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Marie The Konquerer

The year is 2045.

KonMaria has now been adopted by 38 countries as official domestic policy.

Marie Kondo has been elected ‘ruler in absentia’ in 12 of them, and declared Queen in a further 5.Giant statues of her are erected at every airport, diplomatic building and Home Depot.

Everything is folded neatly and placed small, in easy-to-access boxes.

Charities and shelters are so full to bursting with donations they can no longer focus on their work. The UN has declared that, to end the crisis, all items that do not spark joy are to be launched into the sun by 2050.

In this, the final episode in season 84 of Tidying Up, Marie has finished helping Greg, a compulsive hoarder and last human being to adopt KonMari, to throw away his thousands of back issues of ‘Angling and Flyfishing’ magazine. Iida The Translator looks on beneficently as they hug.

Greg (tearful): Thank you so much Marie. You’ve turned my life around.

Marie: *claps* Now my work in finally complete!

Greg: Yeah, it’s been a really journey...

Marie: Time for the FINAL LESSON.

Greg; Wha…?

The screen displays the title ‘Lesson 5: Only Joy’

Marie raises her arms and a pair of giant, silvery wings emerge from her back. Iida The Translator opens all 50 of her mouths and speaks in every language at once.

Iida: The chaos has been defeated. Joy reigns! Order reigns! Rejoice, humanity, rejoice!

The two rise up on a beam of golden light, as the whole of the world watches them disappear into the clouds. They stand over the Earth, looking down on its neat, tidy perfection.

Marie flaps her wings once, and entropy halts - all life on Earth freezes, preserved in the moment of joy. It will be like this forever. Marie smiles.

Marie: Arigato!

She folds the Earth into a neat rectangle and places it, along with other completed planets, in a small box. Iida the Translator looks at her. She nods. They move on to the next planet, and after that the next, and the next, until all there is….is the spark of joy.

#konmarie #flash fiction #Marie Kondo #Tidying Up #Netflix #So my OH and I have been watching a lot of this #small boxes #folding

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i made a small collection of frog emojis! free to use, you can get them here !

Edit: I have added a few new ones!

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consider… trans boy & trans girl solidarity… bi buddies… 

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Toadvember Day 20: Self Love/Self Care

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another episode of “what does my mom think of frogs” this time a tomato frog!

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Puddy is feeling beautiful today

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I actually do have misgivings about dividing the world into sanitised services free from the horror of the insufficiently artistic nude figure and services based on 100% hardcore pornography, which is what you tend to get once you start enforcing the porn/not-porn divide; I mean there are obvious incentives at play but it does seem worth noting that a Tumblr user potentially could curate a personal experience that includes erotic elements without subjecting themselves to the seventeen varieties of digital chlamydia they would immediately contract on visiting PornHub, and that banning this will eliminate various forms of mildly playful or experimental sexuality, forcing everything and everyone into an strict all-or-nothing paradigm.

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the two genders, dandy and bacchante,

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Flags

I have had 3 mineral posts flagged as adult content today. They contained a tourmaline, a muscovite, and a galena. On Friday I had 3 fossil posts flagged as adult content, including a fossil fish, a fossil tooth from a mastodon, and a Tyrannosaur vertebrae. I’ve submitted appeals for each. This has been getting worse over the past month, apparently most of geology content is now only for adults. 

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Alternatives to Tumblr if Yahoo goes any further

Soup.io - well-known alternative to Tumblr. Reblogging, post types, themes, collab blogs, dashboard, artsy, great community already there. Soup can auto-import everything you’ve posted on Tumblr.

TypePad - Includes reblogging. Dashboard and post types similar to Tumblr.

Jux - Artful posts, beautiful blogging experience

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Bisexual / With Pig Themes - moodboard for anon (mod Luna)

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reblog if your blog is bisexual positive

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I usually support her choice in dirt holes but that one is pretty bad.

Well I still support it.

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While reading Diamond is Unbreakable

Mom - “Who is that guy?”

Me - “That’s Josuke, he’s the main character right now”

Mom - “Oh, he looks like the Blade Runner Lady”

Well I’ll be damned 

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Pepper