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margsld · 7 years

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Outlander Epi 3.03 Recap

All Debts Paid like a good, Red-Coated Lannister should.

As always we salute the writer of each episode. This magical one is written by the legendary Exec Producer, Photographer, Location Scout and super fan - Matthew B Roberts. *raises glass

Boston, 1956. Claire and Frank really should have learned not to have breakfast together by now. Sure Frank is the cook this time and damn, I can almost smell that bacon-grease fried bread but all this white fashion and happy conversation is giving me indigestion. Far from book Frank, TV Frank is a cheater! GASP But he’s discreet. Oh, that makes it better then...NOT.

Meanwhile in Sunny Northern Scotland, it’s 1755 at Ardsmuir Prison. Harry Quarry aka Old Geezer, is giving a dashing Lord John Grey (SWOON & SQUEE for Oz actor David Berry) the 10 schilling tour of his new Govenor-ing responsibilities. Whisky is the only hightlight of being banished to the Northern-most post. Slainte! Short of hanging Lord John, this is hell itself especially since Kilts were banished post-Culloden. Goodbye knee-porn. *reaches for a tissue

They arrive in Ardsmuir’s happy place, the yard bursting with grinning prisoners, leaping about in the sunshine. Or not. Old Geezer points out the fully clothed (drats) Red Jamie aka Hooligan of the Highlands, who has plagued Lord John’s conscience since their last meeting. Lord John is too swoony to speak. There he was, standing right there in the shadows of the yard looking like the artful Dodger himself. Any shiftier looking and he’d swing out an arm, only for a ladder of fake Rolex’s to appear for a fiver each.

Harry tells Lord John that he had supper with Mr Fraser, aka Mac Dubh weekly because who wouldn’t, ye fool. Also, the other prisoners saw him as their leader and it kept the prison pleasant. That and 400 juicy rats. Mac Dubh was not to be trusted though and was trussed up like a xmas ham in chains. Lord John declares he’ll not dine with that....I think he’s going to say ‘Spunk Rat’ here but then realises Harry would hear him and it could get awkward. Instead, he ops for ‘Prisoner’ and we carry on.

When it’s time to clinker back to his luxurious cell, Jamie tinkles like xmas bell until he finds a little perch. A nasty cough is heard from behind him and then a familiar voice asks if he’s met the new governer? For the love of all things grumpy, it’s Murtagh! Hooray! He’s forgotten to brush his teeth since Claire left and rats are eating him alive but more concerning to Dr Jamie is his cough.

Forget where Murtagh’s been for the last umpteen years, we want to hear all about the new fella.... Jamie says he’s young, scairce more‘n a bairn which translates to.... well.... young. Prison obviously makes you a bit gay because Jamie then notes his carriage *cough, his square shoulders then talks about his arse. No wait, he has a ramrod up his arse. This translates to 'educated and posh'.

Jamie is invited to chat with Lord John in his quarters, as Hazza Quazza suggested. A rat crawls out of the dark and Lord John is mortified. He demands a cat chase the fat rat until it’s splat. No time for Dr Zeuss Jamie says, the cats would stop the gourmet cooking classes in the cells. Then what would bored prisoners do?

Claire has finally graduated from Medical school and has a party at the house. Bree is taking photos to mark the occasion and neglects to put herself in a picture. Good parenting. Frank is eager for them all to leave for their dinner reservations. Not suspicious at all, Frank. Wasn’t he M16? Oopsey, Claire finds a pretty blonde lady on the doorstep. Double oopsey, Frank didn’t mean to have his mistress turn up early. So busted. Claire decides its suddenly quite normal to go to reservations an hour early and clears the party goers out toot-sweet while Frank and little Miss Early-pants stand aside pretending they are decorative palms. Oh Frank.

The hills are alive with the sound of a ranting madman in Scotland. Red coats find a hobo wandering near the coast and take him into custody. Duncan Kerr rants about Gold and curses so of course the Red coats get excited. Lord John, smelling his golden ticket back to civilisation, hurries to Jamie to make a deal. He’ll lose the Emo jewellery if he translates the madman’s Gailidgh and French ramblings. It's a deal.

Frank comes home from his hot date with Candy, errh, Mandy or is it Sandy and Claire is waiting for him. He’s visibly drunk and she’s visibly ready to insert his British-issue ramrod! Claire accuses him of humiliating her in front of her colleagues. Frank slurs ditto and that her face is like glass; no one at his work believes in their sham marriage anyway. Claire gets snippy about his girlfriend and Frank says Sandy is no harlot, she has a PHD in linguistics. Who saw that coming? PS I want that bar! He poors another drink because we all know you win arguments when you are drunker! She asks if they’ve done the horizontal tango in their bedroom and Frank lashes back with a stinging “I think our bedroom is too crowded already”. Ouch Claire. That’s a fine serving of karma pie you’ve just choked on.

It’s cheery days over at Ardsmuir resort too. Jamie is trying to work out what the near-dead Duncan is raving about. He is very interested when Duncan mentions the McKenzie, Ellen marrying silkies and a White Witch. I fear he’s stumbled across some cocaine hustler but he insists that the Gold is cursed and the white witch will come for Jamie. Spooked af. Jamie tells the eavesdropping Lord John that Duncan was not making much sense. John smells a rat and this time its a big red, unshaven Scottish rat not telling the truth. He threatens to get it out of Jamie but Jamie just snorts. Umm been there, done that, bought the Black Jack Tshirt already, Lord John.

Bree turns 16 and it’s evident Claire and Frank are no longer on the same page.

Murtagh is getting more Dr Jamie medicine. Does anyone else think perhaps it’s Jamie’s healing skills causing them all to be sick in the first place? Murtagh is curious about Duncan Kerr’s news and when he hears of the story including a White Witch, he launches into some purvey memory about Claire and how often he thinks of her. It’s kinda creepy but hey, prison. What is in that tea, Jamie?

Lord John summons Jamie for supper. Jamie decides that’s a great time to suggest the Governor let the men roam the moors and set traps so they can catch their own meat, since the British are too stingy. At first Lord John thinks he’s pulling his leg but then Jamie explains it's another rat under the table. The prisoners can set their traps while out Peat collecting. Oh well that’s alright then! They have supper together and Lord John explains the lack of intelligence of a pheasant but it’s good with red wine sauce. Jamie takes a bite and instantly has a foodgasm.

Later, back at story time in his cell, Fraser decides sweet-talking the cellmates to sleep with his tales of buttery rolls, is a kindness. He's gone saft in the heid. If it was me sharing a cell and missing the good food, I’d tear him limb from limb. Or lick him. A lot.

Lord John now surely needs anxiety medication, after Jamie jumps him while out taking a leak beyond the prison walls. Jamie had escaped from the Peat Gang a few days earlier and now had returned. Jamie confronts Lord John about their history and tries to insight him to kill him as he promised the first time they met. John refuses to kill an unarmed man and they share a look. It's love blossoming.

They wander the nearby field shooting the breeze, as you do. John listens carefully as Jamie reveals why he had to go see if Claire was the white witch, Duncan was raving about. And of the gold? Jamie says he found an empty box with one jewel remaining and hands Lord John a perfectly cut sapphire. They are now BFFs.

Quick bounce back to Bree graduating in 1966 from high school. Claire chooses to wear white again. I’m sensing a pattern here.

In Ardsmuir, Lord John refuses to deny his fave prisoner’s requests. Who can say no to that big red lion. Lord John gets Murtagh a proper doctor. Jamie can stop collecting Watercress now and Murtagh is vera grateful.

Jamie is playing chess with Lord John and they bond over wicked moves and their lost loves. John confesses to losing his boyfiend at Culloden and Jamie tells John that his wife was called something starting with C. Umm, yeah, that’s it Claire. She loved festering boils like no other. John is impressed and jealous all at once. More reminiscing ensues about their first meeting.... “If you found a 16 year old shitting himself a worthy opponent Mr Fraser, then it’s no wonder the highland army was defeated”. Nah, it was the stupid bravery that impressed him mostly. Is John blushing? They bond like super glue to a shoe and things are going rosy. They talk of that fun time he thought they were raping Claire too - oh the scallywags.

Things get melancholy because alcohol. These two girls can’t handle their plonk and Lord John goes in for a raunchy hand caress. Jamie suddenly realises he’s on the menu and tells John to take his hand off him or he’ll replace his ramrod with his sword. John realises he’s just made a mammoth mistake and things are more tense than a rat in a prison cell before lunch time. Jamie leaves in disgust and Lord John sheds a tear, for he needed new pants again. *squelch

Frank tells Claire he wants to move to England and take Bree now that she’s 18. She could go to Oxford while he works at Cambridge and Sandy, Mandy & Candy can come be his proper wife/wives. Claire tells him no frikkin way. Bree is hers and he can’t take her. He reminds Claire that every time she looks at Bree she sees Jamie and he just wants to live with a wife who loves him. Fair point. Insert shit storm and tears here. He storms off out the door with his keys just as the phone rings. Claire is called to the hospital for surgery.

Ardsmuir is closing as it’s too comfy now for prisoners and the next garrison want to move in. They insist they have a better recipe for Rat stew. Jamie is pulled out of a line up away from Murtagh and is told he is being moved elsewhere. The others will be indentured and sent to the colonies (America). It’s a hideous moment where we are all waiting for Jamie to start struggling and shouting and trying to get back to Murtagh before they are separated by a whole ocean but it doesn’t happen. They can only exchange manly looks. Snow is falling as Jamie is tied to Lord John on a horse and is forced to walk for days. There is little chit chat during their journey. Lord John says they’ll have to talk eventually. Jamie is still sulking about Murtagh but Lord John says they'll only be slaves for 14 years. No biggy.

They eventually stop on a barren hill overlooking an extremely large estate. Ok it’s more of a palace but it’s home for now. Helwater Estate is owned by the Dunsany’s and Lord John has arranged for Jamie to live there for now. He explains it really is the best he could do for Jamie, short of a pardon and he should be totes grateful. They kiss and make up and stride off into the sunset.

Claire is soothing a patient’s stressed relative when she sees Dr Joe coming with his serious face. This can’t be good. It’s Frank! Nooooooooooooo! There’s been a car accident. Well, stick a fork in me I am done as all the feels are happening on my face. Damn onions.

Claire races to the morgue to see that he is indeed dead. As she enters the room, my heart shatters with hers. Frank’s face is without a scratch and so surely he’ll pop up in a minute like Jon Snow. Give it a minute...... ok, one more minute..... Nope. *ugly crying She finds his dead neck most magnetic and goes in for a whiff or a kiss, we aren’t sure. It’s a bit weird. Claire confesses to his nearby spirit that she really did love him *eyeroll and that he was her first love. Nawwww. *tears again. Claire slowly leans in for a final kiss and a tear rolls down her face onto Frank’s nose. Gahh! Too blurry to type more.....

The End.

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