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you can imagine girls covered in alarming amounts of blood for free any time you want. they cant stop you from doing this

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went to scared.com and they said youre a regular. they said youve got prey animal rank.

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Call me a bucket full of pennies the way having sex with me is difficult and painful for others

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my number one skill is being sooo cute and my number two skill is the ancient curse

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tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn

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“I’m becoming who I am and it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever done.” Posted from the PostSecret website.

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I'm like if a sensitive sweetheart was a bit bitter and loathesome

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person with a deep academic knowledge of a subject, but they seem to hate and resent that fact.

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affirmations for crossing the road:

- i know what i'm doing

- the road will always be clear when i want to cross it

- nobody will ever beep their horn at me because i'm special

- drivers will recognise my divine right of passage and stop for me

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when did we as a society start allowing a sandwich to cost sixteen dollars? eighteen? I know I've paid twenty-one dollars for a sandwich at this point. is this just the world now? sandwich prices don't come down like gas prices. they go up & up & up. good luck to us all

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me as a child: this "$4.99" sales stuff is idiotic, anyone can instantly round this up to $5 in their mind, no one is falling for this

me as an adult: oh wow only $4 (with some additional numbers behind it), that's great because if it was a single dollar more that would have been the last straw for me in my miserable life

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the bus to itself every time you press the button:

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Dear professor this assignment did not nourish my fundamentally curious soul so i did not do it No penalty full 100 points please Goodbye!

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okay i'll bite is such a good phrase. like i will

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ever since i was a little girl i always knew i wanted to be some sort of horrendous freak

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love "et cetera" like... theres soooo much more. beyond your wildest imaginations. Not gonna tell u what tho. Move on

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"have you learned how to drive yet" i have the spirit of friendship in my heart. the joy of lifes little things in my soul. the whimsy of magic. the beautiful enjoyment of nature. the answer is no though