strayshornystuff

[strayshornystuff]

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

[strayshornystuff]

See through stuff is like, chefs kiss for me for sex and stuff. BUT, It can be a pain too though, when it is see through in a nonsexual context TwT like I want my partner to see me, sure, or vice versa, but I don't want people in the street to stare at me either.

With great power comes great responsibility, and with great kinks comes great awkwardness.

びしょ濡れいとこちゃん by 加瀬大輝 [Twitter/X] ※Illustration shared with permission from the artist. If you like this artwork please support the artist by visiting the source.

[strayshornystuff]

Ths was next on my feed lol

This is the story of how my friend Charlie ended up with a scar on his penis.

First, he was at a jazz club. Jazz clubs are not inherently dangerous. At the jazz club he saw a girl with pink hair wearing a top hat. Girls with pink hair who wear top hats are also not inherently dangerous. She was extremely cute so he approached her to flirt and she was into that.

She was so into it that she invited Charlie back to her home. Things became amorous and Charlie was delighted when things took a turn in a blowjobly direction. That is, until he felt teeth.

He looked down as she looked up and there was blood dripping down her chin. She was also laughing. Charlie, in a great deal of pain, bleeding from a part of himself that boys never expect to bleed from, pushed her away and rushed to the bathroom.

The girl was then horrified and extremely apologetic, and rushed to get him gauze and bandages. I suspect she might have had the same nervous reaction as the time I accidentally stabbed a boy. Charlie was in shock but reluctantly accepted her offerings before getting the fuck out of dodge.

For years we speculated about why she’d bitten him. Was she a vampire? Was she on drugs? It was part of Charlie’s Lore that he’d had his penis bitten and was understandably wary of mouths now.

We assumed we’d never have a resolution. Which is why we were all surprised one night to get a text from Charlie. There she was. At the same late night local burger chain. He could finally get the closure he’d always wanted.

The girl recognized him instantly and began to profusely apologize. She explained that she had since been diagnosed as schizophrenic and bipolar but at the time she’d been completely unmedicated. She had always felt wretched about what had happened that night and couldn’t apologize enough.

Charlie accepted her apology but declined her hesitant invitation to find a quieter venue to catch up. One scar was enough for him. We were all elated to finally have peace, and closure. The penis bite was made explicable and we were satisfied.

But that’s not all, Charlie told us. Were we ready for the punchline? We waited. The restaurant they’d met at again, years later. Didn’t we want to know which one? Where they could finally bury the hatchet over their penis misadventure?

Where??? Where was it?

“Dicks”, he told us.

[strayshornystuff]

An incident with… portals?

A knock on the door. It was those damn kids again, ding dong ditching again. During my episode with Mr. Slimey, who was safely stoppered in his little vial on my coffee table, with tape on the cork, those kids had decided to spray paint the door to my apartment, the brats. I’d never even seen them in person, but I heard them as they bolted off, laughing. I slowly walked to the door, hoping to catch them out by standing right next to the door. *Knock knock* “GOTCHa oh hi sorry are you okay?” Instead of a small child I saw the delivery man, jumping at my exclamation and falling on his arse, looking up with blood-filled cheeks. I quickly reached out to help him up, but before I could even apologise properly, he just looked at me sympathetically and said, “Those kids again?”

“Yeah,” I respond, “If you’ve seen my door, that was them.”

“Far out-” he vaguely gestured at the door “-they’re pretty good at drawing dicks for random kids…”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, any case this is for you!” He scooped up the package that had fallen on the ground, and placed it in my arms. “Hope you can get someone for the door soon!”

“Thanks!” I call after him, and then I turn back in to my apartment.

I gently put the box down on the table, grab my kitchen shears, and look carefully at the cardboard cube in front of me. It was larger than the one the silver little devil had come in, but looked the same in every other way. I figured that I ought to get the matter over with, and so the tape was sliced, and the flaps opened. Inside were two plastic circles, each with a sticky, glue on the back, like on wall hooks. And on both of them, on the non-sticky side, were glowing holes, one with a blue glow, and the other with an orange glow. Except something didn’t look quite right…

I took each of the circles out of the box, and placed one on the table, while I kept the other in my hand. And when I looked through the table portal, I could see myself from where the other one was. I looked back and forth, mesmerised by the fact that I had legitimate portals, in my hands. While looking back and forth, I noticed a piece of paper in the box, with a couple of short lines of text on it. Curious for its message, I snatch up the paper, and read.

Congratulations! You have received our newly made portal product from our sci-fi toy line as part of your subscription! The portals have a range of about 200 km of perfect, seamless connection, and will not generate any undesired effects, such as collapse, cancer, or other crippling conundrums, no matter what you stick in the hole, or how long you do so. To change the size, flick the lock switch, place your hands on the portal walls, or the walls of the circle, and squeeze/pull to desired size! The rest is up to you to find out! Not responsible for any damage or harm caused through great misuse. To cancel your subscription at any time, message our customer service number at 04XX XXX XXX

I could hardly believe it. They had censored their customer service number, in a box that contained a wormhole. Even if it was stable, I needed to know who was sending me these. And secondly, this was considered a toy? Does that make Mr. Slippery slimey aphrodisiac mercury over there… a toy as well? And the word ‘line’… was there more of these toys? It was too much to wrap my head around, I couldn’t. I slumped down on the couch, and drifted off to sleep, my head spinning from everything…

…zzz…

I felt so good… someone was eating me out from behind, and they were good… I felt so fuzzy… I felt obligated to stimulate them, but there was already an ass in my face, I was already going to town on them… oh my… what was that glow on their skin? I tore away for a moment, looking up… and was greeted by the back of my own head raising at the same time, in front of me, as the pleasure paused for me, for them, for me again…

By the time I woke up, it was already… 1930? I’d slept through most of the afternoon, it seemed. I sat up, and immediately my eyes fell on the portals again. I blushed, thinking of the dream I’d just had. I placed one hand over my crotch, feeling overexposed, and recoiled when I felt myself completely soaked. My heart was fluttery, I was this wet, and the portals were just there… my hallway was about the right width… “should I?” Was the question I asked myself, only realising that it had been said aloud after the fact. I mustered up the courage, and grabbing the portals, moved over to my hallway. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom along the way, as well as a dildo (the one normal toy I seemed to own), and placed it under my feet once I was where I would do this.

Slowly, I stripped, peeling off my soaked pants, lifting off my hoodie, until I stood there naked, the air frigid against my lustful skin. I picked up the portals, sticking them on the walls, and pushing my hands against the walls of the portal, stretching it until I could have probably crawled through without much resistance, before finally locking their size. I took a deep breath. One small step, pull the other leg through, and my butt was snugly through the portal behind me, poking cutely through the wall in front atop my legs. Bracing myself with my hips against the portal walls, I leaned forward and buried my face into myself. Simultaneously, I let out a small yelp as I felt the same face touch my own butt, warm and soft. I looked up for a moment, before complimenting the me in front.

“Such a cute butt… be good for me…” my voice stretching forward, as the sound reached me from behind, sending a shiver down my eager body.

I took another deep breathe, and started gently licking, lubing myself up for later. It was a struggle to consistently hit the areas that made me feel good, but by the time my tongue had slipped inside of me, I had gotten pretty good at forcing sighs out of myself between dives. I kept going, harder, faster, wetter, more, ohh, ahh, AH! My legs trembled as I came, fluids leaking out of me, my brain only knowing pleasure and the command to keep going that the dopamine rush demanded. That was the first, soon it happened again, and a third time, my brain slowly melting, diving in, forgetting to breathe.

I was wet enough now for the dildo. I reached down, picking up its length, and gently started rubbing its tip against my hole. I had played with myself before, but for some reason, the sensation was just that much stronger. Maybe my brain couldn’t understand it was my own doing to myself. I could barely muster the courage to penetrate myself, but once I did, it slipped in with no resistance at all, sliding deeper, until it was up in my guts. I moaned as the wave of pleasure swept over me, engulfing my thoughts and forcing them all down toward my dripping, needy hole. Before I knew it, the toy was sliding in and out of me, my body moving automatically, understanding its task. For hours, I stayed like that, fucking myself over, and over, harder and deeper, until eventually, my memory faded into a fuzzy mess…

I woke up slumped over the portal edge, with the towel underneath me soaked and my legs dead. I reached for my phone, and saw that about a couple of hours had passed since I had started. How long I had been passed out exactly, I couldn’t tell, just knowing that I had fucked myself unconscious, and might be doing so in the future~

Hello reader! I randomly remembered that portals have some uses, and decided I might write this short story to think of how it might play out. Though, I think portals are best used when there are more people involved than just me… oh well. Hope you enjoyed reading, let me know any ideas of yours, or critique for what I might do better, and see y’all next time! :3

#me please #queer nsft #bi nsft #bi ns/fw #subby thoughts #subby bunny #I really need to come up with more tags #genderfluid nsft #enby nsft #enby ns/fw #Portals kink

[strayshornystuff]

Getting home, curling up in their lap, letting them do as they like with me. I'm a good puppy.

Calling me their good girl or their good boy, whichever they want, as I support them from under their desk, use my mouth to keep their dick warm, wet, ready for after they've done their important thinking. Not that I would know much about that, good puppies don't think, they just listen to their master. I'm a good puppy.

[strayshornystuff]

Jazz and Sabine

Part One (current) || Part Two

Part 1 | Part 2

Please enjoy this cute sapphic comic about accidentally adopting a werewolf from the pound based on this post. (Except I made it gay.) Meet Sabine and Jazz as they fall in loooove.

If you enjoyed please consider tipping to my Kofi! Comics are a labor of love and tips really really help me out while I'm in school!

Check out my pinned post for other comics!

[strayshornystuff]

Jazz and Sabine

Part One || Part Two (current)

Part 1 | Part 2

Please enjoy this cute sapphic comic about accidentally adopting a werewolf from the pound based on this post. (Except I made it gay.) Meet Sabine and Jazz as they fall in loooove.

If you enjoyed please consider tipping to my Kofi! Comics are a labor of love and tips really really help me out while I'm in school!

Check out my pinned post for other comics!

[strayshornystuff]

So there's this pokemon called Hoopa, who can make portals? Heck, even looking past the pokemon, portals... And like, I've got an idea...

Portal fleshlight.

Using portals to steal my ass (and only my ass) and let others use it while I'm just stuck on the other ends of the portals.

Hmm...

#me please #subby thoughts #bi nsft #queer nsft

[strayshornystuff]

These are the questions that keep me up at night...

[strayshornystuff]

i like to think about different types of subs differently

puppy sub, i’m eager to please and i’ll present and show off like a good boy for you, taking whatever you wanna give me <3

bunny sub, i wanna make “breed like rabbits” apply to me and i’m definitely bouncing on something~

kitty sub, i’m gonna act like i don't want your attention, but the longer you respect that the more showy i’ll get :3

[strayshornystuff]

The idea of just being used for the rest of my life as some sort of sex thing gets me so turned on until I remember I have family, responsibilities, things I want to see places I want to go and all that…

Maybe you can treat me like your plaything for like, 2 nights and 1 day, and then we can do the same thing next month? I’m a worthless toy, only good for pleasuring you, and incapable of doing anything else but pleasuring my master… until I have to get back to work, k? Cool let’s get started :3

#me please #queer nsft #bi nsft #bi ns/fw #bd/sm kink #subby thoughts #puppy sub #use me pls #use my throat #use me however you want

[strayshornystuff]

So like, all those lewds of characters in swimsuits? Or other tight fitting apparel? Look, they are alright, but artists need to realise…

If it is tight, it is not going to have the slack to highlight the depth of a belly button, or highlight the small valley made by the curvature of a pussy and the base of the ass. Or fit in between those cheeks, no matter how thick they are. As much as it’s sexy, it’s the little details that make the difference for me.

Is that just me? Probs. This isn’t a call for artists to change their style, more just a “huh” moment I had and am now talking about.

[strayshornystuff]

I am looking for supporters  Those who are interested are kindly thank you!!  Thank you for following me! 

[strayshornystuff]

...

...anime...

悲しき過去 by きょうさる@kyouen2

#Anime breaks physics #And biology

[strayshornystuff]

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human and Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon may be coined as the most compatible with humans, but there are several options? I mean, Incineroar, Lopunny, Gardevior, heck there’s even Mr Mime for the freaky ones (not kinkshaming, take it as a sign of respect). But then, if you actually read the essay about Vaporeon, it does have a point. I mean, better than Sentret or Nosepass or Combee…

I mean, Pokémon are something else, but like, what are y’all’s opinion? I’m just of the mind that, as long as it’s stage 2 evolved or more, then fine, but stage 1s are usually the equivalent of an under-7-year-old kid. Further, they have to be able to consent, so if I write Pokémon, they are going to sound like 20 year olds at least.

At the end of the day, it is night, shit be crazy, and some Pokémon are just fuckable.

#Pokémon nsft #bi nsft #queer nsft #furry #furry nsft #nsft furry

[strayshornystuff]

The Seventh Score

Part One || Part 2 (current)

The Seventh Score: Part 1 || Part 2

Rival thieves compete to steal scores before the other can get to it- but the real score is the love they find along the way!

I hope you enjoyed reading! If this made you smile please consider tipping over at my Ko-fi! Tips really help me out, and comics are a huge labor or love.

You can find a directory of my other queer comics here, but don't forget to reblog this one!

[strayshornystuff]

This is interesting. I’ve not much else to say, that’s a good story, with the right amount of humour and realism.

Working at the sex shop really did rewire my brain. There was basically no topic that was too taboo to talk about, and what little propriety I’d had evaporated. I’d be out walking and chatting with friends about erotica I’d had to read that day only to be shushed and realize people were staring at me.

It always struck me as a little bit silly but I learned to curb myself for others comfort levels. Mostly.

But I have one distinct memory of decorating holiday cookies with my parents and my grandmother. My mom had worked in a sex shop back in her day, and I never hid my line of work from my family, so I was telling a work story.

I was conscious that my dad was slightly more sensitive, so I was using pretty broad descriptions, but I happened to mention silicone lube (I was telling my horror story) and my nana asked, “What’s that?”

I went into full sales mode. Focused on the little reindeer cookie I was decorating I started info dumping, “Oh, it’s pretty great. Water based lubricants get absorbed through vaginal mucous membranes, but silicone is too dense and our body can’t absorb it the same way. So once you apply some silicone you never have to worry about chafing, and a little goes a long way. It’s especially popular with older women, because they start producing less natural lubricant and absorb water based lubes so quickly.”

There was a silent beat after this statement.

I looked up.

My mom and grandmother were looking at me with rapt attention, and I belatedly realized I was addressing two older women who probably would welcome extra lubrication.

And then there was my dad, blushing so pink with embarrassment that I thought he was about to faint.

“I can talk about something else,” I offered in apology to my dad.

“Like hell! He can go in the other room, tell me more!” My nana declared. My dad scampered off to busy himself in another room while I answered their questions and talked about brands and pricing.

I slipped them each a small bottle of silicone lube for the holidays.