iiicarus0

[iiicarus0]

ill keep writing about surviving because i don't know what else there is

[iiicarus0]

You cannot be a lesbian if you like men btw.

oh shit my bad, I wasn't aware I had to ask anonymous tumblr users for permission to gaze upon women lustfully

[iiicarus0]

if you like penis coladas.. and getting shot in the brain!

#hdb

[iiicarus0]

please tell me i’m not the only one who thought these jean lines were corny as fuck when i first read them. like we spend the entire game in the mind of a very mentally ill and depressed man, and ngl based on the target audience of this game i’m gonna assume a lot of people have first hand experience with depression, and he’s like erm. sorry i didn’t want to stick around during your mental health crisis, i am DEPRESSED. sorry i don’t think your joke is funny, did i mention i have CLINICAL DEPRESSION. i dunno it just reads to me like he’s trying to make harry feel bad for having to put up with his shit but it’s just soooo corny to me 😭😭

also idk something about jean’s ableism throughout the game towards harry and how he specifically phrases it as “clinically depressed”. dunno what exactly i’m trying to get at but it’s floating in my brain and i can’t put it into words rn

#jean vicquemare #discoposting #okay not to add to the fuckass jean discourse BUT #i feel like jean's role as a character is meant to be symbolic of The System #whether that's the system of capital or policing or societal stigma against mental illness and addiction or whatever #probably all of it to some extent or another #but because he still lives in a broken poverty-stricken society he's still affected by it #so yes! he probably is depressed! personally i think he also has some substance use issues but that's headcanon territory #but the thing is that he seems to use it as an excuse for his behavior. he can be as nasty and ableist as he wants #but it's Okay because he's Also Depressed #the system he represents isn't allowed to be critiqued meaningfully #harry isn't supposed to push against moralism or the coalition #so this is both a realistic character trait and also an out so that the character that symbolizes the system cannot be criticized #he's not supposed to push against the state of policing (excluding the Retour stuff) #jean observed him from a distance the whole fuckin time and didn't do anything #and now he shows up to QUITE LITERALLY be harry's judge #he offers practically no assistance to this mentally unstable man throughout the game and then shows up at the end to rip him to shreds #because the system harry lives in isn't interested in helping him #i think there's a lot of interpretations of jean that focus more on the character of Jean Vicquemare and those are also cool to me! #but personally i'm more interested in the. i guess literary implications of his character #sorry for the tag essay #i also think he should have kept the wig on for the second tribunal and ripped it off dramatically when harry still didnt recognize him #but that's unrelated

[iiicarus0]

what i tell myself every day

#me when the bloated corpse isnt going anywhere

[iiicarus0]

fixed it‼️

#harry du bois #hdb

[iiicarus0]

What was y’all’s favorite scene in Marble Hornets? Mine personally was when Jay jumped on the table and said “Now who just marbled my hornets” then shoots the operator with a shotgun

#in complete honesty they never really tried just shooting the operator #it might have worked #two episode long video horror series: give tim and jay a couple of sawed-offs #marble hornets

[iiicarus0]

realising i'm a masochist did actually make me better at getting out of my comfort zone because now i can just reframe it as microdosing on getting off

#i hate that this works but it does work #spice up your panic attacks with: masochism!

[iiicarus0]

No, no. Stop it. UNDO. Make him look horrible!! do it!!! MAKE HIM LOOK HORRIBLE GODDAMMIT! STOP CLEARING HIS SKIN!!! STOP SMOOTHING HIM!!!!! STOP REMOVING HIS SHIRT STAINS!!!! GIVE. HIM. HIS. RECEEDING HAIRLINE AND IMPERFECT TEETH!!! NO ABS NO ASS!!!!!!

#disco elysium #hdb #every day i think of Gerber Baby Du Bois and feel despair #GIVE HIM HIS BELLY #GIVE HIM HIS BODY HAIR #HE'S COVERED IN PISS AND VOMIT WHY ARE HIS CLOTHES PRISTINE #**AND WHERE IS HIS STUPID LITTLE FROG ASS**

[iiicarus0]

happy aro month! abolish relationship hierarchies stay hydrated and be kind to urself and others. most of all be very very aro 🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️

[iiicarus0]

I’m sorry for giving the king of England cancer

[iiicarus0]

dolores dei + joyce messier on harry being uniquely "insane"

#disco elysium #de #discoposting #harry du bois #god there's so much room for analysis with the whole Dora/Dolores that harry has constructed in his head #i (and many others) would argue that the version of dora we meet isn't even close to the real one!! #she's a construct of a) how harry remembers her #and b) what harry fills the blanks in with #so of course when everybody in his life tells him he's insane and worthless and a drunk and scum he believes it! #he believes it so strongly that his perception of his fucking ex is distorted into something that exists only to reinforce those beliefs! #do i even need to point to Pain Threshold being a separate complete skill/component of his personality that persisted even after amnesia? #the world keeps telling him he's crazy and beyond saving and he's internalized it so much #there's an entire part of his brain that's dedicated to reveling in it/rubbing his face in it! #i'm so normal about this game

[iiicarus0]

my role on the leftist commune will be passive-aggressively moving the freshly-washed “clean” dishes that still have food residue on them back into the “unclean” section

[iiicarus0]

Of the skills, my favorite is half-light. Underneath all the macho bullshit it spews, half light is really the part of Harry that is scared like an animal. It's his fight or flight response and obviously Harry is set to fight. And I love how it's there, telling you to be afraid, telling you that you must protect yourself because you're in danger. To me, it's even more than fight or flight, half light is ptsd to me. The scene where you discover Cuno's dad is really the moment that illuminated that for me. The way half light keeps breaking into your stream of though, and your heart starts to pound and you start to sweat and it's a silly scene in some ways because your response is so wildly out of proportion to the reality. If Harry were more observant, he would have realized that Cuno's dad is no threat even before they entered the apartment, but for one thing, he's dumb as rocks in this playthrough, and for another, that's ptsd. It's not rational, it's not prortional, it's being scared like a wild animal and it's trying to protect yourself whatever harm you know is coming

#disco elysium #discoposting #de #harry du bois #hdb #somebody wrote an article discussing the connection between half light shivers and trauma #i think it's so interesting and impactful how the game portrays the trauma harry has as embedded into his very nervous system #like this man remembers Nothing #total amnesia doesn't even know his name nor his address nor his job #but he still has visceral reactions to anything his body recognizes as a trigger #christ he has no fucking idea who his ex dora even IS and yet he reads her letter and it's so bad he has a panic attack and passes out #the mind forgets but the flesh remembers or whatever #especially when you tie in shivers like his connection and past with the city he loves is so strong #that it survived everything else about harry being completely wiped away by the pale #anyway #half light my special little guy #i'm so normal about this game

[iiicarus0]

Guy mugging me pulls a gun out and holds it to my face thinking I'll give him my wallet but I start sucking on the barrel and moaning instead

#the most hdb post ive ever fucking seen

[iiicarus0]

one neat bonus of being a picky eater as a child is that adult life is filled with so many beautiful discoveries. have you guys heard about caesar salad? im turning 26 this week

#very true but it also means telling your roommate you don't know what buffalo sauce is and getting The Shocked And Disappointed Look

[iiicarus0]

#mourning doves have always been my favorite #since moving away from my hometown i haven't seen/heard them as much but #now if i hear one cooing in the early morning air i'm instantly cured of every ailment mental and physical