#{ almost 7 its 7.30 i got to stop ok }

[fmdxjerome]

hello people from old and new! naomi is back in action with her son jerome. i’ve been stuck in my sisters house for the last weeks of my absence because she went on vacation and i had to take care of a sick rabbit who peed everywhere. i might have a disease now at the amount he bit me but what can you do. im joking. you might ask “but naomi doesnt your sister have wifi” yes she do but i’m an anxious wreck so spending my days on a first floor apartment  with my sister on the other side of the world w an infected foot had me fucke d upppp boiii but now i’m back in my own home and my sister + her boyfriend are safely home!! foot all fine!! and everyone is calm again!! so!! i can return with a good heart. i’ll be sliding in the dms of the people who bear emoticon’ed me 600 years ago and bc i suck w introducing myself to new people i’ll just hi!!!!! i think when i wake up i’m gonna do a “bio reading” marathon as i write bc i need to appreciate. also shit i need more threads wow i suck might see me replying to some open starters and def need to get back to plotting bc there are some people i’ve been dying to thread with ;^;

its like 6am now so i might b heading 2 bed now but under the cut there will be a reintroduction to jerome (one i promised in januari i believe) as im rewriting his bio (no major things change really its just minor things nd its time for an upgrade) so yes! hello (ims will come tomorrow as well ;3;)

also fact. mullet daddy jaebum is jerome rn dont drag him dont @ him its gone before you know it. probs after idolized its a look tho wow i love- a chic farmer (... the short bangs are tragic tho jerome honey i kno u liked them on wren but ur not wren. jerome: but i- me: no. this this not this jerome: :( ok fine me: fuego 

anyway before i pass out here is reintroduction. the triggers are; adoption, racism themes??? like yeah ok!! apologize if this is shit. hope everyone is having a good day though you all are great!

Jerome Gauthier aka Yuddy

-Anti idol

-Has an okay reputation but that’s because he’s smart about things.

-BC eyeing him tho *eyes fake friends with good reputation for him to hang out with* (hmu for fake friend plots. funny the person w the best rep of all actually likes jerome. bless jisoos christ. guess that praying on knees worked out in the end huh jerome. /dont/ sainthood is waiting)

-Talented™. (ask him to write songs for you) (Actually have a few songs in my library i want him to write but not sing so *eyes*)

-Passionate as fuck don’t mess with him in the studio (passionate all over tbh)

-Adopted and in search of his bloodlines

-Hoe but not really

-Actually, scrap that. Nicknames him JerHOEme

-Is actually lovely

-But acts like a shit

-Slips up and is soft to people sometimes before being a complete and utter asshole the next second

-bc soft jerome whOMST i only know deMON

-Suave Fuckboy who’s nonchalant about everything

-French™

-Will call you baby at some point in your life

-Signature smirk

-Egotistic???? Narcissistic??? a lil bit don’t stroke his ego

-Secretive™. not much info on his time in france

-Secretly a dad without children (except for his actual biological son insoo aka chorizo sausage who he goes to play ball with- i mean work on songs in the studio. seriously catch him picking up his son from soccer practice i mean shit no i mean- ok insoo is really his son dont fight me on this.)

-And also has a daughter an Oriental shorthair cat called Edith who he is so soft with he kicks out girls to cuddle with her. (one meow and he’s home)

- we support WISH hating jerome in this household. please people who have girls in WISH dont let them like him (or be a rebel and go against the mothers wishes but you’ve been warned)

-Dont let him get in your pants too like ask wren you dont want that (or i mean with the list of kinks i peeped maybe idk who am i to say what your muse wants or does not want idk im just protecting people from satan)

-Unlikely he’ll get in any pants now anyway tho bc he a proud shopper at papa juliens pizza and y’all some other brand type ish domino lookin asses NAH *throws hands up* rome’s in the house (no but guys. this is his soulmate THIS IS HIM. dISgUStiNG- )

-In 2016 interview took him out of context and it looks like he hates all idol rappers but is not true. He just doesn’t like companies making rap out to be like this thing you can do if you’re pretty and you can’t sing and he doesn’t like it when said pretty idols know nothing of it. he gets the grind but will side eye (benjy nd jerome already have a rivalry bc of this shit thank u interviewer)

-Dating scandals?? EHH. He almost had one with a Japanese model called Momo in the beginning of his career but BC did well of spinning them as friends and he legit had one with his ex last october which?????????? shit she touched his *spoiler* and it was *spoiler* . BC about to ban him from fashion shows damn. yoonah and him have to go to paris fashion week quick

-BC has yet to force him into a relationship tho. but damn he gonna be angry when that ever happens yoo. 

-Studied to become a cinematographer. Now is annoying as fuck during recording MV’s bc he butts into everything (BUT thats why his his mvs so AESTHETIC. eye for beauty bois)

-Holler at ya boi if you want a nice mv he’s involved like that

-Also to the girls who have been in an MV with Jerome.. know he probably flirted with you between takes bc during he’s grade a professionalism but he still a ho

-Actual catlady no questions asked (he feeds stray cats and gets cut up by edith when she smells other cats on him rip)

-Actual wife material no questions asked (to quote the great Halit Yilmaz during that time Jerome stood in the kitchen for hours making baklava and other Turkish treats for Halit’s Eid al-Fitr: “Shit, Jerome if you were a girl i’d marry you in a heartbeat.” and its true. we would ALL marry jerome. who says no is lying. )

-Smooth™

-Ok the ego thing btw its weird its an act but hes weird about it dont ask

idk what else to write ok short rundown of his bio as again i’m writing a new one and i cringe every time i look at my old one. im probs forgetting a lot but EYO ITS 6AM WHO CARES

CHILDHOOD age 0 to 10

-Born to a single mom who got fucked over by a smash nd dash dad. (we side eye Ok Chanwook in this household.)

-Moms family discouraged her from taking care of him herself so putting up for adoption it is.

-Very emotional not ok mom boram cry a lot pls. (got v angry too like boi if she ever sees chanwook again he can change his name to no dick larry)

-Adopted by a French couple called Lucas and Daphné (previously named Annelies). pretty kool peeps

-JK racist assholes who fetishize jerome a lot. PLEASE. the yellow fever runs deep. take him away from them,

-Raised in a small town in France and knew 0 Asians growing up. so thats nice

-Loves his adoptive grandpa to death tho (who’s he named after u3u)

-Actually hates the rest lol

-Ok uncle Rémy pretty cool bc he laughs at teen!Jerome shit talking his parents and aunt Camille. She a sweety ;3; a bit odd but a sweety #stanauntCamille

-Basically the people on the Gauthier side and born from Jerome and Clemintine are ok, the rest is shit (except for his dad Lucas. He a Gauthier but he shit)

-Junior/Senior relationship w granpda ;3; “Pépé!!” “Junior!!” *tiny jerome swings around grandpa’s neck* LOVE

-Grandma passed when he was 9. (he loved her very much and would always show her his drawings on her bed ;-;)

-Hard time adjusting at first when he was a tiny toddler. had a lisp talking french. ;3; baby rome

-young jerome had a bad case of the abandonment issues he literally held onto his dads leg for like 30 minutes before the teacher finally peeled him away from him. my smol boi

-Elephants. remember this. is important. /sob

-TLDR; biological mom didnt want to loose him. adoptive parents and dad are fucks. grandpa is kool. jerome had a good childhood until he didnt. thank u ignorance

TEEN YEARS age 10 to 20

-middle school very nice

-j FUCKING KKKKK EMO JEROME INBOUNDDDD

-kids are mean. teens are mean. young!jerome v lonely

-honestly he had no friends. except for like maybe this one kid on his sport called mattheo but he kinda a weeb so uhhhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-the time comes that he feels uncomfortable with everything korean. he already learned korean along side french and english when he was growing up but now distances himself from further learning. he clings to french culture a lot and even to this day he refers to himself as french and european, and rarely refers to himself as korean or asian.

-feels disconnected from both though. its like.. his parents took his korean culture away from him by using it for their own amusement. it was not his to have basically. and french- a lot of people around him give the vibe he’s not “allowed” to call himself fully french. they see him as korean, korean-french but never just french. he feels very misunderstood. lack of identity and just not fitting in

-around this time (or earlier i’m musing still) his cousin Antonin (moms side) kind of fell out on him. like. wow. not good. fucked jerome up a lil. (issues intensify)

-inferiority complex inbound/ is he ok? no he isnt. he starts writing to get his emotions out.

-Blessed Freddy rolled in teen jerome’s life like: guess we need to do history homework together jerome: aren’t you gonna make a ‘do my homework bc you’re asian’ joke freddy: why would i jerome:

-they bond over music, freddy is the one who gets him serious about getting into it (we thank our lord freddy for this gift of life we call singer/songwriter jerome. pray to freddy 10 times a day *srry jisoos christ but ur out*)

-literally young jerome would be a great soundcloud artist in this day and age. he was like joji meets rei brown with more of an rnb tinge. he liked ambient because it calmed him.

-in his old bio thats still up bc im a slow writer his old name was some dumb shit like l.only DUMB its romeles now (get it.. jeROME LESlie gauthier. im smart)

-OK IM GONNA GO QUICKER NOW

-eMO FOR A LONG TIME BC OF LONELINESS AND OTHERING FREDDY IS HIS BEACON OF HOPE WE LOVE FREDDY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!!!!!

-had a big ass fall out with his parents when he was around 15? was like “UHHH FUCK Y’ALL” and moved in with his grandpa (he was very disrespectful like damn boy but you know what. i support)

-best decision of his life because grandpa v lonely after his wife died and Jerome^2 is… so soft.

-Jerome dancing/singing to old tunes and being engrossed with old movies

-Learning how to cook ;3;

-I mean bc his middle and highschool were in Laval he spend a lot of his time w his grandpa already so he already had a bed and ;-; #jerome^2

-Halit rolls into his life. Braces, huge smile, lil prepubescent stash ohmygod. My child.

-BLANC is born. Freddy/Jerome/Halit’s musical trio. Stan the Three Musketeers

-Found his first best friend and a purpose in Freddy. Found a home in Halit. (sob)

-Finds solace in rnb and hiphop. People start noticing him because of it. Writes songs and performs them in café’s. Found his niche. 15 to 19 where his “best”  years

-THE BIG MOVE. After a concerned halit mom, a proud freddy mom and a “WHAT THE FUCK JEROME NO DONT GO” jerome mom they pack their bags and PARIS HERE WE COME

-Enter ex who haunts his life, Seo Yumi aka Marie (now model, v pretty, makes me cry)

-Spots her in the summer doing yoga in the park and boi he an assman so he got fucked up (jk he saw her face and was like wHAT love at first sight

-enrolls in film school, meets her there again and wow falls in love hard like wow calm down boy

-Dating~~~v possessive not good at ALL cALM DOWN JEROME

-ok he got his issues nd marie was the first one who openly listened to his problems and understood and made him appreciate his korean heritige bc she’s korean and showed him cultural aspects without the gross fetishizing that came with his parents and he just- he got intense ok. he already got a v intense personality so- still not good tho he needs to dial it down

-she thought so too and like after a year she was !!!! what the fuck. she is not one for serious relationships but jerome was like ehhh why not in the beginning its v nice to hear nd be seen as the most beautiful ok but then it got suffocating but instead of breaking up with him she kept him around. he a safe haven ya know. reliable. someone to built on later. *i wanna say she also didnt break up w him because his emo stories but marie,,, eh...* (funny tho like she got a thing for bad boys so she just “this is the fifth time you called me beautiful just degrade me lil like choke me idk” and jerome just “w-why would i do that you’re beautiful i dont want to hurt you” ah *looks into the future* ohhowthetableshaveturned.mp4 )

-Marie cheated on him the second she got the chance which was when jerome went to america w his bros

-Got offered a job as a songwriter when in ny. Wouldnt think he’d take it but after getting kicked out of school for beating the shit out of the guy marie cheated on him with and with marie out of the picture nothing held him back from starting a new life.

-TLDR; emo era. silver era. emo era 2 emo harder

ADULTHOOD age 20 to now

-Seoul make way for the rise of YUDDY™

-the name yuddy is from the film days of being wild. the character is kinda yuddy-ish too so he saw the film again and yep. thats my name

-Fuck_love.mp3

-Visits his orphanage. they like “nah boi u aint got no papers boi”

-Parents can give him access to his birthmother btw, aren’t doing it lol

-EMO

-Drinks. Sleeps around. Gets a reputation. You kno how it is. (gr8 ride tho. highly recommend. 5 out of 5 stars on yelp)

-SMASH ND DASH. Chanwook is that u??????

-One girl who he got with multiple times reminded him of Marie tho and that fucked him up for a bit (PSST ITS A PLOT WINK SO IF YA GIRL OF AGE IN THE 2013′S HMU BC ITS DRAMATIC HE GHOSTED THE SHIT OUT OF HER)

-Writes a lot of songs, a few for BC (knight baes). BC like *eye emoji* who dat boi who him iz

-Gets sign w BCreate and is like eyy life pretty good

-but lmao he debut and oh who’s that pretty girl promoting that lipstick?? oh.. its marie ;3;

-imfine.jpeg

-Joins main label and literally joins w a blessing stream limbo on spotify

-wgm era was a great era of jerome lmty his hair was great, shared cute personal things, manager was happy, slept with his best friend, was married to a sweet beautiful girl ya know the good stuff  👍 no im not crying you are

-triple fantasy era was awful we dont talk about that he looked like his brother and i’m still emotional about him wow. 

-instagram is a great song

-Interviewer: u mention an ex in ur song tell me more Jerome: *SWEATS*  

-Marie: my short hair DOES look pretty thank u babe ur red hair was cute too <3<3

-The fact she linked to him now is spook

-But ok he still flirty, still daring, still yuddy™ but definitely less of the whole “sleeping around” thing now bc he… he uhh closetoyou.mp3

TLDR; he turned into his dad but romeo is rising AND HE IS SCARED!!!!!

also never forget jerome is the messiest king in this ok non y’all are as messy as him. he fucked his ex’s friend oK THERE IS NOTHING MORE MESSY. dONT COME FOR HIS CROWN

#Writer Speaks. #ooc. { i dont want to reset the clock again it says 6am in this post its almost 7am i've been here since 4 i'm slower than usual wow } #{ almost 7 its 7.30 i got to stop ok } #{v sleepy now so!! goodnight talk to everyone in a few hours}

[shytiff]

Small August Wins

1 - DL, did my part for PKP, read a bit about leprosy reaction (PKP related), watched a cute movie tune in for love, ara stayed over at my home, edited 1 pld article

2 - exercised a bit, edited 3 pld articles, DL, finished ppt tinpus PKP, walked to the nearby lake with ara, ate nasgor smoked chicken (been a while!) and jco donuts and my tummy is happy, felt afraid with DV exam huft. I hope I can prepare myself properly

3 - DL, edited 1 article, went to school together w ara, deep fried by dr adhi for my minicex (but i am grateful for the opportunity), emir took a while to pick me up (he left home 1530 and arrived 1715) so i did some status work, arrived at home super hungry but moms food is delicious and wow glucose is finally in (after previously supported by nasi uduk and 1 jco donut) and the pain from today sort of fades away.

4 - DL, tried to study as much as i could (the panic is real), went to kencana to get dr adhis signature at 12 but he replied my chat at about 1330 🙃 , finished self reflection, group called with my group for exam prep

5 - did not DL bcs i fell asleep!! Thank god for streak freeze, met up with dr adhi in poli regarding minicex bcs turns out he brought my status etc, hes very kind 🥺 dr yudo kindly took his time to answer questions via wa voicenote even though he had a tiring day 🥺 bless all the kind people in this world

6 - DL, alhamdulillah passed the exam with dr sondang and dr larissa even though i was being a dumb ass student (thankfully theyre patient enough). Honestly panicked during the morning, i was super afraid. Searched some drug dosage for renata. I hope she passes the remed!!

7 - slept and lazed all day :( edited 1 article, dv closing. Managed to say thanks to dr yudo even though i was lowkey near tears bcs i cant for the life of me say something even mildy emotional, DL at like 15 mins before midnight

8 - finally at lvl 3 DL by cheating with my notes lmaoo, ate burgers and half pizza by dcheese pizza but had mencret2 the next day lmaooo, watched bosscha virtual sky sightseeing

9 - DL, watched Summer Vacation, edited 2 articles, put some sheet mask on (the numbers surely diminished since my cousin took some 🙂 ), pretty much watched youtube all day. At night i dreamed going to a villa that kinda looks like matamori, and the villa near it was also booked by other groups of friend, and i was recording snow falling from the sky and snow on the cliffs, but there was also a snake under the bed, and writing patients resume -_-(?)

10 - DL, read pem psikiatri cbt batch 1 optima, 25 CBT PADI, a fruitful 2,5 hr discussion with dr Heriani, SpKJ

11 - DL, poli with mendel hari and dr Khamelia, SpKJ, mustered some courage to do the ppt, phoned the patient to ask a little bit more, fell asleep and thank god i’ve prayed isya

12 - DL, lazied and played get rich, felt sick and was sick, nose congested, head starting to hurt, i dont know what is it that triggered my emotions but when my dad asked "tiff kok bersin2?" i felt like i have no privacy and they were too intruding and i wept silently in my room (bcs ppl outside can hear) and yall my nose just goes 100% blocked. aint accepting air today. Massaged my face around the sinus area until i can somehow breathe nicely and fall asleep. (took about half and hour of snot cleaning, drinking and mulling around)

13 - since i felt bad abt lazying i started my day early. Woke up at 5. Put on tretinoin, 15 CBT PADI, DL, naskah psikiatri WIP (Work in progress). It rained today. The sky was grey half of the day, which I LOVE. I felt better and more cheery, especially at abt 4-5 pm when it was raining hard and im snuggled in bed. The laptop stand arrived and bitch it was fucking amazing. My back and neck muscles felt less awkward and/or sore working at my ergonomically-awful table and chair combo turned ok thanks to laptop stand!!

14 - DL, poli with dr cika, crashed aras place (drank thai tea, ate flip burger and sausages), it felt refreshing to be in a different place rather than seeing my room all day everyday. Afterwards ara indah and i ate po noodle bar, the taste was kind of herbal (not brothy) in a good way. Tried some sort of gyoza, it was good too. Juan got accepted at USU civic engineering. Went to atikahs place, passed a red light and i got ppl a bit annoyed lmao sorry :(((, talked with atikah until 1-2ish pm

15 - richeese and fried rice for brunch time, went back home (felt socially refreshed!) to see 2 bottles of sbux coffee i ordered, claras nastar and vit d supplement from tokped. Did RPS and ikhtisar for naskah. DL. Sbux' coffee still upsets my stomach lmao but it did keep me awake and focused enough til 11 pm

16 - DL, after staying over at friends place i feel.suer content to be just at home. Ate while watching erna limdaughs vids, sleeeept

17 - DL, naskah WIP, whipped myself to go do naskah by drinking caramel macchiato and playing coffee - bts. It tasted better when i hear jks soothing voice

18 - DL, finally panicked a bit and did ppt, read a bit abt bipolar, chugged hazelnut dolce latte and somehow its not bitter anymore it actually tasted good. Talked w mendel and hari a bit abt the patient

19 - the dr actually showed up to zoom while i was opening other screen and i didnt realize (ultra embarrassing!!!) basically my diagnosis for axis I and II were wrong. She was kindly explaining and i was more dissapointed with myself but at least its all over? Talked w hansel a bit. Revised a bit of naskah. Submitted hardcopy of naskah and refleksi to mbak Asma. Went to ara. DL, ate gwen's dimsum (quite good and fulfilling). Planned to go to kashiwa but we ended up getting bakmi akiaw. Went back "home" to DM, took only 35 mins.

20 - DL, slept half of the day since im on my period (what even is daily structure), woke up in the evening, decided to start “the folk of the air” series. Binged the first book in one go, from 8 pm to 1 am lmaoo

21 - DL, finished the series at night. it’s nice but not as good as six of crows duology. bts comeback with dynamite!! :) i love them. its scary to think they are still progressing and going up and getting better stats. When will it all stop?

22 - discussion with dr natalia spKJ at 7.30 am, DL, drank matcha latte at starbucks airport hub (been a while! It doesnt taste quite good as i remembered) while backing up HD data at drive and some padi CBT (finished TO 3. After all this time, only to 3?!), felt a bit better after i went out, read a falling cohabitation again

23 - DL, danced to baepsae, slept in the afternoon (my body is too weak nowadays)

24 - DL, psychiatry closing, 1 pamela reif vid, 2P (CBT PADI)

25 - DL, made latar belakang for propeks nemo

26 - DL, 4P, rapat nemo

27 - DL, met up with atikah pupuy @ toska, tried yogurt and fruit, mac and cheese, vegan mentai rice and had dinner @ bakmi gm. mom somehow told (and allowed) me to go back home (it was 9 am and i was abt to stay over at atikah’s)

28 - DL, i dont feel like doing anything helppp, i know there’s stuff that im supposed to do but i cant bring myself to do it. a week will pass by, a month, and before you know it exam will arrive

29 - DL, ordered burgushi, i literally have no strength to go at static bike (can only do for a couple of mins), didnt rly do anything else bcs im in a slump nowadays

30 - its scary that the month is almost over again. my life just goes away like that but i still dont feel like doing anything, DL, tried to follow some dances on youtube to move my body

31 - DL, 2A, 4P

[somethingmustbreak-project]

“You would like that we were not here. But we are too emotionally absorbed by the homesickness of places that we’ll see only from the windows of our Bentleys”

An environment seemingly unreachable: familiar to us as much as distant.

Paul Barsch Pierre Clement Michele Gabriele Andrew Birk Nuno Patrício Lucia Leuci Monia Ben Hamouda

With text contributions by Keiu Krikmann and Matteo Mottin. Concept, documentation, curation: Michele Gabriele.

She is driving, angry. She is driving, sad. She’s been driving for hours, nowhere in particular – post-fight. Highway, industrial landscape – in transit. By now, together with fading daylight her mind is turning soggy and dropping off, out of focus. Her eyes are on the road, thoughts floating around her; some circling back, again and again.

She’s worn out from the fight, her emotional state and the smothering synthetic smell in her car are stirring up something; the spiralling thoughts are gathering, she’s driving into a vortex.

Barely acknowledging it, she glimpses things she isn’t really sure are there, objects or images she can’t place – superfluous and not part of the landscape. A flash of blue sky, when it’s clearly getting dark. A round pattern, a bit detached and too close – what – doesn’t matter. The bitterness and chafed vibes from before and the stuffiness of the car are closing in on her – leaving little room for anything outside – pickled, probed and gray – ugh, can she even be??

All the fights she’s had in this car! Why do arguments always happen in the car? And then you are stuck in a wildfire in a tin box with no escape – that is just the worst.

With mom it had been long passive-aggressive streaks. Their fights were thick, like expired plasticine or shit, you couldn’t get it off of you, you couldn’t get the smell out. And the level of pettiness was unreal.

Something registered – like – she doesn’t – umm no.

And then, with her – heavy screaming, fights so intense they were physically exhausting. It had obviously not always been like that, but eventually she had grow to resent everything about her, she had grown to hate her hair in particular, sometimes at night she had thought she’s gonna cut her fucking hair off in a clump. Cut and run – just leave it – just –. Heavy beats, gasping for air. Get – get the – fuck – fuck – out – out of – my car. I don’t get mad!

A story so cliché she was embarrassed to admit it. Another unplaceable object faintly flickered in corner of her eye, or in her mind’s eye, or somewhere in-between.

She now knows for sure, this car is a vehicle of fights – she can’t get the exhaust fumes of confrontations out, everything is drenched in it. She needs a new car to vanquish the spirits. Somewhere along the road she has become like all those women laughing alone with salad, quietly gone mad – and she – will go off – blow off – up – and beyond. The neon letters are all fucked up, she can’t read the signs anymore. This one’s gone to the vortex.

– Keiu Krikmann

___________________________

Facebook THU 12.01.2017 – 2:14 PM

MG: Hello Matteo, I wanted to ask you if you could come visit me one of these days. There’s something I’d like to show you. MM: Sounds good! What’s that about? Where do you wanna meet? MG: Let’s meet at the Seregno’s trains station, early in the morning. Catch the first train you can. And let me know by what time you’ll be there. MM: I could be there next Wednesday. I’ll catch the train in Turin at 5.50 AM and I’ll be in Seregno by 7.30. How about that? MG: That’s great Matte! MM: What is this all about? MG: I’ve got a few things to show you. Telling you wouldn’t be the same. You must see them yourself.

Seregno WED 7:32 AM

MM: Hello there Michele, it’s so good to see you here, just like the first time we met, when I came for the studio visit. MG: There you are, of course I remember! Seregno never changes, like all these area actually. It waits for you but it never helps. MM: On that matter, what’s awaiting me in Seregno today? MG: We’re just leaving, we’re going to Milan. Please, get in the car. That’s no Bentley, some call it my wheelchair, but it’s still carrying me around. MM: Why are we going to Milan? Did you change your mind? I’d have waited for you there if you told me. MG: We must go there together. Shall we leave? MM: Do you mind if I keep this recorder on? MG: Not at all.

WED 7:48 AM

MG: Look at this tunnel here, it connects Brianza and Milan. I used to get stuck in traffic for hours to get to the city center before this was built. I believe it has had a strong influence on my production, esthetically speaking. Look at the colors. It’s new but still it looks like it’s been here forever. It’s one of the longest urban tunnels in Europe. It repeats itself over and over, same doors, same streetlights. This makes it look shorter but it’ll be around two kilometers long. MM: Wait a minute, what’s that? Did you see that? Just at the entrance of the tunnel. They looked like dreadlocks. MG: They are dreadlocks, tied up and thrown there. They recall a sitting person, if you’ve got that type of imaginary need. Still it looks like they fell there by chance. Has if someone threw them away, forgotten… MM: As if someone threw them from a running car. Can we go back to get a better look? MG: It’s better not to stop here, we must go on. Cars should be going at 90 km/h, but who’s driving that slow? MM: When we first met you used to have dreadlocks. I remember coming across Rastamen, they were always saluting you, beating their fist on their chest. It’s interesting how we found those dreadlocks right here in this tunnel, almost as if you left them behind to move faster to the city center… MG: Yes, I remember my dreadlocks! I didn’t think about that! You know Paul Barsch is keeping them? He made an artwork out of them and he exhibited them for the project Cielo Milano curated by him and Tilman Hornig months ago. Come on, let’s get out of here, let’s catch the first exit.

WED 8:11 AM

MM: Wait, slow down, there’s a small mouse! MG: Fuck that’s true! MM: Don’t squash it! MG: Yes, I’ll be careful. The Lambro river runs around here, that’s why it’s full of rats. MM: Ok, it crossed the road. Now it’s under those, ehm, twelve antennas? What are those twelve antennas on the wall for? MG: In this time of the year and this time of the day the light comes in a particularly white shade, desaturated and the objects outdoors look white just for a few minutes. Then the sky changes color and so do they. MM: That’s true, those objects usually keep a strong relationship with the sky, the weather and the light, even if placed like that, at that height, they look like they’re trying to show us a will to be listening and receiving in a place were, perhaps, there’s nothing interesting to be listening to. MG: I don’t know Matteo, surely antennas are usually above us, we all know them but we rarely get to see them close. Assembled with shamanic aesthetics, with bamboo canes and plumes, it look like they are ironically showing us two different clichès.

WED 8:23 AM

MM: The traffic is getting more intense, where are we? MG: We’re in the northernmost part of Milan. Let’s see if I can pull over. MM: Careful, the car in front of you is stopping, there’s something on the road. It looks like… is that salad? Wait, is that the work you made for the Bubble Tea show? MG: Yes, I better move it today or I’ll get in trouble. MM: What’s it doing hanging from the traffic divider? MG: Well, Matte… consider this as a guided tour. This is “You would like that we were not here. But we are too emotionally absorbed by the homesickness of places that we’ll see only from the windows of our Bentleys”: a group show. MM: You curated a group show setting up the works on the road from Brianza to Milan? MG: In a certain way, yes. Paul Barsch’s work is in the tunnel that, for me, links my house to Milan. But all the others are in the city. MM: Your works always have a lot to do with observing what surrounds them, and from that you develop them in a very sincere way, without being even bothered by the fact that the result might be disappointing. This work reminds me of the eating sculpture by Gianni Anselmo, only it looks faster: the lettuce is not withering, it’s being squeezed by the passing cars. What’s its title? MG: “Whity-Trashy vol.3 (I stay if you hold me tight)”. Lately, it’s as if I felt a lot more freedom in formally using the elements in my work almost carelessly.

WED 4:12 PM

MM: We’ve been driving all afternoon, but we haven’t come across any work for quite along time now. Is the show over? It’s almost sunset. MG: No, it’s not over yet but I thought we should have waited a little to see this one. Look up there! That’s “Clouds” by Andrew Birk. MM: It may be the time or the way you set it up, or maybe both, but that work looks extremely delicate and melancholy to me, as if it wanted to save an intimate and fleeting moment without telling us about it. MG: It’s been months now I’ve been observing the relationship between Andrew Birk and his work and I’m entranced by it. MM: Can you tell me more about it? MG: It’s the feeling I get, the number of canvases, the different ways of painting them. An erupting volcano. And every time he’s stripping himself down completely. Watching him working is amazing to me.

WED 6:35 PM

MM: Are you sure we can go this way? Isn’t it a private road? MG: Who cares. I’ve never seen anybody here. It gets you to a subway station. Can you hear the noise? MM: Yes, I must tell you it makes me shiver. These orange streetlights, they always made me claustrophobic. MG: Do they make you feel trapped even if we are outdoors? MM: Yes they do, they make me feel so… wait, there’s something next to that gate. Is it a painting? MG: Yes, a digitalized painting by Nuno Patricio. Its got a metal structure holding it to the ground. MM: It reminds me something I probably saw in a movie, but I can’t recall what it is now… MG: To me as well. Maybe it reminds me of a whole movie genre. When I was young I used to buy the weekly magazine “UFOs and Aliens”. Do you remember that? Buying it made me feel better than the others, one step closer to secret knowledge. MM: I was very fascinated by it as well, but then I remember thinking “if this stuff is that secret, then why can I get it so easily at the news-stand?”.

WED 10:36 PM

MG: The heating in my car comes and goes. Sorry about that, Matteo, I know it’s getting cold. Usually, it doesn’t work when it’s cold while it works perfectly when you don’t need it. MM: That’s what we’re gonna do: pull over as soon as you can, I’ll smoke a cigarette, I’ll be cold so that when we get back in the car it’ll be almost warm. MG: That sounds just about right.

WED 10:40 PM

MG: Alright, I’ll stop here. MM: Look, there’s something in the grass. They looks like tiny dolls. Hey, they’re Lucia Leuci’s from the exhibition at Tile Project Space! MG: I’ve chosen to exhibit some of the works from Lucia Leuci’s latest solo show. “Mamme Cattive e Bambini Creoli”. I’ve set them up here, among the grass in the dark. The concept of being creole upon which she’s been reflecting, the way in which she touches things. To me this really was one of last year’s most inspiring art works. Seeing them here, as if they were left behind, forgotten, moves me. MM: That may be because they’re so delicate. Seeing them here, in such an anonymous lawn, so close to the highway, conveys a strange feeling of danger, as if they were the ones in charge. MG: Probably, I’ve always felt as if they were the ones in danger, you know? MM: Maybe it is so. Maybe, because of how they were made, it’s very hard for them to find somewhere where they belong. Maybe they really don’t belong anywhere. MG:I feel represented. MM: Be careful, you’re getting too romantic. MG:Let’s go, there’s just one more work I want to show you. After that I’ll take you back to the station, it’s very late already and you might miss the last train back. MM: Will we make it or is it too dark allredy? MG: Of course we’ll make it. Everybody passing through the highway will see it with us.

WED 11:04 PM

MM: What song is this? I like it, can you turn the volume up? MG: “Reason” by Spooky Black. I’ve been listening to this kind of music a lot, lately. It’s called “sadboy music”, I think. MM: It really sounds like that.

WED 11:07PM

MM: Is that up there the work? I can’t really read what’s written upon it. MG: Yes, you to look at it for a while to understand it. You should get closer. MM: But now we’ve already moved past it, I couldn’t read it all. It’s a bit like it happens with songs, you get some of the words but you can’t understand it as a whole. MG: The font it’s written in is an art work by Monia Ben Hamouda, while the text is the verse from a song. “…Searching for wrong, so you can point your stubborn finger at me again, at me again…” MM: I see why it’s at the end of the show, it’s like the credits. MG: Yes, the credits. MM: When it comes to emotions, it’s always hard to keep the focus on who’s feeling them. It’s easier to identify with the emotion itself. And this has been a very emotional trip. MG: Thanks Matteo. MM: Thank you.

– Matteo Mottin in conversation with Michele Gabriele Something Must Break © 2017 All Rights Reserved.