercings should be large enough to allow for that

They give you shit aftercare advice and cleaner (literally just buy saline solution at Spencer’s or hot topic for 8 dollars at the most and don’t touch them at all)

If done on cartilage it can LITERALLY SHATTER YOUR EARS

Please if any young girls in your family want their ears pierced take them to actual professional and don’t trust piercing guns. If a professional says your kid is too young (I.e a fucking baby) then trust their professional judgement. It costs more but you are getting essentially a art piece from a highly trained professional who knows what they’re doing vs a part time min wage employee who had 1 hour training on how to pierce ears.

I literally wrote an entire essay in college why piercing guns should be banned with pictures and my professor told me she was so interested in my topic and had no idea and even googled the topic herself out of curiosity and was horrified on the amount of damage they case

[sparkynekolinz13]

Dear People Who Smoke

I don’t know if you have considered this but stop smoking in areas where people are forced to wait at. Don’t smoke at crosswalks. Don’t smoke outside doorways. Don’t smoke at bus stops. People with asthma or other breathing conditions or people that idk DON’T WANT TO BREATHE IN YOUR CIGARETTE SMOKE are trying to get to places and need to be able to breathe. Stop smoking in crowded areas. stop smoking in crowded areas. STOP FORCING NONSMOKERS TO SECOND HAND SMOKE.