swedehole

[swedehole]

[swedehole]

Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

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turn up that fucking hurdy gurdy

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Annalaura_art

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the self care industry will sell you face masks and teas and whatnot so i'm here to remind you not to forget the most important self care activity which is masturbation

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getting escorted out of a gun show for rating them based on mouth feel

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The whole “keep reaching out your hand” shit coming from Amren pisses me off.

Why are you saying that when you gave up on Nesta the moment you realized you couldn’t control her?? Amren was literally the only person Nesta talked to, she was her only friend. I’m tired of the whole Nesta “pushed” everyone away, nah Amren was there, it’s mentioned Nesta visited her every few days to play games together. And then Amren called Nesta a “pathetic waste of life” and left. Their friendship could’ve been a great start to Nesta’s healing journey. If the visits to Amren’s apartment had not stopped, it would have helped Nesta to have a friend she could talk to. A friend who could distract her from her unhealthy coping mechanisms. Maybe convince her to work at the library because she loves books. Or to take dance classes.

Amren went from telling Feyre to give Nesta space, and saying she likes Nesta therefore won’t gossip about her state- to suggesting Nesta should be thrown in the fucking dungeons. How fucking cruel is that?? Voting for Nesta to not know about her own weapons? When Amren says in a court of frost and starlight she won’t talk about Nesta? Agreeing to lock Nesta in the house of wind when Amren told Feyre “no one likes to go to the house of wind.” ??

And Nesta is the one who apologizes? What the fuck?

Keep reaching out your hand my ass

More like keep pushing her until she submits

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Its good that i have a blog now cuz I used to write all this bullshit down physically in a diary and my mom found mine and read it when i was 15 and i got in so much trouble cuz i drew goku with a boner so foreboding frightening it cleaved his jorts clean in half down the crotch seam and she threw it in a dumpster but then i crawled inside and retrieved it in the dark of night to preserve the archives of my mind but I lost it the very next day cuz i dropped it into the wave pool at Wild Wild n Wet (waterpark). Nowadays relying on digital spaces we have no guarantee of our eras information being preserved for futture generations tho and as the lights go out The silence will be suffocating and we will all be boner goku at the bottom of the wave pool at Wild Wild and Wet lowkey so u might as well start an nsfw twitter with ur government name and credit card info in bio tbh

[swedehole]

Elf cooking show: First person helmetcam of a an elf hunting and killing a deer with their bare hands. They sing a lullabye to the deer before they snap it's neck and prepare a side salad.

Dwarf cooking show: America's Test Kitchen but even more rigorous. 20 minutes of discussing how to maintain precise heat just to boil water.

Halfling cooking show: Great British Bake Off with soap-opera levels of internal drama. Everyone is stoned off their ass.

Orc cooking show: Edible mythbusters. The contestants must make bbq with a live dragon. People straight up die sometimes.

Goblin cooking show: Goblins don't really understand the concept of restaurants, but they have a show like Diners Dive ins and Dives for rooting through people's trash.

[swedehole]

i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

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you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.

[swedehole]

Sometimes you eat the edibles, sometimes the edibles eat you

#jazz cabbage #devil's lettuce #silly goofy time

[swedehole]

You're just a mammal. Let yourself act like it. Your brain needs enrichment. Your body needs rest. You feel hunger and grow hair. You need to pack bond with other sentient things so you don't become unsocialized and neurotic. You are biologically inclined to seek dopamine and become sick when chronically stressed. "Hedonism" is made up to place moral value on taking pleasure in sensory experiences. I am telling you that if you don't let yourself be a fucking mammal, as you were made, you will suffer and go insane. No grindset no diets no trying to be above your drive for connection. Pursue what makes you feel good and practice radial rejection of the constructs meant to turn you into a machine. You're a mammal.

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I have this disease where I moan out loud when I see hot pictures of Jere Pöyhönen, yeah there's no cure for it 😔

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It’s either be yourself or pee yourself dude

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My greatest tragedy is that I literally always want a nap, right up until ten pm, when I feel utterly alive and electrified.

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president biden's inattention... his absent-mindedness.. it's clear what we're looking at. he's a wizard engaged in a ferocious psychic battle with demons on battleplanes beyond our ken. whoosh. he's casting spells