#[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too

[baishouqijia]

i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3

#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me. #for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh. #having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y #as for home... Man (horse.jpg) #we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor #after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time. #i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes #wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done #so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal. #but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard. #anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out. #[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too #like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares #but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna #lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All. #' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR #sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox #anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn. #can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense. #aight byeee