#//i have my parents but theyre going to financial hardships too so they cant help and my sisters cant help cuz older sis started a family

[ask-mrxmts]

//uhHh gunna go on a small hiatus due to not having internet+other (ill expln in the tags c/tw vent/rambling)

#// i owe like 300+ for my internet ($200+ to reactivate) reason i havent been able to pay it was due to paying rent/bills/groceries/gas #and medication(for my partner) and weve applied to a better job but we need funds to pay for the livescan to continue/finalize the hiring #process but sadly we wont be able to pay rent this month due to some circum's sothats sm ;u; #and aside from all that both of us going thru heavy depression and mental fog #we want to hang out w irl friends but feel like we cant cuz were always broke (our friends still live w their parents/have a safety net) an #we feellike a buzz kill cuz we cant pay for our own meals or afford to go out in general just feeling left out causing us to be depressed #and not wanting to go out/be invited out #we had one friend lecture us abt money when its like dude you&gf pay $200 in rent to ur parents; we live together(w my retired/disabled MIL #and we pay rent household bills groceries gas car stuff medication we get paid bi weekly so like first/ending monthweek checks are for rent #and the mid week check we have to save accordingly for rent but were cured w the pharaohs curse cuz whenever #we have money that we plan to get alil smth for ourselves something goes wrong w the car #like we cant do shit and honestly it feels like someones praying on our downfall or smth cuz its every fkn time we cant catch a break #so yeaa gunna go on hiatus dunno how long tho but wont be too long but i will still be drawing so maybe expect some art dumps #ily guys thank you for putting up w me i dont ghost on purpose im just always depressed and need to be distracted or else the urges comebac #trying to be okay but its hard but i need to grow up #//i have my parents but theyre going to financial hardships too so they cant help and my sisters cant help cuz older sis started a family #amd my twin sis lives w my parents #my mom started working but hadda stop due to having a grapefruit sized tumor on her ovary (which is the other main reason4 my depression #and dad could care less abt my moms condtion (hes the reason for her suffering but ahe refuses to leave him #vent post #sorry went off on a tangent #but istg if i lose my mom im going to fkn hurt him cuz i already lost my dad (my FIL) and i will not be able to mentally recover #like i was there when we got the phone call (couldnt be at the hosptial due to covid reg.) i dont ever want to go thru that heartache again #edit if youd like to help me out i have comms open and i have a cshpp if ur feeling generous ;; $altereghost