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you’ve survived all your worst days before. you can survive this one too.

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smooth by santana feat rob thomas was actually first performed completely on accident by a migrating herd of lambeosaurus who became lost in a snowstorm 80 million years ago

#I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS FOR MONTHS #I need to get this on a blanket or a wall tapestry or something so I can have it forever bc I think this is so goddamn funny

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in a hotel room very cautiously removing my clothing slowly and constantly looking around the room shifty and scared as fuck anticipating attacks while a beautiful pair of women sitting side by side on the bed in matching lingerie excitedly but restrained with carefully lowered vioices cheer me on. they say Yes thats it thats how sex works! youre doing it right yeah! youve got it keep going! and im finally down to a sports bra and one tube sock when a car alarm putside startles me and i lunge for the empty handgun on the floor and put it in my mouth while they panic and scramble trying to calm me down petting my hair and cooing gently

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art by Seth Tobochman

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rb to explode a terf ^_^ nonrefundable ^_^

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i think jennette mccurdy deserves to be given a shotgun and power armor and to chase dan schneider through a maze and go doomguy on his ass and personally send him to hell

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like a moth to a flame i can’t help what i desire etc etc

ko-fi

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Here's another cool idea. Card holders, for seniors and kids. And I found a Pattern Great use of Scrap Fabrics!! https://www.madeformermaids.com/playingcardholdertutorial/

#BITCHIN

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some days you really do have to just find and wrench one tiny thing from the world w the determination of a hog digging out truffles and make it your anchor. raindrops on a window. smell of the bakery in the supermarket. single defiant tuft of grass between the cracks on the pavement. etc. hold it all w equally grubby and defiant hands.

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"Hate Nazis / Hate Cops"

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[person 500 years ago knitting a sock] O Sister Margaret, regale me again with the tale of Vicar Wesley's scandalous elopement with the baker's daughter!

[me today knitting a sock] O Youtuber Hbomberguy, regale me again with the tale of SHERLOCK IS GARBAGE, AND HERE'S WHY

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2024 AFFIRMATIONS

YOU ARE NOT UNIQUELY HORRIBLE

DESIRE IS THE ROOT OF ALL SUFFERING

KILL THE MAN IN YOUR HEAD

YOU HAVE TWO GOOD HANDS

COMPARISON DESTROYS PERSONALITY

CHANGE OR DIE

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ply

#textured yarn my beloathed

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Actually feeling fucking violent about “gaps in your resume” i’m sorry that i would literally rather do fucking anything than work and i’m sorry i don’t tailor my life to being as advertisable as possible to a company why don’t you kill yourself