survivorwakea

[survivorwakea]

Episode 14: “YEEHAW!” - Elmo

im so flop w these orgs but I AM SO HAPPY THAT I AM IN THE F5!! JARED LEFT HE LEFT! HES GONE! IM IN THE FINAL 5 WOOOOOO I MIGHT BE FLOPPING WITH MY MOVES BUT I AM JUST SO HAPPY THAT IM HERE WAAAA

Jared...that sucked. I hope we are still good friends after this. I never wanted it to go down like that but I wouldn’t stand a chance against you at a final after everything that has happened this game. I truly enjoyed getting to know you and hope that you love stranger things. I have some hot memes saved for it. At least if you don’t like the show maybe you will appreciate the memes. Anyway... now we got a challenge that I have like a .00002% chance of winning because I work 10-6 tomorrow. I considered staying up but I can’t. I’m gonna do it as long as I can tonight but I don’t think it’s gonna matter. My plan is if elmo wins vote Bodhi. If Bodhi wins vote Elmo. If neither of them wins then...this vote will be something mighty interesting.

ive been so bad with confessionals so i want to do a proper one for once. It's day 36. I still have my idol and my closest ally, Chloe won immunity. Which means that we are both going to final 4 bitches  YEEHAW! I couldn't be happier that we have both pulled this off. There's only so little left and I'm so proud of coming all this way because comin into this season I really had no expectations of myself but I genuinely think that I have a chance of winning and that is just not a feeling I get every day.

This vote could go two ways. The more likely way is to vote out Bodhi. Bodhi/Asya are inseparable duo since forever and votin bodhi would be very smart. Other option is Lily. I feel like Lily hasn't played as well as Bodhi has (aka I think I have a shot against her in the FTC) but I feel like shes defo better in challenges. I am not sure what route is the best but I am leaning towards votin Bodhi out. I know that I can beat Lily in FIC and hopefully then get her out. My dream f3 for a while now has been Asya and Chloe and its fairly close to come into fruition.

I just hope I can pull of these last challenge wins. I have zero (0) individual immunities so now would be a very good time to get a win on my record. I hope that I don't choke this end game ajsoidfjasf. I also hope that I am not being delusional about my chances,,, worst case scenario would be jury hating on me. I don't think that is the case but I really cannot know for sure yanno? I am not there and hopefully wont be!!!

https://imgur.com/a/4SUfgSs

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Bodhi is voted out 3-2. He becomes the eighth member of the jury.

Well. I did it. I made a move. It was risky and the jury may not agree but I had to do it. I would have lost this game for sure if I didn’t save elmo for another round and vote Bodhi out. Bodhi mad respect for you and absolutely love how you take things seriously but also don’t??? It was really great getting to talk with you again. Anabel is a beautiful singer but I think you were the true winner of the talent show. No matter what happens, if I’m the next jury member, get 3rd, 2nd, or somehow win the thing, I’m happy. I met some awesome people and played differently than I have before. Hoping I can win this next challenge. If elmo wins, it’s no good but I think I can make it to F3. If elmo doesn’t win, hopefully all the girls can come together and get him out.

Voting Bodhi tonight because I'm not letting ANYONE drag me anywhere, not even to 4th place xx

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The fact that I've made it to F4 and get to do ROP really makes me happy, I never thought I'd be at this point in the game holy shit

fuck simon says. If any game I play in the future includes this game I will quit on the spot. Screenshot after each round????? Ummmmmmm. no. hard pass.

I'm almost certain Elmo will win, I knew it from when I saw he was in the cast. Even if I somehow end up sitting beside him at FTC, he's going to get the votes over me. I feel so defeated. Hell even if I make FTC and he doesn't, I'll probably still lose. I feel like such a bad player and person. This game has ruined me totally. I don't feel like I have much fight left to give but I'm trying so hard to pretend to everyone else I have the most fight left in me. Elmo deserves the win though.

me, having the attention span for this challenge? its less likely than u think

im like frustrated bc i wanna win so bad like i feel like i need this win not to get me to the end but to VALIDATE me bc ive worked so hard and stressed so much to get here and even if the jury tears me apart i want to be able to say that i Did something even if the something was just this.

fuck pitbull

Honestly...1. The first question on this form being, who am I? Is a loaded question, I don’t know???? Some weird a** chick who plays online games of survivor and just wants an unplanned all female FTC.  I’m too gosh darn emotional for this. What is wrong with me? 2. I’m a mess (this is really just a continuing of the first point)! First I freak out during the counting challenge cause I messed it up the first time and then I couldn’t get it together cause I’m a damn mess. Then I write diol instead of idol on my #102 in the endurance challenge. I hate pit bull. F*** puzzles and I don’t know if 23 selfies is a lot or nothing at all? Im driving myself bonkers. I called in sick today. I ate a big a** chocolate chip cookie and I still want the peanut butter bar that I was trying to save for later. F***. I shouldn’t be given three days to do anything. It’s too much time! Never thought I’d say this but TOO MUCH TIME. I’m losing my s***

https://youtu.be/tp-ZZAq5BV8

I'm just here to be sad. I can't win and I've known that, I've said all along Elmo my main competition I need to get rid of him. But I love him too much. I'm scared. I don't wanna make it to FTC and be dragged to hell and back by the jury, while Elmo sits there and gets praise. I'm so scared they're all gonna hate me. Like can Elmo just win without me being dragged please. It feels like I've put so much into this game surviving every tribal so far and being immune once, where I put in everything I had to make sure I won and it could literally all be for nothing. I could somehow make FTC and the jury just turns on me. It's kinda my biggest fear. I don't even know what I'm saying right now, I'm tired and scared. I just want this to be over with.

I’m honestly just so glad that is over. That was the hardest challenge I’ve had to do in my time. Congrats to us all for doing that damn. Chloe, Asya, and Elmo it has been a pleasure.

so. i didn’t win final immunity, which. duh.

i was really hoping to see chloe win, but of course, elmo won instead which means as far as i’m concerned, the winner of this game is already decided. i can’t lie and say i’m not mad at lily about this. she got too cocky and thought elmo wouldn’t win FIC when she took out bodhi.

chloe and i agreed to vote for her tonight, which i assume means elmo is also voting for her, even though he won’t say. not like there’s any reason to hide your vote at Final Fuckin Four but okay elmo.

the circle of life gets completed tonight. jared kills johnny, bodhi kills jared, lily kills bodhi, i kill lily, and then the jury kills me. it’s gonna be a fun time.

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Lily is voted out 3-1. She becomes the final member of the jury.

FTC in 15.... and i genuinely feel sick

as i wrote notes for myself, i started to realize that i’ve been... very hard on myself in this game. this isn’t the best game i’ve played. it wasn’t flashy, i definitely don’t have anything close to a winners edit and yes, i’m probably still getting 3rd but.

i did what i had to do. i just wanted to make it to the end and i did. i put my emotions in the back seat and made the moves that would secure me a place in the final 3. my opinion is probably gonna 180 after the jury tears me to pieces but for now i listen to 80’s music and try to tell myself i’m not gonna cry

time to get roasted by the jury

[survivorwakea]

Episode 13: “there’s no point in getting to the end if you have nothing to say for yourself.” - Asya

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/right-after-johnny-blintzide/s-V4vHH

Well. Well. Well. Jared is def the biggest liar in the books. I should have known from touchy subjects that I shouldn’t have put so much trust in him. I’m so so so sorry Johnny, I know how bad you wanted a chance. Don’t worry if I can make anything happen, Jared will be gone ASAP. I don’t do people who lie straight to my face. The first time I could deal with. Taking out one of my F3, nope. You gone. I’m gonna have to attempt to play nice but so far it’s not going well. I’m also gonna have to continue to work with Bodhi. Love that kid but damn he will beat me in the end I’m sure of it. Trying to figure out who I want to go to the end with no because everything is all mixed up in my brain. When you go from thinking you have an awesome F3, to feeling like what’s the point? This game for me has been a lot of learning. I’ve been a flop tbh but have still been able to keep up with the social aspects of my game. That is really all I can count on now. I might just be starting my strategic game play but better late than never.

so. johnny’s gone. i feel really bad about it but. idk

yesterday i told elmo that it was probably him because at the time, i believed that to be true. i also told chloe. the only thing i lies about was when chloe asked if i would tell her if i was voting for her. i said yes but that wasn’t true. i think she thinks i was one of the votes for elmo, and that’s what i’ll let her think. if she asks i’ll probably lie and say that johnny voted for her.

anyways. jared came up to me and basically said “i can get johnny out. you don’t have to vote him, i just want you to give me the green light” and so i said yes. at this point i guess i just feel like nothing i do will get me a win at this point. i’m not super happy with my strategic game, i know bodhi and jared have both beaten me there. i have my one (1) immunity win. i’ve tried to be social and send people off in a way that doesn’t make them hate me but. i feel like i failed.

i’m also on vacation which helps me none. all i can do at this point is go hard as hell in immunity and maybe secure myself in finally five. the one thing i’m still sure about is that elmo has to go. im not dancing around this shit anymore like i refuse. if he wins immunity im probably gonna snap at jared so. better hope that doesn’t happen !

this was a lot and was more a unsteady stream of consciousness rather than a confessional but there we are

I won a card stacking challenge? I support that. Really proud of myself but also trying to make sure it doesn’t go to my head. I’d really like to make it to the end of the game even tho I flopped hard this game. So it’s nice knowing that I def have the option to vote Jared out right now. And that’s where I’m leaning. I’m trying to make sure I don’t just make this decision because I’m upset but that I think it through. I think the biggest issue with Jared is that he will totally go on an immunity run especially knowing how rocky his game is now. I think he has the best chance of winning at this point as well voting correctly for every merge vote. I wish it didn’t happen this way but Jared decided to make some dumb moves without talking to me about it so I guess it has to go down this way. This is what I’m hoping goes down. Jared is out on this vote. I get chloe and Elmo to vote for Bodhi on the next vote. Then going into F3 asya and I vote elmo out and maybe Chloe would vote that way as well that way no one has to compete for the last spot. We will see. I think it would be cool to have an all ladies F3 and it sorta just happening in an organic way not forced. I’m really happy with how this game went. Had a lot of my fun and made some awesome friends as well as connecting with some old friends. Let’s just hope the rest of this works out how it needs to.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/right-before-kill-jared/s-i8zfO we killed jared

i haven’t had a lot of time to confess i’m SORRY but. god. okay. so i think i’m voting out jared. like, this isn’t what i wanted at the start. i genuinely just wanted to get to the end with my friends but that’s just because i go into games with the mindset that i’m probably gonna do poorly. i’m not extremely proud of the game i’ve played only because i’ve made a lot of moves that didn’t make me personally happy. they Did however, advance my game in one way or another. now i’m looking and ftc is SO well within my reach, but i’ve always said there’s no point in getting to the end if you have nothing to say for yourself.

and i KNOW jared would kill me to advance himself in a game, EXCEPT we made a f2 of sorts and. i don’t know. i’m usually all about honoring those things, but i feel like i’ve now already committed to the idea

i just can’t cope w the idea of people hating me hahahaha this is fun i’m having a blast

God this vote is ruining my life. I am so fucking worried that Elmo is going to go home and I really really don't want that to happen. Bodhi told me he wants to vote out Elmo and I basically told him I wasn't going to do that. A while later he tells me he wants to vote Jared. I mean sure, we was gonna do that next round. But if Elmo lives and then Jared goes, I'm more than okay with that. I'm hoping that Bodhi is keeping his word and is planning on voting Jared and this isn't just some weird plan. But I feel at this point no one has anything to hide anymore, no point in lying. Jared did approach me basically saying he was going to vote me out, but he had a deal to make with me. Naturally I am intrigued. He told me if I vote out Elmo this round he will vote with me next round. Obviously he will then vote me out at F4. No thank you. He said he would take it to firemaking, which is just dumb. I'd likely still be out. Everyone knows that's why I'm being taken to F4 because I am the worst in immunity challenges. But I'm not going to throw away my friendship with him to possibly survive another 2 votes at most if I'm lucky. Friendships mean more to me than winning.

ALTHOUGH WE'VE COME TO THE END OF THE ROAD STILL I CAN'T LET GO OH CELESTIAL YOU'RE SO SEXY (in reference to Celestial as a game) PLEASE LILY DON'T VOTE ME OUT EVEN THOUGH IT IS THE BEST MOVE FOR YOUR GAME PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE

I keep trying to like sing it to the tune of the song but I'm running out of material.

Anyways, I think I've run out of rope on my mist. Mayyyybeeee voting Johnny was a mistake, but it was literally only in the case that Lily won immunity. I should've told her about last vote even if it meant he played an idol. I have been running around doing absolutely all that I can but my bullshit is no longer WORKING.

If I make it through this, I'll have a reason to vote out Lily. I just need Asya and Bodhi to go to rocks for me which is... asking a lot to say the least. Shaka, I'm out.

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Jared is voted out 4-2. He becomes the seventh member of our jury.

#sailaway #episode

[survivorwakea]

Episode 12: “not bad for a girl with no talent.” - Asya

Did I wait until F8 to start playing this game? Yes. Yes. Pretty much. Did it at least work out how it was supposed to? Yes. So Bodhi hasn’t stabbed me in the back yet, so that’s good! I’m thinking this 5 should be strong (me Jared Johnny asya and Bodhi). After that as long as asya or Bodhi don’t get immunity it would be nice to have my F3 make it to the end. But you never know with this game. I would love to make it to the end but at least I made it to my lucky number 7. Zack, I wish we would have talked more because I’m sure we would get along great. I just knew at this point there was zero chance of me and you making a move together. Virgo icon!

Tonight I found out Elmo had one of the premerge idols. He then also told me he re found the merge idol. Ahaha yay good times all round other than the fact Zack got voted out I guess. And the fact Elmo had told Zack but not me - kind of a blow. Then finding out Zack and Elmo had an f2 together. Yea I’m starting to see where I fit into this. I’d be less hurt if this didn’t validate how I feel there’s always someone liked more than me. It’d hurt less if I wasn’t able to relate this to a situation with 2 of my irl friends. It feels like this kinda thing just keeps happening to me over and over. I have friends and people tolerate me maybe but I’m never the first person they go to, I’m never a first choice. I’m always the one that’s the third, that could be there or not and the others would still thrive. I’m the one that no one really thinks much of. It kinda kills me a little bit. Usually orgs have helped me escape this kinda shit feeling, right now it’s amplified it. I wish for once I wasn’t the one left out, either in an org or irl.

________________________________________________________________ Elmo - Honestly, get fucked.

me? getting second in a spelling comp? not bad for a girl with no talent

so in other news,,,,, i don’t know. i’ve like openly discussed this with people but i don’t see myself winning this game in absolutely any scenario. the only person on the jury who i know i could get a vote from is joey. “well asya, if you don’t think the current jury members would vote for you, put some people on the jury who you think would!” thank you for your input, voice inside my head! as it turns out, i just don’t think that would work !

if i somehow somehow got together the numbers to vote out someone in my alliance, i really think that would just solidify me leaving before and if i have to choose between getting like, 6th AGAIN or getting to ftc and losing,,,, yeah. and it’s not like my friends would vote for me just because they’re my friends. like i just know they wouldn’t, because i wouldn’t either. like i said, i just don’t see a scenario in which i’m racking up jury votes. it sucks, but such is life.

as it is, elmo is getting the boot tonight, probably. we’re splitting votes 3-2-2 with the intention of getting elmo out but if he has an idol then it ties between chloe and whoever those two decide to vote, and we have majority in the revote woo.

but like, they’ve wiggled their way out of shit before. i could see them bringing johnny on for some secret plan to kill bodhi. i think i’ll talk to jared about it later but for now i’m on the beach so bye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCC9etiFS68&feature=youtu.be

Tonight I'm putting every ounce of trust I have into Jared. I hope he has been honest and is genuinely voting Johnny. I hope Elmo is the one to get the 3 votes and not me and that the idol he uses tonight 1. Doesn't go to waste, 2. Keeps both of us safe and send Johnny home. I'm hoping with everything I have right now that I don't go home. I've fought so hard and I can almost see the end of this game.

Trust List 5.0

1. Asya 2. Bodhi 3. Lily 4. Johnny 5. Elmo 6. Chloe

um so plot twist johnny’s going???? we love last minute decisions god ok i’ll explain later

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/weekafteranabel/s-T0uMA

well, i know this is a retrospective confessional but i truly see a path to the end for me right now, its not usual that i feel this way. I think this game has just been such a journey and two sided but me still being here just amazes me. I really hope that I can get to the end and hopefully even win. hehe <3

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Johnny is voted out 3-2-2. He becomes the sixth member of our jury.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode 11: “Can we bounce back? Probs not tbh.” - Lily

Well I might as well be voted out now. Ain’t nobody want me to win and I’m playing a fool’s game. Asya shout out to you tho queen, love you icon. I honestly don’t care who goes at this point I’d rather make it one more round so I can at least get 7th. Whoever said I was being dragged, tbh you ain’t wrong. Can we bounce back? Probs not tbh.

so... things r quiet once again. I think ive landed myself in the minority once again! I believe that i could be targeted but the bad thing is that im v busy tomorrow and needto wake up early so i cant attend tribal... its currently 11:25 pm, im probably sleeping in like few minutes and then wake up at 4 am just to vote but we'll see.

i dont want to get 8th. its such an ugly placement pls pls pls not

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i am worried. i can sense a blindside coming. i am not sure if its coming to me or my allies but this is way too good to be true... im def considering playing my idol this round. either i am successful or then i look like a clown and waste my idol at f8 like zachary <3

shout out .

Yeehaw I've heard I'm the target again. Do these people know that an easier way to talk me down would be to get rid of my allies first? because they've not really attempted that it mostly feels like they've gone quite hard for me. Watch me get a vote at every tribal council until FTC and then not get a single vote again

another round copy/pasting what i threw in my host chat LMAO

okay so basically jared and i are playing the other side really hard to get them to think that the vote is on chloe, but that really jared lily and i wanna vote for bodhi and then jared is getting them to "lie to me" and vote for lily so im pretty sure they're going to be voting for lily thinking jared is voting with them and that lily and i are voting for bodhi when in all actuality me lily bodhi asya jared are voting for zack and PRAYING we can blindside the fuck out of him with the idol in his pocket bc they've gotta have 2 there's two that have been in play at one point or another that are unaccounted for and jared and bodhi STILL think anabel was the leak during the split vote round, when it was me, so im going to have that to claim above anything else at FTC so we'll see what happens this round im feeling kinda confident that we can finally get out zack, but it's going to be pretty tough because those three are smart and i dont think they believe a damn word any of us say, but jared and i have been talking to all of them throughout the entire merge, so I do feel like we've got a decent shot at playing this off well post tribal I kinda wanna just start winning challenges and using those to make power moves i do think the ONLY THING that comes away from this is that if zack goes home this round, and I hammer hard that I want to vote for bodhi this round, and don't, it's going to be hard to convince them that i genuinely want to vote for bodhi next round bc i feel they won't believe me but we'll see because if zack does go here, i really do want bodhi to go out next, but it's just a really tough field to play right now because there's so much lying and im trying to keep up with all of my lies, JUST to finally take out someone from that side successfully that i deem the biggest threat to win and then there's my relationship with elmo that i feel is going to help me legitimately get to the end of the game here, and if those three actually do end up voting for lily, then I feel we'll both be apologizing to each other post tribal, BUT I'm curious when Elmo wakes up if he's going to tell me that those guys are voting for lily and they're trying to keep me out of it, because if he does, that's going to show me a lot about elmo and my true relationship, and if he keeps me out of the loop on that and lies to me again, then im not going to feel super compelled to save him again in the future like i feel i did this round

Trust List 4.0:

1. Asya 2. Bodhi 3. Lily 4. Johnny 5. Chloe 6. Elmo 7. Zack

Today has been one of the most intense rounds, between playing damage control on Lily and Johnny, and playing a full defensive blindside on Zack.

Convinced Asya and Bodhi to be okay with Zack being the target instead of Elmo. Created multiple fake narratives for the minority to bite on. I CAN FEEL THE MIST IN MY VEINS! Ya. I also got to the end of the idol bridge but it was already found.

Right now I would feel comfortable going to the end with Asya and Bodhi or Lily. That's the goal.

95% sure Zack is going home this round. 5% sure of it being a Bodhi blindside.

Peace out! ✌

me: it’s my birthday and i’m on the road for 7 hours so i may not be here much chloe: answer my pms or i’m reaching for the arsenic

honestly will this game ever stop having crackhead energy? everyday it's another crackhead going crazy.. a day off would be LOVELY to vacation away from these crackheads. (ff to me getting the boot tonight and vacationing on ponderosa.) but lets talk bout last round real quick.... i took a huge ass risk not using my idol when i knew i was getting votes. i just had to take a risk and pray for the best and thats what i did and my gut was right. do i take another risk tonight? i guess we'll wait and see. everything this round is all over the place, but what else is new? lemme try and sum it up for you but i KNOW this is gonna come out confusing as fuck.

jared-  he wants to do lily but he also said he'll do bodhi. do i think he'll do bodhi? no because i think they're really close. so i told him i would prefer to do lily just so he doesn't go and tell bodhi i want him out. but i would much rather do bodhi.

johnny- wants to do bodhi but thinks me elmo and chloe wanna do lily but we don't. also had no idea lily was even on the chopping block till i told him. but i trust telling him i wanna do bodhi.

asya- told chloe she's getting votes but doesn't think she's going home and thinks people are gonna vote for elmo.

me chloe and elmo- wanna vote out bodhi but telling jared we'll do lily but telling johnny we'll do bodhi and hoping none of it comes around to either of them that we're being snakes.

get my drift? do you understand? because i don't.

my plan is this... telling jared that i'm willing to vote out lily so i'm not the one coming off as wanting to be the one to vote out bodhi because i know they're close and i don't want tp get targeted this round because i want bodhi gone because i think jared will just tell bodhi i said his name. like they're kinda looking for someone to vote out right now so hopefully they'll go after elmo if he says bodhi and not me. everything seems ot be all over the place, lies are starting to get spilled... do i use my idol tonight JUST to make sure i'm safe because this vote can go literally anywhere? i'm gonna have you sit and wait...

and if i don't use my idol tonight and i wind up leaving.. i just wanna apologize for all the spelling mistakes i've made in all my confessionals. and i'm sorry if i'm still here next week and the spelling mistakes continue.

________________________________________________________________

i could also be totally wrong about EVERYTHING and might totally be overthinking everything as usual.. but like i've said in previous confessionals.. this whole game has been built on nothing but lies. it seems like jury management doesn't exist and we all just wanna lie to each other and stab each other in the back for fun. lying is a hobby in celestial. we lie for fun in celestial. backstabbing in celestial for no reason? sign me up! jury management doesn't exist in this game.. everyone is just out for blood in malicious ways and we all have no problem lying straight to each other's faces. it's so cracked and it's so hard to figure out whats the truth and this has been the most stressful game i have ever played. but don't get it wrong.. i'm here to fight and i'm here to put that knife in your back and lie straight to your face every single round.

It feels as though this has a bigger chance to go wrong than I let on in my first confessional, so I just want it to be on the record that I am indeed uneasy at 8:46 PM EST on Day 28.

just want on the record that i am uneasy about this vote

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Zack is voted out 5-3. He becomes the fifth member of the jury.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode 10: “I CAN FEEL THE MIST IN MY VEINS.” - Jared

im so stupid LMAO i literally had 170 which is a pretty nice score, but then i decided to FUCK IT UP by typing ‘ instead of 1 and so now im fucked and im prolly gonna go home and im just. im rly upset.

me rn: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

so

these people like. really flopped in immunity jahsksjsjwn. like i did too but i won so ! ig slow and steady really does win the race.

anyways. jared wants to vote anabel this round, blindsiding johnny. i told him i don’t think it’s smart yet because we can’t have johnny going to the other side just yet. we first need to make sure there’s no other side for him to run to. luckily bodhi and lily also weren’t down so it’s likely that zack is the vote tonight

chloe... idk. i tried to pitch up our relationship, i clued her in on the vote last round. or. at least i told her that i was voting for ben and i was pretty sure he was going home, which was true. i didn’t tell her about the split but like she didn’t even tell me who she was voting for so like. not to sound like a cocky asshole but i? don’t really benefit from trying to repair our relationship so i don’t see why i’m putting in all the work. i tell her the plan, somewhat, and she doesn’t offer and counter votes, doesn’t make suggestions, nothing. she just says “oh i just don’t wanna be put in a bad spot” like girl we’re way past that. right now, i’m in a better position than her, so it really doesn’t make sense that she’s not even making an attempt. idk that whole paragraph makes me sound like a massive bitch but that’s just how i’m feeling rn. anyways i’m happy i won smth. Woo

Well I may have said that it will be another messy one but I’m hoping it’s not. Jared told me that someone leaked everything from the last vote because when he was talking to Elmo, elmo accidentally told him that they knew. Not feeling so great about that but hoping it’s in everyone’s best interest to get Zach out. I just got to 101 successfully on the board but Johnny and I are doing it so quick I’m worried that someone may have already gotten there. Hoping this isn’t the case and possibly by tomorrow morning I could have it. Or tomorrow evening Johnny could have it. Obviously I would feel good if Johnny got it and I know he has it but I’d much rather have it in my possession just in case. It doesn’t help that I’m out of town this weekend but hoping everyone still keeps me in the loop and that I can compete in tomorrow’s challenge.  

SO MUCH SHIT HAS HAPPENED I LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHERE TO START. last round was a complete MESS! i know the original vote for the other side was to split between me and ben. but then it got switched to chloe and ben. the only reason why i picked chloe over ben is because i felt bad for chloe because she was so emotional and i think she would be a bigger target in front of me then ben since she’s been to every tribal ever and has been safe all the time. people will just think her social game or whatever is fire and not wanna bring her to the end. as for this vote. i don’t really have a choice. i have to just do whatever is gonna keep me safe because i’m clearly in the minority. i know anabel and johnny are a tight ass pair and i think people are starting to see that as well, so hopefully i can use that to my advantage. now, if it wasn’t for johnny and anabel, i would have no idea what really was gonna happen last round. so i feel like i do owe them something, but i really don’t have a choice. i just have to do what’s gonna keep me and only me safe. thankfully, jared said that he’ll vote with elmo chloe and i and vote one of them out. do i believe him? i genuinely do not know but i also dont have a choice but to just take this risk and believe him. hopefully i’m still here by the end of this round and hopefully jared wasn’t lying. i wouldn’t be shocked tho, i been lied to every fucking round. and bodhi and asya and lily don’t even speak to me. people’s jury management is pure shit. lying and then going on mute. idk i guess we’ll see…

SO MUCH SHIT HAS HAPPENED I LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHERE TO 

if i go home tonight then at least i went home taking a chance. it’s risky and anyone can be lying, but at least i’m trying to do something. and i’ll be able to live with that. i’m not gonna just sit around and wait for my death.

So why has Bodhi barely spoken to me all day and then messaged me asking "how are you voting?" fuck off u knob u pulled an idol out the other night and nearly sent me home ur lucky the vote tonight isn't u

tea from my thread:

so jared wants to make a move on the tumblr 6 with the minority 3 and we need someone for that so jared thinks asya is the easiest flip n we are trying to get 5 votes on anabel for this tribal to weaken johnny essentially if i got my way i would have voted with anabel + johnny for bodhi cuz that way we can still have johnny + anabel at f8 which is a BIG TARGET! but alas, johnny is selfish and wants to take out one more person from the minority before making a move i dont think he realizes that his actions might cause his close ally to go home but ya. rn there is a plan on foot of voting anabel jared/asya/me/zack/chloe would be the majoritea.

this could blow up in my face but i dont think johnny or jared would vote me out i think thats a rzn why i havent been targeted once yet bc i have p good connections to the other side

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Anabel is voted out 6-2-1. She becomes the fourth member of our jury.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode 9: “Anabel back on her crackhead bullshit.” -Asya

Justin going out after getting a self-vote. Don't trust anyone, not even yourself.

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ZACK FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL. ZACK FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL. ZACK FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL.

Me, Ben, Elmo and Zack were on a call and we all did an idol search and ZACK FOUND IT AND I SCREAMED AND ITS 3AM BUT I DONT CARE ZACK HAS A MOTHERFUCKING IDOL.

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Oh sweet fucking jesus.

So I get off call with Elmo, Ben and Zack and Zack is like hieee can we call? and im like okay? I have absolutely no idea what to expect at all. He's like I have something to tell u, at this point I'm like fuck this sounds like bad bad news or good news but idk if im mentally stable enough to handle either. He tells me he has the fucking premerge idol and that he got it on his first run. I'm sat there basically starting to cry like oh my god zack I cannot believe this right now. and he's like no there's more. My stomach fucking drops. He tells me Elmo knows as well. I'm like ok sis what the fuck. He had to tell Elmo because it was his first go and him and Elmo were sharing guesses. Okay I guess I understand. But he also said something like Elmo said not to tell me. Which really does have me thinking. I thought me and Elmo had a lot more open communication now, and the fact he didn't want to tell me something like this is a reason as to why I have been hesitant to talk game with him. But according to Zack he also said he doesn't think I would leak so maybe he was just thinking about not wanting too many people to know. I need to have a chat with Elmo tomorrow so we can clear some stuff up so I can know better where I stand, or just have Elmo lie to my face which I end up finding out later down the line when he inevitably tries to vote me out again. But oh how ironic it would be if I could convince Zack to use the idol on me to get Elmo out. Please note ~ I don't dislike Elmo, in fact I adore him. I just see me and him as very similar players and therefore I feel he would be one of my main competitions especially as this game gets further on. I just have a lot of feelings and a lot of things to discuss right now

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I've had so much to think about the last couple hours my mind is spinning. Justin voted out because of his own dumbass move to tell Johnny about his self-vote, like that's not a death wish waiting to happen. Hell I would've been on board with voting Justin had I known. He was a clear threat but I was planning on waiting 1 more tribal before trying to get him out. I was lied to by a lot of people, maybe 2 tribals in a row now which leaves me shaking and scrambling. Where the fuck do I stand with any of these people? Zack who I adore with all my heart where do I stand with you baby? I know you said you would use your idols on me and help get us both to the final. But I am scared, I am so so scared you could be lying to me. You said it yourself earlier you are so used to lying to people in this game that if someone asked if your name was Zack, you'd tell them it wasn't. I think it would hurt me more if you told me about your premerge idol and said you'd get us both to the end and then voted me out more than if you never told me anything at all. Did you tell me this because you're worried about your position or because you genuinely meant it? Remember I could be on the jury. Asya, my sweetness in this game. We didn't talk for a full day after Joey got voted out. It was only when I decided to own up to the fact I wrote her name down tonight that we opened a discussion and I feel we cleared the air a bit, both of us felt we had no choice when writing down each other's names. I hope things improve between us and we can work together again, however you have appeared to be inactive which kind of scares me. Johnny having kept the vote of Justin from me after I told him I felt I wasn't being listened to with the people I was aligned with has kinda rubbed me the wrong way since I very heavily hinted I wanted Justin out, but you can't be sayin those kinda things to people you're aligned with cause they could so easily turn on you. Although I had mentioned it to Zack and I think Zack would've been down as well so that was my plan for a couple tribals ahead. Do you really want to work with me or has this all been lies? Ben I do not trust as far as I can throw him right now. After Zack gets the idol he conveniently says he forgot to mention that he landed on one of the bonus spots on the way to the idol and got an extra vote. Okay bitch boy how the fuck does that just accidentally slip your mind? Do not trust one bit right now, once he realises he's on the bottom he's definitely gonna flee like fuck. Has a soothing voice though, I enjoy being on call. He's kinda funny, even if he does make Zack mad by the fact he's getting comfortable with us and calling us bitches. Bodhi is just a lying fucker and I want him out ASAP, he should've been the person we got out or at least tried to instead of Asya but whatever, there's always next time. Lily I have no idea what the fuck is going on in her head right now, she messaged me with some half hearted apology and then wants to create a group of people to work together but when I asked who she wanted to involve she has just ignored me, whatever your time will be up soon enough unless I try to drag u to the end with me so I have a goat since I haven't seen u do much other than win like 1 immunity challenge. Jared I wanna work with but idk how much trust is there, plus he's a strong player and I feel could do well so I want him out kinda soon oopsie. But who knows, if we start working together maybe it's something that could work out for us. Sometimes competition is good. Anabel a cutie but also a massive liability, never know what's going on with her and where she truly stands with anyone. I wish she would just be properly up front with me about who she's close with. Wish she spoke more game to me than she actually does. Elmo I've already wrote down a lot about how I feel about you but ya I love u so much I just think you're such a threat to me and there could be a vote where if it's not you that goes home it will be me. Also where the fuck do I stand with you? Are you being open with me? It'd crush me if you weren't I've been trying this game with you I really have. This is long and turned into something I didn't expect it to be and its like 5am so I need sleep. So much has gone on and I've so much to think about I don't even know where to turn right now.

i manifested that, right.. like.. i literally JUST said in my last confessional how me and chloe eventually wanted justin out and then it happened.. now, it didn't go how i would have wanted it to go, but it still went.. would i have loved to be part of that plan? duh. but i think justin leaving might be a blessing in disguise. or a huge curse. i guess we'll have to wait and see. all i have to say is this.. justin did that to his damn self. how stupid of him to tell johnny about the alliance we're in and the fact that he has a vote against him that round.. like WHAT is wrong with him.. all he had to do was keep his mouth shut and he would have been here kJGDSKS... and the fact that he literally told johnny EVERYTHING like what the fuck is wrong with you justin.. so stupid on your part and im so fucking pissed bc it fucks with my game. now.. some bigger news.. i found the merge idol?? KLHDFKLJSDKFGJL.... now i have two fucking idol. i can't believe IT. manifestation really does work. so ben, elmo and chloe all know about the merge idol because we all been helping each other find it.. and i told chloe i have the pre merge idol today. i told her elmo knows and that elmo didn't want me to tell her. i'm doing what i have to do in order to secure me spots more weeks into this game. but now this round is a speed round and i work 12-7 tomorrow so i'm gonna get no social game in really... this sucks and i just have to pray and hope they don't target me this round because i don't wanna have to use any idols yet. i really just wish this round wasn't sped up because it's really fucking with me and i hate the fact

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sorry i pressed enter before.. i hate the fact that i know i'm not gonna really be able to talk to people this round bc of work so i have to trust my allies will do everything correctly.. unlike how justin did anything he did.

Zack found the idol and I told our alliance about the extra vote. I am ride or die with Anabel's Angels at this point

Ignore everything I said in that last confessional. I don’t know what I’m doing. Getting Justin out was essential to moving those who I know I can trust to work with further in the game. Finally in an alliance with Jared and Johnny. I feel really solid about that. I’m continuing to not tell Elmo anything but still wanting to work with him so that’s a mood. But it sounds like my alliance along with Bodhi asya and anabel should be able to come together again and vote. But let’s find out cause I sure don’t know. Also Justin danggggg you were really coming out the gate. We gotcha but really respect how you make moves.

wow,,, speed round,,, crazy stuff miss aj,,, lol im so stressed ab this i literally dont know what im doing. jared wants to vote out ben and honestly i kinda do too, and i would w/o hesitation if it wasnt for zack elmo and chloe. i told them my voting justin out and lying to them was a one time thing and i like desperately wanna hold true to that, but jared brings up some INCREDIBLE points. i wanna tell them i wanna vote ben but ik they wouldnt react very well.. i just feel like voting him is best for my game bc like hes potentially the person whos playing the very best and im terrified of that bc i wanna win!!!! not him!!!!! it is just. hard. ill get back to u later prolly thank u for listening :)

so..... i lived

my heart was literally POUNDING during that tribal like i was fully prepared to drag anabel and johnny out behind me by their noses but ! i stayed ! sucks it had to be me or justin but according to chloe he may or may not have REALLY hardcore been pushing for me to go so.... the superior hawks stan won ig

oh yeah i talked to chloe. i’ve been putting it off but she messaged me and it wasn’t as bad as i thought bc as far as i’m concerned we’re even now. i want to really try to be a good ally to her. i know i have my alliance of 5 (6? are we counting lily in the alliance? she’s not physically in the chat but she’s been more of an ally to me than anabel so,) but i’m not stupid enough to think that those are gonna be the last people standing at the end. there’s always room for error. so i’m gonna do my best to work on my individual connections this round. it’s rough when these people literally just tried to send me home but we try anyways.

now. today’s issue. i literally want anabel gone So Bad. but johnny. he thinks that he has her on lock but like. if that was the case then the joey thing wouldn’t have happened (or maybe it wouldn’t have happened if the dumbass men listened to opinions other than their own but w/e). like she’s playing the game and doing it well. we’ve had two merge votes, both split down the middle almost. anabel is the ONLY person to vote on the right side both times. that doesn’t work for me. i don’t think she’s like actively targeting me because as far as i know, the facebook people kept justin’s self vote a secret from her? which means she might not have known we had the majority anyways 6-5 and she just voted him because she didn’t want me to go. and that’s all well and good, but i definitely see her being a problem for me in the later game. so. something to think about

Trust List 3.0:

1. Asya 2. Bodhi 3. Lily 4. Johnny 5. Chloe 6. Elmo 7. Zack 8. Anabel 9. Ben

anabel back on her crackhead bullshit. all i’ve said is that i won’t vote chloe because i gave my word and now suddenly she wants to vote chloe because johnny doesn’t want zack to go for some reason and his ass was out all day so basically he comes home two hours before the vote and starts changing shit up. i’m LIVID

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week-8/s-SjYaD

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Ben is voted out in a 5-4-2 vote. He becomes the third member of our jury.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode 8: “from now on i’m doing whatever the fuck I want.” - Asya

kind of a good thing i didnt vote this round because people dont know where i stand in everything

it seems to be facebook vs tumblr but fuck that bc i genuinely dont trust most of the tumblr people and id hope that if i jump on the facebook train that they'll take me into their community AND into their alliance if i become sheepy enough and stop socializing with people so i seem like an ftc goat. lets see what happens :)

I JUST WANNA REALLY QUICKLY RIGHT NOW APOLOGISE TO ELMO FOR THE LONG ASS CONFESSIONAL I MADE A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN I DOUBTED HIM. I WAS VERY VERY PARANOID AND THOUGHT LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THIS GAME WAS GONNA BE AGAINST ME AND I THOUGHT ELMO WAS PROBABLY GONNA BE IN THERE AS WELL JUST TO BE PETTY BECAUSE IM A DUMB BITCH OKAY I FEEL REALLY FUCKING BAD ABOUT IT ELMO PLEASE DO NOT HATE ME I ADORE U SO SO MUCH OH MY GOD

i’m like genuinely irritated lmao like i can’t even talk to these people i’m so mad.

i felt so bad lying to chloe and writing her name down when i genuinely just wanted to work with her in the merge. and these fucking Freaks were so sure that lily and anabel would vote her and it would be fine so i said okay. then what happened? one of those two flipped. i should’ve voted lily last night just to send a message. from now on i’m doing whatever the fuck i want cause fuck these people

Omgggggggg. I’m livinggggggggg. After completely flopping the last round I’m just so happy that I know That I’m safe. I’m trying to figure out how to navigate the rest of the game and I think it’s about damn time that I get an alliance going. Or at least have myself talk with everyone and make sure we can agree on a vote because if I’m in the minority again and either Johnny or Jared go home I’m a goner. I’m really hoping I can find a way to work with Elmo and Ben for the rest of the game as well. I think if I could be in an alliance with all of them I may just be able to make it far in this game. Also Chloe I’m sorry for voting for you last round. It’s honestly because of how iconic you are and I hope you can forgive me Queen.

WHEW what a night this has been. Ben decides to make an alliance chat with me, Elmo, Zack and Justin. Okay sure I guess this is happening now. We all be sharing idol guesses with him as well. It's called Anabel's angels, which is kinda funny since she's not in it but apparently Ben does not trust her to not leak it. I also had Jared speak to me and say he wont come for me this round if I don't go for him, I mean sure, I wasn't gonna go for you yet anyway so if this helps to take the target off me for once then fine. But he also mentioned that he spoke to Ben who said he wanted to work with me, which led Jared to say he would be open to as well. It leaves me questioning the bond between Jared and Ben. Not something I'm going to freak about just yet, but will be kept in mind. And I also had a chat with Zack about how I feel I'm being overshadowed a bit right now and a bit stuck. Justin is definitely in a power position right now and I think he knows, everyone sort of knows it, just no one from the alliance really wants to say it out of fear that he will then target him. I do think Justin needs to go soon, he's far too much of a threat the closer the end gets and I feel he definitely will be one of the first to at least attempt to make a move. I feel my first move should be to turn on Justin and if I pitch myself right I really think I could get it to work. Shame though because as a person I adore him, I just don't want him to start running this show too much and then be left scrambling to try to get him out near the end. To finish it all off, Lily has messaged me and said she wants to work with me this round after being totally inactive today. She gave a not fantastic apology compared to the others and did not give me a single reason as to why she voted me. Asya, yet to message me. @ both of them ~ hit the bricks bitch.

I wanna say that I'm really glad for Elmo, Zack and Ben and the fact I know them all. I had a not fantastic time today but tonight we called nd played some roblox, or at least I listened to them because my roblox wouldn't connect. I had so much fun and I feel it did bring us closer as a group and it was something I really needed. So ya I love these guys so so much, they deserve the world and I hope we have more roblox calls to come <3 <3 <3

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week8/s-0GitL

honestly feeling like my number is up. i don’t know i just have that icky feeling that i’m joining joey tonight.

i threw around the idea of throwing johnny utb to save my own skin, since he was very Loud last round abt his legacy advantage (which i’m starting to think he didn’t? actually? play? idk i wasn’t at tribal but i watched part of it and i don’t think there was any indication that he played the advantage) but idk how to feel about that. like if i did it would purely be out of self preservation, and not with the hope that he’d will me the advantage he may or may not have faked playing the other night. but anyways i don’t see myself lasting long regardless with the way things are. in a more fluid merge i’d be less worried, but i feel like there are capital s Sides and i’m on the wrong one

and chloe will have definitely told her allies i’m a lying rat by now. i wish i could talk to her but i’m Baby and if anyone is just a little bit mean to me right now i will legit burst into tears

my people still don’t have a name and honestly i don’t have one to throw out. the last time i did i was wholly ignored and it blew up in our faces. now that person has immunity and we don’t have the numbers. i don’t know i cant think about this anymore or i’m gonna concuss myself

"Hey Elmo? wanna vote Bodhi?"

"Not yet"

Oh we doing this again. I see you.

ugh. it's getting to the point where i literally can't deal with these people anymore. even the people i'm working with are getting on my damn near last nerve. the only person i've talked to about how i'm genuinely feeling, is chloe. i can't tell elmo and justin how i'm feeling because it's clear as day at how close they are and it's even more clear about how close they are with people outside of our alliance. and i'm glad when i talked to chloe, she felt the same way. everyone we're aligned with are so vocal and want to be in power so it's gonna clash soon i feel like. i don't want elmo and justin to think they're controlling everything and think i'm gonna just be in the background. i will be in the background for this vote though because it seems like justin is the one being in everyone's pm's trying to figure out how they're voting. and hopefully i'm not the only one who see's that and people start to realize how power hungry he really is. so i'll let him do all that right now and let him pick this vote and then when the time comes, people can think he was running it all and if it needs to be done, i'll drop hints here and there about it. i can't help but feel some typa way because i'm seeing it all with my own eyes and i don't think i'm over thinking it. elmo is close with jared and probably has multiple side deals. elmo and justin are closer then they're putting off. justin and johnny are close and justin seems to be trying to talk to everyone so.. all i know is, i need to start making side deals and talking to a lot of other people, and chloe agrees she's gonna do the same. so after this round, i think we're gonna try and get 2 step aheads and start focusing on the future of this game so we can try and have one over on them.. because i know this isn't gonna last.

haha so remember when i lied to jared and bodhi and asya and lily and voted joey out.. well.. perhaps i am now lying to elmo and ben and justin and zack and chloe and voting justin

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why am i LYING so much in this game. is it impossible for me to just. be HONEST. apparently it is bc there’s not one person ive been completely honest w... even johnny..... oopsies!!!!!

sorry this is a short one but everyone has agreed on asya but im almost like sure that its a fake plan and im NOT SURE IF I SHOULD PLAY MY IDOL OR NOT BECAUSE IM SO WORRIED HISDFHISDF BUT I DONT WANNA MISPLAY IT? I ALSO DONT THINK THEY SHOULD BE COMING FOR ME...

god im nervous jsdfoij

This is a last minute confessional im legit at tribal rn I think im going home. it was too quiet all day and I dislike what Bodhi has just said. I feel uncomfortable and sick. If I go home then I go home but I will be a bitter jury member.

this vote was going to be ben, but i tried to get it to split. ive workede pretty hard at this and maybe it’ll work.

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Justin is voted out 7-4. He becomes the second member of the jury.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode 7: “I just don’t think that makes sense” - Jared

Hello Elmo - welcome to your tape. We once again meet in an org. I was very excited to 1. make merge 2. to meet up with u in another org and to have the chance to work with you. However my excitement was almost immediately ruined. I asked if you want to work together and was greeted with "if our plans align". This was my first red flag of a few tonight. "If" not hey lets make our plans align nd work together, just a sort of ok sure if it swings that way. So I said that to you, we should make them align. You replied with "kk." BITCH TF DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING. And then you're all like I'm so happy you made merge you deserve this. Ok whatever I know that's just you trying to change the subject, which you do a lot when you want to avoid things hmmm. Then we start discussing HvV nd I made a joke about you maybe fucking me over here after I said I trusted you...you left me on read....so I'm not just gonna sit there and take that. I was like ok I see where I stand with you. And you're like nooo I want us to work together but also if you think you wanna vote me out because it's best for your game then don't be afraid to do that ~ and trust me I'm not scared to vote you out. I did it once before, I'll do it again. You did say that wasn't you plotting against me, and I sure as fuck hope you meant that because my dumbass does want to work with you even if right now I feel similar to how I did before and like I'm not your closest person, which really did affect us I think oops. We love having no trust in a duo. I let this go because I fully understand that hey maybe things won't work out for us in this org, although I'm really hoping they do. Then you're like hey lets guess for the idol together. Okay sounds promising doesn't it? think again. Turns out you gave your guesses to Justin and Zack. I'm glad you did tell me this though because it shows there's a little bit of trust, but I am wondering where that puts me in all of this. How close are you to Justin and Zack? I adore you and if you do feel you need to vote me out then so be it, I respect that and there wont be any hard feelings, but don't think I won't fight you for this. Hopefully I am just reading too much into things and you are wanting to work closely with me. I do pray we end up working together, I plan on trusting you more even if I do feel right now that is going to be a risk, but it's one I am willing to take. I know you're an absolute social king. I am the social queen, a king needs a queen but a queen does not need a king. Remember that.

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YEEHAW BITCHES I MADE MERGE. Been to every tribal council so far, plan on being here until the final tribal council. I'm not a threat I swear.

I made it to merge! This is very exciting considering this is my first discord game and I can sorta function on it so thats good. I've had the pleasure of hardly participating in any challenges and only going to the joint tribal where Dean was voted out. I pretty much have no real relationships in the game since I haven't had to really count on anyone in a tribal. The good news is a lot of people were messaging me last night even those who I haven't had a chance to be on a tribe with yet like Chloe and Bodhi. Well...I've played with Bodhi in several other seasons before and I'm glad I have an excuse to talk to him again but I also know how cut throat he can be. The good news is that Johnny told me that Jared along with Bodhi, Joey, and Asya would potentially work with us. This is good. As long as people are interested that should at least keep people away from voting for me. I've also been reunited with Justin. We were on our first tribe together and I thought that we could work well together. There is also Ben and Elmo. I think I've done surprisingly well and being connected with those in the tribe despite my "inactiveness". Johnny is def my number one but I also don't want our games to be the same. I also have a lot of trust in Elmo and it doesn't look like he is as well integrated or at least maybe is a little UTR too. If it looks like Johnny and I are just making the same decisions, I think people may side with Johnny. So its important that I stay alert to new opportunities and make sure that I'm looking out for myself. I think I've been playing an UTR kind of game so far and I'd like to continue doing that. If people like me or at least don't mind having me around then no one will throw out my name as a target. I submitted my video for the talent challenge and just hope that I don't get negative comments.

I MADE MERGEEEEEE FUCKING FINALLY.

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I need to rely heavily on an outside social presence, I need to keep up the fact that I’m working to ensure a heavy background role. I have a lot of ORG experience, and I often want to draw from the best players that I know, and combine most of their unique gameplay qualities. A few examples I’m going to be using is Michael mepole’s strategy for Touchy Subjects when he puts all his positive answers on much bigger targets than him in order to create a narrative and slide into the background. TJP, one of my best friends outside of games plays a game built heavily on strategy and sociability, which while I’m at my new place, is giving me more flexibility to play games and work on my one big flaw: my social game. I said previously that in this game, I have nothing to lose, and EVERYTHING to gain. Survivor is the closest thing to being a good running back in football. Some running backs like Le’Veon Bell are very patient, and wait for holes to open up so they can explode. If I can have 15% of that patience in this game, the entire season will open up BEAUTIFULLY for me. It is absolutely imperative that I make sure Jared and Johnny are the two most vocal players in our alliance, because I have more freedom than anyone else in this game, having never made merge in an ORG game(Fuck you Trevino) before, the sky is the absolute limit. I need to keep others at bay, and kind of do what Ian did: build a wall and make it nearly impossible to have a social game with me.

Just found an advantage, so im pretty much a king. thanks lov u

i’m so annoy eeeeed

johnny really lost his vote for a legacy advantage that now serves literally no purpose so that’s sexy. now we (me, johnny, jared, bodhi, joey) have to depend on anabel and i guess lily for this vote. also they wanna kill chloe which is ugly and not what i want so like.

i know anabel doesn’t wanna kill chloe but that might just be because she’s a facebook person. anabel and myself both wanna vote lily and for some reason that’s just not translating to these people. like y’all want lily to be our extra vote but that could easily be chloe, especially when anabel is the one who can swing it in our favor and she wants lily out like.

anyways my alternate solution was just to vote out one of the facebook men. idc who. then we can get lily on board and probably chloe, and we don’t need anabels vote. like if y’all are so worried abt facebook people then what i’m saying makes sense. chloe has shown an interest in working with me and none of y’all have heard shit from the others so?

anyways i get mad when i don’t get my way so sorry for all the ugliness i know will follow after this,,,,, ur all beautiful except for stinky johnny and his stinky legacy advantage

so this is my first tribal ever, im immune, and thats super cute and hot and everything, but u know what’s cuter and hotter?? this bitch right here is ab to do somethin crazy and perhaps stupid but it’ll provide good television!!! jared johnny bodhi joey asya and maybe lily and all want me to vote chloe and i have said that im down w that. HOWEVER, elmo justin zack chloe and ben are voting joey and they think im doing the same. im a bit conflicted rn. i am thinking i want to go w elmo bc he’s the person i trust a lot, but i really need to talk to like johnny bc he can’t vote this round, and i also trust him a lot!!! so basically we’re looking at 5 voting chloe, 5 voting joey, and then me. and whatever i do is what happens. not really quite sure if this is a good position to be in, i have 11 ppl who think im with them and that ill do whatever they say, but im not really ab that... i just rly need to talk to johnny bc he’s the person who’s gonna give me answers and insight and everything i need but he’s at WORK and this rly sucks. stay tuned for my decision LOL

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idk if i mentioned this in my last one but... the condition for me voting joey is that chloe zack justin elmo and ben have to say it was lily and NOT me. if this works im going to pee myself..

________________________________________________________________

so everyone except zack knows ab my big huge plan and if he would JUST FUCKING GET ON i would love to tell him.... i feel like all this shit is so unnecessary for the first merge vote, but they started it. so if they’re gonna be crazy, i am gonna be crazier.  and that’s just the tea. putting on my big girl panties and walkin into tribal w a plan in my head, a smile on my face, and lies on my lips (wow that’s poetic)

this is copied from my thread but thats fine:

SO ANABEL SAYS TAHT SHE WANTS TO CALL! so we call and she drops a bomb that there is a big grp of tumblrs working together trying to get chloe out and im like hmm huh and she asks me not to tell anyone and im like thats fine i think that i convinced to anabel that she can flip to our side bc if she does that then joey should leave 6v5 bc johnny cannot vote i also convinced anabel to tell everyone on the other side aka FB + Ben side so now i dont have to tell them and i dont incriminate my alliance between anabel i think that if this works it would be so good for me... like even if chloe leaves i should be in a good position its much favorable if joey leaves but chloe leaving is not HORRIBLE for me that being said theres no way i would vote chloe out bc it doesnt make sense considering they are not even including me in the plan but yeah im kinda excited that my social game is snapping rn

UPDATE: i think that i got anabel to flip and i rly want chloe to stay now bc i think she'd rly wanna work w me if she gets saved. ZACK FLORES U BETTER NOT SELF VOTE OR ALL OF THIS WILL GO TO SHIT!

PRAYS TO HAWAIIAN GODS FOR THIS TO WORK.

OMGGGGG THIS IS CRAZY. queen anabel is honestly doing what i think will be the best thing for her game and informing us (me, elmo, justin, chloe, ben) what the rest of the cast is doing and voting out chloe. anabel a snake QUEEN and wants us to blame lilly after all of this and i am SO FOR THAT. i just hope anabel isnt really working with them and the other side plan on like blindsiding me or something. idk.. if joey winds up going home then this will be so good and i will love anabel so fucking much. all HAIL the snake queen! anabel legend. just pls dont be lying to me bc idk our call we just had did seem a lil quick and shit..

today i am voting out johnny. i hate the judges of the last challenge except for anna dad. anna dad is cool..

This round is crazy i wish i had recorded audio.

{ ok this is part is written today: i forgot that my confessional was so shitty last round. everything below this will be falsified confessional trying to get back into my head from last round }

So tonight chlohie should be leaving. We have majority but Joey is getting some votes too. It'll be 6-5 and joey will be safe. I would be totally shocked if Joey were to leave.  

What time is it? *clap clap* it's that time where I over share my feelings in here yeehawwwwww. So going into this tribal this morning, ya girl was nervous. It was quiet. Too quiet. The first name I hear is Joey, I'm kinda like oh no I like him but he's not too active so okay. As the day progresses and I'm still not hearing anything, the alarm bells start to go off a bit. I'm trying to tell myself I'm just being over paranoid, it's okay, I am fine, it's just a simple merge vote. All of a sudden I get Anabel rushing into my messages telling me she wants to call, I'm like ok cute bonding experience I'm here for it. Ben then in my messages saying to be prepared for the shit show that Anabel is about to tell me. I can feel my pulse rising I be looking like spongebob up in this bitch just shooketh. I call Anabel. She's like sis ur being targeted. Im like you're fucking kidding. Shocked but not surprised. Asya, who I thought was my homegirl, now up in this bitch wanting to vote me. People I been talking to all day being like wow I'm nervous be wanting to vote me. And why? Am I a threat? AM I REALLY A FUCKING THREAT? I been to every tribal council yea, but at the same time I'VE BEEN TO EVERY TRIBAL COUNCIL. PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK AND STOP TARGETTING ME FOR 2 SECONDS. So where I think I stand right now - I'm working with Zack, Justin and Elmo hardcore. We have Asya, Bodhi, Joey, Lily and Jared on the other side. Then in the middle there's Ben and Anabel. But then Johnny I'm shitting myself about because I've no idea where he stands right now. If this goes to plan Joey will go home tonight instead of me. Watch yourself Asya, I thought we had each others back. You apparently just want to stab me in mine.

________________________________________________________________

just made like a pretty lengthy lowkey negative confessional. So here's a positive one. I've decided that I love Elmo again and I adore him fully as a person he makes me so so happy and I'm happy to actually have a shot at fixing out broken org relationship. He's fully one of my favouritest people I've ever met EVER. and I'm so so so happy I get to play with him again. Zack I also love so much, I feel we've never had the proper chance to connect but we kinda highkey doing it here and I want to go far with him. He always makes me smile no matter what. I just really really hope he's having fun. Justin I also love a lot, at first I was kinda unsure about him. He reminds me a lot of myself. But now I couldn't imagine this game without him. He is a strong player but I fully admire him. I'm glad I got to meet him for the first time ever in this game and I sure hope we continue to be friends even after it ends.

These 3 people make my little heart sing and although I'm not in the position I thought I would be in right now, part of me is glad. I think we're just going to be brought closer and I'm excited to see what future tribals hold for us.

DUDE CAN WE JUST VOTE OUT CHLOE SO I CAN ACTUALLY STAY

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Joey is voted out 6-5. He becomes the first member of the jury.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode 6: “my whole entire game is built on lies” - Zack

ok so im pretty sure that if we win this challenge and if we don’t merge and my tribe wins the next immunity challenge then i will break the record for most tribal immunity wins and i think that’s pretty good and cool

also elmo?? cutest person on this earth. i now understand why he was so beloved on facebook, it’s bc he’s an angel. i love him and if he keeps being this sweet he will most definitely replace johnny as my number one in this game and that is not a joke.

________________________________________________________________

i rly am boo boo the fool huh.... tribal immunity record is for TRIBES, not people.... i NEED to be stopped before i embarrass myself any more than i already have

ok so the plan was to vote out thomas since we figured a merge was coming and like. we don’t need someone to win comps in the merge we need loyalty. and joey was just kinda the easier pick when it comes to that bc i don’t really know what thomas has going on with other people whereas joey got here and basically told us every observation he’s ever had in the game. us being me and jared. we have an alliance w jared bodhi and i and discussed expanding in the merge so it’s us, joey, anabel, johnny, and possibly elmo. yeah

anyways we didn’t merge so wig

So, last night’s tribal was kinda  frustrating. Adam was blindsided, and I was completely left in the dark by it. Justin popped into my DMs, and told me, “Thanks for voting me.” I told him we were even, since while he did get two votes, I was the one that was ultimately left in the dark on the vote. I didn’t even realize that Adam was the real plan. So in that, Zack and Chloe kinda lied to me there, but I appreciate that they apologized. I’m just worried that I’m gonna be the next to go now if we lose this challenge…

I really am so fucking heartbroken that Tommy went. Ok ya I went mental a couple days ago nd I was ready to vote him out but I think that was all a big misunderstanding. I do actually really like the guy and after the whole thing with Adam he was kinda my rock and I really really wanted to meet up with him again in the game, we were gonna be the power duo of the season and everyone was supposed to be mad about it. And now I sit here fucking upset because I lost him and now idk what to do. When merge hits tf am I supposed to do without him? Why did I have to be put on a shitting tribe with Adam and not Tommy? Fuck every single person that voted him out. My next fucking targets.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week5/s-Tr6tW

okay so i told my tribe about my legacy advantage (except lily) and i think that im going to be FINE with it all and im not super worried about the people on my tribe, but I know im 100% playing my legacy advantage at the final twelve, which is going to be next round, but yea....... idk im definitely going to tell jared once we end up merging, and slowly but surely tell other people, but yea, we'll see..... i also know i cant vote next round so eep

im also on call with jared rn talking about personal nonsense and we're screensharing while i play poker and hes distracting me from making this confessional any longer, so yea BYE BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Pray for me at the merge

So, we lost the challenge. I’m definitely nervous, but I assume the plan is that Zack, Chloe, and I vote Justin. Zack promised to me that he would not vote for me. I’m pretty sure Chloe is good with the plan as well. They haven’t been online for a while, but hopefully, they don’t screw me twice in three nights.

i feel like all i do in this game is lie. like my whole entire game is build on lies. KDKDKDK. as soon as we lost the challenge i promised ian that i wouldn’t be voting for him. that was a lie... and for what? what’s the point of lying? idk! i lies to justin about not having the idol and pinned it on johnny having it.. straight up lied to adam and ian last round and was in a whole ass fake alliance with them.. and the list just goes on. anyway. hopefully me chloe and justin can stick together and just vote ian out of here. BUT they have been very quiet so it is a little shady... i gotta feel the situation out a little more in order to feel totally comfortable enough to not use my idol. but i have hope. anyway let’s hope this just goes smoothly and i don’t get caught up in my lies anytime soon.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week6/s-gP0Z2

u know this round has been a lot.... but at lesat we won and then johnny's bitch ass says that he has been LYING ABOUT NOT HAVING NAYTHING!? WELL ITS OKAY BUT AT LEAST HE REVEALED IT *NOW*!

now i have justification for not telling him about my idol xoxo

im in progress of getting closer w everyone on my tribe bc i rly want this tribe to work together come merge, i think lily could be in big trouble but it doesnt serve my game to boot her immediately, there are bigger threats for me so im gonna try to protect her to my best ability! i think that this vote is gna get ian out and thats sad be he was an option for me at the merge but it is what it is.

im just excited to merge already and (hopefully) make the jury in CELESTIAL! (even tho jury wont prob start yet if we merge at f12... hm)

Trust List:

1. Joey 2. Bodhi 3. Asya 4. Anabel 5. Elmo 6. Lily 7. Ian

So...Justin just messaged me and outright said he is voting for me because I voted for him last tribal. Someone’s a little salty about Wednesday night, and I don’t know if it’s more him or me. Anyway, I guess I know who I’m voting for, then.

I'm just SICK of going to tribal, absolutely sick of it. I feel like I'm constantly clawing to stay in this game, as much as I'm proud of myself for making it this far in the game I would like one night where I can properly relax and just have a good time without having to vote out one of these people that I've created a bond with. Just once I don't want to be thinking whether I'm possibly ruining a friendship. It hurts me so much.

Just having a ball u know how it goes. Also Jonny admitted he had the legacy advantage

i told the tribe about my legacy advantage and now im mcfucked.com thanks

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Ian is voted out 3-1,

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode 5: “my scumbag ass did the unthinkable and dirtbagged myself to safety” - Adam

AHHHHH I DID IT my scumbag ass did the unthinkable and dirtbagged myself to safety, I’m not proud of what I had to do or how I behaved when Taylor got eliminated but in all honesty that was all I knew I could do to get me through.

So okay let me explain my mindset, I was a goner I felt fucked and my back was most certainly against the damn wall. Nobody was answering me and nobody was even trying to talk to me, I knew that Thomas and Chloe are tight as fuck so I needed Tom to think that Taylor was going for Chloe so he would feel that he needed to protect her.  All the red flags were there for Chloe and she knew it was m I could see it in her face that she didn’t believe me at all when I was framing Taylor. She knew that I had made it and I honestly did the dumbest thing ever by snapping and celebrating cause it was live to the cast and being all new to live tribals I wasn’t thinking at all

Okay so after a very explosive tribal council one that I will honestly learn a lot from for future games 😂😂 a swap happens and I was hoping that I could be swapped with like Elmo but I got out with Zack and Ian oh and Chloe... she loves me I swear.

I think I just need to work on just staying calm and cool to try and claw back from that very unneeded aggressiveness just gotta grind this challenge out and get a W

I’m on a tribe with Asya. This is gonna go SO well😒

Im still reeling from that fucking tribal. Im so mad at myself for voting out Taylor and letting Adam fucking manipulate me. Im sick of men, Im sick of their shit. Men have no place in my life right now, theyre all lying cheating fucking scumbags and I would rather cut my tongue out before I ever have to talk to another man again

So, this has been an interesting 24 hours. We swapped tribes again, and as it turns out, the two people who were probably beefing the most at tribal, Adam and Chloe -- they both end up on my tribe. It's a bit frustrating, because I like them both. And if we lose this challenge and have to go to tribal, and they end up opposite each other, I'm worried about picking sides. In fact, I'm worried, period, about this damn tribal. 5 people equals not many places to hide. Yikes.

I’ve been crying about it. I fucking suck, we just established that.

Well it's another loss! I feel like Denise Stapley xD. Anyways, I was put all alone on my new tribe but since I wanted to strangle Adam after what he did it's a good thing, but then I realize poor Chloe is with him I hope he gets it after that last vote. As for this vote, I think of Joey and his third grade picture of a flag that says Kane instead of Milu makes him the easy target. But it is still early, something may change. I'm glad to be back with Asya and both Bodhi and Jared are really cool. I feel I have options.

No. Fuck this. I'm absolutely sick of going to tribal. No. I'm not happy at all. I'm pretty sure I'm cursed right now and all I want to do is sleep. Also Adam is back in my DMs being like lol I still wanna work with u. No thank u to that either. Adam plus tribal makes Chloe not very happy

Well I’m going to another tribal council, I’m getting sick of these but I think if I survive this one their is a possibility merge is next so I think me and tribals will just stay being friends. Poor Chloe and Tommy though they legit have been to every single tribal where I’ve been to every one BUT one.

My plan here is to try and vote Justin with Ian and Zack and hopefully the three of us can Hold the majority this round and take him out so that way moving forward I still slightly gave chloe who I believe is starting to come around again. I think she is finally starting to understand that the only reason I did what I did was being I was getting voted out and desperate times call for desperate measures and I think she gets that.

I’m going to tell her about my plans to vote Justin in a little bit I just hope that she agrees to it calmly and we can just have a simple 4-1 and call it a day.

hey yawlls this round was wild... so basically we swapped AGAIN and I'm with ben, johnny, anabel and lily, so overall a very solid group of people.

I'm rlly happy that I'm on the tribe with Ben because we share a lot of same thoughts about the game and I think that we are somewhat of a duo? I mean there's no bond or agreement between us but still! Really happy to have him here bc I trust him a lot, maybe more than I should.

Then we also have Johnny. He's the obvious threat of the game. He loves challenges and he is pretty darn strong socially too. I was very happy when he approached me with a ride or die deal. It's rlly good for my game at least for now because in order for me to reach far in this game I need to work with a lot of threatening people, if I vote all the out, it won't be a good look for me. Johnny also revealed a lot about who he knows before the game (i kinda knew of a lot of the info though bc i follow a lot of different orgs oops sidfashfd). But yeah! I think this round could start a beautiful partnership between us, I doubt that it will last until the end but it's great that it's a thing at least for now

Next up is Anabel. She is a sweetheart and I see a genuine opportunity to work with her in this game. She's innocent queen so far and I think she'd be loyal to her alliances, however I am also aware that she has crackhead tendencies so I just can't take her loyalty for granted. I rlly like talking to her tho so I think the more I talk to her the less likely it is for her to try to make a move one me? We'll see I guess but I just don't wanna blindly trust her.

Lastly, Lily. Ugh, a busy queen. I am very happy that we won the challenge because if not, there's high chance of her getting voted out of the game. She isn't as connected as the rest of us. The reason why I went so hard for the challenge was because I don't think its smart for my game to vote her out. I REALLY don't see her flipping on me and if she were to do it, I think she'd tell me about it which is the exact reason I want her to be in the game cuz I know I'm gnna need ppl who are v loyal to me. I also have worked a lot on trying to build a bond with her on a gameplay level too and so far so good, I'd say!

I think my position in this tribe is vvvvv good because of the randomly formed group of me Johnny and Anabel (although nobody talks in there, I take it as their sign of I want to work with you). Johnny also has the Ku advantage and while he says that it's nothing, I am not sure if I believe that. I doubt its an idol but I have a feeling that it could be something to help him in the game, yanno? I think that eventually he's gonna tell me though, yanno? Idk this is my random thoughts of the game. It's a blessing to be at confirmed F13 but there's long way to gooooo and I'm kinda here for it.  My predictions for the boots on the other tribes are Joey and Adam but we'll see what happens !

Just won another challenge. Kinda wanted to go to tribal for this one so I could solidify some bonds with ppl but oh well. It could be worse. I could be going home this round lmao

THIS. ROUND. WILL. BE. THE. DEATH. OF. ME! i feel like this round is gonna throw a major wrench in my game for the upcoming days because it's gonna show some people that i'm not as loyal as i say i am. adam and ian think i'm in an alliance with them and that is NOT the case! i feel more loyal to chloe and justin and think i can advantage further in the game with those two. adam and ian think we're all gonna be voting to evict justin, but when adam gets 3 of the votes and winds up going home, i don't think it's gonna be pretty. ian is gonna see that i was never loyal to him but WHATEVER! i had to do what i had to do and i had to lie to them to protect my own self this round! i didn't want them to flip the name around on me, because you never know what could happen in a game like survivor! so yes. me chloe and justin are in a serious alliance and we all plan on evicting adam. adam and ian think i'm in a serious alliance with them and are gonna be evicting justin. so.. this is gonna be another tribal council for the books of celestial i feel like.. so lets get ready and prepare for war! bring it gays.

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i honestly can't help but think the worse. yes, i trust chloe and justin 100% but.. justin seems to be stressed since adam and ian wanna vote him out. so justin can easily turn this around on me and tell adam and ian everything if he is LITERALLY worried about leaving. and chloe can just turn around and tell ian and adam what i'm doing if chloe wants me out. so yes. i trust them, but my mind can't stop thinking the worse. if chloe and/ or justin think i'm a threat in this game, they can turn this all around on me and vote me out since i'm doing the most here and lying my ass off to adam and ian and in an alliance chat with them right now. i'm worried, but i'm just gonna pray this all works out.

https://youtu.be/P9aV81hAjZY

https://youtu.be/0hB313P66RE

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Adam is voted out 3-2. Thomas is voted out 4-1 at double tribal.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode 4: “WHO MADE THE FUCKING ALLIANCE?” -Chloe

We just won another challenge here on Huamea which is lit. I think we are going to swap soon, but if not and we go to tribal with this tribe I think I’ll be fine. I’m still set up with randy Elmo and Ian well, and I think we could successfully target Joey if needed

Well another sit out for me but I’d say it was a good decision. We got 1st place and I don’t think I would have been the most helpful in this one. Really appreciate my tribe mates for coming through tho. Now I’m just wondering if there is going to be a swap. If there isn’t then we have to sit out three people on the tribe. Aka sitting out pretty much everyone who did the last one. As per usual, I’m very busy this week. Hoping I can find enough time to help in the challenge so that we can win or at least not come in last. I still have no alliances...but I think that’s okay for now. I think I’m in a good place with Jared and Elmo. We had each other’s backs if we went to tribal after the music video but we didn’t have to go. Joey also told me before results that he wouldn’t vote for me if we lost. Hoping that these promises or positive thoughts will continue farther into the game. At least until we get to jury. I also want to publicly own up to the fact that I still don’t know how the idol system works and I just don’t have the energy for it. So I’m just gonna pretend it doesn’t exist. Yep. That’ll do.

I was going to do a video confessional, but I high key got lazy and dont have too much to say

we won again which is great. I truly do feel like I kinda carried the team in a challenge I wasn't that great at, but it was really an all around effort and I'm glad we stayed.

I really do think I am in everybody's top 1-2 on this tribe except for the potential of Zack as well, but I like him a lot so I wouldn't want to see him go.

Nothing makes me want to win like when I have a tribe full of people I genuinely like. If I can help it, i really want to get to the merge without having lost another challenge due to my lost vote that I still haven't had to use yet, so I need those to be as spread a part as possible, and I don't want people to suspect me

those are kinda my only thoughts for now. hoping we don't swap until 14 and we get another round in these tribes, then a swap at 14 and merge at 12 (since my legacy advantage basically tells us we're merging at 12)

justin said he feels like a double might be happening sometime soon, but I'm not so sure about that just because of cullan getting expelled, and I feel the hosts would now elongate it a bit, but we'll see

im chillin for now

anna is ab to check confessionals and i can’t remember if i made one so this is my confessional.... johnny is rly nice to me and it scares me bc what if he is PLAYING ME.... and zack is also rly nice to me and that scares me TOO.... justin don’t fuckin talk to me and bodhi and asya barely do..... u know what 15th looks kinda cute rn bc i think that’s my destiny..... we floppin 🤪

Well, it’s still pretty quiet over at the Haumea camp. My tribemates kicked ass at the immunity challenge (sometimes, it pays to submit early), and I’m still getting along with everyone very well. I have suspicions that we could be switched up again next round, but hey, what do I know?

not much game development, im still attempting to keep my connections afloat in my tribe, i think ive now talked game with everyone and generally im in a rly good position, i dont wanna get too cocky bc that could lead to my downfall. I think that after this round we could potentially swap again to 2 tribes of 8. That would be kinda wild and I'm here for it

sry for a short one

I don't know if I should be sad, disappointed, angry, or all of the above. Losing this challenge was rough, and it's pretty evident the majority of the effort came from Adam, next would be myself. Clohie and Tom put little to no effort in the challenge. As stated before Tom's approach to the game has been pretty lackadaisical. He has hardly put any effort into not only the challenges but just his day to day interactions with the castaways. When I wanted to form the alliance with him and Clohie, he didn't relay the information to Clohie. And when Clohie indirectly asked him he didn't even acknowledge the possible alliance then either. I guess what I'm saying is...I want Tom out! Since this swap I have had my best relationship in Clohie, I like Adam, but I can tell he's a smart guy...so I'll keep him at a distance for now. I really do want to try and get Tom out though as a test of Clohie's loyalty to see if she would vote out one of her own. I think I have put myself in the situation where everyone feels comfortable with me moving forward, so I don't foresee my name being written down but I could be wrong, it is Survivor after all. I'm assuming we're coming to another swap, I just hope I'll have allies going into it, and if not allies, challenge beasts please. 3 out of 4 tribals isn't a good look😬 And can we talk about the idol system, all I have to say is: I HATE ALL OF YOU (to whoever helped put it together) G'Day.

Haha idk what the fuck is happening right now. So Tom can go and talk about our alliance with Taylor, with Adam. But still hasn’t mentioned it to me? Ok 🙃 I could easily vote Tom out here but idk I feel like he’s loyal? Maybe?? But then again I know him more than Adam and Taylor and that’s maybe why I wanna keep him even if I know he’s probably trying to fuck me over rn

hiii! this round went so quick?? idk it just zoomed by in my opinion haha. listen.. we won immunity and i’m grateful. another week safe with my idol so i’m just getting closer and closer to merge. i’m hoping for a swap soon and i’m expecting it. i would love if me elmo and justin got on a tribe together that way we can start to actualllllly work together and show eachother our trust that way once merge comes we can just kill it! not much happened this round but i’m just feeling grateful and wanted to let you all know! y’all are great host and i’m having so much fun. Xoxo

Heading into this next challenge, I feel great. I have a tight bond with Jared, Lily and I just so happen to be in the same friend group chat, and have been talking alot, Elmo is awesome, but the two that worry me are Ian and Ben. Ben and I haven’t talked much, and once again, Ian is preventing me from trying to build a bond by just building a ridiculous wall up. Maybe he isnt cut out for these games tbh.

Well it's either Adam or Taylor. Chloe wants Taylor to stay. I don't really care who stays xD I'm probably gonna random.org this vote, I do not know to if I want Adam or Taylor here. Plus that random ass alliance chat doesn't help

tribe assessment:

jared - out of everyone i get probably the most loyal vibes from him, idk what it is. he's rly genuine whenever i talk to him. i think the fact that we played a game like over 3 years ago means a lot to him. i wouldnt be v shook if he somehow schemed against me at some point at early-mid merge or something. right now i think he wants to work with me for the long term

ben - ive been talking to him a lot from the beginning. i think that he's with me for now, i for sure think that he's going to make a move on me later on though, im not sure when but for now i trust him and i think i can work with him. I think if numbers r close at the merge he'd want to side w me. I'm not sure how well connected he is. I like talking to him but he works a lot (what a king tbh) so that probs hinders his ability talk a lot

lily - she is not the most active, which is sad because she is a kickass player. If she gets too far in this game, that could potentially be a problem, if we are not working closely together that is. She's EXTREMELY loyal and i think that if i keep talkin to her, she'd want to work with me for the long term. Potentially I think that she should be in my end game but obvs its way too early to say that

ian - he is one of the more quieter ppl but the more u talk to him, the more u get out of him and I'm starting to notice that. I think that we have a pretty solid connection over all and I rly like talking to him! he is p different than I am so that gives me good perspective. game wise, i havent had a lot of discussions with him yet but im working on it a lot bc i think he could be someone i have potential with

joey - hes nice. he doesnt talk a lot which is kinda weird. he said that he has my back but im not sure if he said that out of keeping himself away from my radar or if he actually meant it. I am not really sure? I wouldn't be very surprised if Jared hinted to him that I could potentially be lookin to vote him out. I think that there is POTENTIAL of me working with him but i think if i had to choose someone who i'd want to vote out, it would probably be him.

i could be totally oblivious about my situation but i genuinely think that im in a v strong position in this tribe. I believe i have potential (i think) to work with everyone on our tribe which i really like.  This is all based on intuition though so i could be TOTALLY Wrong. The fact that we never lost just means that I have no solid proof or claims. Only my own perceptions. Idw be cocky in this game, it has been my downfall before. I want to be in a mindset that people are against me.I thrive when I'm under pressure. I kinda wished that we went to at least one tribal just to see how everyone here was game wise. Oh well!!

if i was going to be the boot on our tribe i look like a total clown rn.

Besides the fact that I’m leaving tonight, yeah not much is going on! I’m so disappointed that this is how my game is coming to an end. I’m at a loss of words so I’m sorry if you want more I just don’t have it in me

i’m.... goin thru a lot of emotions. for no reason. idk

at the last tribal council the person who i was least happy to be cast with was voted out so that was one less thing to worry about. then we won immunity. which is nice. but also i get lazy premerge when we keep winning immunity. it doesn’t help that my social battery is currently at %10 and i have a broken charger. but. oh well.

i have to play in the next immunity and idk. if there’s only 3 of us competing and two of them are me and justin then maybe we really Will be going to tribal next round who knows.

also i’m really bad at idol hunting. i didn’t give enough birth. the lizard goddess has no interest in making an appointment w me. i killed myself one time and got nothing for my troubles. i feel like something’s definitely been found by now, aside from johnny’s legacy advantage. idk it’s feelin a little bleak bc i figured my best shot at finding an idol would be premerge and i know we still have a ways to go probably but if the idols are found then that’s it on that.

This is literally going to be the most gut wrenching vote. Clohie and Tom will not budge, or even fathom the idea of voting out the other. I'm under the impression they want Adam out, but I'm also afraid of the possibility of a vote against me....so I have to contemplate if it's smarter to tie the vote 2-2 first and then vote out Adam, or to just trust that they are in fact voting Adam. Something else I'm praying on if I survive this round, is for a swap. Because without one, I'll be on the bottom of the 3 with Clohie and Tom obvi sticking together since their original Kanaloa. And our challenge record is not the best. Adam is probably our strongest challenge performer so that's another reason I'd hate to see him go. Tom and Clohie are just so mysterious and vague, and Adam has been nothing but upfront with me. Ugh, just the thought of a tie vote or drawing rocks makes me so sick...I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

This has been the most stressful vote I have had to deal with, EVER. Taylor is a snake but Chloe wants to keep him and I get better vibes from Adam. I am considering doing a 2-2 if Chloe votes Adam and if it goes to rocks, so be it.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week4/s-94KbM

________________________________________________________________

Taylor is voted out 3-1.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode #3: “New Tribe New Tribulations.” - Ben

That joint tribal went almost perfectly besides the fact that a dean voted for me for whatever freakkkkiing reason, but I really came out of that tribal with close allys in Johnney and Chloe from the other tribes so I really think that is dope I would type more but I’m shot

wow ladies so im sitting on the toilet rn and i am fucking shaking in my boots. do u know how worried i am rn. im so worried. johnny said at the joint tribal that we were SOMEHOW not a part of that the 13 of them had already gotten to know each other and meet each other and everything that hit me rly hard bc like.... shit. shit shit fuck. fuck fuck shit. fuck. they’re friends already and more likely than not lono is gonna get picked off one by one at the tribe swap or whatever im literally so scared

Omg omg omg I just went to like my first ever live tribal and it was soooo exciting omg omg omg. I really loved having the chance to sort of better connect with these people and have a moment with them that you wouldn't otherwise have really. And, I survived so that's a massive plus as well!! Eek I'm just so excited right now to be playing this season and everyone on the other tribes seem so active and happy and I'm really looking forward to getting to know them more throughout the season. It sucks I had to lose Dean but we all have to make sacrifices somewhere.

Just got on new tribes and I’m pleased. I think I should be able to make some strong connections here. Elmo’s on my tribe and that really helps. Also talking to Joey and he seems pretty cool. Hopefully we do a good enough job on whatever song we choose so none of us have to go home. Hopefully Johnny, Justin, and Taylor are alright. I still kinda don’t know what I’m doing or where I am. Didn’t realize until half way through the last round that all 3 tribes were at the combined tribal. I thought there were 10 of us and that it could be a split vote. True flop? Yes. Maybe I’ll decide to get it together.

After a really crazy tribal council, we swapped and to be honest I don’t feel as bad about this as I probably should. I feel like during the joint tribal I bonded well enough with Chloe, Thomas and Taylor where I think that if we go to a tribal I have enough bonds started that will keep me safe at least for another round and on top of that we also got Cullen on our tribe which is honestly the best case scenario because that could honestly be a free round!

Trust Rankings (Early AF) 1. Chloe 2. Thomas 3. Taylor 4. Randy Who’s Cullen?

Well I knew I was going to be talking about the swap eventually. Cullan just got evacuated which is sad and I hope he is doing okay. I'm glad I swapped with Chloe and I feel Adam and Taylor are staring to see me and Chloe as a duo, which can be either good or bad. Randy I need to talk to more. Taylor and Adam both said they would be a number to me and Chloe if we need them, but I hope to hold that off for a little while.I just want to win this next challenge and avoid tribal :)

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DOES THOMAS THINK HE IS DOING RIGHT NOW?   Taylor has messaged me saying last night they spoke to Thomas about maybe us 3 working together and that Taylor thought maybe Thomas should message me first about it. But here I am with Taylor messaging me about it and no word at all from Thomas. I've given Thomas a chance to bring it up, I've been sat talking to him about how he's now finished school so he has more time to play orgs. This could so easily lead into a conversation about how Taylor messaged him. But instead he's just said "Im gonna go get a slurpee" well while you're out go find someone else to work with you because you're gonna need all the help you can get because I'm fucking coming for your bitchass now and I'm not gonna stop until it's red raw from taking all these hits from me.

New Tribe New Tribulations. I stayed with Elmo which is good, and I have been chatting up the rest of the tribe. Jared seems nice and I've floated the idea of working with him at a potential tribal. I've talked less with Lily, but she seems nice. People I've talked the least with are Ian and Joey. Joey never responded to my messages, and Ian I just don't talk to lol. I'm pretty confident ian would stick with me and elmo and I think we could successfully target Joey, especially if we hold the milo 3 over their heads and threatened rocks.

So, my premonition was most indeed correct. We ended up swapping from 4 tribes to 3 tribes. Not that that’s a totally bad thing. I mean, looking at OG tribes on Haumea 2.0, I’m in a 3-2-1 majority. And we had a music video challenge. My tribe lip synced to I Write Sins Not Tragedies. The question is, will we be pouring the champagne in victory? Or will the goddamn door be closed on one of us at tribal council?

whew. sorry i haven’t made a confessional yet i’ve been busy. but now i feel like i’m gonna leave out important info so let’s hope i don’t. we swapped tribes and that was... a bummer. i had my 3 person alliance over on my other tribe and i had elmo! i miss elmo so much and just hope we meet again soon. i don’t really loooove my new tribe.. i like justin of course and i think i’ve been hitting it off with johnny. and strayed talking to anbel a bit. tried to talk to bodhi and asya but nothing really clicked. here’s something interesting.. justin told me he went idol searching and he looked where i looked round one and where i found the idol. he told me that a power was there but it’s now gone and he told me that johnny told him he looked there but said he just drowned in the vortex and didn’t say anything about a power being there. so i think johnny just messed up his words but now justin thinks johnny has a power and i’m just letting him think that and throwing scenarios out there and i can let johnny take the blame hehe. i also went idol aka advantage searching somewhere and i got somewhere asking if i’d be willing to give up 2 votes. i thought about how during the joint tribal a vote was missing so i assumed whatever power is there, somebody has it. so i said nope bye i want my votes! i told justin about this so i can kinda pin asya having this power since she was at the joint tribal and she’s on my tribe now so it could be a good excuse to vote her off if we ever go to tribal and i can be safe another round.

so now justin thinks johnny has the idol or some kind of power even though it’s really me who has it. and thinks asya has whatever power she got for giving up 2 votes. idek if asya is the one who got that power but i needed someone to pin it out so we have an excuse to vote her out and i can stay safe.

i also wanna apologize for whatever spelling mistakes i make and if i literally don’t make any sense at all. it’s so hard to type up exactly what i’m feeling and put it into words kdkdkdkd.

Trust List:

1. Joey 2. Anabel 3. Elmo 4. Ben 5. Bodhi 6. Lily 7. Randy 8. Ian

so we swapped which is great! the initial numbers are 3-2-1 and im in the 3 so that's great! however ian isnt the most socially active player so i think he could easily be the target of the 2 and the 1 and i dont think either ben or myself would want to pull a rock for him right now

i think i will hint him to get close to like lily or someone so in case we ended up losing a challenge she'd want to target joey instead of him. thats the goal. i dont want to lose ian bc basically if lily sides with joey in that situation, jared will be the decider and while i do trust jared, i think it gives him too much power yanno and it might be enticing for him to stick to his OG tribe ally rather than two ppl he met at the swap

im not sure how that will go but i hope well hehe! ALSO I FOUND AN IDOL, ZACK'S INFORMATION PULLED THROUGH!!! i havent told anyone yet, in fact host made a mistake in the beginnin sayin that it was already found and then said like 1h later, oh u actually have an idol and that got me SHOOK TO MY CORE! the awk thing is that i told ben already that i didnt find it so hdiasfahsdif! i just hope that when / if i tell him, he wont be too upset with me bc i right now i consider us p close!

It’s hot as hell where I am right now. Better to be sweating over the heat than sweating over tribal, I guess.

I got tribe swapped fucked and im annoyed.

So i got put on a tribe full of STINKY stinky players. And the challenge is a lipsync so im like "submit the lipsyncs ASAP" and theyre practically more than useless and do nothing. So we submitted practically nothing because theyre so fucking bad at time management. And now we're at tribal.

Nobody talking to me about the vote, so I'm going home. I'll try and pull a stunt but idk. Wish me luck

Milu 2.0...hmmm... Where do I begin? 🤔 So my feelings on the tribe are mixed. Adam, Tom and Chloe were all part of the previous joint tribal so I had already had conversations with all of them. It made it easier to socialize when the swap actually did happen. Tom seems like a cool cat, and I had approached him with the idea of him, Chloe and I grouping up. Chloe seemed more than okay with it, but Tom never talked to Chloe about it like he said he would. That raised some red flags for me and Chloe. Adam and Randy I didn't feel as comfortable to begin with, but in the past day or two Adam has really came around and proposed we work together. Thus CAT was born. It's maybe not something long term but I think I could have great allies in Chloe and Adam individually. Tonight's vote is probably the most uncomfortable yet. Nothing feels solid, everything feels very much in the air, even if I have a majority alliance. This game is a rollercoaster and tonight I'm teetering on the edge and I have that sinking feeling in my gut. All I can do is put blind faith in my people and hope for the best.

Milu 2.0...hmmm... Where do I begin? 🤔 So my feelings on the tribe are mixed. Adam, Tom and Chloe were all part of the previous joint tribal so I had already had conversations with all of them. It made it easier to socialize when the swap actually did happen. Tom seems like a cool cat, and I had approached him with the idea of him, Chloe and I grouping up. Chloe seemed more than okay with it, but Tom never talked to Chloe about it like he said he would. That raised some red flags for me and Chloe. Adam and Randy I didn't feel as comfortable to begin with, but in the past day or two Adam has really came around and proposed we work together. Thus CAT was born. It's maybe not something long term but I think I could have great allies in Chloe and Adam individually. Tonight's vote is probably the most uncomfortable yet. Nothing feels solid, everything feels very much in the air, even if I have a majority alliance. This game is a rollercoaster and tonight I'm teetering on the edge and I have that sinking feeling in my gut. All I can do is put blind faith in my people and hope for the best.

This confessional is for the Third cycle where the end result was 4-1 (Randy, Tom) Loosing this challenge as honestly a rally hard pill to swallow I was absolutely pissed if we’re being honest, pissed at the fact that the final product was my video that as supposed to get snipped and trimmed because I didn’t know legit anything about that song or even lii syncing. I think me competing and being the one that submitted helped me when it was time to vote somebody out because I was told by basically everyone that sending me home would have been a silly decision. I honestly think my only option was too got out Randy because I think I’m solid with everybody else individually where I was trying to force something with Randy. If we lose again things will honestly go from 0 to 100 real fast as I don’t think anybody knows if Tom and Chloe are actually tight or what the deal is there but that will one hunger percent come in to place. All in all very successful round for me in my opinion. I think I need to be careful not to build this huge target on my back but I’m staying focused and just plowing through

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week3/s-0kmTB

I’m doing wonderful! As far as this game is concerned, Jared and I are tighter than Ralphie May’s(RIP) pants. We know what each other is doing, and we communicate CONSTANTLY. Ian is tricky to get. He just says “Oh, okay” to everything, its as if he’s building up a wall to prevent me from having a social game, it’s highkey INFURIATING. I LOVE LILY, she’s an actual angel, and she’s a good player. I like Elmo alot, he’s definitely at a disadvantage due to his timezone. As far as everyone else, I’m getting closer to Asya as we’ve put our “beef” aside and we realized we’re friendly. Johnny and I have known each other for 3 years, he was the first person I knew in this community, he was the first person who hosted me and got me into this community, he’s going to always be like a brother to me.

________________________________________________________________

Cullan is removed from the game. Randy is voted out 4-1.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode #2: “yee yee can’t wait to DOM” - Anabel

a joint tribal!?!?!?! THIS IS JUST TOOOO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!! 

Tbh like I wanna win but I also don’t want to put in a lot of effort just for us to lose Bc I fully expect some other tribe to go try hard and I can’t see our sorry sack of losers being the best at any challenge much less one that requires effort

Okay so like anybody who thinks that this round is going to be anything near simple is absolutely oblivious to what game we are playing. This is going to be complete chaos. Whatever game plans you have come up with you can just toss out the window because I don’t think there is a single person that has any idea of what to aspect or even how the hell to handle this. Shot completely shot

I’m starting to get more and more annoyed with these people as time goes on. Are y’all aware this is for immunity and yalls games are on the fucking line? Because it definitely doesn’t look that way. NO EFFORT AT ALL BEING PUT INTO CHALLENGES. And the stakes are higher than fucking ever this round.

this fucking challenge is legitimately draining me bc i keep fucking up and i feel like joey and jared hate me lol.... i might jump out a window but we’ll see

it’s 1am, jared just told me he was proud of me and im legitimately SOBBING. this is the most exhausting challenge i have ever participated in.

So, we finished in second again. That is the good news. The bad news is, only one tribe wins immunity. So we’re at tribal with Haumea and Kanaloa. The question is, do we go with Haumea, and take away potential swing vote power from Kanaloa, or do we go with Kanaloa, and try to whittle another tribe down to 4? Decisions, decisions.

wow y’all i just called jared for like 45 minutes and he might be the kindest human on the planet ugh... im keeping him. he’s the new johnny. bye johnny helLO jared. and jared isn’t even straight!! so that’s another thing he has over johnny BESIDES being nicer than him (just kidding i love johnny so much johnny if ur reading this u will never be replaced)

can’t believe we won immmmm this is crazy i love this tribe and this game and that challenge yee yee can’t wait to DOM

So it looks like a 14 person joint tribal is coming like what the fuck! I'm excited though. This vote I can see being based off of activity. It's probably the safest move but I am saying that now, things can change later.

this joint tribal really got me fucked up. of COURSE we lose immunity. what a shocker. it’s not like ben fucked up two times in a row when we were so close to being in the 30s... if he would have never fucked up, we LITERALLY would have won. i’m so mad. but ugh. anyway. being at this joint tribal is a blessing and a curse. a blessing because i have 24 hours to kinda build other relationships outside of my tribe incase of a swap, while the other immune tribe is missing out on building relationships. a curse for the obvious.. i don’t wanna be voted off! yes, i have the idol, but i wanna just play like i don’t have it for now and i don’t wanna rely on that. i need to save that for the future. obviously, i have elmo’s back. even fucking bens back even tho he got me real mad. ian? he can go at anytime, i truly don’t give a fuck. he’s rude and disrespectful and i’m sick and tired of his slick ass remarks. adam? a non motherfucking factor. but i don’t want ian nor adam leaving in this tribal, just because i think i faked it so good and they actually think i like them. justin messaged me and i LOVE justin so i’m feeling good about that. taylor messaged me and he’s a king in training.. he could use a little more work. and johnny messaged me and he seems iconic. only red flag is.. he’s straight..! i know.. a big red flag. other then that, i have chloe on the other tribe and i talked to her a bit and i think we’re on a mutual understanding not to vote eachother out. so as of right now, it’s kinda just a wait and see who wants to thro the first name out, because i don’t. and to be completely honest, i don’t care who goes home. it’s to early to even throw a random name out and maybe have it come back and bite me in the ass. i really don’t care who it is. i’m willing to vote out absolutely anyone right now besides myself and elmo. so. we’re gonna have to sit and wait, but i’ll make sure it’s not me.

this is an interesting round bc i think logically in a normal situation a tribe with fewer numbers would be in the middle here but since the general vibe at least right now is that the blues (bar chloe and thomas i think?) are inactive so that tribe could end up being targeted

I think that there isnt rly a reason to make a big move at f19 in the game so i think most ppl will jump to whatever vote they hear first but at the same time usually u dont want to be the first one to throw a name out because ppl can pin the vote on u and make u a big threat etc i definitely need to talk to everyone on my tribe just to get their vibes i talked to zack and ben a lil and they both seem to agree that we should work with haumea

idk who will be the target but my prediction is either asya or dean honestly rn im just trying to be social with everyone bc if there is a change of plans or whatever then i dont want to be the one who will be paying the price

anyway im somewhat calm right now? i dont know if there is a plan already in the works without me but i highly doubt it also if there will be a plan that shouldn't involve me, im fairly certain that i would hear from it

What’s going on? Honestly idk. Not even sure who is on the other tribe and we aren’t far enough into the game for me to care too much (jk jk I care but also damn I don’t have time to get to know 5 more people). Luckily I already know and love Elmo. I’m really hoping I can sway him to vote for someone on his tribe instead of ours. But we will see. I don’t have much time today to play so I’m hoping I use the little time I have wisely.

So major Internet connection issues  forced me to unofficially sit out of the challenge. They carried over today and now I've barely spoken to anyone about tribal. I'm so out of the loop it's actually hilarious

Heading into what I believe will be a three tribe swap of 6 players each, I feel good. Not having to go to Tribal is making me a bit nervous tho, I need to get some blood on my hands in order to establish a place for myself in the game.

So first tribal for our tribe Haumea, and it's a joint tribal! Whoa! I've never been a part of a joint tribal, but I'm just trying to lay low and let everyone else decide what will happen. Of course socially I'm trying talk with everyone so I don't get targeted for NOT talking to people. It's also great for starting to build that foundation with some of the other players so when the eventual swap comes I can already have  connections. It's like using 2 -in-1 paint & primer🖌️ it's just more efficient, and time saving 😂 It seems that the consensus may fall on Dean from Kanaloa. I think it'd be a smarter move because it would anger the least amount of people. Leaving Kanaloa with only 3 members. But of course some things are never that easy, So i guess we'll see. Connections-wise I really like Elmo and Zacky, and would be interested to know more of and potentially work with Asya too. Johnny has definitely taken the leadership role of our tribe, which I'm completely okay o. Takes the pressure off of me and means I can just sit back, relax and enjoy the shield.

Oh god I feel so sick right now writing this. Being chucked into a tribal with like 12/13 other people most of whom I didn’t know was insane. Especially sort of feeling like I was on the bottom. All day people have been saying to me about Dean being inactive and I’ve been like ok cool I’ll vote him if that’s how it swings. And not it’s basically confirmed he’s the vote I feel sick that I have to turn my back on someone I’ve worked with the last couple rounds and who would told me he’d look out for me. But at the same time how can you look out for me if you’re never here and have put in very little effort to ensure that we didn’t end up in this position. I barely even had a proper chance to talk to the guy he’s been so inactive but I still feel like such a terrible person

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week2/s-seqAf

my tribe won immunity but we thought we lost it so that was funny

it allowed me to exercise my connections with people. it showed me that me and jared are close and that me and joey arent close! so im gonna go fix that if i can but hopefully we can win to the end

________________________________________________________________

Dean is voted out 11-1-1.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Episode #1: “To make a long mother fucking story short, i’m fucked.” - Zack

This game starts in four minutes.....

I have to pee, I want an idol and I'm about to have a mental breakdown

I feel attacked, Mark the Chicken wasn't the player represented for me in reveal 

-_-

This game has more crackheads in it than a Seattle alleyway.

________________________________________________________________

As the straightest male in this cast I feel like I need to share this beauty❤️ https://youtu.be/wyJdCFbqor4

________________________________________________________________

Randy and Bodhi haven’t done SHIT. It looks like me Jared and Anabel are gonna carry this tribe huh.

Chloe is one my tribe! <3! I'm finally in a game with Anabel again which is cool! Johnny is Alyssa bf so I recognized him immediately. I played with Cullan in tumblr Survivor: Kuwait (as it comes to mind Johnny hosted that), Elmo a legend I get to play with :) (I hope I interact with him). Ian I just met he's cool. God Dammit Peter Griffin (Adam) is in this game (I am not looking forward to when he learns I call him that).

________________________________________________________________

As I previously mentioned playing with Chloe again is lit! I'm talking to Asya right now and she seems cool. Dean is Australian I love me some Australians (insert heart eyes emoji). Who's Julia?

________________________________________________________________

What the fuck we already have a challenge! Shit's insane! We only just got here!

Night 1: Alright so I had a really late start to the party but that’s okay because I made sure that I spoke with everybody on my tribe, I honestly like my tribe.... for the most part and I say that because this cast is JUST so ICONIC and that makes me scared or more so intimidated. I’m hoping somehow that I can continue to bond with everybody on my tribe and be able to be in the in when tribal comes around or IF Tribal comes around.  So who is on my tribe?

Elmo!! He is somebody that I have seen around the Facebook community and more importantly I often see him being loved and people speaking highly about him and honestly I can’t blame them he is such a nice dude in the short little time that we were able to chat. I hope that at the last I will be able to speak with him more and maybe...? Try and figure out a way to work together but I don’t want to rush into things with him as idk how he plays just yet.

Zack! A very very familiar face someone that I have actually played with before! We were tribe mates in 703 MDaro and it’s fair to say that at one point we were actually working together but one event turned to another and next thing you know I’m on the jury 😂😂. I always enjoyed talking with Zack back then and I hope that we can pick up where we somewhat left off at least with the getting along part!

Ian! I’m just unsure as to what to say about him and say that because I have seen him around but I have also not heard much about him, I’m unsure if he is new to orgs or even just not that good placement wise?? But besides all that I want to get to know him so I will spend my time getting to know him just like Big Ben

Ben!! Who’s Ben?? No clue!!! I love that I don’t know who this is and I love meeting somebody without any pre-thoughts just based on seeing someone around. Will see what he’s about... This cast also has Anabel she’s a sweetie I played with her when I was first out in UK Bb but she was a friend

hiii!!!!!! omg im so glad that miss anna jane asked me to play this! she's been asking me every season but i just kept pushing it off because i have no idea how to use discord! but fuck it, i guess i'll learn! since the game just started, i guess i'll just do like a cast assessment? i don't know everyone in this game so it'll be only the people i actually know and my past experiences with them before i can actually talk to everyone else and make new experiences with everyone!

justin. i LOVE justin! i've never played a game with him, but i've seen him play. and i know he's an absolute crackhead but i also know how serious he takes the games he plays, since he doesn't play that many! we use to HATE each other but i actually consider justin one of my good online friends. we've known eachother for YEARS. this is gonna either be really good or a total fucking shit show for me.. i'll be looking out for him if we ever wind up on the same tribe/ merge together, ONLY if he will be doing the same. don't get it twisted... i'll snap his skinny ass breadstick legs in half if it's what has to be done. but i don't want that to happen so.....

asya. i personally don't even know asya. i just know we got into an argument a few weeks ago in a vl. but hopefully this doesn't effect her view on me and hopefully she doesn't even remember kJSFKGJSG....

julia. jesus CHRISSSSST.. i'm part of old school tumblr and i dipped from that bitch like 2 years ago so i'm hoping these 'tumblr' people don't remember me. all i remember about julia is that she's an actual WITCH and we've gotten into fights before. she's such a odd personality and we just don't mesh well together from what i remember. i have no interest in even talking to her honestly.

chloe. i LOVE chloe omggggggg. she's deff someone i know from other games and just from talking too. i have all the hope in the world that we'll wind up together soon and be able to work together. no bad words for her <3

randy. i gasped when i saw randy KLJDSGKLJSG... he's an absolute fucking mess but i live for it.. he's so funny and we have a past together. we've known each other for years, but never really been close, you know? hopefully this game can bring us closer together and we can wind up running shit, if it comes to that. fun fact: i met randy irl once so there's that...

bodhi. ugh i know i played a tumblr survivor season with him and i don't remember if we got along or not LKJHDSGKLJHG. i remember he is a complete mess tho... i actually just checked the tumblr wiki and the tumblr survivor game we played together was called "cutthroat" so.. this should be fun. also on his vote out, he voted for me. so i'm assuming we didn't get along. but if he wants to play cutthroat, we can surely do that! i winded up staying and he winded up leaving when he tried to vote me out so we can surely do a round 2 of that bitch.

jared. u g h! not 1 good experience i have with jared. he's dating nicole g and me and her have NEVER seen eye to eye. we would constantly fight and it would get so ugly. i've fought with jared and... it was just a mess.. i know this is gonna cause a problem for me and he's probably the one person i was least happy to see.... pray for me.

adam. played a facebook org with him and fought him in it and then contunued to fight with him in the reunion chat... ugh.

elmo. so happy i finally get to play with him! i've never even talked to him before but he's ALREADY my favorite person here!!!! i really hope we can run shit together thru this whole entire game... i have high hopes for us.

so there it is! to make a long mother fucking story short, i'm fucked.

currently looking back at the idol systems of other seasons and they've all gone up pretty fast, and i don't see much of a pattern. I might have to assume there's no idol system just yet.

Bonding with my tribe and trying to figure out what videos I’m doing. So far I like Elmo and Zach but the other 2 boys seem cool as well

there are no idols yet and im convulsing i NEED one

i have a 70% success rate in finding idols in survivor games and i need one i also have a 78% win percentage for tribal immunity challenges in main seasons of tumblr survivor, so cullan is high key about to tank my tribal winning DOMINANCE but i'll wait

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okay so yea like honestly,,,,,,,,, game starting wooo cool

i know a shit ton of people on other tribes which kinda scares me because there are two people on THIS tribe that i dont know a whole lot, but one of them definitely knows about a good amount of my prior connections as well.

justin watched me just play big brother pokemon and hopefully i can keep playing off that i played a very loyal game or somethin like that... what i DO know is that basically taylor, justin and i are the most active on my tribe, which is pretty darn cool considering the two other people on my tribe (cullan and lily) are people i know and have prior relationships with

im just getting nervous because going into a game with 4 tribes of 5, we're prob going to swap at 18, and if we lose one of those challenges, it just shoves us at a disadvantage because like...... the entire point of the premerge is to build relationships with enough people to get to the merge, and everyone has four other active people to get to know, and I really really REALLY wanted to win the first two immunities so we would be able to have a stronger game standpoint for ourselves going into a swap or whatnot, and just having more relationships overall, but with cullan not being around for the first 24 hours of the game really hurts him, and our entire tribe.... like if we lose, and he does nothing, he 100% has to get voted for, we have no choice in that matter, even thoguh i probably would've loved to work with him, i know he knows what he's doing, and he would probably be a scarier player down the road who would be utr, and my motto in survivor is always to just keep bigger louder personalities around, so if i consistently keep the social people, i can hopefully get to merge and ATTEMPT to hold that utr role, but i've gotta get to a swap first LMFAO

also like okay so here's the people i know

lily - darling love her never played with her but hosted once or twice, and she knows me and i know her. i love working with women so bring it on

asya - probably one of my five closest friends across all of orgs and we talk almost everyday and i know people are going to know about this because we don't really HIDE IT, and this is now our fourth game together in a year, two of which we worked very closely together, and i know justin knows im close to asya so ugh

jared - met irl three times.. very very very good friends, im also super duper close with nicole and jared and i have a lot in common, but weve played two orgs together and they've been literal disasters for us. while i think this one will be different, you never know

anabel - shes my fucking ANGEL i love her to death and she has a profile on the bbpokemon wiki saying that im her f2 and best friend, so love that?

joey2121 - lol i think him and i are pretty close. i know he values me as a friend and we talk pretty often, and he's never had the opportunity to play with me. i know he can be a little irrationally cutthroat, so im going to have to get a good read on him when we jump in and see how it goes, but i think he adores me and i casted him for his first game ever and cohosted with him his only time he's ever cohosted, so i'd like to think he would want to work with me, i just gotta pray

randy - host chat guested for me, good friend over the years, but we've never been able to REALLY talk, so i hope this does it for us

bodhi - never played with him either hardcore, but weve also been friends over the years so oop him and randy can be big wild cards on how they feel about me tbh

thomas, chloe, cullan - literally just hosted them ALL in an org, but i was kind of a loose host and i hope that makes them want to kinda work with me, but also have their options open when it comes to me idk? cullan is inact tho so he's gotta get his shit together

julia - this witch fucking scares me and i will do no harm to her and i hope that she doesnt hex me and we can be great friends for a long time :)

so YEA

I really want to try to have fun this season. I don't want to take it super seriously to the point where my nerves start getting to the best of me. I just played big brother pokemon, and honestly, i played without the fear of losing, and just went for the juggular to keep myself in the game, and i was never on edge at any point in that game, which i really love for my mental sanity. i know survivor just GETS TO YOU more than big brother does, but i wanna play a bit more care free and just go for some longevity, and play a strong, solid game and make some strong moves.

this is my first real confessional of the season. im very excited to be here and hopefully these long confessionals dont make me look foolish when im the fourth or fifth boot LMAO

if we win the challenge i wouldnt really EXPECT to hear more from me.

i do love my entire tribe, even though THEY dont know Cullan yet, I know that i do, and that's going to be a benefit to me. i've just gotta keep my social relationships up and really really hope that people don't wanna get rid of me until we swap, and then i can start being a little more aggressive with game talk and getting leverage that way?

P.S. Gosh i hope cullan logs on so we dont go to the first tribal bc that would fucking suck

Just made an alliance with Elmo and Zack bc we all think that we are losing and we are the only ones (so far) who have put any effort into the challenge. I'm ready to ride these fat cats as far as their train will take me. Adam did just say in the tribe chat that he's posting all of his at once so maybe he's gonna drop a bomb on us? who knows but I'm preparing myself for all the options.

things are going okay for me i think! I made a F2 deal with Zack yday and I'm rly happy I did bc I need a person I can be completely honest with. I am not sure if he trusts me as much as I do trust him but I hope that he would!!!

I also have the first alliance of the game with him and ben so thats good! I like them both a lot and they seem to put effort in challenges which is rly important right now! I think they are both trustworthy and at least would be here for short term game.

As for Adam and Ian, I like them both but I havent developed any game relationship with them yet, and thats ok. I dont think I should be overplaying right now because I could just be caught and that would be a whole new mess. I really don't want to sound cocky but I genuinely think that I'm in a fairly strong position on our tribe. Of course this is survivor and anything could change but so far so good. I am excited and hopefully I wont flop

Let the games begin, bitches!

So, the immunity challenge is almost over. Good time to start on this. I can honestly say that this has been the craziest first cycle of a season that I’ve ever been a part of. I started the weekend on Cape Cod, having to throw in the beginning of this, and now that the weekend is done and I’m back home, I feel things are righting a bit for me. As for my tribe, I like all four of them so far. I hope we don’t lose this challenge, because I’m getting along with them pretty well. Whew. What a life.

i miss johnny

Omg yesss!!!!!!! We won the first challenge, well technically we came in second but the point is WERE NOT GOING to tribal council, and tbh I would be pooping my pants if we did as I had the fewest amount of points for my tribe so I fear that I would have been perceived as that weakest link and would have been voted off. That might not be true but that was my thoughts. I feel like I have connected really well with Elmo and I kind of get the vibe that he is connected with everyone on the tribe and that is why I think it’s crucial for me to connect with Ian and Zack which I feel like with Ian it’s hard because I don’t know how much he really wants to talk to people but with Zack it just clicks but I feel like on a game level the first Tribal is what will connect us further. Ben is someone that I like but I feel is being hesistant to connect? Ugh oh well goodbye for now I gotta get ready to go hunting for an idol

Such an unexpected surprise to get 1st place in the challenge. In the past I’ve gone all our for selfie challenges, but I don’t really want to be perceived as a threat early on. I was happy I found a star fish last minute! I’m so happy that Johnny is on my tribe. I’m thinking I can count on him until at least merge/jury but he has hosted me before and I know it could quickly go bad. So I’ll have to be cautious. I also really like Taylor and Justin. I can tell they really care about the game and we could be really good allies. Cullen getting a strike and literally never messaging any of us def makes me nervous but hoping he signs on in the next two days so we can count on him to participate in the next challenge. So far I’m having a lot of fun getting to know my tribe mates and hoping for a successful season #positiveoutlook #mistake

So we lost immunity! I couldn't give my 100% in the challenge and I explained to my team why. They seemed understanding. Julia, however, didn't submit anything so I am lucky, because everyone wants to vote her out. I will do the same, since I have not spoken to her yet.

Here we go! New ORG...new me? So this is my 2nd Survivor ORG following EMV 8, and I want to take a different approach this time around. A more social, less strategic game. First impression on this game was OMG! 4 tribes of 5, vote me off now! As I mentioned above I want to emphasize my social game, because I think it may be my weakest area in my gameplay, so the small tribe terrifies me because there may not be much time to build genuine bonds, and there's definitely no room for error. So we're only a couple days into this game and I think I've made good efforts so far. I've made conversation and mutual connections with Johnny, Justin and Lily. It's unfortunate Cullan has been unable to join us because it limits my possibilities with who I choose to move forward with. It's hard to tell who I think I can work with moving forward. I connected with Johnny first, but I think Lily would be a great partner. I'm so glad that we ended up not only avoiding elimination but also winning the challenge. I was deathly afraid we'd be headed to tribal council. Since our tribe is immune, there's no need to talk strategy just yet, though it's obvious the elephant in the room is Cullan and would be an easy vote off for our tribe if we ended up losing a challenge. I'm going to continue to build relationships with every tribe mate in hopes they will each see me as their strongest ally. I'm not going to make final 2's, I'm not going to suggest alliances, I want to allow my tribe mates the time to approach me first. It's time to step out of the driver seat and move to the back; allowing myself to be vulnerable. Think of it this way, if Haumea is representative of fertility, this is my rebirth.

HI. okay honesty, i don’t even know where to start so just bare with me bc this is gonna be a hot ass mess.

okay so. me and elmo have really been clicking it off. as soon as we saw each other we just instantly connected. we’ve never had a conversation prior to this game, but idk.. something just really connected us! he’s very honest with me and tells me how he is feeling about the other people so i feel like he really trust me because he gets straight to the point and tells me how he’s feeling game wise. we made a final 2 and i plan on sticking to that, for now at least. i really do see us dominating this game and i would surely not be upset if that happens!

now. i’m in a three person alliance. me elmo and ben. for this challenge us 3 seemed to be doing all the work so we all have a mutual respect to stick together while we’re on this tribe at least. i don’t really have any reaaaal loyalty with ben, this alliance is to just keep me and elmo safe on this tribe just incase we go to tribal. ben won’t be knowing any tea from me tho.

we won immunity and thank GOD because even though i feel safe, you just never know! and it’s very stressful and i’m glad i’m not gonna be the first boot.

the idol system got revealed and me and elmo instantly pmd each other saying that we’re gonna share our spots and shit with each other and try to get everyone else’s spots too just so we can kinda guarantee we or we know who would wind up with the idol.

so... idol search starts at 10pm and by 10:05 i.. found.. the.. IDOL! I FOUND THE FUCKING IDOL IN 5 MINUTES. MY FIRST GUESS AND I GUESSED THE IDOL! i was GAGGED!

now. since me and elmo where gonna share spots, i felt like i needed to tell him only because this was my first guess and i didn’t know what to make up to act like i didn’t find it... like i didn’t know how to word it because it’s so odd and i didn’t wanna be like “my guess said ‘oops wrong hole try again’” so i figured it be best for my game to just tell him so i don’t get caught in a lie. i honestly didn’t wanna tell him but i just felt like i needed to because, again, it was my first guess and idk what y’all would have said if i didn’t find the idol, so i didn’t wanna get caught in a lie.

i told elmo this isn’t just my idol, it’s our idol. is that true? no... it’s mine. and i’m stingy. BUT i hope this really shows him that he can trust me and i hope this doesn’t backfire and bite me in the ass. i just wish i could have kept it a secret, but i didn’t wanna get caught in a lie on my first guess and then him find out and think i’m a snake or some shit.

but who knows, if he really is gonna be a loyal ass ally, and it comes to the point where i might have to use it in him, i will surely think about it. but it’s still to early to even THINK about using it, because i want this idol for merge. i don’t wanna rely on this idol and i don’t want it to go to my bead and make me power hungry. i need to be very strategic about it and kinda just forget that i even have it until further notice. im here to play a game that i can say i’m proud of at the end of all this. win or lose, i wanna be proud of the game i played. i’m gonna fight so hard this season and be a fucking raging gamer.

xoxo, zack.

i’m hungover and sad. like i knew we were gonna lose but like. what a mess. julia, my good sis, i love you but i’m gonna have enough challenges in this game without you getting strikes round 1.

positives are as follows: -easy first vote

that’s all folks !

but really i think my goal for this game is just to find an idol bc i haven’t before. i’m pretty much always at the mercy of other people and i just. really am not in the mood for that shit here so hosts rig me an idol pls <3

WHO THE FUCK GETS A STRIKE ON THE FIRST CHALLENGE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH JULIA PLAYIN AT? AT LEAST SHOW U WANNA PLAY THE GODDAMN GAME

Well, I’d call the challenge a success for us. We came in 2nd place in the challenge, so we’re all spared. Things are kinda quiet right now, which I like. Probably might not be the case for Kanaloa, but hey, what do I know?

i need to slap myself on the wrists and learn how to play dead more often LMAO

hi so wooooooo we're back at it, and I guess I'm going to just rank my tribe mates to see postgame how much this changed and how stupid i was for ranking people the way i did

1. Justin - so he already acknowledged to me that he talked to me the most and that we were the two most active tribemates, and im hoping that i can lock something official down with him in the middle of next round that is more game relationship oriented opposed to just just spitting nonsense into each other's PMs currently lol

2. Lily - I really really think she's going to want to work with me in this game, and we have a prior relationship which is cool, and I want to use that to my advantage a SMIDGE, but I know she's pretty honest and loyal, and I just don't see her doing anything to me until merge???

3. Cullan - this bottom two is tough, and cullan is probably at the bottom for everyone on the tribe except for me. now that he's active, I need to keep that little nugget around for my own sake. I just hosted him and got to know him decently well, and I know he's loyal to his people, and if I know that for 99.99% certainty compared to some of these people i barely know at all, im going to try to use that. While I'd expect Cullan to be the first boot on our tribe if we lose, I fully expect him and I to work REALLY well together if we make it out of this tribe AND he was forward about sharing idol information with me immediately, so that's good

4. Taylor - I really really really want to work with him, but i haven't gotten much from him so far, and it's not even that i want him out, he's just at the bottom of three really strong relationships I already have. He was also on vacation and I've yet to find out more about his day to day life, so I hope that I can work more about that so i can develop reasons in my own head as to why he's not around as much, but i also know this is his third org, and i can tell he knows how to talk to people, i just want to talk to him MORE and i hope this next challenge brings us together as a team somehow?

so yea. we safe. i honestly do think this tribe is kickass in challenges, and i think that we can make it to a swap without losing any, so here's to hoping? LMFAO

johnny go bye bye now until next round heehee

praying for asya to stay and dean to go for tonight's tribal? yea. sounds like a plan

im also still really paranoid and nervous about people analyzing my past relationships (i.e. JUSTIN) but we'll see. i can tell he knows what he's doing in games and literally all i have to hope is that im already in his plans, because if not, i can foresee myself being in trouble?

hello so

i joined the game and im happy im on a tribe of 5 because its easier to manage people.

i am good with everybody except for joey. i have an alliance with jared and bodhi which is amazing!

anabel is who i love the most! so fucking funny JFJSJSJ. so yeah if we ever go to tribal itll be joey going if i have a say 🙈

Hi. So I’ve started the game later than everyone else as I’ve had a rough couple of days but I am sure kicking harder than anyone else. As soon as I woke up in this beach I started searching for the idol. I couldn’t get it because I’m to poor to afford a private jet so I have to wait until tomorrow to climb the mountain. I had a very deep conversation with I believe his name is Justin. I’m gonna call him Jus. We talked about my life ambitions and endeavors and we shared some of our most deepest and darkest secrets. He told me that his Zorua is diagnosed with Pokerus. I honestly home it gets the help it needs. I’m sure the doctors on Hawaii are good doctors. Hopefully they aren’t fucking witch doctors. In return I told him about how I raised a manaphy ever since it was an egg. I’ve had a pretty good day on the beach. My slow start isn’t gonna make me lose this race. All I gotta do is find my blue shell and I’ll get back in first. Cullan signing out

HI I MADE  A NEW SOUND CLOUD TO SHOW YOU MY THOUGHTS IN AUDIO SOUND FORM https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week1/s-4k3oW

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Julia is voted out 5-0.

#episode #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Extra Extra!

Alliances

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Edgic

I will edit the edgic into this post when Matt gets home to send it over!

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Idol System

Click HERE to see the pre-merge idol system. All idols were found in the same spot.

#announcement #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Season Awards!

Let’s start with...

Fan Favorite

Fan favorite comes to no surprise to me, he’s my favorite in general and easily one of the most entertaining people to watch play survivor. He kept the VL entertained with his heartfelt messages throughout the season. He’s our winner, Elmo!

And our runner up fan favorite is Chloe!

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Runner Up Player of the Season

matt to insert paragraph about why bodhi rocks when he gets home

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Player of the Season

matt to insert paragraph about why jared rocks when he gets home

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Congratulations to everyone!

#announcement #sailaway

[survivorwakea]

Winner Reveal

Watch winner reveal take place below:

Elmo wins in a 4-4-1 vote, Chloe broke the tie on Elmo.

Elmo rode the success of strong tribes premerge, only attending 1 tribal before the merge. There he quickly found himself in the minority after the first few tribals, but his strong relationships and openness to the majority allowed him to stay untargeted as his allies were picked off. He was able to find two idols but he never truly needed them, as he never received the majority of votes at any tribal even when he played them. He was able to clinch the final immunity challenge, securing his spot in FTC where he eked out a win thanks in part to his close relationship with Chloe, who broke the tie in his favor.

#announcement #sailaway