sw3etcreatur

[sw3etcreatur]

maybe i'll starting bujo - ing

#getting ready for grocery run #maybe ill get hair dye too #letme trim my hair #also wanna grow it out idk #frik

[sw3etcreatur]

IGHT the irl meet mashup panic 3rd wheel hangout that was supposed to be a cute date n make out thing a story for me to read 03.27.22

first off all this dude was supposed to go to work but called off cuz he was feeling sick ANYWAY

friend R didn’t confirm w me he wanted to hang till i was already on campus (and an hour before too lyke), but hm partly my fault for agreeing and leading that it would be fine to hang that day on short notice

okay fast track to earlier mans says r u down i say ya im down blah blah then he sends a spotify link and says he has tix to see this artist next week but silly me didn't click the link or look up if the artist was act touring and said coo nice dood will listen to it later! anyway proceeds to tell me he's on his way cue me excited nervous blushing looking forward to it (in an hour ish also i was so hungry, shouldve ate lunch to avoid this coming MESS)

anyway SILLY ME AGAIN i had made plans w another friend S for later lunch/early dinner food and instead of cancelling on one or the other, i keep both hang outs. mind you these r two completely different people. i tell S that i was meeting with R also but forgot to tell R that S was gonna be hanging with us, at least for food. my b

friend gets here, im sitting with a diff friend J and introduce them and they bond over the alchemist since J was reading that okay then S gets here a little later im like omg s <3_<3 and we tell J byeeee time for food

now, friend said he already ate so i assumed he wouldn't eat so i would buy him a drink or something bc i was fs gonna eat i was hungryyy but no this man gets food anyway and enjoys his bowl and im like oh? bc also i knew he probs didnt want to spend money? he mentioned that a couple days ago about saving i was like yeah valid totally b i'm like that too blah blah he gets up at some point to throw his trash away and s asks if we're dating im like babes we just met for the first time in person today after texting/facetiming for a week hahaah B HE ALSO SAYS I HAVE H03S, u r my ho likeeeee

OKAY ANYWAY,.. this is where my biggest mistake was made (maybe)... i ask S what her plans are after food and she says nothing im like oop i look at friend and i'm like idek we have no plans either but im dumb i think we had a d*te and i stupidly go like oh! movies? and then i'm like okay fryft to my place even frikin though i specifically told friend he would not be seeing my apartment day 1 of meet up im so dumb yall 1. i should've told S bye see u next week, 2. that's it i should told her bye but .... bro i panicked i just didnt know how to tell s no i wanna be alone with a boy ugh i cant say no to ppl and deep down i've been wanting to hang w s for minute now

we go back to my place, give them a tour blah blah kinda awkward grrrr im a terrible hostess blah blah yay arrived to my bland apartment <3 friend has not really said a word <3 i feel awful but i didnt know why just yet*

we watch some amazon prime then peaky blinders and not even half way friend is like oki gtg dont wanna get home too late (he seems annoyed lmaoooo) and i walk him down to the train station (s asked if i wanted her to come and walk him down but i was like nah we're cool) anyway walking down im like soooo what'd u wanna know he says well it's too late and in my head im like ? how is it too late anyway fool misses his train he timed it wrong but i walk him over anyway and i think i would've stayed with him till the next train got there but i foolishly left my phone back in my apartment im so DUMB moral of the story our d8 turned into a really awkward 3 person hang out but more awk for him then me and s since we're friends oh also i introduced him to 2 more of my roomies and i feel awful lmao he said he had social anxiety which i should've taken more seriously

fast forward again hanging w S rest of the night ahhhh after friend leaves then shots with roomies after S leaves and boom it's 2 am and i decide to text friend hoping he got home okay THEN I CLICK THE SPOTIFY LINK HE SENT EARLIER THAT DAY b it was .... b this man must've been soooo disappointed LMAO but what were u doing having expectations cmon (cmon by 1d) ugh but he's soooo beautiful

*anyway why i feel awful: he's a brown man, S is a white woman i feel like maybe he thought i didnt trust him and needed a white savior to protect me which isnt true at all? i felt no threat from him, super easy going, we were in public the sun was out everything was fine! i wanted to be alone w him and walk around and talk :( i feel really bad about having S there the whole frickin time im soooo frickinnn pissed ahahaa we watched white chicks LOL anyway he said probably doesnt wanna meet again im like valid sure of course today was .... but i still wanna see him ... but i shouldnt .... we unfollwed eachother n everything soooo basically spirits said no :(

the end until next time maybe this summer #btr adventures lmao iykyk < 3

post remarks of things i know:

you have asthma , mom's a tr*mpie yet somehow got vaccine, dad projected his dreams onto u of wanting you to be a doctor or something but hey artist (which i love so much like wowwwwoowowowow)

nvm i do get attached to people i say i dont but i do its been two days im still thinking about this also here i am writing a 1000 word essay about a DAy and he's prolly like i j wanted some **** lmao boys r dumb h*ate m*n but again god he's gorgeous but i deserve the best <3 whatever tht may be <3

#quesrions for u what did u think would happen #thoughts on friend #and roomies #when did u decide yea im not stepping foot here agin #have u seen a star is born #hows ur 6 pack #girls dont care b

[sw3etcreatur]

Source

#room inspo #yall #im so excited for my own rm next year #ummmmmmm pray for me #kinda wanna have ir over #maybe not #he thinks im annoyin fr fr #or weird #im just too powerful idc idc #drunk text maybe

[sw3etcreatur]

reminder to post what happened vs what i wished happened hahahaahah first hinge meet up but wasn’t a d8 in my head

[sw3etcreatur]

03/19/22 la 12:22 pst

things to ask d8 hang out

fave color? - black doesn’t count

indoors or outdoors?

last movie u saw

pet?

drink?

Dream job?

meanest person you’ve met / don’t like

d00d ur hot but sex isn’t happening anytime soon by soon i mean today aha ha

I’ll take u to the roof unless you really wanna meet my roomies I mean they know I’m here duh

kisses sure sure ;) ass grabbing sure sure

[sw3etcreatur]

todays trip

by 9:55 had probs finished Pineapple Express which I started around 8:22 (1/2 rum 1/2 tequila = 1 shot?)

by 10:33 had finished margarita (1 rum) which I started around 10:15 or a little before

total: 2

Idek when we got to Jenny’s but we sang happy bday with cheesecake in hand and my party cup :) then had to pee so we went up stairs and gen gave Smirnoff raspberry (1) shot …. Tasted better than from chickens…. Then like 1/5 of Italy’s dark liquor it was sweet but I knew not to have any more than tht don’t mix diff liquors

Total: 3.2

No more drinks after that really we danced n chilled outside w paola and Joelle and aj and candy then tried jungle juice and margarita Idek it was a lil and then I think another Smirnoff raspberry shot with Andy and others downstairs

total: 4.5-5

relaxed after stayed w Joelle upstairs in ajs room me n paola sang encanto songs and then left around 1:30? :p

total time: 5 hrs

def followed alcohol edu rec of 1 drink an hour :)

morning: headache but feels like caffeine withdrawal 😡 will drink more water, did not have enough!

end: 01.30.22 | 07:53 AM PST

#story #literally just a random drop #let me start tracking these #roman said I was more chatty #totally thought I was the same but just acting

[sw3etcreatur]

just deselect a class bc mental health matters 🤍

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concept: walking around your own apartment in nothing but shorts and a lacey bralette, drinking coffe, a face mask on.

#my dream

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#i wanna

[sw3etcreatur]

melanie martinez acl festival portraits, 2016

#mel #💖💖💖

[sw3etcreatur]

My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice, then destroy them.

Laurell K. Hamilton, A Stroke of Midnight (via wordsnquotes)