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Ok, I have risen from the dead because these two are hilarious to me in their entire concept.

So everyone is talking about the Vox and Alastor rivalry especially with the season finale with Vox’s commentary and the torn photo. Like, those two fucking HATE each other so comically. Everyone says it’s more on Vox’s side but I disagree cause on the very first episode Alastor HATES having to deal with video and being recorded. Maybe we didn’t pick up on it before but he’s very subtly INSULTING Vox that whole time.

But, could anyone discuss how funny it would be if they were still friends THIS ENTIRE TIME. Has anyone had those two friends who throw insults and fight with each other 24/7 but they’re actually super close? Like BFF levels of close? Just me?

Think about it: Alastor’s radio broadcasting things were still there after 7 years. You can’t tell me Vox wouldn’t have brought those down at some point even if someone else used them? Or just built some as his own version to display some sort of power grab? Like c’mon even if they were there for an important reason Vox would have found a way to take them over.

It would just be so funny for both sides to hear only insults about the other- constant slander and threats almost daily. Vox will not shut up about how much of a has-been Alistor is and about how he was gone for 7 years just RAGING. And the other half Alastor refuses to allow TVs into the hotel, constantly insults videos or any V products, and keeps making sly insults about Vox ANYTIME a video or TV is even referenced near him.

So it comes a time for the two groups to team up for one reason or another and they’re both dreading it. Val doesn’t want to deal with a grouchy and pissed Vox the entire partnership and Velvette knows she won’t get a moments peace. Charlie is coming up with plans on how to get the two to get along while Vaggie is simultaneously strategizing how to keep them away from each other. Everyone else in the hotel is all tensed and worried.

Than comes the meeting. They’re staring each other down for a good couple moments as the others around them make awkward small talk and then:

Vox: NO CALL!!!

Al: I don’t use-

Vox: NO LETTER!!!

Al: I WAS BUSY!

Vox: Doing what? Being old?

Al: Regaining my sanity after our last brunch.

Vox: Oh I make ONE bland dish and you-

And then the two are arguing for HOURS. There’s not a soul in that room who has the bravado to get in between them or butt in. They’re all either terrified or seriously confused. Eventually the argument boils down to something akin to an actual conversation like two friends catching up.

Someone, I think Charlie, asks them about their rivalry and if they can work together now. Vox and Al share a confused look before they realize: they had never told anyone the status of their relationship. Vox is doubled over laughing while Alastor has his face in his hands trying not to do the same thing. Everyone is concerned.

When they’re done they have to tell the two groups how they knew each other for forever since their respective falls and had even heard about each other when they were alive. They became extremely close friends shortly after meeting and only became ‘rivals’ when they thought they were both becoming to arrogant and unchallenged.

Their friends are all horrified and confused.

Vox and Al think it’s hilarious.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin vox #hazbin headcanons

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This is what that baldurs gate vampire looks like to me

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The Everything's Fine AU

It's what we hope will happen in S3.

Tech's alive and fine. Crosshair rejoins the Batch. Everyone's alive.

Oh, and they join the Rebellion.

And cause the Empire so much chaos.

Also they team up with the Ghost crew.

It's fun.

~~~

Chopper: When do I get my own gun? Echo: I wouldn’t trust you with a Nerf gun.

Chopper: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Echo is walking in this room. Crosshair: *wheeze*

Echo: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Hera: Fucking Ezra and Omega were trying to summon a Sith force ghost again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

Hunter: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve. Zeb: I think you mean cards. Omega: He did not. Hunter, pulling out knives: I did not.

Hera: I’m telling you, my team is competent. Crosshair, rushing in: Hera! Your boyfriend tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Stormtrooper: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single speeder bike. Omega, with Sabine and Zeb behind her: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Stormtrooper: Yes…three. Omega: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Stormtrooper: Wha- Omega: Ezra FUCKING FELL OFF!

Crosshair: What are you doing here? Chopper: I could ask you the same question. Crosshair: I live here. This is my squad's ship. Chopper: I should probably ask you a different question.

Ezra: Crosshair has only punched me three times this week. Our friendship is really developing.

Tech: *Shoves the door open, looking panicked* Kanan: What did you do?! Tech: NOBODY DIED! Kanan: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

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People really need to understand the games industry before critiquing anything about it. This is specifically about the use of the phrase ""crunch time"".

Let's define crunch culture.

Work weeks exceeding 40 hours, often to the extent of more than 80 hours a week.

Unpaid overtime, because developers are almost always salaried.

Overtime not being ""required"", but if you don't, your contract is let lapse.

Unreachable deadlines that are completely inflexible.

Emotional abuse from management, from fans, from execs, and at times from coworkers.

Normalized retaliation—leaving employees out of credits, suing, and even blacklisting from the entire industry if anyone speaks up.

Employees falling physically ill and having mental breakdowns, requiring them to take unpaid leave. Sometimes for months.

BioWare uses the term 'stress casualty' to refer to those who take months-long hiatuses—usually unpaid, and sometimes never coming back. According to a creative lead on the game Anthem, the amount of developers who this happened to was literally uncountable.

As of 2014, 81% of developers polled had crunched recently, and an entire half considered it expected of them. This happens to non-developer creatives as well: Jessica Chavez, a localization writer for publisher XSEED Games, lost 10% of her body weight and was unable to find the time to even get a haircut during 9 months of 80-hour work weeks.

This is what almost every game you enjoy is made through. You can't just boycott the new Pokémon because you think it sucks and came out quickly so it must be made through crunch time, then think you're helping—regardless of whether or not it is, almost every other game you enjoy is made through abuse.

(Plus, crunch time at its worst will literally make games take longer, as is true with the game LA Noire, which took 7 years... despite consistent work weeks of over 110 hours.)

Boycott does not work for a cultural issue—which crunch culture in games absolutely is, given 76% of devs working over 40 hours regularly still as of 2017. Ignoring it when it's quiet is enabling it.

If you play games and you are the least bit concerned about workers' rights, support unionization efforts. Boost their loved ones' stories, like ea_spouse's story about her husband becoming ill due to crunch. Vote for mandatory limits on work weeks. Don't stop talking about the Blizzard harrassment lawsuit.

Only caring when the game is bad is insulting—especially to the devs, artists, writers and more that you're ignoring because their games are good enough that them being abused doesn't matter.

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HE’S LITERALLY A SPITTING IMAGE OF HIS DAD NO ONE TALK TO ME

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Okay but Thrawn saying, "If a star whale approaches, destroy it with prejudice," made me laugh so hard. You can almost hear the spite in his voice. I just know he absolutely DESPISES those damn whales for ruining his plans and sending him on a forced sabbatical to a weird ass planet in some godforsaken galaxy with Ezra fucking Bridger as a tag along.

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One idea I have for SG Starscream is combining regular Starscream’s snarky attitude towards most people with SG Starscream intense loyalty and see what happens.

Oh now that would be so fucking funny

Like he says it all with 💖love💖 but he's so goddamn up to here with everyone getting on his nerves

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Megatron : *leaves the decepticons for 15 years and begins his redemption arc to atone for the crimes he had done in the past*

What the "evil" Decepticons that served under him nowadays are doing :

Yes I know the Soundwave and Shockwave ones are storyboard but I still say it counts.

I find it funny how the minute Megatron left all the decepticons became soft, now they're just out doing whatever they want and just being silly.

It'd be pretty interesting to see some geniunely bad decepticons again maybe they'll arrive from space? Cyclonus? scorponok? Tarn? Overlord? Because the main decepticons seemed to have given up their old ways, the entire decepticon high command got a seemingly redemption.

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starscream after returing the matrix to prime: damn god is kind of a bitch huh? i thought there'd be a lot more wrath but i just hissed at him and he gave me the shit i wanted. i should do that more often

my favorite thing about starop #87: its the guy who had his life changed by some all powerful God Artifact and the guy whos the embodiment of "the only god i see here is Me"

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As much as I love the angst fics coming out of megatron and starscreams recent interactions? I need me some comedy to cope.

For the love of the lord please give me starscream forced to be around megatron but instead of having a normal response and being outright scared and mean(deserved) like in ep 21. I just want him to be a bitch. like please give me passive aggressive starscream. A screamer who realizes that, since megatron has “morals” now and works with the autobots, he can’t reprimand him for his mutinous actions, comments and attitude like he used to.

I need me a starscream who calls megs “lord megatron” or “my lord” in the most condescending, spiteful, and sarcastic tone imaginable. A starscream who openly defies megatron’s leadership for absolutely no reason other than the fact that he can get away with it now. A starscream who milks tf out of megatron’s guilt. A starscream who, when megs shows any ounce of concern for his physical well-being (whether it be in the midst of battle or just some joint/wing pain), replies with the sassiest, most bitchy, most spiteful response possible.

Megatron, actually concerned for his former second: starscream, are you okay? I’ve been told you’re having some joint pain.

Starscream: really? I thought you of all mechs would know all about my never ending suffering but alas it seems you still haven’t learned

Megatron: ….

#this is all I’ve ever needed #PLEASE let him be petty #imagine no one is even mad at him for it #hashtag is concerned at first #but then she just JOINS IN

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when somebody loved me

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He was a sheltered kid

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Arthur, sliding a photo across the table: I need you to shoot this guy in the leg.

Charles: This is a photo of you?

Arthur: Dutch wants me to go robbing with Micah.

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Arthur and Sleep

A series of Headcanons. 

When he's in camp he is out, nothing short of gunfire and screaming can wake him

The hustle and bustle of camp actually helps him sleep, he's a very light sleeper when camping alone or out on the range. I lied, If there's a sudden silence in camp that will also wake him up

If Miss Grimshaw saw him ride in she wakes him at around 10am, if he rode in during the night and she didn't see him, she leaves him to sleep. She also shoos away and scolds everyone else that tries 

Dutch! You leave that boy alone and let him get some sleep. If you need something done why don't you go bother Uncle, the useless layabout!

John is very jealous of how Arthur can sleep in full daylight like it's nothing. John only gets good rest if it's completely dark, hence why he bothers to completely batten down his tent every night

Arthur is a sleepy cuddle monster, if anyone gets within arms reach he will cling on and drag them down for cuddles. Which would be all well and good if he wasn't also a living furnace

He gets so warm during the night. It feels like the moon crests and he just starts sweating. Hates sleeping in an enclosed tent if it's not raining, thus why he refuses to use the sidewalls of his tent in camp. He needs any bit of a breeze that he can get. Great for the colder months however. Everyone wants to share a tent with Arthur in the colder months.

Jack gets first priority cause he's a child and he's teensy, but it is a vicious race for who else gets to share. Hosea is usually also a shoo in because he has Papa privilege, but Javier has a suspicious habit of being in the tent just chatting away when the time for bedding down comes and for Arthur to kindly extend an invitation to just stay the night. So, of course Javier obliges him.

Javier is Mexican down to his bones, he does not like the cold.

Arthur can and will nap absolutely everywhere in the camp, but it happens most often if he's sitting with someone. If there's a gap in conversation there's a 50/50 chance of him dozing off. And these odds rise in proportion to the length of the silence. Charles finds it very cute, he's very honored that Arthur trusts him that much. Hosea takes direct advantage of it by inviting Arthur for a chat then deliberately timing things so he falls asleep. Sean and Lenny have made a sport of timing it and the whole camp gets in on betting on how long it'll take this time, the current record is One minute and twenty-seven seconds.

A kind anon requested a version about john so here's a link if that interests you↓

John and Sleep

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The “Shepard Effect” has gotten so much funnier to me as I replay Mass Effect. The thing where all Shep’s squadmates end up flying the nest and becoming big important players in their own spheres? Like the random mercenary Shep brought along to hunt Saren ended up leading his entire species, that random Quarian kiddo on her Pilgrimage ends up as her species ambassador, the Virmire survivor becomes the next human Specter, etc. It’s the effect Shepard just has on the people around them that launches their careers/destinies… except it doesn’t apply to Shepard themself. I get the marketing plan of “Commander Shepard” being the only title so they’re more recognizeable to a gamer audience, but from a military perspective it is so fucking funny that Commander Shepard doesn’t get promoted once. Like not even posthumously, not even after saving the Citadel and killing Reapers left and right, all the while their squadmates are jumping from lieutenant to major, kid to ambassador, professor to Shadow Broker. Garrus isn’t even attached to any government body, and he still goes from C-Sec officer to Omega vigilante to Reaper expert(?) in the turian Hierarchy. It’s unclear what his official position is in the third game, but we know he gets a salute from a Hierarchy general.

And here’s Shepard cruising through, still a Commander because obviously they haven’t done a single thing worthy of promotion since the first game. No, it’s fine, they’ll fix everything for you and keep killing Reapers left and right. Died in the line of duty? Just a normal tuesday for Commander Shepard, nothing noteworthy here. Yes they will be the commanding officer of a major, there is nothing strange about this rank structure. 

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checking through the ao3 tag reminds me of when you dont feed your cat for exactly 1 minute after normal feeding time and they act like they are perishing