stephaniedola

[stephaniedola]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST INFLUENTIAL ALBUM OF THE MODERN AGE

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[stephaniedola]

[stephaniedola]

ever since i was a little girl i've always wanted a hysterectomy

[stephaniedola]

unfortunately no eclipse photography can ever outdo the waffle house one from 2017

[stephaniedola]

Unmute !

[stephaniedola]

I had this idea for a looping animation in which a single dot has a pretty long loop, but the animation as a whole is much shorter. Because of the repetition this animation is only 1 second long!

[stephaniedola]

sometimes u will be the only person fagging it up. sometimes it'll be hard. but u gotta do it. u gotta show all the fags that fagging it up is the way. u must strive to fag it as much as possible. u have a limited time. fag it up and dyke it out

[stephaniedola]

I could NOT be in feudal Japan. Here are some reasons why

I wasn’t born then.

[stephaniedola]

there needs to be a gender neutral word for niece/nephew that a) doesnt make explicit reference to them being your siblings kid b) doesnt sound fucking stupid

[stephaniedola]

watching anime is literally the easiest thing ever and yet i even put that off

[stephaniedola]

why small kittens are always either the most pathetic or the most evil creature you've ever seen

[stephaniedola]

I hear the words "bichon frise" and my brain spends an uncountably long moment frantically overturning every memory I have, desperately trying to remember what foreign luxury car brand I have to pretend to care about in order for this conversation to go favorably. After my every mote of knowledge about cars has been thoroughly ransacked and I am on the verge of failing this social interaction, a smudged sticky note flutters into view that simply says "small white dog."

[stephaniedola]

#im emotional

[stephaniedola]

Had a 'fun' new experience today in the form of my first ever mammogram because I found a lump on my chest a few weeks ago, and when you find a lump, you get that shit checked out.

Ironically, the lump I went to get investigated turned out to be nothing, likely just a cyst that made its way to the surface, but they did find something else on the scan that requires me to do a follow-up ultrasound in six months. The doctor stressed that it is most likely a fibroid, but given my family history of breast cancer and general weird health fuckery, they're being vigilant and keeping an eye on it.

The mammogram itself was fine. The technician doing it kept complimenting me on the "pliable" nature of my breast tissue and how easy it was to smoosh me into the machine. I was like thanks, I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome; my body is basically made of only slightly more reinforced laffy taffy.

She said, "That explains that," and then proceeded to smush my tits into a pancake. Apparently, they were the most compliant tits she's worked with. I said thank you because what else can you do in that situation. And then she asked me if I wanted to know how much they weighed, and I said boy, do I?!

So she started reading off the results and was like, "17.7 lbs," and I was like, gosh, no wonder they feel so heavy, and then she kept talking and said, "And the other one weighs..."

And that's when I realized she didn't mean total.

She meant one boob was 17.7lbs.

So in case you've ever wanted to know, my right boob weighs 17.7 lbs, and my left one weighs 17.3 lbs, bringing the grand weight hanging off my chest to an even 35 lbs.

The tech was like "gosh! That's a lot for someone of your size!" and I was like "ya fucking think?!"

For a frame of reference, I weigh 136 lbs total. One-quarter of my weight is tits.

I am one-quarter titty.

And I'm telling that to the next doctor who suggests I lose weight.

Anyway. Remember to do regular breast exams, and don't be afraid of mammograms. Yes, they're checking for cancer, but they also tell you fun things like how much your chest weighs and whether or not your boobs are compliant.

#lots of US scales use kilos these days i feel like

[stephaniedola]

middle aged man tummy save me

#wheezing

[stephaniedola]

using wizard magic beneath the full moon to charge my blood oxygen and make my heart rate normal………..

[stephaniedola]

everybody d/lies.

prints + merch + dm for commission info

#house md