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[heartual]

#…………………….​…………………….​…………………….​……………………. #feeling mentally ill might delete later #…………………….​…………………….​…………………….​…………………….. #is this a safe space . i miss feeling pretty #my cousin took a picture of me and my mom from the back and i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it el oh el #made a comment about it to my mom like oh man why’d she take that :( #and she goes oh yeah i’m looking a little wide there too smh #where do i even start there #the fact that she’s several pounds lighter than i am or the fact that i didn’t mention that at All #not verbally at least #also her not saying anything else?? #being around my mom rly externalizes the internalized fatphobia in me like why do i feel like krilling myself #i hate being around her so much sometimes i’m sorry #thank you chronic illness and medication weight fluctuations for the enhanced mental illness #i’m being sooooo not eating disordered about it! #ed mention #weight mention #because why am i yearning for the body i had after losing weight to food poisoning twice in the same year #where i was so miserable i could barely eat like a person. someone get me away from my mom i beg #🍄.txt